I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to. I simply wanted to lay there, staring at Harry all night. It felt like a great way to spend my time. He seemed amenable, being that he'd yet to move or even suggest we move.
I balanced my chin on my hand which was splayed out on his chest. His head was rested comfortably in the pillow while his fingers ghosted up and down my bare back. His eyes studied the ceiling.
"What?" I asked. He looked to be so deep in thought.
He looked down,
"Just thinking..." He answered softly.
"About what?" I prodded.
He sighed, his face slightly uncomfortable,
"You're my best friend." His eyes lifted to mine, "You know that, right?"
I felt my heart flutter in my chest but I only nodded in response, too afraid I would cry if I actually allowed sound out of my mouth.
He shook his head as his eyes averted down away from mine,
"If I ever did anything to hurt you...I..."
"Hey..." I said, suddenly more concerned with him than I was for my own emotions, "What is this?"
He sighed, I could see his lip tremble just slightly and then he pulled it together,
"I just..." He met my gaze again, "I love you so much and I just want us to always be able to talk to each other about anything."
I chewed my lip nervously. I always figured my silence on things I was feeling was sparing him the irritation but it seemed I was quite misguided,
"I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you about how insecure I was feeling." I shrugged, "Maybe if I had been this never would've happened."
He shook his head,
"I'm not blaming you for anything."
"No, I know." I paused, "But I should've told you I wasn't...altogether...comfortable."
He rested a hand against my cheek,
"I want you to know something. You are my priority. No song, no concert, no movie...nothing will ever be more important than you."
Should I have been cautious? I wasn't. I felt like all the awkward relationships, all the mistakes, all the issues I'd had led me to this point where it all finally made sense.
I wanted to tell him everything. But I had to pace myself,
"I got the job." I whispered.
He immediately smiled,
"I knew you would."
"I start in two weeks."
He quirked his brows,
"Any plans before then?"
I pushed myself up to press my lips to his making it well known just what my plans for the next two weeks were.
----------------------
Leaving Harry had been harder than I ever imagined it would be. The two weeks we were together in France were like something out of a dream. Harry even invited my parents to the set so they could be a part of it. My father was beside himself, firing questions like an excited kid at a museum.
While he was at the set, I traipsed around the city taking pictures. I wanted to make sure I was firing on all cylinders when I saw Margot again. When I got back to London, I went straight to my dark room to get to work.
I would not be disappointed. The pictures I'd taken were breathtaking. I tapped Harry's number on my phone for a quick facetime. He answered before even the first ring was done,
"My love..." He said with a wide smile.
"Are you ready to witness my brilliance?" I asked.
He chuckled,
"Is one ever ready for the brilliance you provide?"
I held up one of my pictures. I heard him gasp. I poked my head out from behind it,
"Good?"
"Baby..." He breathed, "It's amazing. Can you make it bigger?"
I nodded as I looked down at the photograph,
"Sure...but Margot needs them a certain-"
"Not for Margot." He interrupted, "I would like it...for me. Would look great in the front room don't you think?"
I felt tears sting my nose,
"Yeah." I answered, "I do think."
----------------------
"So you're all in love now?" Dori asked as she made her way through Harry's kitchen.
"Yes, what are you looking for?"
"Dinner. I wanted to make you something special before your first day." She let out a frustrated sigh, "But your lover can't cooperate. There's no food in this house."
"Because he's not here." I reasoned with her.
"But you are."
She was right. Since I'd come back from France I hadn't really gone back to the flat I shared with her.
She waved her hand,
"Let's go out...are you feeling Italian?"
I stopped her as she walked past me,
"Hey." I said as I pulled her back to face me. I reached over to take her hands in mine, "I never thanked you."
She scoffed,
"I know."
I chuckled softly and then I got serious again,
"You've always supported me."
She nodded, squeezing my hands,
"And I always will."
"I know."
She leaned over to kiss my cheek,
"I don't care if you're not feeling Italian...I am." She said as she pulled me towards the door. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?" She asked as I grabbed for my jacket.
I shook my head though I was lying through my teeth,
"No."
She shot me a look,
"Is Harry planning a parade?"
I shot her a look this time,
"No. I said I'd call him when I got home."
She rolled her eyes as we walked out to one of Harry's cars,
"Yeah right. He'll be here with Boyz II Men or something...mark my words."
----------------------
When I got to Margot Barnes the next day, surprisingly, I wasn't nervous. I was calm and kind of content. I had been hired for a reason. Margot thought I had a good eye. I needed to show her I had confidence in myself.
So when she walked out of her office to greet me, I stood up and shook her hand,
"Hello Ms. Barnes."
She smiled,
"Hello Ms. Frank. Did you get everything you needed with our recruitment department?" I nodded. She leaned over, "I hate calling it human resources." She whispered.
It broke the ice between us. It felt like we kind of had an inside joke now. I followed her into her office.
She sat down behind her desk, her hand outstretched to offer me one of the chairs on the other side,
"Alright, well let's discuss my expectations." She took a breath as she leaned her elbows on her desk, "I don't have any."
I was confused and I'm sure my face said it. She laughed,
"Perfect response. I knew you were perfect for this job." She sat back, "I saw your portfolio. I recognize the talent. I don't need to stifle you with rules and hours you need to be here. I don't believe in that for any of my photographers. I expect you to check in with me and if I have a specific job I need you to do, I will let you know. But other than that..." She held her arms out, "Go out and show me the world through your eyes."
I'd been told in the past that Margot had an unconventional management style, I just didn't realize how unconventional it was. I realized this had become my dream job for more than just the fact that I was gonna be able to say I worked here.
I smiled,
"Anything you want specifically?"
She shook her head,
"You have your passwords to your accounts where you can upload your shots...I will check it every few days to see what you've got. If I see something I like I might tell you to give me more. I'll give you my feedback and you can interpret that with your images." She leaned forward, "I want you to push yourself, Sylvie. Show me what you can do. The best photographers in the world worked here...." She gave me a pointed look, "And then they went out on their own."
I stopped. Was she saying what I think she was saying?
"You..." I stopped, "You want me to leave?"
She laughed out loud,
"Well not today. But my goal is to make you too good to work here anymore." Her eyes bored into mine, "I want creativity in the world. And you will pay me back ten fold by doing that." She sat back in her chair, "Do we understand each other?"
Yes.
We most certainly did.
----------------------
I probably scared people on my way home. I was smiling like an idiot. I couldn't stop though. Margot and I spent the day going through all her favorite photographs and all my favorite photographs. She and I were very similar in what we found interesting and I got a good idea of what it was she liked to see. The excitement I felt was foreign to me. I was positive I could deliver what she wanted. Confidence wasn't what I was expecting to leave with, that was for sure.
I parked and hopped out. I couldn't wait to call Harry and tell him about my day.
I could hear pots banging and the water on when I finally got into the house. I was alarmed for a moment. Was someone here?
I poked my head into the doorway of the kitchen, stopping when I saw Harry standing in front of the stove with his back to me.
I gasped, my hand flying over my mouth. Harry whirled around, a huge smile popping up on his face,
"Hello, My Love." He said as he walked towards me.
"What are you doing here?" I barely got out.
He pulled me into his chest,
"Can't actually believe I would miss your first day now..." He said as he pulled away.
I felt tears sting my nose as I looked up at him,
"I can't believe you're here."
He pressed his mouth to mine,
"Just a quick plane ride...and here I am. I have to be back in a couple days."
I pushed my face into his chest.
I was Harry Styles' girlfriend. He loved me. I don't know if I would ever get used to knowing he chose me. But I think that's ok. At least I know I would never take him for granted.
And we would have one helluva great story to tell our grandkids.