"We have arrived, Mr King." The driver announced.
Ashton's grip on Lilly's hand tightened even more. She placed her free hand on their connected ones and gave him a reassuring smile and after a beat, Ashton got out of the car. As the driver opened the door for Lilly Ashton was already by her side. Holding her hand once again he squeezed it tightly.
They were standing in front of what looked like a private clinic, Lilly noticed. Holding her hand he marched forward while she wondered what they were doing here. As they entered, the receptionist smiled looking at Ashton.
"Mr King, Mr Joseph is waiting for you."
Ashton nodded and placing a hand at the small of Lilly's back they marched forward. Lilly's heart was racing with every step they took towards the closed door. He knocked at the closed door twice before entering.
As the door opened Lilly found a man in his late forties sitting in his chair. He looked at them and smiled, "Welcome I was waiting for you." The man gestured towards the couch as he asked them to take a seat. Lilly and Ashton sat on the sofa as the psychiatrist took the seat adjacent to them.
"Hello, I am Joseph Keith." The man introduced himself. "I am Ashton's doctor."
"I am Lilly." she smiled back.
"She is my wife." Ashton interrupted making Lilly wonder if her heart would beat so crazily every time he calls her his wife.
"I know Ashton." Joseph's words interrupted Lilly's thoughts and she tried to bring her attention back to the conversation.
"So how much of it have you made known to her, Ashton?" the doctor asked looking at him expectantly.
Ashton looked at him and answered after a few beats. "About 95%."
"Well, that's pretty much everything."
Lilly looked from one man to another trying to understand what exactly was going on but completely failing to comprehend the situation.
"Alright. I would need to talk to Lilly in private." The doctor said looking at Ashton.
"It's just me, you and Lilly. It's private enough, I guess." Ashton answered trying to be nonchalant.
Joseph sighed. "I need to talk to Lilly alone. So would you please wait outside, Ashton?"
Ashton looked at Lilly hoping she would ask him to stay but she didn't utter a word in his support. So finally giving up to the doctor Ashton reluctantly got up from his seat.
"Alright. I will be waiting in the reception but make it quick."
He placed a kiss on the crown of Lilly's head and headed out of the small cabin leaving behind a flustered Lilly who had wanted to question the need of that kiss in front of a stranger. She could feel the curious eyes of the doctor and that made her even more nervous.
"He seems to have progressed a lot." the doctor commented and Lilly looked at him. He was smiling. "Since you already know a lot about his situation so let's not waste time on what you are already aware of and get straight to the point."
Lilly nodded so the doctor continued, "I'm Ashton's doctor. He has been suffering from PTSD since he was six. I hope you know this much."
"Yes," Lilly affirmed.
"He thinks that he is the one responsible for his mother's death-"
"But he isn't." Lilly interrupted taking a stand for her husband. "He was just a child back then."
" I know that but it's hard to make him understand the same." The doctor reasoned.
Well, he was right, she sighed. She had tried once and had failed.
"For how long has he been coming to you?" Lilly asked.
"I have known him for six or seven years. I am not his first doctor. His first doctor was someone his housemaid Grace took him to as a child. We are lucky that Grace took him to a psychiatrist when he was in his early stages of all this suffering or else things would have gone even more complex for him. Even after so many years, he is unable to forgive himself. He still feels guilty for something he hasn't even done. His first doctor was an old gentleman so after he was gone Ashton stopped taking the treatment. He had grown into a teenager and maybe thought he could manage things on his own so for many years he neglected the treatment." The doctor sighed as the picture of a lost teen painted in front of his eyes.
"Though he still suffered from those nightmares and panic attacks but never once thought of taking his troubles to a psychiatrist. He never thought of asking for help. I don't know what brought him to my door but since then he's been my patient. I've no idea whether it was because he needed to talk to someone or maybe because he needed me to prescribe him some medicines which could ease his pain and suffering. After all, he specifically demanded it once. I am glad that he came here because after that he once again tried to get his life back on track. He focused on his business and today he has his empire."
Lilly smiled at that. Of course, she too was proud of him. He had done something marvellous.
"Now coming back to the present I have two things to say. So what would you like to hear first Mrs King, good news or bad news?"
"Bad one first," Lilly answered saving the dessert for later.
"Alright. The bad news is that PTSD is not something that can be cured. It isn't a fever that I will give medicine of and he will be cured the next day."
She knew it somewhere in her heart but still his words succeeded to shock her. "Is there no way we can make him forget his nightmares and panic attacks?"
"It's hard to." Joseph sighed. "We don't know what things will trigger him. Usually, the things that trigger him are related to his mother or sometimes it's people's words. Like, Elsie who blame him for his mother's death."
"How do you know about her?"
"He disclosed this fact to me in a drunk state. He was drunk for days and ignored his health and medication. His house help called me and when I went to his apartment it was in a mess. At that time he said 'Elsie is right for blaming me on my mother's death."'
Leaning back in his chair he continued, "His dad Arthur, who never says a word in his son's favour is equally responsible in all this."
"So what can I do to lessen his pain?" Lilly asked.
Joseph smiled at Lilly's question.
"The good news is that after meeting you Ashton has changed and he has started to care for himself. Earlier he didn't have much trust in life. I used to think his only motive in life was to make money and more money." he laughed and then continued, "But after meeting you he started to change for the positive. After Sebastian's death, he once again had started drinking. He drank to a point that he collapsed and was admitted to the hospital. I felt like he even lost his motive to earn money.
But then he came to know about Samuel and I thought Samuel would become someone to play the key role in his treatment. Though I was not sure how he would look after the child. The news of his brother's son gave him new hope. A month later his marriage I started to see him smile often. He looked happy. It was then that I realised it was not Sam but you, Lilly who had brought this change in him. The once sullen Ashton King would smile during the entire time when he would talk about you. So I guess you can be of great help in all this."
"Isn't he suffering from uncomplicated PTSD? I mean according to my research that is the easy form of PTSD which can be treated."
Joseph smiled kindly at her efforts as he said, "That's why we are a bit lucky in his case. The nightmares will persist until and unless the things that trigger him are completely removed or he forgets that tragic part of his life. But we both know that's not possible. I can prescribe him some medicine to ease his pain but more than that it's your love and acceptance that can help him the most. He is not ready to forgive himself or understand that he isn't responsible for his mother's death because that's been ingrained in his mind since he was a child."
At that moment Lilly so wished she could just somehow go back in time and save him from this agony.
"A few things that I would need you to remember if you want to help him." The doctor continued, "Humans are possessive of those they love and care for. People who suffer from PTSD are highly possessive of their loved ones because they are always scared of losing that care and attention. There will be days when you would feel like he is being too possessive of you. So much so that you would want to take a break from him but since his treatment has started in the early stages and he has learnt how to control his emotions so we have some hope. Your most advantageous point is that he listens to you.
When he has enough trust in you that you would not leave him like others then maybe things will go a bit easy for you. There might be times when he would want you to stay in front of his eyes. When he'd want you to tell him where you are and with whom. It may make you feel as if a chain has been tied to your ankles and you can't move freely but if you act calm and composed and try to make him understand that you are with him, make him learn to trust people especially trust you then I'm sure things will go easy for you. You made him lower his guard. You succeeded in touching his heart and I must say it's really impressive how you both have progressed so far. You would need all your wits around you because at times he would act like a child and then become the mature person the next second. He'd make you laugh one second and then become a solemn thinker who'd stare into a wall the next second. It's hard to love people with PTSD but I'm sure you and Ashton can make it work. You just need time, patience and trust."
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This chapter went longer than expected but I wanted you all to understand Ashton's condition a little. So this was needed.🙃
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