Abby was helping Clarke look for her note book in her study. She has not unpacked her things so going through the boxes was something Abby did not sign up for when she decided to come visit her daughter. Madi is still in school so she can't leave without seeing her.
"Clarke have you read your divorce paper?" Abby asked carefully. She was holding the papers in her hand after pulling them out of the box.
"No mom. Now would you help me find the book?" Clarke was already frustrated about her missing book of ideas and creative analysis. She didn't need to add to her misery by talking about the DAMN divorce papers.
"Clarke, I know it must be hard but you need to see what's in them. Don't_"
"And how do you know? you and Dad are still happily married. Please mom, I really don't want to talk about this." The vain in her neck was now pulsing hard. It was going to burst if she kept moving at this rate.
"Your father and I have had our own problems, Clarke."
"Yeah? like what?" She was over the subject. "Mom you fight about groceries and dishes. What could be bigger than that?"
"Your father throwing divorce papers in my face. literarily."
Clarke stopped what she was doing and turned to face her mother. What is this woman saying? She thought to herself. Clarke knows she doesn't have a hearing problem.
"We didn't tell you because we managed to save our marriage. You were only Ten at the time."
"How did I not know this?" Abby shock off the bad memories that were creeping on her.
"Apart from you being ten, I told you that I was travelling for some time and I called you everyday during that one year we were separated with your father."
"I take it you didn't sign?" It was a statement. Clarke knows that ever since she signed those papers she hasn't been able to sleep peacefully. Everyday without Lexa was a nightmare.
"No. But that's not why am telling you this." Clarke had a look of confusion in her eyes. Abby took her hands and sat her down on one of the seats around the table. "Honey. Couples fight but it's up to us to fight to keep that bond from breaking. We are only humans and we make mistakes and those who don't learn from them are fools. Clarke I didn't raise you to be a fool."
Clarke looked away. Tears in her eyes. All of a sudden she was emotional like a puppy, it was ridiculous. Every tear that she held back when sign those damn papers and when Lexa would hang up on her. Then Lexa's words rang in her mind 'Don't say it.' those three simple words hurt a lot.
"How did you manage?" She was curious. Her parents seemed happy. Its hard to believe that they almost divorced when all they do is explore their love deeper.
"Lot's of talking. We didn't get back because of you Clarke. I mean we love you but you were not the problem and if we got back on the grounds of that excuse, we wouldn't be happy today. I needed to rebuild the trust that I broke with your father. I didn't sign the papers but I gave us time apart to analyze, reconcile and to ask ourselves what we really wanted."
Her heart was swollen with emotions. If only she had the balls to come out to her mother has a married woman maybe just maybe she wouldn't have been too foolish to act the why she acted and give Lexa what she wanted. She knows it was only for Lexa's protection but maybe she took the wrong steps.
"I know you trust Lexa. And I personally think that's a more reason for you to read these papers." Abby handed them to Clarke, who reluctantly took them from her mom. "Lexa is a Scorpio Clarke. You betrayed her trust, its not easy to let go of someone you love so don't give up on her." Maybe its a sign. Costia said it, now Abby is saying it. Abby smiled. Kissed Clarke on the forehead and left her to be alone for now. She needed it. "I will be in the kitchen."
Now face to face with her number one enemy. Reading the divorce papers meant facing her demons. The reality was more scary than watching walking in the cemetery alone at night.
Clarke sat comfortably and read the papers. Lexa was very generous. There were also photos of her and Niylah hugging or grocery shopping more than once. From the pictures she could see now why someone would think she was dating Niylah.
When she got to the end, Clarke had to sit up straight. There was a hand written note attached to it.
" So you decided to finally read.
Clarke am upset with you. I'm a ticking time bomb right now.
Am sure there is a reason you prefer spending more time with Niylah than me,
but my imagination has become horrific by the issue because I am going crazy.
My actions are derogated at this point. I do want to divorce you Clarke because
I feel that our marriage is a sham to you. It's like you're ashamed of me Clarke.
All your little excuses over the years are nothing but silly and annoying because
You still think am stupid to fall for your lies Clarke. Anyway am in a dilemma right
now . I know I will regret this so I need you to be the Clarke that I used to know
and fight. I hope you stop me from this madness but am sure you will be too late
because of your stubborn antics.
Clarke you have thrown my trust away, I don't think I could ever look at you the same
way. When I asked you on a date a few weeks back I wanted to tell you that I have
being diagnosed with Cancer and honestly I don't think I can fight both of you at the
same time. When you cancelled on me to attend to Niylah, honestly I was devastated.
Clarke you are my kryptonite.
I love you, Princess.
Lexa Woods.
To say that Clarke was shocked is the world's understatement. Lexa gave her an ortimetum . But that's not what's important Lexa has cancer.
She didn't know when she started crying or when she got to the kitchen. Clarke stood there sobbing. She couldn't find the voice in her throat.
Abby turned and quickly walked over to her daughter. Clarke held her mother closer and cried shamelessly. Honestly Clarke can't remember when she cried like this. Maybe the time she was seven and her Dad took away her painting brushes because of bad behavior. They stood there until Clarke came down a little. Her ribcage felt small from the expansion of her heart. Then it clicked, she needed to talk to Anya.
Abby moved them to the livingroom before their legs gave up on them.
*****
Clarke walked into Raven's apartment with a sad face. Her face was Red from crying. When Raven saw, she knew that it was bad and waited for Clarke to tell her than pushing her in this state.
"Raven where is Anya, she isn't at work." Clarke was out of breath and the words were breaking has she let them out.
"She is at the airport,"
"What time is her flight?" Raven eyed her suspiciously. "Raven?"
"She missed her morning flight so am guessing in hours' time." Clarke rushed back out side to her car. Raven stood in her spot puzzled. Anya was acting wired, now Clarke too. Raven could definitely smell something but couldn't say what.
*****
Anya sat in the waiting room starring down at the clock and wishing for it to move faster. This morning when she tried to leave. Raven didn't let her go because for some reason she is too curious for her own good. They started arguing and Anya had to make sure she doesn't leave with things so rusty.
Now she was hearing her name being called and she knows its not Raven. So who was the mad person that dared to call her name in public. People started to look at her because of course they know who she is.
When she saw Blonde hair moving in the crowd, Anya thought this girl gat some balls. But her face read that what the fuck are you calling me for. She was proud but she hated getting attention on herself.
"Clarke."
"I know you're going to see Lexa so i'm coming with you."
"Okay." Anya said and sat back down waiting for her plane. Clarke thought it was too easy. Anya didn't even argue with her. She just sat down and gazed at the clock. Clarke joined her and let out a breath she was holding.
They sat like that until they got on the plane. Anya made small talk here and there but she kept to herself and her thoughts. It wasn't uncomfortable. They both needed the silence to collect their thoughts.
****
Lexa was in a bath tub she dragged on the livingroom. It was cold today. Snow has being falling since morning. The tub was huge to fit her body. It was her daily dose these days. to sit in till she felt cold. The water was heated coolly to keep her from shivering. It was something she made with Echo. With the much time she has on her hands lately, Lexa sometimes makes stuff from whatever she can find.
The Doctor told her to keep her mind busy. and in one week she needs to start her marathon treatment to getting better.
With her headsets banging loud in her ears, Lexa did not here anyone walk in the livingroom but after sometime she felt it. She thought it might be Echo. Rose is always in the Kitchen so she is out of the question.
"Echo, give me a few more minutes and I'll be out." Lexa spoke with her eyes closed.
Clarke could see the nakedness in the water. she didn't mean to stare but she was forced to do so. It has been so long since she saw this body and jeez. But then Green eyes shoot up at Blue and they both held their gaze till Lexa turned back. I'm I so sick i'm now seeing things. Lexa thought. After a few seconds Lexa fully turned and stepped out of the water. Clarke followed the trail of water that ran down Lexa's body until a rob was thrown over the body.
"So you finally read them."
Clarke didn't know what to say or do. Lexa looked pale now that her eyes focused very well, She had a bruise on her eyebrow that looked like she got it from a fall. It's being so long that they both didn't anticipate how they would feel if they ever saw each other again.
"I have missed you." Clarke let out. Lexa just eyed her closely.
This was going to be a long day.