"You did great on the mission today, Snips, how many droids were you able to destroy?" Anakin Skywalker asked as he fell into step with his Padawan Ahsoka Tano.
"Thank you, Master. I got 126 kills! Bet you didn't get that many."
Anakin made a face, one that his apprentice couldn't quite identify as one particular emotion. Pride? Annoyance? Scheming, even? She wasn't sure. A somewhat tense silence overcame the Master-Padawan duo as Anakin thought, his eyebrows twisting themselves into interesting shapes Ahsoka didn't know were humanly possible as they continued the walk towards their shared quarters.
Victory rang out clearly in the Jedi Knight's Force signature and a broad smirk stretched across Anakin's features as he bragged, "I got 127 kills."
"I'm starting to believe that you're making this up," Ahsoka accused her Master, her normally big, beautiful blue eyes narrowed into slits.
"Why would I lie about that, Snips? A win of mine is a win of mine and therefore, a loss of yours."
"Then why did you take so long to come up with a number?"
"I tried to make sure I remembered every single droid I so expertly slashed apart," Anakin tried, failing dismally to convince the Togruta prancing next to him.
"What number did you actually get, Master? And don't lie to me!"
"... 124." That was it. This would be the end of Anakin Mortimer Skywalker, the Hero With No Fear, known poster boy of the Jedi High Council. He knew Ahsoka was never going to let him hear the end of this one.
"Ha! I beat you, Master! You're never going to forget this one, Anakin, as long as I live to remind you," Ahsoka sang, practically dancing around in circles in her glee.
The said Skywalker merely rolled his eyes. "I let you win, Snips, don't get cocky..."
Their playful banter continued the entire way to their shared quarters, completely oblivious to other members of the Order staring at the odd pair.
***
Collapsing onto the couch, Anakin's stomach chose this time to grumble loudly about lack of nutrition. "You hungry, Snips?"
"Starving," Ahsoka replied, slumping down next to her Master. "It's not our day to go out and I really don't feel like dragging my feet over to the Mess Hall."
"Me neither," Anakin groaned. "My feet feel like lead."
"So what do we do?"
An intense level of focus radiated from the Master-Padawan duo's Force signatures, one that went unrivalled for them as they brainstormed how to get the necessary nutrients into their bodies.
***
"Oh, I've got it!" Ahsoka calls out excitedly after approximately 10 minutes. "Why don't we cook noodles? They're simple and don't take long."
"That's a great idea, Snips," Anakin yawns, too tired from actually using his brain to think instead of his trusty lightsaber. "Why don't you go make some?"
"Why is it always me?" The Padawan complained. "How come you can't get off your lazy arse and do it yourself for once, Master Skywalker?"
"I- because... It's not my-"
Ahsoka simply raised an impatient brow at her stuttering Master. Said 'Hero With No Fear', mumbling incoherent phrases to his Padawan. "Because what?"
For the first time in his life, Anakin was at a loss for words. He had been backed into a wall, and he knew it.
A colourful string of swears came tumbling out of the Knight's mouth as he managed to move himself to the kitchen. "While you learn to cook, Master, I'm going to take a nap. Don't burn down the entire Temple and wake me up it's ready."
Rolling his eyes, the young Skywalker got to work.
***
"Ahsoka."
No response.
"Ahsoka, the noodles are ready. Wake up," Anakin said gently, smiling down fondly at his apprentice.
"I don't wanna eat doodles."
Stifling a laugh, the Jedi Knight grinned lopsidedly. "I guess I'll have to eat my noodles all by myself," he taunted, knowing the Togruta would fall for the trick.
"Tookles! I mean, noodles! I want noodles!"
Anakin burst out laughing. "Tookles, Snips? Tookles? Wh- what are those?" He gasped, taking a sharp intake of breath as he struggled to regain his composure.
"I meant noodles," Ahsoka hissed through clenched teeth, her face turning a shade darker as she stalked into the kitchen.
***
The meal went by uneventfully enough. Surprisingly, Anakin wasn't a bad cook and only burned a fourth of the noodles. Neither Force-sensitive said much until a smirk graced the Jedi Knight's features. A smirk that grew into a soft, controlled laugh, which grew into erratic phrases of laughter.
"What's so funny, Master?" Ahsoka asked.
"Imagine this, Snips," said Knight said as he took a forkful of noodles before suddenly coming up with an idea. "Hey, Ahsoka, look at this," he mused. Curling his upper lip and crushing his eyebrows together in a broad V-shape, the Jedi Knight delicately balanced a noodle on each of the contorted face features. "I am Jedi Master Mace Windu, also known as 'The-Master-of-being-a-complete-arse-to-everyone-but-myself, and the second-in-command of the Jedi High Council. I maintain what I think is a neutral expression but I just look like a Genosian with my huge bulging eyes and constant frown. Also, did you hear that I'm dating my overly large ego?"
The Togrutan Padawan failed to suppress the sparkling laughter that spilled out of her mouth she imagined Master Windu as part Geonosian. Although, she would admit that it was more scary than funny, but amusing nonetheless.
"My turn," Ahsoka stated. "Just give me a second to construct the props..."
In a matter of minutes, she had somehow managed to cut multiple noodles in half, put tiny holes on the top of them, string them together on a thin noodle and tie the ends of the thin noodle at the back of her head. She then used the same procedure to create a moustache.
"Hello there. I am Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, but you may know me by many names. Let's begin with 'the Negotiator'. Yet, those negotiations always seem to be short. Next up on our menu, 'kEnObI,' widely used by both my friends General Grievous and Darth I-don't-know-how-to-stay-dead Maul. Next, as created by my fans in the Outer Rim planets, apparently I am also known as Obi-Wan 'All is fair in Hello There' Kenobi. That is creative, I will admit. It seems like I've run out of nicknames for. Now, onto my hobbies. Number one, stroking my beard. Number two, pretending Satine is not my girlfriend. Three, being the bane of both Anakin and Ahsoka's existences. My time has run short, my friends. May we meet again someday! Kenobi, out."
By the end of Ahsoka's imitation of Obi-Wan, both Master and Padawan were in fits of laughter — the teenaged Togruta had done a brilliant job mimicking the Jedi Master's accent. It was as if Kenobi himself had spoken those very words.
"That- That was-" Anakin cried, his chest heaving, tears of laughter streaming down his face.
"-really fun!" Ahsoka responded, desperately trying to catch her breath.
"-scarily on-point."
***
The playful jokes continued deep into the night. Finally, both Skywalker and Tano had exhausted themselves, their reserve fuel also well and fully spent. A certain Obi-Wan Kenobi walked into their quarters the next day to find them both sprawled on the ground, sound asleep with Anakin's arms wrapped tightly around Ahsoka, with said Padawan's head cuddled up against his chest.
This had not been unexpected; the bond between Kenobi and Tano and the bond between Kenobi and Skywalker had very close to bursting with all the energy and pure, unfiltered joy racing inside. Yet, were those — noodles — on Ahsoka's face? Heaving a sigh, Obi-Wan shook his head. He would never know what went on inside their heads. With a gentle flick of his wrist, the sleeping pair landed on the couch as a blanket fluttered down upon them.
"Sweet dreams, you two."
***
A/N: AND THERE WE HAVE IT! This was so fun to write about! I normally don't do this, but here are so 'writing bloopers!' Which are basically things I considered putting in the actual one-shot but did not. A lot of this is quite funny. So let's dive right in before I finish this off! :D
Bloopers:
"Hmm. A dark path, we are heading down. An utter arsehole, Master Windu has been. Mixed in with sand and smelted into a window, he should be."
- Master Yoda
***
From @RadioSparkz using the tag r/PrequelMemes on Reddit! There is one mature word (I fixed, ish) in number 15 so read at your own discretion.
1. Obi-Wan "Ground is high, your end is nigh" Kenobi
2. Obi-Wan "The belated elevated man" Kenobi
3. Obi-Wan "Wan man, wan liner" Kenobi
4. Obi-Wan "Mischievous grievous is dead devious" Kenobi
5. Obi-Wan "Nine times, ten is a crime" Kenobi
6. Obi-Wan "All is fair in Hello There!" Kenobi
7. Obi-Wan "Servin' up the sith" Kenobi
8. Obi-Wan "Throw an Anakin into a flammable bin" Kenobi
9. Obi-Wan "Ben or Obi, low ground is baloney" Kenobi
10. Obi-Wan "Speciality dishes is what the Senate wishes" Kenobi
11. Obi-Wan "Three prequels and I'm out" Kenobi
12. Obi-Wan "Public enemy number wan" Kenobi
13. Obi-Wan "An uncivilized surprise for the one who can do four high-fives" Kenobi
14. Obi-Wan "When the droid is flying, I'm not dying" Kenobi
15. Obi-Wan "Short negotiations, long m*sturbations" Kenobi
16. Obi-Wan "Cutting the equator of everyone named Vader" Kenobi
17. Obi-Wan "Giant ground" Kenobi
18. Obi-Wan "Deal with absolutes, you're getting the boot" Kenobi
19. Obi-Wan "Landing happy, but the sand is crappy" Kenobi
20. Obi-Wan "Master of murdering Mauls" Kenobi
21. Obi-Wan "If you're political, I think you're pitiful" Kenobi
***
Alright, so that brings us to the end of our bloopers, hope you enjoyed that! I have another oneshot planned already, stay tuned for that!
Adios!
- Jazzy