"Austin please-"
"Answer me." I gritted my teeth as I spoke, my voice low and gruff as I tried my best to control my fuming temper.
Lena hung her head just barely, her eyes narrowing to her fingernails that she was nervously picking at. The color had returned to her face a little too well as she was now flushed a deepened red and her expression was unreadable as she finally raised her head to meet mine. Her eyes were full of regret as she blinked slowly and her voice was full of pain as she finally mustered the strength to speak.
"I'm your girl."
Her hushed words single handedly crushed my heart deeper into my chest, confirming my suspicion that I had been terribly overlooking only because I didn't want to believe that the woman of my dreams had been deceiving me this entire time.
Deep down, there was a realization in my gut that struck me with a sudden force and I began to connect all of the pieces of the puzzle that hadn't seemed to make sense before.
How was I so blind? It was clear as fucking day now that I was able to step back and look at the bigger picture.
I finally understood why I felt so drawn to her, why I held such a deep connection to her, why I had no hesitation to let myself fall for her like the love sick fool I was.
I was overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions and I didn't know where to begin.
I felt angry, betrayed, confused, upset, and worst of all, I was hurt.
The rate of my breathing had quadrupled as my chest heaved in a see saw motion, my eyes fixed on the woman that was solely responsible for my frazzled state of mind.
I want to yell at the top of my lungs with how frustrated I felt but I knew I had to keep my emotions at bay and handle myself in a calm manner. I sucked in a much needed breath before I spilled my bottled up feelings, my heart slamming against my rib cage as I spoke.
"You lied to me."
I could barely recognize my strained voice as I heard the sound come from the base of my throat, my fingers running stressfully through my hair.
"Austin let me-"
"You've been lying to me since the day of my accident. Since the day I met you. How could you do this? I trusted you." I shook my head as I cut her off, in wild disbelief that she had been hiding this huge secret from me.
"Fuck, Lena." I mumbled more to myself than to her as my mind bounced from each corner of the room.
"Every single time I see you, I'm hoping and praying that I don't come off as a fucking idiot. I've been putting myself out there, doing anything and everything to impress you, so that you would like me. And this whole time, I've been oblivious to the fact that I'm already your boyfriend. I feel like such a fucking fool."
Her eyes sharply cut from mine, her gaze drifting back downwards as if she couldn't bear to look in my eyes any longer.
The anger was pumping furiously in my veins and I knew the best thing for me to do in the moment was to walk away and cool down, even if it meant leaving things unsaid for the time being.
"I can't do this right now." I breathed, pushing off from the bed and making it my determination to leave Lena's bedroom without taking a second look at her. Because I knew if I only glanced over my shoulder, this woman would only make me weak in the knees and forget any ounce of distress the minute I looked back at her face.
"Austin."
Her voice croaked as I made my way to the door, my back still facing her as I turned the knob.
"I'm sorry."
Her apology sunk its claws into me, almost dragging me back into the room, but I clenched my jaw as her sorrowful words played in my head and I pushed my way out of her bedroom.
I made my way down the hall to my own room, storming through my door, straight towards my bedside table. I snatched the half empty pack of Camels from the table top, along with my black lighter.
I hurriedly exited my room, jogging down the steps as I placed a cigarette between my two lips. I flicked the lighter a few times before I finally got a spark, and I inhaled the satisfying smoke into my stifling lungs.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." I grumbled under my breath as I reached the bottom of the staircase, noticing that Lena and I weren't the only ones awake.
"Austin."
The sound of Chris's voice only enraged me further as he leaned against my kitchen counter, sipping on a steaming cup of coffee as he glistened with sweat.
"You're up early. The rain finally let up. I just finished my 2 mile morning run. Can't get my day started without it."
He held a certain arrogance in his voice, as if he were talking down to me in some way.
I said nothing as I puffed away on my cigarette, the nicotine coursing through my veins solely preventing me from strangling him with my free hand.
"So Lena wasted no time crawling into your bed huh?" He immediately brought up the woman that was single handedly running my mind in circles.
"Don't talk about her." I seethed, in no mood what so ever for his nonsense as I crushed my cigarette furiously into the ashtray sitting along the top of my counter.
"A little touchy this morning boss? Sleeping with Lena seems to have woken you up on the wrong side of the bed." He chuckled. "Man, she sure is a screamer though, woke me up out of the deepest sleep."
I instantaneously lunged at him, grabbing him by the collars of his shirt while knocking the cup of coffee from his hands, allowing it crash and spill onto the floor of the kitchen.
"I said don't fucking talk about her." I growled, ready as ever to release my built up emotions onto him once and for all.
"You know that wasn't the first time you fucked her right? She's been spreading her legs for you ever since we hired her." The sickening smirk on his face only riling me up further.
"Austin!"
Chris and I both turned our heads towards the end of the staircase, seeing Lena standing at the bottom of the steps.
Her eyes were puffy and red as she stood before us, an faded long sleeved Beerbongs and Bentleys tee shirt draping her body which I recognized as my own.
"W-what is going here?"
"Lena, please stay out of this. This is between Chris and I." I said, turning my attention back to Chris as I saw Lena rush over to us from the corner of my eye.
"Austin please, let him go. He's not worth it." She pleaded, grasping onto my forearm as she attempted to pull me off of him.
"You heard your slut, let me go."
Lena instantly took a step back, releasing me from her grip, almost as if she knew what my next move was going to be. And she couldn't have been more right.
I tightened my grasp onto Chris's shirt, swinging his body with full force and slamming his back against the wall. I strenuously pulled back my arm with my hand curled into a fist, and effortlessly let go, allowing my knuckles to collide with his jaw as I struck him with a thundering aggression.
I finally let him go, watching him sink to the ground as he clutched onto the side of his face, the smug smirk that he once held now wiped clean from his mouth.
"You're fired Chris. Get the fuck out of my house."
My chest was heaving with adrenaline as he struggled to pick himself off the ground, his hand cradling his jaw as glared at me. His gaze shifted to Lena as he began to shake his head from side to side.
"3 years I've worked for you. 3 years I've busted my ass to get you where you are. 3 years I've been your friend Austin. And just like that its gone. All because of some pussy."
Just as I opened my mouth to shoot back a slick reply, my gaze slanted to Lena, who was chuckling softly to herself.
"Chris, are you going to act like you weren't trying so fucking hard to have sex with me? And did you forget the way you were pathetically pouting the entire tour because I chose Austin over you? How you lied and told Natalie that Austin was interested in her just to get in between us? How you made up stories to the media that Austin was driving drunk the day of his accident?You have done nothing but treat him like shit and you never deserved to be a part of this team. You aren't his friend. You never were. You heard him, get the fuck out of his house."
Chris said nothing as the kitchen became silent, his glare darting back and forth from me to Lena. He turned on his heels, dragging his slouched figure to the foyer, and disappearing out of the front door.
Lena and I stood still for all of two seconds before she opened one of the drawers of my island, pulling out a medium sized ziploc bag before she made her way to the freezer door. She fill the bag nearly full with ice cubes before she slowly stalked her way back to me, taking my hand in hers and gently pressing the makeshift ice pack to my brusing knuckles.
Her newfound silence made me take a much needed halt on my lengthy spiel of frustration towards her. Letting out some steam and taking it out on Chris had surely been an outlet for my emotions as I finally took a long second to study the expression on Lena's beautiful face. Of course the pained look of guilt she still held immediately twisted my heart in endless circles as she just barely puckered her bottom lip.
But her hiding our entire relationship from me was not something I could just forgive, right? Regardless of her reasoning, she should have been honest with me. But instead she kept me in the dark from truth and simply pretended as if nothing had ever happened between us.
"How long?" I couldn't help but ask with curiosity, wondering when exactly we became involved with each other.
She sucked in a breath before she answered, her eyes averted to the ground as she stubbornly avoided my gaze.
"You asked me to make things official the day before the accident." She mumbled quietly, no longer fighting to defend herself.
"But I was your girl long before that."
Her voice was small and trembled and my hardened expression began to fade the longer I looked at her angelic face.
She looked tired. Defeated even, as if she had been fighting this treacherous battle of keeping this secret from me. As if she had been carrying this heavy burden on her shoulders from the second she learned I had lost my memories of her.
"Lena."
Her name left my lips with a softness as my free hand reached to tilt her chin upwards. But her gaze refused to lock with my own as I watched tears begin to brim along her lash line.
"Angel."
I muttered the sweet pet name that always seemed to get her attention, her watery eyes finally slanting to meet mine.
"I'm sorry Austin. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you." She began to horribly sob as her body trembled, her tears acting as a knife, stabbing repeatedly into my chest.
"Lee come here." I took her hand in mine, and slowly led her into the living room, sinking down into the couch as I placed my hands at her hips, pulling her down next to me.
"I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm a terrible girlfriend."
She went on, tears spilling from her eyes as she quietly whimpered, her bottom lip quivering as she spoke. I pulled her into my lap, her cries giving me a sudden change of heart as I realized there was no way in hell I could stay mad at this girl. My girl.
"Shh baby. Stop, you're not a terrible girlfriend. You're anything but terrible Lena." I cooed, wanting nothing but to soothe her tears and take away the pain from her voice. I gently rubbed her back underneath her shirt, the comfort of my touch seemingly beginning to calm her down.
"I am terrible Austin. I lied to you about us, about what we really are to each other. All I wanted was for you to remember. I didn't want to tell you how to feel about me. I just- I wanted you to feel it on your own."
"Look at me." I pulled my hand from beneath her shirt and cupped the side of cheek.
"I understand why you did it, why you kept it from me.. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to carry this around with you every single day. To stand by and watch me treat you like a complete stranger when we have all of this history between us. But I've fallen for you not only once, but twice Lena. And that goes to show that we have between us is stronger than anything in this world." I softly pecked her lips, her cries finally subsiding as I held her close in my embrace.
"I did feel it on my own angel. You've made feel like I'm able to breath underwater. Like I'm falling through the air while my two feet are flat on the ground. Like I'm dreaming except I'm wide fucking awake. You've made me feel Lena."
I leaned my forehead flush against hers, my thumb sweeping away every tear that attempted to tumble down her face.
"Forever my groupie, always my girl."