Blood Gulch/Blue Base
Church was busy admiring the motorcycle (The Ghost), and the warthog after getting it from the reds while Shadow was standing with them.
Church: "Look at this Sheila, this, is a thing, of beauty, what I have here. I am amazed."
Sheila: "Whatever."
Church: "We have got every single vehicle in this canyon. We are unstoppable. This is- I have my own fleet. I have my own fleet of cars."
Shadow: "Lucky you,"
Sheila: "Three vehicles and only one guy to drive them. Big deal."
Church: "No the important thing is that they don't have any vehicles to... hey is there a problem here?"
Sheila: "Problem? Why would there be a problem?"
Church: "Ah-sh-e-a, I don't know. You just seem uh... you know... agitated."
Sheila: "You think I'm agitated."
Church: Well uh- I- I didn't mean, well I- I didn't mean-
Sheila: "No, it was your word. Agitated. You said "You sure seem agitated, Sheila." So I guess that means I'm agitated. Don't I seem agitated, Church?"
Shadow: "Uh..." She slowly walks back.
Church: "I'm just, I'm just saying you seem a little, upset."
Sheila: "Oh- so now I'm upset. Which is it Church, am I agitated or am I upset?"
Church: "I don't, I mean I don't really- I could, I could go get a dictionary."
Sheila: "Why would I be upset?"
Church: "Uh, I don't-"
Sheila: "Well, would you be upset if I got a bunch more blue guys to come hang around and help me?"
Church: "Well actually there, are, three other guys on the squad."
Shadow: "Four if you count me."
Sheila: "Exactly. This isn't a parking lot Church, it's a team, a family. Are we just supposed to forget everything we've been through?"
Church: "Right, including the time that you killed me."
Sheila: "How about, if I suddenly decided, I wasn't the Blue team's tank? What if today, I'm feeling just a little bit red."
Church: "They're just cars, Sheila."
Shadow: "I don't think that was the right choice of words."
Sheila: "I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that."
Church: "Hey is there like a... jealousy, setting, somewhere on you that I can you know... turn off?"
Sheila: "Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Snow Temple
Crunch Bite was holding the Andy during the battle
Andy: "Tucker, use the key and open the gate!"
Tucker: Key, what key? I don't have a key!
Crunch Bite: "Wharrh."
Andy: "Your sword! Use the sword!"
Tucker: "Oh God, the sword is a key? Just when I thought this couldn't get any lamer."
Tucker strikes the hologram with the key, opening the gate to reveal a vehicle.
Tucker: "What is that thing?"
Crunch Bite: "Blarg blarg, blarg blarrgh!"
Andy: "The ship!? What ship? No-one told me about a ship! Hey, come back here ya stink nugget!"
Crunch Bite: "Wharg, whargh!"
The Alien jumps in the ship and takes off.
Random Zealot: "Get them!"
Tex and Ash jump off the base and looks up at the ship.
Ash: "Hey, what's that thing!? Where's he going?"
Andy: "I don't know! He just kept saying, "There it is, there it is!"
Tex: "I thought you said there was no reward at the end of the quest."
Andy: "I didn't know!"
Tucker: "If you're pissed about that, wait until you find out that this sword, is really a key."
Ash: "A what?!
Tex: "Andy..."
Andy: "Hey don't blame me, I'm just the translator!"
Caboose: "Um, I think the Alien is coming back."
The Alien lines up the Blues in the sights of the ship.
Caboose: "Bad Alien! Go away!"
Tucker: "Uh oh."
Tex: "Get down!"
Ash: "Incoming!"
Tucker, Ash, and Tex move, revealing a red Zealot.
Red Zealot: "What?"
The Alien kills the red Zealot with the ship's weapons.
Red Zealot: "Ohoh, hurk blarg."
Caboose: "Ohhh, he wasn't coming to kill us. He was saving us. That's a good Alien."
Tex: "Well, a deal's a deal, he owes me that ship. Andy, tell him to bring that thing down here and-"
A rocket hits the ship, destroying it.
Crunch Bite: "Blarg!"
Andy: "You still want me to tell him?" He asked amused while laughing. "'Cause, I think it's down already."
Wyoming: "Tex!"
Tex: "Wyoming?"
Caboose: "Connecticut!"
Tucker: "They're not playing a game, Caboose."
Caboose: "Well, if they were, I woulda totally won."
Wyoming: "Well it appears I've spoiled your little game. So sorry chums."
Tex: "That was my ship."
Wyoming: "Oh dear, then I stand corrected: I'm not sorry."
Tex: "You're gonna pay for that."
Wyoming: "All out of change at the moment. Get you next time. Cheerio!"
Tex: "Get back here!"
Wyoming runs off, and Tex chases him but stops when Ash grabs her hand.
Ash: "you're going after him?"
Tex: "Yes. Don't worry, I'll be back. And..." she trailed off as she leaned in and whispered something only Ash could hear. When she was finished, he blushed a deep red and nodded. The two then gave each other a hug.
Ash: "Be safe Tex."
Tex: "See you Soon Ash."
Tucker: "Huh, that didn't go quite the way I expected. You think we should wait for her to come back? Or finish the quest on our own? Or just go home?"
Trumpets suddenly play.
Zealots: "Charge!"
Tucker: "Yeah, let's go home."
Blood Gulch
Church and Shadow find Simmons crying in Blue Base.
Church: "You okay there, blue guy?"
Simmons: "I'm fine, I-I told you it's just allergies."
Church: "Oh yeah?
Shadow: "You know, I've never heard someone say boo hoo hoo when they sneezed."
Simmons: "I'm fine."
Church: "Good, well then now I can give you your orders. Um, first of all that jeep out there is really dirty, and I think that-"
Simmons: "What, why're you giving me orders?"
Church: "Uh, because, that's the way the Blue team works?"
Simmons: "Technically, you're the new guy. I should be telling you what to do."
Shadow: "Uh how would that make sense if he's from the past? Cause technically, he was here first."
Church: "Yes. Thank you Shadow. And uh, I don't think so new guy, see back in the day, uhh the way this worked was Command would call me, and give me the orders and then I would pass them along to everybody else. 'Kay, it works like this, I would get on my radio like this and I'd say, uh, uh "Come in Blue Command, come in, this is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read me?" And then normally this uh, really annoying guy would come back and he would say-"
Vic: "Hello, hello, come in, hello."
Shadow: "Wow, that was a pretty good impression. "
Simmons: "Yeah. Can you do Arnold Schwarzenegger? "Ah'll be bahck."
Church: "That wasn't me. Uh, hello?"
Vic: "Hello, come in Blood Gulch, can you hear me, hello, try the veal, hello."
Church: "What? V- Vic? Is that you? It's been eight hundred years, how have you survived so long?"
Vic: "Oh no way dude, Vic's dead. This is Vic's great great great great great great great great-" The 'great' part keeps playing for a bit."
Simmons: "'Asta la vista, baby!"
Church: "Shut-up dude, I'm on the phone"
Vic: "-great great great great great great great great great great grandson... Vic Junior."
Church: "And you work- and you work with Blue Command?"
Vic: "Hoh right dude, good one dude, "Blue Command." Wink!"
Church: "Wait a minute, what, wait, what does that mean? What does that mean, does- is the war over? Did we win?"
Vic: "Dude, I got a lot to catch you up on."