We were all sat up in Erins room studying for the upcoming history test. Well, some people where studying, me and Michelle were sharing a bottle of Pernod that she brought along, While Erin was crying over a photo of Toto, her recently deceased dog. "It's so sad, it really is. It is so, so sad. But at the same time whats done is done, so let's crack on." Clare said, looking like an absolute wreck. "Well I'm sorry, Clare. Has his sudden, tragic death interrupted your studies?" Erin had a go at the sleep deprived girl. Clare nodded "it has a bit, actually, yeah".
Erin looked shocked "how can you be so heartless?" She asked Clare. "Don't cry, Erin. He's in a better place now. Unless he's not, you know, because unless he's gone to hell" Orla said to our cousin.
"Aye Erin, He'll be grand I bet" I tried to reassure the girl. "Can we please talk about something else?" Michelle asked "I'm half torn. This is wrecking my head." She continued, causing me to nod along with her. "What? Have you been drinking?" Erin asked Michelle, causing me to giggle from my position on James lap. "Yes, I have, but so's she" The curly haired girl responded while pointing to me. "Which by the way, talking about you, what's up? You've been cuddled up to him all night as if you'd die if you left him. You a thing now aye?" Michelle angrily asked me. "No Michelle we ain't, it's just here is more comfortable then the floor aye?" I told the girl truthfully. Not fully knowing what me and James class as after our kiss. "Right, and for future reference, if any of you invite me to a study sleepover again, and I'm desperate enough to accept the invitation, there's a good chance I'll have a litre bottle of Pernod in my bag." Michelle told Erin. "I shouldn't even have to sit the exam, on, you know, compassionate grounds." Erin said, acting sad. "He was a dog, Erin!" Clare shouted, throwing her now empty energy drink can on the floor. "Toto was much more than a dog. Toto was my best friend!" Erin told Clare. "Christ I feel a bit bokey." Michelle said. "You can't ever hold your drink Michelle, what have I told you?" I said giggling, knowing full well that she drank a lot more than me. Michelle pulled back the curtains, much to Clares shock.
"Sweet suffering Jesus. It's the morning already? What are we gonna do" Clare said, going into panic. "Maybe we could start with calming the fuck down." Michelle told her. "Calm down? We're still on William of Orange! We haven't so much looked at the famine!" Clare shouted. "We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging" Michelle simply explained, causing me to nod in agreement. "Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings" James told everyone, making me look up at him. "And whose faults that? If your lot stopped invading us for five fucking minutes, there'd be a lot less to Wade through, you English prick." Michelle shouted at him, causing me to giggle again, and him to playfully push me off his lap in mock sadness. "Nothings going in, nothing is going in. Every time I try to make notes, it..." Clare started while holding her hand up, watching it shake vigorously. "What's happening to me" Clare whispered, as if she was being over taken by an alien. "There's quite a lot of Caffeine in those, Clare. How many of them have you had?" James questioned her. "I don't know. Five? Twenty-three?" Clare responded, chucking what looked to be her nineteenth can into the pile. Michelle laughed, "we are all so fucked" before we all headed downstairs for breakfast.
Granda Joe offered us all more food, but when Gerry asked for another cup of tea, he was refused. James then walked in to the kitchen, doing his tie up, causing me to smile at him. "You stay over too? Son." Joe questioned him. "Yes I did. That's correct sir" James said to my grandad, which made me laugh at how formal he was being. "What? In your room?" He questioned me. "No Granda, in Erins" I told him, not knowing why he'd think we were in mine, considering it's the smallest. "Have you nothing to say about this, you slack southern shite?" Grandpa Joe then shouted at Gerry, causing me to jolt back. "Look love, I know the fellas gay" Granda Joe started, looking towards me. "I'm not gay." James told him. "But gay or not..." Grandpa Joe started to walk towards James. "Who said I was gay?" The young lad asked. "He's still a fella... I've seen the way he looks at our Caoimhe. There's still a good chance that he's a rapist" Granda Joe finished, causing me to spit some of my drink out. "I mean no offence son" Grandpa Joe finished, leaving my jaw wide open.
Mary walked in the back door with a shovel in hand. "Well that's done." She said. "God rest his wee soul" Grandpa Joe said, walking away from James. "Ach, don't talk to me. I was in bits last night. Didn't even manage my Chinese. Poor, Tonto." Sarah said from her position behind a very uncomfortable looking James. "Toto. His name was Toto, Aunt Sarah" Erin corrected her. "Aye, nightmare so it is. Da, do us a bacon butty, would you? My stomach thinks my throats cut here." Sarah asked Grandpa Joe. "Surely love" he said to her.
"Jesus, the pets are getting it left right and centre at the minute. Maureen Malarkey's Tigger passed away." Gerry said, reading the paper. Granda Joe slammed the pan onto the cooker. "We do not utter that woman's name in this house."
Grandpa Joe said dead seriously. "Ach, Da, not the Bingo thing still" Aunt Mary told her dad. "She's a cheating old bitch." Joe said. "How can you cheat at bingo? Granda?" Erin asked him. "Her nephew brought her this pen back from New Jersey. It changes the numbers. I'm telling you, it's witchcraft, Mary." Granda said seriously, much to Mary's disapproval. "We'll hear no more about the magic pen." Mary told him, before turning to the table.
"Now come on, girls, eat up. You'll need all your energy for the big exam." She told us, cashing Clare to whisper "we'll need a miracle for the big exam."
"Mammy, what happened to Toto, it's just hit me so hard, and I'm worried it might affect my performance." Erin told Aunt Mary, in hopes of getting out of the Exam. "Come here, love." Mary extended her arm out to her daughter. "Look, if you fail the exam, I promise you, there'll be a nice wee plot out there with your name on it." She told her child, causing me to laugh out loud at the fact Erin thought she got away with it. Mary then hit me upside the head, causing me to rub the sore area. "Same goes for you too, Caoimhe" she told me, making me nod.
We were all walking to school as Erin was telling us her plan to call child line, making me sigh at her over dramatics as Michelle informed us about how we're all gonna fail. As we reached the top of the road, there was a car pulled over being searched, while some army men were stroking a dog. "Doesn't that dog look like Toto?" Erin questioned the group. "I suppose it does a bit, yeah" James agreed, while Orla shook her head. "Looks exactly like him." Erin carried on. "Here boy! Come here boy! Here, boy!" Erin then ran over in the direction of the dog, causing us to all chase the dog that eventually led us to a church and ran inside.
"Where did he go?" Erin asked, concerned. "I don't really give a flying fuck. Michelle shouted back at her. As she said that, The old women in the church turned around, slowly facing us. "Oh shit, it's Maureen Malarkey" I whispered under my breath. "Listen you." She said to me and Erin, while everyone else tried to run and hide. "Yes Mrs Malarkey?" Erin asked sweetly. "You give that grandfather of yours a message from me." She said while speedily walking down the centre isle, before grabbing me by the blazer, making me look her in the eye. "You tell him to keep his bloody mouth shut about my pen!" She shouted at me. "Okay" Erin told her submissively, while gently trying to make the crazy old lady let go of me. When she finally released me from her hold, she stormed over and into the confessional box. Just before she entered, however, she turned around, "And I want my baking tray back!" She shouted, before slamming the door shut.
Michelle took a few steps forward. "Of course" she said, facing toward the front of the church, causing me to follow her gaze, landing on a hopeful Clare, praying to mother Mary. "Trying to butter up the big women." Michelle commented, before we all started walking over to her. "Ohhh now you'll definitely pass." Erin mocked the short girl. "It was worth a try!" Clare shouted back at her, making us all come to a realisation. I knelt down in front of Marys statue, placing my hands together in prayer. As I was halfway through my prayer, I heard Clare gasp.
"Oh, my God!" She exclaimed. "What is it?" Erin asked the question we were all wondering. "She. She... I saw it with my own eyes." Clare stuttered. "Saw what?" Erin asked again "She smirked!" Clare revealed to us. "Who? Big M?" Michelle asked the shocked girl. "Aye. She just smirked at me" Clare repeated. "Are you sure you didn't just-" Erin started, only to be interrupted by Michelle. "Jesus! Me too. She just smirked at me too!" Michelle exclaimed. "Why would she reveal herself to you? Michelle? You haven't believed in her since you were five?" I questioned, only to once again, be ignored. "Why isn't she smirking at me?" James enquired. "She isn't smirking at anyone, James." Erin told the English boy. "I just saw it too!" Orla revealed. "Aww, I want to see it" I said, huffing. Causing James to wrap his arm round my shoulder in support. "The holy smirk, thanks be to God!" Orla finished saying. "You're imagining it." Erin told the girls. "Three of us saw it. How do you explain that?" Michelle questioned the doubtful girl. "Sleep deprivation" Erin started while pointing at Clare. "Pernod" she continued while pointing at Michelle. "Delusional personality disorder" she said, while finally pointing at Orla. Just after she finished talking, a dog barked from upstairs, leaving no time for Michelle's come back before Erin was running off shouting for the Toto look alike.
"Okay, let's do it together" Michelle said to us, before making us look away from the statue. "Right so on three. One. Two. Three." She finished as we all turned around. Gasps where heard all around. The statue of mother Mary was weeping. Actually weeping. "No way" Michelle said, causing Erin to run down and look at the crying statue. "She's crying Erin. She's crying real tears" Clare told the girl in disbelief. Erin muttered something incomprehensible in response. "I said we needed a miracle and behold, we have been given one." Clare told the group. "This isn't a miracle Clare" Erin said in denial. "The exam Erin" Clare told the girl. "Fuck the exam!" Michelle exclaimed. "This is huge Clare." "Do you really think they'll make us sit the exam after seeing this?"Michelle revealed. "You may have a point" Erin agreed with the curly haired girl. "Of course I have a point. We are the mother fucking children of Fatima people!" Michelle shouted, over joyed. I grabbed James hand and jumped up and down, over excited at the fact we witnessed a miracle and would get out of our exam.
We eventually made it to school and went straight to sister Michaels office. "Could you put me through to sister Thomas? Please?" Tommy!" Sister Michael said on the phone. Clearly friends with the nun on the other side. "How are you? Yeah not too bad. On retreat?" She was saying, after tutting into the phone. "I don't know. I have judo on Friday, I don't like to miss it." She told the other women. I leaned up to Michelle's ear "imagine Sister Michael in one of those silly little Judo suits" I whispered to the girl, while she pretended to fake gag. "Don't even go there, Caoimhe." She whispered back. "If I ever saw that, I'd gauge my eyes out with a fork." I finished whispering to her as Sister Michael finished talking to the nun on the phone. "Sister? Priest is here." A lady walked into the room to tell her. "Yeah I'll call you back." Sister Michael told the women on the phone before standing up. "Just a Moment, ladies." She said while walking to the door. Michelle did a mini clap before Erin turned to all of us. "Listen Girls, i didn't really think beyond the exam, Or us getting out of doing it. Before this goes any further. Before we talk to this priest, there is something you need to know-" Erin got cut off by the door opening and Sister Michael inviting the priest in.
Holy shit.
"Fuck Me" Michelle said aloud. "I wouldn't mind if he were to fuck me aye?" I responded to her. "I like his shiny hair" Orla said, getting James to agree with her. "So do I. I really like his shiny hair." James said.
"What where you saying Erin?" Clare asked, weirdly unaffected by the smoking hot man that had just walked in, causing me to look at her weirdly. "Nothing. Ignore me. Forget it" Erin told the girl, not taking her eyes of the priest. "Hello, Children." He said in a deep voice. "Holy fuck" I whispered. Before responding "Hello, Father" with the rest of the group. "Please, call me Peter" he said to us, causing sister Michael to roll her eyes. He made his way to the desk and sat down in front of me, causing me to pull my skirt up my thighs a little bit. I caught James watching me do so, before I winked at him, then turning back to the priest.
"This is just going to be a very relaxed, informal chat. I don't want you to think of me as a priest. Think of me as a friend. Look.." The priest told us before taking his neck collar off. I gasped. "Just like you now." He said, undoing his top button, causing sister Michael to, once again, roll her eyes "dose" she whispered. "So, before we begin, do you guys have any questions for me?" He asked. We all raised our hands. "Is that your real eye colour? Or are they contacts?" Erin asked first. "These are my real eyes" the priest replied with. "Anyone else?" He asked. James raised his hand. Causing him to nod in his direction. "Is that a firm-hold gel you're using?" James asked cutely. "It's a mousse" Peter responded. "And where do you??" James pressured him on. "Hair and flair" the priest entertained. "Oh I didn't realise-" James started, only to have his sentenced finished by the man of the hour. "-they do a men's range, yes. Anyone else?" He enquired. Making Michelle just beat me to a hand raise. "Have you ever done any Modeling?" She asked. "No" she quietly said. I shot my hand up, really curious about the answer to my awaiting question. He nodded at me. "I know your a priest and all..." I started, suddenly nervous about my question. "...but have you ever, you know, had se-" I started to ask before both Erins and Michelle's hands where slammed over my mouth.
The priest laughed lightly. "Does anyone have any questions about what happened in the church this morning?" He asked, swiftly moving on after Michelle and Erin removed their hands from in front of my mouth. All of us admitted that we had no questions on the matter. "So you claim you saw our Blessed Lady's features change. Is that right?" He started off. "The Virgin Mother smirked at us, Peter. That is correct." Orla told him. "I see. And after that. The statue, well, you claim it started weeping." He carried on. "Your using the word 'claim' a lot there, Peter." Clare pointed out."Girls, I'm not here to make any judgements. I'm just trying to get the truth" he said honestly. "You think we're lying don't you?" Clare accused the man. "No of course not" he told the smaller girl. "I do" sister Michael whispered to herself again. "But sometimes we want to believe in something so much that we willingly deceive ourselves. I know I've been guilty of that in the past. I wanted a sign so badly that it drove me to distraction, because it is the question we all want the answer to, isn't it?" He said. "I mean does God exist?" He continued "I mean does he exist? Does he? Or is your whole world built on a lie, Peter?" The priest creepily murmured to himself before James caught his attention by saying his name. "Peter?" He said, only to receive a quick "yeah" and a short laugh from the priest.
"Directly before the weeping, can you remember what you where doing, what you were talking about?" The priest questioned. "I remember that James was being a dick" Michelle told him, only to be told off by Sister Michael. "I don't like to use that word ,sister. But it's so hard to describe James any other way cause, well, he's just such a dick." Michelle defended herself, causing the nun to agree with her. "I don't think you're a dick James." The priest told the boy. "And do you know who else doesn't think you're a dick? Our Lord" he finished off causing me to giggle. "How do you know our lord doesn't think he's a dick?" Michelle questioned the man. "Our Lord doesn't think anyone's a dick" Peter responded. "Highly unlikely" I told him at the same time Michelle told him that she "very much doubts that." He looked at us both before saying "well it's the truth".
We were all gathered in a circle around him, quizzing him on people we thought the Lord thinks is a dick. "Marti Pellow?" Michelle asked. Only to receive a short no. "Paddy Ashdown?" She continued. Another No in response . "Your man from Fun House." She asked again. "Pat Sharp?" Clare told her. "Pat Sharp. Pat Sharps definitely a dick." Michelle pressed. Earning a quiet "okay" from the priest. "The five of you attending chapel, praying together, would that be a typical morning?" He asked. "Very good" Michelle laughed, much to the priests surprise. "He's not joking Michelle" Erin told the girl. "Oh" she replied with, embarrassed. "Christ fuck no. We were just following that stupid dog." Michelle told the man.
"I'm sorry?" He questioned. "The dog has nothing to do with anything." Erin quickly diverted. "See, Erins dog died recently, and she saw a dog that looked like him a bit." Clare told Peter. "The dogs irrelevant" Erin said quietly. "So we Followed him for a while-" Clare continued. "The dog and the statue are unrelated" Erin insisted. "And he led us to the chapel." Clare finished. "The dog led you to the chapel?" The priest tried to clarify. "Aye, he ran us right there, bloody long run that is you know?" I told the priest making it clear to him that the dog forced us to run to the chapel. "The dog isn't important" Erin tried again. "Maybe it is. What if this dog you saw, Erin, what if it didn't simply look like your dog? What if it actually was your dog?" The priest questioned, causing me to laugh.
"Right, maybe. But, as I think we mentioned, Totos dead. My Ma saw him get hit by an army Land Rover and then buried him in our back garden. So probably not." Erin told him what happened to Toto. The priest got up and walked away from my cousin. He opened the bible. "A beloved animal returning from the dead. Now we've seen this before." He started saying, only to be Interrupted by Orla. "Ohhhh, Ghost dog." She said innocently. "No, not ghost dog. Resurrected dog!" He said seriously, making me laugh. "Don't you see?! Toto was sent back to lead you to that chapel, to that statue! Because you are special Erin. You have been chosen." Peter said to Erin, kneeling down in front of her. I leant my head on James shoulder, pouting "aww, why couldn't I have been the chosen one?" I said jokingly
Erin was breathing heavily "oh Peter, it's all just so overwhelming" she said, looking the priest dead in the eye, causing the Nun behind them to sigh suspiciously.
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3519 words!
So yeah, not too much Caoimhe x James but there'll be a lot more once this episode is done I promise!
Please comment and vote if you liked it! It means a lot <3
But yeah, cya tomorrow!