a/n: I hope y'all had water today 🚶♀️ cause it's about to get real hot- omfg I'm kidding 😦🏃♀️ but like actually pls drink water 😥
pietro notices the scars on her arm and confronts her about it.
theme: both fluff and angst
⚠️self harm, suicidal thoughts⚠️
read my bio if you're struggling
~
3rd person pov:
life isn't always as easy going as it is for some people. especially with a fucked up past, it can be utterly rough. Wanda and pietro volunteered for hydra to try and help their country, but y/n was actually taken, a few years before.
they did horrible experiments on y/n without any consent, she went through torture everyday, and she had no one. her family was killed, and she had forgotten all about having a normal life again. she lost all hope.
hydra being the way they are, succeeded with their experiments and
y/n had developed a certain skill set of powers. they turned her into a complete weapon. and that's what's they did, they gave her missions, and no matter what she was forced to injury and murder countless people in just a few years.
this haunted y/n for so long. but, once hydra is as becoming underground again, she escapes the cruelty and that's where she met nick furry.
it had been a year or so since the attack with ultron, luckily pietro survived the bullet wounds, no one knew how... but y/n did, because she healed him. pietro also knew this, but he swore to
y/n he wouldn't say anything about it.
they became close friends, it was nice. that was until y/n started to get her nightmares once more. the souls of her victims haunted her every night and she couldn't do anything to change that fact. These dreams resulted into y/n hating her guts.
she wanted nothing more than to be alone, be punished for the awful things she was forced to do. pietro always told her it wasn't her fault, but always ignored when he said that. he was wrong right? but he wasn't wrong, but
y/n still didn't believe him.
she turned to self harm. she never thought she's so such a thing but the pain inside was so bottled up that she couldn't resist it. she told one, y/n distanced herself from everyone... even pietro. she desperately wanted someone to hug her, tell her that everything would be okay.
but, the satisfaction only lasted for so long. desperately wanting the feeling of releasing just a bit of pain evolved into a unstoppable habit. y/n would stare at the scars on her forearms. immediately, she hated herself but what she was doing but she couldn't stop... and no one seemed to notice. well, that's what she thought.
-
Bucky, pietro, Steve, and y/n were training on the gym in pairs. Bucky and Steve were working on their punching together, while pietro and y/n did 1 on 1 up close combat.
pietro took a punch but y/n immediately blocked it knocking him down to the ground. "ha! I win again." y/n chuckled softly. "how are you not swearing in that sweatshirt?" pietro spoke breathlessly. y/n looked down at the floor and her lip quivered.
"I think we did enough training, it's pretty late. I'm gonna go, goodnight." y/n explained shortly and grabbed her stuff and left instantly. Steve and Bucky looked to Pietro in confusion but pietro shrugged and made his way to y/n'a room in hopes of figuring out what was wrong.
he hesitated... maybe it was better for him to just leave y/n alone. so, he did, pietro walked back to his room and went to bed.
he couldn't though...he couldn't help but wonder what made y/n's mood change immediately when he asked about why she was wearing a sweatshirt while training. he thought about it deeply, he knew he shouldn't intrude and be rude but y/n was so distant and was acting stranger that pietro decided to go back to y/n's room.
he creaked open y/n's door, he knew y/n was sleeping so he tried his best to be quiet. pietro went to nudge her awake but he stopped when he noticed something on y/n's arm. he squinted trying to make out what was there.
it was a scratch. did something happen to her while on a mission? pietro pressed the blanket covering y/n's arm down and stared in utter shock. from around the wrist area all the way up her arm reaching the curve of her elbow were scars.
pietro started to tear up at the sight. he knew what this meant, and the thought of y/n being in any kind of suffering or pain made him extremely upset. he softly grazed his finger along her arm and his breath shook as he sighed.
pietro wished she would've talked to him before she did something so fatigue.
"y/n." pietro whispered while gently shaking her. she was a light sleeper so immediately her eyes opened slowly.
"pietro?" she asked tiredly. she started to take in the situation and y/n's eyes widened and she pulled her arm away from pietros grasp. "I-I..." y/n tried to speak but was a lost for words.
"why... why are you doing this to yourself princessa?" he questioned with a heartbreaking tone. y/n's eyes instantly blurred from built up tears as she realized what pietro must have felt seeing her so vulnerable. "I'm sorry." y/n cried out quietly. pietros hand slipped to her cheek and wiped away a fallen tear.
"look at me." pietro demanded quietly. y/n looked up to her sad puppy dog eyes. "you have nothing to be sorry about y/n. you're extremely strong okay, please if anytime you feel the need to turn to harming yourself, please come to me." pietro exclaimed gently.
y/n'a lip quivered, "I don't remember when it started pietro... I feel so alone, like as if my presence bothers everything, that's why I'm distancing myself...the nightmares are back again... and they're horrible. all the people I killed haunt me every night, I desperately just want to sleep peacefully but I can't." y/n explained and had to stop a couple times in between to stop herself from sobbing.
pietro listened closely. he wanted to just hold her close, whisper sweet nothingness into her ear to make her happy once more. little did he knows, that's exactly what y/n wanted him to do.
"it's okay, you're human... we are all not perfect, in my eyes you certainly are but you were forced to do so much unspeakable actions, but it's okay... y/n you're here. you're alive, and you're safe.. that wasn't you, you aren't a monster. you deserve better." pietro replied as if he was speaking throughly from deep inside his heart.
"you think I'm perfect?" y/n sniffed. pietro chuckled looking away making y/n giggle softly. "the point is, I'm here for you okay, you don't need to do that to yourself anymore. you're going to get better, and soon enough your nightmares will go away, I'm always here for you love." pietro spoke staring deep into y/n's tearful e/c eyes. y/n nodded and looked down scared to ask him to stay.
"first step, get a good nights sleep." pietro said breaking the silence, pietro went to stand up but y/n spoke making him stop dead in his tracks, "wait... can you um stay?" y/n asked nervously. pietro smiled to himself at what she had just said.
"of course princessa." he muttered back quietly. everything leading up to this now made pietro wonder about how under what circumstances would this have never happened. he pulled up the blanket and despite y/n's attempt to cover her arms he stopped her.
"you're beautiful." he spoke making y/n have butterflies. he held y/n close, her head on his chest and an arm loosely laid upon y/n's shoulder. here was his moment. "when you're not acting so cool, you have a soft side." y/n mumbled.
pietro kissed the top of her head, "I know." he uttered back. pietro felt the smile she had on his chest and he waited until y/n was fully asleep before he could too, close his eyes into endless nothingness.
that night, y/n didn't have a nightmare, and that night is where a relationship slowly blossomed.
~
the end. Loki really long (see what I did there lowkey... Loki.. nvm) I hope this was good,
but like I said, if your ever going through anything please talk to someone about it. Your mental health is far more important than anything, it doesn't matter if it's a family member, educational employee, friend, anything... your health matters, you're valid.
ok! on another note I hope you all enjoyed have a good day :))
- e v a