Time for my favourite.
Dark humour!
We have too much of this in our friend group.
~~~
Domino: My therapist told me time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her. Now we wait.
Lunar and Mystic: *crying laughing*
Dream: JASON THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS--
~~~
Lust: Did you fall from Heaven~?
Fell: So did Satan.
~~~
Mystic: *cosplaying as Russia from Country Humans* Vodka - A drink that makes you strong and clever! 😀
~~~
Nightmare: Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Dream: I don't know, why?
Nightmare: Because he was hit by a bus.
Domino: *bursts out laughing*
Ink: What the hell is wrong with you people--
~~~
Killer: Spoiler alert, everyone dies.
~~~
Cross: Sorry I wasn't in church on Sunday.
Cross: I was out smoking crack with Satan.
Chaos: *WHEEZE-*
~~~
Dust: Why did Paul Waker cross the road?
Horror: Dunno, why?
Dust: Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
~~~
Chaos: The more people I meet, the more I understand serial killers.
~~~
Chesire: Play dead, they said.
Chesire: Wasn't hard, I've been dead inside for years.
~~~
Domino: "I'm sorry" and "My bad" mean the same thing.
Domino: Except at a funeral.
(These shouldn't be funny-)
~~~
Nightmare: You call it kidnapping, I call it surprise adoption.
~~~
Sona: In case no one told you today, your existence has no particular meaning and you are going to die anyway. ❤
Blueberry: *to everyone else* WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING--
~~~
Oblivion: What state do you live in?
Lunar: Constant Despair. You?
~~~
Shattered: Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
(Well I'm sold-)
~~~
Horror: Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
*silence*
Shape: That's just fucked up--
Paimon: Not funny. At all.
Domino: That ain't something to joke about.
Jade: Agreed.
~~~
*Geno gets stuck up a tree*
Reaper: How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Chesire: *doesn't even look up* Cut the rope. That usually works for me when Jason gets stuck.
*silence*
Reaper: What the actual FUCK-
~~~
DS Ink: What's the only time you can do nearly everything you want?
DS Blue: When someone gives you a gun.
~~~
Domino: A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Nightmare: 😂
~~~
Horror: People are like trees.
Dream: *hopeful* There aren't enough of them around?
Horror: *in a monotone voice* They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
(Ticci Toby reference! :D)
~~~
Domino: *tied up in EchoHorror* Well apparently rock bottom has a basement.
~~~
Chaos: A little bit about me - Don't recommend.
~~~
Fell: What's the best part of an ISIS joke? The execution.
Sci: *concerned* Please stop-
~~~
Nightmare: Reasons why I'm unpopular.
Nightmare: One, I hate everyone.
~~~
Sacha: You know what I like about people?
Shift: Their dogs.
~~~
Everyone: *sees the long list of Domino's mental issues* . . .
Domino: . . . On the bright side, I'm not addicted to cocaine.
~~~
Chesire: *to Star Sanses* I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure.
~~~
Darkness: Copy - your bullshit. Paste - somewhere the fuck else.
~~~
Cross: Stay the fuck away from shitty people, you are not a fucking toilet.
~~~
Domino: *to a hater* I may be drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
~~~
Lunar: A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
Domino, Horror & HorrorBerry: *slowly raises hand*
~~~
Oblivion: What's the first thing you notice when someone approaches you?
Chaos: The audacity.
~~~
Domino: *gestures around to the AUs* I don't think I get enough credit that I do all this unmedicated.
~~~
Dream: What's the most painful thing you have experienced?
Blueberry: A broken heart.
Ink: A stubbed toe.
Domino: Either that one time I broke a rib and both my legs or when Chesire threw himself off a building and let me take control *grits teeth* just before he hit the ground.
~~~
Uber driver: I'm near you, where are you?
Chaos: Oh I can see you.
Uber driver: Are you that person standing in the middle of the road?
Chaos: Yeah, floor it.
~~~
People online: Nice to meet you. :)
Domino: Give it time.
~~~
Nightmare: I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
~~~
And now I am going to go get something to eat, so Imma end this here. I've been in a bit of an angsty mood lately, thanks to extreme craps that took three pain-killers to ease.
Yeet out.
(Also: this was not made to offend or annoy people, it's just a joke.)