I put my earphones in my ears and play my favorite playlist on Spotify. I'm writing in my journal, expressing my thoughts and feelings about the things that occurred during the last few days.
It's break time, and I only have one class left. I'm sitting on one of the benches on the side of the cafeteria. The cafeteria is busy, and the line to get food is enormous. The chattering is overwhelming and loud, mostly the reason why I put my earphones in my ears.
Music always has helped me concentrate and focus. Yet, this time it isn't precisely working. I'm distracted by the presence of the slightest things, like birds chirping in the tree outside during class, causing me to stare at them. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. I didn't get any sleep last night, mostly because my mind was full of thoughts.
"What's wrong? You have been irritated for the whole morning." Emily takes place on the bench, right next to me. Her blonde hair is hanging down over her shoulders, and her brown eyes look at me worriedly. She's wearing blue ripped mom jeans with a white crop top.
It isn't so hot today. The summer weather is slowly changing into fall weather. The perfect weather to exchange the shorts for a pair of jeans.
"Nothing, I just haven't got any sleep last night. My mind is too full of thoughts, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw parts of the accident flashing by. I don't understand why I can't forget the whole thing. It would give me so much peace and rest." I sigh deeply and close my journal.
"Amelia, you do know it's normal to have nightmares about such a traumatic event, right? Your mind needs to process these things, and you don't give it the time it needs. You don't allow yourself to move on and have peace with what happened." I let her words sink in, thinking about them. Emily has always given me the best advice she could. Yet, the things she says are a bit spiritual.
"When did you get so wise?" I joke, and Emily smiles. She knows I always avoid talking about it. I have never told anyone precisely what happened. I know how badly she wants to know, but she keeps her mouth shut. She doesn't push me to talk about it, but I know she will always be there for me.
"I was always the wise one, remember?" She changes the subject, knowing I want to avoid the other topic. I don't think I've ever met someone who understands me so well without words.
"No, you were not, but I'll let you think whatever you believe." I grin, and she gives me a little push. I take a bite from my oreo cookie.
"Anyways, did you hear the newest gossip? Apparently, some girl has given flowers to Cameron Jones, which he rejected, of course. She was in tears, and some girls heard her cry in the ladies room. Can you believe that?" Emily raises her eyebrows, and she has an unbelievable look on her face.
"Yes, I can, which is a bad thing. The girl must feel terrible right now. It's a huge risk to take, that's for sure. Everybody knew he would reject her, and she must have thought about it too." Everybody here loves to gossip about others, filling their lives with drama. Emily and I only listen to gossip.
"I wonder what was going through her mind when she did it. Do you think that she would have known this could've happened?" Emily looks in front of her, wondering about her question.
"Cameron is a bad boy. I'm pretty sure she should have known that her tries could fail. That's obvious. Yet, I admire her for her braveness." I say after thinking about her question for a couple of minutes. You need to be brave to take such a huge risk. Emily nods, agreeing with me.
"My mom dropped my bag off at your place, by the way. She needed to be in town anyway, and I forgot to bring my stuff." Yes, I forgot to bring my bag for the sleepover tonight. I had a busy morning, and I was tired. Tiredness definitely doesn't do wonders to my memory or my brain.
"You do know that you could've worn some of my clothes, right? We're almost the same size." She takes a bite from her salmon wrap, which she bought from the cafeteria. I take a sip from my coke bottle and smile. The bell rings loudly. My last period starts in five minutes.
Emily stands up and throws her empty water bottle in the garbage can. I put my half-empty coke bottle in my bag and start walking in the direction of the right classroom. Emily walks beside me, looking at her schedule. She still can't memorize it.
Suddenly, five boys walk towards us. I look over my shoulder quickly and notice that we're the only ones walking through this hall. Emily gives me a raise of her eyebrows when she sees them. They stop walking right in front of us, causing us to stop.
Caine is wearing a black shirt, black jeans, and a green jacket. His hair is messy, and I want to run my hands through it. His hands are in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes are staring at me, taking me in. I don't feel comfortable with his presence. He makes me feel nervous somehow.
Ryan is standing beside me, looking at Emily. He didn't take one glance at me, which is somehow strange. He seems to only have eyes for Emily.
I'll bet that something happened between them in the past. They could not have been lovers, but maybe there was affection from both sides. It would not have been strange. Ryan is exactly Emily's type.
Cameron is also looking at me, frowning. Probably trying to remember my name. His brain has probably been affected by the large amount of alcohol he consumes, just like the rest of the group. Not that I care.
Jackson and Hunter are quietly talking in the background, not paying attention to the situation. I can't hear what they are saying, but I guess it's about me. I wonder what they're saying, but I know I'll never know.
"So, you're the girl who bumped into Caine. Amelia, isn't it?" Cameron looks questioningly at me, but I know he already knows the answer to that question. Emily gives me a warning look, and I shrug my shoulders. I don't know what they want from us either, Emily. I'm not a mind reader.
"I guess you already know the answer to that question. Why bother asking it in the first place?" I smile politely and avoid Caine's look. The rest of the group is quiet, waiting for Cameron to answer. He doesn't, however. He seems to be satisfied with my answer, my confirmation.
"You're James' sister, aren't you? I already thought I recognized you." Ryan suddenly looks at me, and I can tell he is avoiding Emily's glance now. Emily is doing the same thing. James is my older brother, and he used to go to school here. He's one year older than me, and he graduated from high school last year. I'm not surprised these five boys know him, as my brother wasn't really following the rules, and that's only putting it mildly.
I don't know what is going on between them. I only know that they used to be in the same friend group, with Caine, Cameron, Jackson, Hunter, and two other girls. I heard those girls left town a while ago. I don't know what happened, causing the group to split. Emily won't tell me, and I will not push her to it. She'll tell me eventually, I think. Maybe I'll never know, but that doesn't bother me.
"You already know that answer, but yes, I'm James' sister." Ryan nods, and Caine glances at him, saying something without using any words. I want to move forward, but the boys are blocking the way.
"What do you want from me?" I ask them, mostly towards Caine. He grins, knowing his answer immediately. I know what the answer is, but I asked the question anyway.
"Don't you remember our conversation during French yesterday?" Emily gives me a surprising look and raises her eyebrows again. I nod, telling her that I will tell her about it.
"No, it must have slipped my mind." I'm lying, of course. I remember everything crystal clear. It's not the type of conversation you forget easily.
"I shall repeat myself, in that case. I want you." He grins widely, and I narrow my eyes. He knows what my answer is going to be. Yet, he dares to say it again. He has a lot of confidence, that's for sure. It's attractive, I must say. Yet, I will never tell him that. His ego is already so big. It can barely fit into the school.
"I suddenly remember. I said no, and my answer is still the same." I give him a fake smile. Caine glances at Ryan and nods discretely. They're using the same type of conversation as Emily and I do. Speaking with looks, and not words.
"Emily, could you come with us for a second? I need to ask you something." Ryan grins, and Emily freezes. She gives me a worried look and doesn't answer the question. If it was even a question. It sounded more like a demand. I nod and smile at her, telling her that I'll be alright. She sighs and walks away with Ryan, Cameron, Jackson, and Hunter. She gives looks over her shoulder, making sure I'm fine.
"Confidence and temper. It suits you, and it makes you sexy." My mouth drops, and I'm shocked. What did he just say? Before I know what I'm actually doing, I slap him in his face. Sudden anger is rushing through my body. I don't know where the sudden anger comes from, but that doesn't matter.
Caine seems to be surprised, showing that he didn't expect me to slap him. His cheek is turning soft red, and he rubs his hand over the place.
"There are so many girls you can get. Many girls like you. Yet, you want me. Over my dead body that I'm having sex with you, or anything in that direction. Leave me alone." I can see the anger in his eyes. Maybe, I shouldn't have slapped him in the face. That may have been a terrible idea.
"Confidence, temper, and determination. I like it. You're hot, beautiful, and I like your personality. Enough reasons to want you." I'm paralyzed. What did he just say? If he thought that was going to save the angry conversation, he obviously thought wrong. He's only making me angrier than I already was. My hands itch to strangle him right now.
"I'll never end up in your bed, asshole. Just wait and see." I snap at him. I turn around and walk to Emily. I detest these five boys. They're disgusting, and I want absolutely nothing to do with them. I'm not spending another minute with them.
"Your opinion about me is going to change eventually, Amelia," Caine says softly, almost whispering. I ignore his comment, not wasting another second of my time on him. I grab Emily's arm and drag her away from the boys. She follows me without any reluctance. She wanted to go just as badly.
"You shouldn't mock the bad boys, Amelia. We're the exact definition of trouble, drama, and problems. Yet, you just did. There will be trouble in your paradise, I promise." Those words from Cameron make me stop walking for a second, thinking about them.
It doesn't even matter, there was already trouble in my paradise. It can't get any worse than this. I start walking in the direction of my next class again. I'm already late for class, but for once I don't worry about it.
I can hear five pairs of footsteps walking away from me. They're leaving. Emily gives a relieved sigh and looks at me. I half-smile at her, still a little distracted and confused about what just happened.
I definitely need a new plan, and maybe some vodka to clear my head. Music or writing will not help this time.