19|The Heavy Price Of Power
"You look like a punished kid, Vitty. You can come in." Toby smiled brightly.
I was leaning against the doorframe of his room, playing with the hem of my dress with my guilty gaze riveted to the wooden floor. I ambled towards him, settling down on the chair beside his bed.
"How are you feeling now?" I still couldn't look at him in the eye.
"Have you been crying all night, Vittoria?" He questioned.
"How are you feeling now Toby?"
"I'm good. Oliver is just dramatizing the situation." He chuckled.
"I'm sorry Toby, for yesterday. I overreacted. I know my reaction hurt you. Try to understand Toby, this is not something I witness everyday. I was just shocked I guess."
"Come on now Vitty, no need to apologize. That's the standard protocol with friends." He placed a reassuring hand over mine.
"Friends?" I found myself asking with a hint of a smile.
"Yes, friends." He said as a matter of fact. "Oh wait! I'm more than a friend to you. You have a....holy fuck! You have a crush on me don't you?" He feigned the classic miss universe expression flying his hands to his gaping mouth. "Please tell me you have a crush on me."
I laughed at my melodramatic...friend.
"Friend." I repeated absentmindedly. I had long forgotten the meaning of that word. It almost feels foreign as I say it now.
I never had any friends since a long time. I just had one friend or so I thought. I lost faith in the word after what she did to me. I don't even know who all qualify as friends.
Is it someone we spend most of our time with? Or someone who's always there for you? Or someone who always makes to smile and help forget all your worries when you're with them?
In that case, Toby and Liam are my friends. For the first time, I felt good knowing I had friends.
"You took a leave today?" He asked.
"Yep. I wanted revenge against Liam for making me do all the work on my first day. Can you imagine? It was so much and with that I mean soooo much work. Phew! And then what? I got fired."
"I know right!" He laughed. "You know what? Let's team up and scare Liam tonight. He's shit scared of ghosts."
"I'm so in." We high fived. "Although I find it a little hard to believe that a guy who fights with guns is afraid of ghosts."
"You won't believe but he still sleeps with me after watching a horror movie."
"Oh my god stop I can't." I was laughing my ass off imagining it.
"There it is! The Vittoria smile. You look like a soggy bread when you're sad." He made a funny face.
"Eww that's one hell of a comparison. At least I'm better than a bandaged banana." He was wearing a yellow t shirt.
"Bandaged banana sounds fancy."
I rolled my eyes. "What exactly happened yesterday? Did you...did you kill someone?"
"I might have killed Alvaro." He stated like it's no big deal while my eyes popped out of their sockets.
"What does might have killed mean Toby?" I exclaimed.
"Luca's men took him away immediately but I don't know if he made it. I stabbed him in his gut. He was going to shoot Liam."
"What! Is Liam okay? Why is he working instead of resting at home? Ugh! That idiot."
"He's fine. He's so much less injured because I saved his ass every time." He sassed.
"Don't you think Luca will retaliate?" Why aren't they worried about it?
"Of course he will." Toby affirmed. "Luca has just one weakness. His brother. But we're still stronger than him. He can't harm us."
"Yeah whatever. Leave all that aside. I'm sorry I'm disturbing you. You need to rest." I got up and handed him his meds.
"No I don't want them. They're bitter." He turned away making a face. I sighed at his childish behavior and at the same time reminding myself this is the same person who has probably killed god knows how many people.
"Toby!" I warned.
"No." His muffled protest came from under his duvet which he wore over his head.
Twenty minutes.
It took me twenty minutes to get him to swallow three damn pills. Too much of a work! And Rafael says I'm difficult to deal with. Such a hypocrite!
After completing the tedious task, I decided to reward myself a stroll in the garden. The day was pleasant with sun shining brightly which made the plethora of flowers look even more radiant.
Someone cleared their throat from behind, catching my attention. I turned back to face Jake holding a yellow rose for me. I was frozen for a second with shock. "For me?"
"Yes ma'am." He answered in a straight tone.
"Stop calling me ma'am for heaven sake. I'm the age of your daughter Jakey." I pouted.
"You looked sad this morning. My daughter says flowers make girls happy. I hope it worked."
A bubbly laugh egressed from my lips as I accepted the rose and wore it in my hair. "How do I look?" I did a dramatic hair flip.
"Like a doll." He smiled.
"What's going on here?" Oliver walked over to us with a confused look.
"Jakey gifted me this rose. See it even matches with my dress."
"Uh.. I'll get going sir." Jake went away, leaving us alone in the garden.
Oliver kept staring at me without blinking his eyes, holding a well known dead expression.
"Do I look that bad with a rose stuck in my hair?"
"I don't understand you." His brows creased in deep confusion.
"Pft! I don't understand me either. Big deal." I shrugged.
"You could've gotten yourself killed yesterday, Vittoria. Why did you risk your life for Ava, a girl you don't even know?"
That's it? I thought he was going to ask me how to propose Ariel.
"I don't know her, but I know you. Or at least the pain in your eyes when you talk about her. I did it because I can relate to your pain. Besides, I trusted you guys. I knew they won't let me die. After all, I'm the bullet for your gun." And after that, I'm useless. But I didn't say that out loud.
"Thank you Vittoria, really." He sandwiched my hand between his warm ones. "There are very few people who selflessly think about others. I haven't met anyone of that kind. But that was until today."
"What will happen after you find Mason? Let's say he tells you everything about the Visitant. Then what? What will you do with us?"
He looked away, letting go of hand. "You skipped dinner yesterday."
"You skipped the answer to my question."
"We'll let you go of course. It goes without saying. Now you answer my question."
I was relieved hearing that.
"I was very tired. I laid down on the bed and literally passed out. When I woke up, it was morning." I said, looking at the flowers to avoid eye contact.
"Liar."
"What?"
"I went to your room yesterday night. I heard you cry in the shower. I didn't want to pry and quite honestly I didn't even know how to deal with crying girls so I went away, thinking its best to give you some space."
I stayed silent for a while, not knowing how to react to what he said. He didn't say anything either.
"Hope has its way of letting you down every damn time. I really, like really had high hopes for finding about Mason. All this trouble only to find out we'd got the wrong person. But at least something good came out of it. We got another clue about Ava."
"And yet we're at the same place as before." I didn't miss the disappointment in his voice.
"She was there Oliver. She was so close to us. And yet we missed it. We couldn't even so much as see her face."
"Can't be so sure if that was really her. She was just a girl who matched the description. There are so many girls with shoulder length dark hair. Doesn't mean she was Ava." He reasoned.
"No. This is too much of a coincidence. The worst part is that now even your enemies know about Ava. Alvaro was going to kidnap her probably just to get to you. She's in grave danger."
"I know." He said. He sounded so defeated.
"Who was this Haden anyway? He wasn't a spy for sure."
"Haden was just a drug dealer Alvaro deals with. It was a mistake from our side."
"Oliver, I strongly believe this unknown person who tipped Alvaro about Ava is the same person who handed me the file thinking I'm her. What about the CCTV footage? Did you get it?" I asked impatiently.
"No. It was deleted. We've contacted the surveillance company but unfortunately they're on this annual security backup week where all their servers are down. Once they recover the tape, I'll find that bastard even if I have to go find him in hell."
"Does Ava know she's your sister? Because from the look of it, I think she was running away yesterday. If that was really her. Maybe someone lied to her. Maybe she thinks you're her enemy or...or maybe she ran away seeing Alvaro. Maybe this, maybe that, any freaking thing is possible!" I tugged my hair in frustration.
"I don't know if she knows that but I just found out about a person who knows the identity of her Keeper." He said.
"The Keeper as in that person who your mom trusted? The same person who raised Ava?" Adrenaline shot up when he nodded in affirmation.
"Damn! That's good news grandpa."
"Yeah I guess so." He said with a hint of hope. "By the way, may I know the reason for your absence in the company today?" He asked me like my boss that he is - without sarcasm.
"No you may not."
He gave me that I will fire you again look and I made a teasing face at him.
"I'm no longer going to pretend being Rafael's girlfriend in the company. Please convey him the message." I tried not to give away anything from my face.
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't make sense."
"I don't expect you to understand the reason Vittoria. But I require you to do as we say." He said sternly, leaving no room for further discussion.
"Fine." I stomped my foot. "In that case, I'll break up with him tomorrow in front of everyone, accusing him to be gay and cheat on me with you. Good luck to you with Ariel."
"Oh you won't." He challenged.
I looked dead in his eye, crossing my hands.
"You will." He sighed.
"Don't be stubborn Vittoria. Luca is going to be pissed with this Alvaro situation. You're smart. I don't need to explain you furthermore."
"Fuck my luck!" I muttered under my breath.
"Language." He scolded.
"Okay, grandpa."
"Whatever, muffin."
I watched her in the garden talking to Oliver about god knows what. Good thing she didn't show up to work today or else I don't know how I would have dealt with the situation.
What I did yesterday night was beyond wrong in every way. I got carried away and that was the only way to put an end to it. She needed to stay away from me. I won't be able to reciprocate her feelings and she will be the one ending up being hurt. It's better if she hates me.
"You'll never get tired of looking at her will you?" Toby remarked from his bed.
"That's nonsense." I snarled, walking away from the window.
"Hey there fellas." Liam entered the room with headphones around his neck. "How are you Tobo?" He punched him lightly on his arm.
"I was doing better until I saw your stupid face." He teased.
"My stupid face is identical to your stupid face. Maybe that's why you find it stupid." He attacked back.
"That's such a stupid comeback."
"Yes because stupid people can't fathom a smart comeback."
Oliver made a dashing entry into the room, cutting off their brain wrenching back and forth. I once saw Taylor Swift at a gala. I wasn't half as happy as I was right now.
"How long do I have to stay grounded dear grandpa?" Toby asked, pouting. Oliver's face clearly indicated he was in a terrible mood.
"We need to talk, Rafael." He stated, looking at me intently.
"First tell me if everything is ready for tomorrow?" I asked. He gave a curt nod.
"Alright what were you saying?"
"I want you to reconsider your decision regarding Vittoria." He said. The room filled with a painful heaviness. Liam's smile transformed into an agonizing grimace. Toby's reaction was no different.
"I can't do that." I said with utmost authority, partly convincing myself.
"She doesn't deserve it Rafael." He argued.
"You're asking me to break the Esztar Code for her. You do realize what you're demanding don't you Oliver?"
"Look Rafael, no one needs to know about it. No other Member knows she's a part of the ring. How can they know you've broken the Code if they are clueless about her existence in the first place?" Toby said.
"You can't be so sure about it. Yesterday Alvaro knew we were going to be there in Inferno. If he can know about something so small then why not about Vittoria? I am the Leader and I have certain responsibilities and rules to follow." I walked over to the window again, trying not to look at them.
"Tell that to yourself, Rafael. The truth is that you only care about your reputation. You're scared that others will think you're weak if you show mercy towards her. That's all you want– to be feared." Liam yelled.
"Damn right Liam." I banged my palm on the wall. "It's a necessity for me, not a fucking desire. Do you have the slightest idea about the continuous pressure on me? Do you even know the consequences of fulfilling this demand of yours? If they know I've broken the Code then there will be revolt. The Code applies for everyone. There's no exception."
"So for you power is more important than being fair to an innocent girl, is that right dear big brother?" He looked at me with anger glazing his blue eyes.
"Yes it is Liam. That's the only way I'll be able to keep you all safe. You are my people, not her. So I'm sorry but I won't break the Code for some random girl."
He snorted. "Of course. You have a successful history of protecting your people."
"Enough Liam." Oliver scolded. "Don't bring that up. It wasn't his fault."
As much as I hate to accept, Liam's right. I've failed at protecting my people. It's not wrong on his part to think that way. That's the precise reason why I can't afford to get sidetracked.
How do I tell them it's not easy for me too. But being a Leader comes at a price. I've to take tough decisions that hurt me too. But I don't have a choice like them. I've taken painful decisions in the past that still haunt me. The agony doesn't fade even after all these years.
He'll forgot about Vittoria after some time. I will forgot about her. I hope we do.
"We didn't choose this life, Rafael. Sometimes it gets too heavy to bear the burden like it's happening now." Toby said with poignant eyes.
"I'm not demanding anything, Rafael." Oliver placed a hand over my shoulder. "I'm just asking you to think about it. I'm your best friend and I trust you. You always have a reason behind all that you do. So I'll support you in any decision you make. Although I can't say I'll be happy with what you're about to do."
"You're getting carried away just because she helped in finding Ava. That's just one half of our final goal. All I'm saying is we can't forget the other part. You have as much interest in it as I do, Oliver."
I let out an exasperated sigh, flumping down the bed with my head held in my hands. "Please try to understand. This is too difficult for me as well. I can't handle all of it by myself. You guys are my strength and I need you. Please, I request you."
"We're never going to leave you, no matter what. We're all we have." Liam was the first one to speak. "I'm sorry I talked to you like that."
I didn't know what to say to him. I know he's hurting so much and I can do nothing about it.
The guilt about what I did yesterday increased. I've done wrong to him as well. I talk about letting her go for him and all but my actions said otherwise.
I don't know what was it about her. She was like magic. We barely knew her. She was our enemy's sister. And yet we all seemed to be so attached to her in such short time.
But she knows too much. I lied to her about Mason. Once we find him which is very soon and he gives us what we want, we'll kill him.
And after that, I'll have to kill her too.
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