WARNING: little mention of the act of sexually doing something without consent.
Four days. It has been four days since the incident with Fred. 3 since he's been awake. For the past four days I've been in my dorm just sitting and wondering if Fred had remembered me or not. Fred's been in critical condition and today was the day I finally decided that I should probably see him.
There was a few times where Hermione and Ginny would come to my dorm and bring me my trunk and some food or they would just be there to comfort me. I had appreciated all of the Weasleys but some part of me deep down inside had felt terrible.
Ginny told me how they were spending Christmas in the hospital wing with Fred, she told me that they all wanted me to join but I was scared. I was so happy to hear that he remembered his family, friends, and even all of his life up to now.
But yet, no mention of my name.
Out of the four crucial days, I've only slept for two. My head wasn't in the right place. Hasn't been for a while now. It was time for supper and so I just dressed myself in some flared denim jeans with the sweater Mrs.Weasley knitted for me.
I was getting ready to visit the Weasleys when there was a knock on my room door. In my heart I wanted it to be the same redhead that would always come knocking. I made my way to the door with my wand and opened it.
"Hey, wanted to check on you before you'd check on us" the twin redhead said as my eyes filled with sorrow at the sight of him. Thinking of Fred while looking at his twin didn't help at all.
"I'm fine" I lied.
"Are you still mad at me? Look, I didn't know anything about this—I -"
"George, I'm not mad at you okay...I'm just stressed out right now. I know you didn't mean to do anything. You didn't know."
The day the Weasleys visited Fred, George told me how he ran down to see Fred with his pooled eyes. Happier than ever that his twin remembered him. George explained to me that he knew all about the date obviously. The day he left for hogsmeade, he told Angelina who told Lee who told Katie who told Gaby.
"Well, we haven't mentioned you yet. He is still recovering but just been sort of grumpy like
Before. Nothing too much to worry about." He smiled. "he'll remember you Em" George comforted me as he rubbed my shoulder.
George and I both walked towards the hospital wing together. My heart beating faster and faster as I became more anxious and nervous. If he remembers me then that's more than Great honestly. It's just what I'd do if he didn't remember me. There were two choices in my head to pick from.
One, tell him everything and just hope for the best that he'll remember. Or two, which would be harder. Don't tell him anything, and just...wait.
Everything happens for a reason my father would always say. When I was little I always thought it was rubbish, growing up I started to believe it.
"Ready Em?" George asked me as I stood near the double doors. My palms grew sweaty by the second. "If it cheers you up, you have a shit ton of birthday letters back at home. Which reminds me, thanks for the muggle music. I'll tell Ginny to bring your post along with Fred's stuff" George said.
I looked In the room to see that Molly and Ron had left to the hall to grab food for Fred as it was lunch. Arthur was helping with Dumbledore and even Hagrid as they've been searching for Gabriella. Speaking of the bitch, Dumbledore said that Jeremih must've been under the Imperius Curse. Mione told me that it would make sense that she used it Charlie too. I had felt sick to my stomach that someone could take advantage of another person like that. Gabriella had took advantage of Charlie in a horrible way and Molly said that she'd even kill Gaby if she was to ever see her again.
"Emerald?" George had asked me, snapping me out of my thinking. "Here, just follow me" George took my hand and lead me towards Fred. My heart was pounding and just wanted to beat out of my chest.
"George you idiot, I asked for orange juice not apple" Fred said in a sick and raspy tone as I still stood behind George.
"I'm starting to like it better when you were asleep" George scowled. "I'll get you the juice if you promise to be nice. Git" George spat back at him, causing Fred to chuckle.
"Nice isn't really in my vocabulary at the moment" Fred replied.
"Not to me" George scoffed. Fred started babbling and cursing at George but George pulled me in front of him for Fred to see.
Fred had shut his mouth and locked eyes with mine. He stopped talking and just tightly bit down on his teeth, causing his jaw to pop more. Fred wasn't too damaged but his dark under eyes told me that he lost some sleep as well.
Tears started to bubble up in my eyes. I felt them boil now and they wanted to be poured out.
"Fred..." I whispered as I moved closer to his face.
Still, he wasn't saying anything but his eyes stayed steady on mine and my aura. I slightly moved my hand to his face as I seen his eyes start to look watery now.
"Wait- don't—" George spoke as my hand got closer to Fred's face. I turned to George and he look surprised at my hand on Fred's warm face.
My face turned back to Fred, now inches away as I looked at him. His ginger hair, his glowing light eyes, his freckles, sharp structure, just...everything.
Without thinking, I moved closer to Fred's face while my hand caressed his cheek and jaw and my body between his legs. He was sitting on the bed so he was still taller as his hands were flat on the bed, holding him up with his long legs were over the edge and his feet laid on the floor.
"Uh..." He cleared his throat, so I ended up pulling away.
"Have we met before?" Fred asked me, and he had this look on his face where he was so unsure if he knew me or not. "Bloody hell—I've seen you so many times I just can't seem to remember".
Fred would totally be the type to make a joke about this and especially in this situation so I was confused. My heart was aching at his words and his facial expressions as I realized that he was being serious. The warm tears in my eyes now dropped down, heating up my cold face and skin. Fred had made eye contact with me as he watched me tear up.
Not realizing, Fred was wiping my tears as I still stood between his legs. His face was calm and serious when I stared into his eyes. My stomach twisting around as Fred's questions kept replaying in my head.
"I just asked if we've met before —- you alright?" He asked again.
No is what I wanted to say, No I'm not alright I tried to spit out.
Fred hadn't remembered me.
It hit me that my first choice in replying would probably be useless. How can I look at Fred or even be near him if he didn't remember me. All the memories made before we even got together, were erased. The moments we snuck around had been erased, and even the most fluffiest times we shared were now lost. The decision that's made was clear.
"Yeah—-" my raspy voice said as my throat grew dry. "I had—-I had potions with you. That's all.—that's where we've met" I said as more tears crawled out of my eyes.
My head wasn't thinking right—I was thinking straight at all. My own words hurt me more than it did when I thought of them.
George had furrowed his brows as he watched the scene that played out.
"Yeah....maybe that's where I recognized you from" Fred whispered as he looked down. But there was something in his face that just told me he was so unsure.
"Merry Christmas" I said with my red eyes and sweet fake smile on my face. I turned on my heel and quickly started to walk towards the entrance. As I turned around hiding my face, I bawled out and sobbed harder and harder while wiping away the flying tears.
"Emerald! Em!" George yelled. He had ran towards my back and pulled my hand to face him.
"God, Em—?" He frowned. George pulled me into his chest as his hands now combed through my hair.
"He doesn't remember....he doesn't remember George" I panicked as I sobbed and left water on George's shirt. "I can't do this—" sniffling as I cried.
Fred was obviously watching as George hugged me right in front of the hospital wing doors.
"He has to know. You have to tell him." George whispered.
"No—he can't know George." I pulled away and started to feel like I ugly cried out all the water inside of me. "Either way...it won't be the same. You know that." I whispered while looking down.
"All that's going to do is hurt you and confuse him" George said now seriously and almost In anger. "You seen the way he looked at you Em, he knows something." He added.
"George I just don't know—-"
"Fred has been back to being the angry arsehole again. Every time any of us tries to touch his hand or face, he punches us." He said while crossing his arms. "Fred sees something in you Em. He has the right to know who you really are."
My heart now felt some way as I started thinking of a way Fred could remember. But it's impossible. Whether Jeremih sucked at charms and messed the spell up, whether Fred sees something in me....it won't be the same unless he remembers.
"It's been done already George...he'll never remember" I wanted to believe my own words, but somehow I couldn't. "I'm going to go unpack...I need some space...but I need you to Promise me you won't tell him anything"
"Now you know I can't do that. He's my twin and he's already—"
"Please...George— just, promise" I asked in the most gloomiest Tone ever. George looked and turned to Fred which I did to. Fred looked broken and mad, something I hated seeing.
"Promise"
I sighed deeply. "Thank you, for everything" I replied while tears filled my eyes up again.
George had frowned as I left. I opened the doors and let them shut on my way out. Right away, I could hear Fred yelling at George and asking what happened but George made a promise that I hoped he'd keep.
My eyes poured out more as I heard Fred's yelling of being concerned. Now I'm the room behind me, I had left my dignity, my heart, and my tears. All with more and along with the man I love.
———————————————-
"Okay so these are the letters" Ginny handed me a stack of post but stopped to grab five boxes out of her charmed bag "and these— are the Christmas gifts from us, to you. Thank you so much for the servicing kit by the way, love ya lots".
I had just woke up from getting some sleep after today's visit to Fred. I opened my door to Ginny and she quickly made herself comfortable. It was nine in the evening and Hogwarts still had only a few students.
"Wait—one more!" Hermione came in while levitating what was Fred's trunk. "Hey Em, how's everything? How are you....?"
"Hey 'Mione. Yeah, I'm not okay at all but can we just pretend that I am ... please." I asked nicely.
Hermione and Ginny just looked at each other after sharing a huge hug with me. They were obviously concerned but they knew not to pressure anything. I had the stack of letters and just looked over who they're from. There was letters from Ro, Lia, Ced, Grey, Lee and a few Christmas postal cards from Blaise, Cho, and Adrian.
The last letter and the only one I wanted to read at the moment was from Ash, my brother. Someone who I needed at a moment like this for his stupid advice. I opened the letter after throwing the others on my nightstand and I began to read while Mione and Gin played around with their Christmas gifts.
Dear Emmie,
First, I'd like to wish my favorite little shithead a Happy Birthday. I hope you had a great birthday, I miss it when we'd spend it at home and get to smash your ginormous head in some cake until you chase me around with the frosting as well. I miss you, Merry Christmas by the way. My Christmas gift to you will be on the way but Mum and Dad said they love you lots and will be showering you in gifts when you come to the wedding, which reminds me—
Secondly, the other card inside the envelope is the invitation for the wedding which is for you and a plus one. Speaking of a plus one, I know about you and Fred. Why didn't you tell me before? I owe Perce and Crystal two sickles now. I love you sissy and— your taste in men. Write back to me, we'd love to hear from you.
Sincerely, Ash
(Green God of course)
As I was reading the letter, a smile had crossed my face from ear to ear. A real one, with a few tears. I was glad he knew about Fred but, he had wrote the letter before the incident on my birthday. I placed the letter down and started to grab the card out of the same envelope.
It was just a motioned picture that was Ash and Crystal smiling and kissing on a Romantic date. It was early for invitations as the Wedding would be in June which is also the same time for Graduation but the wedding would be after of course.
"What is it?" Ginny asked.
"Oh—-just Ash's wedding invite" I replied, going back to being the way I was before.
"We've got one too. I absolutely Cant wait, your mum makes the best pecan pie." Ginny said.
"You can't wait...for the wedding...because the pie? That's pathetic. Anyways, thank you for the gift" Hermione said while blushing.
For Hermione, I had bought her a gorgeous black dress and told her to show it off to Ron. Also a book called, New Theory of Numerology.
"Speaking of, you have to open yours now. Mine first! Obviously" Ginny announced as she moved the wrapped gifts closer to me.
Like she suggested, I opened her gift to me first. I tore the beautiful red shiny gift wrapping apart and now opened the box. In the box was a red long sleeve shirt with "Gryffindor" on the back.
"I know what you're thinking— what the hell? Right?" Ginny smiled. "But we're, as in gryffindor house, welcomes you whenever. You're my Idol, I thought hufflepuffs were soft and perky but you really beat the shit out of Gaby" Ginny cheered as she saw my face start to smile at her generosity.
"Ginny—thank you. I actually really love it. Plus it's long sleeve and a good memory" I placed the gift back in the box and Ginny had left with Fred's trunk to the hospital wing.
"Okay, my gift now" Hermione said as she sat next to me on my bed. I moved my hands to pick up the squared and flat gift. I removed the blue wrapping and opened the box. Inside was a piece of folded parchment and a list, under the parchment was a vinyl.
"Muggle songs you'd love. After I helped you with George's gift on the cassette tape, I put more songs on this one for you" Hermione said. She did Help me with my Christmas gift to George which he loved and thanked me yesterday.
"Thank you 'Mione. For the gift and just being here" I told her.
"Of course, even though you're dumb and should've told Fred" she scowled. "You know Jeremih was terrible at spells so most likely he messed up on something."
"Fred didn't remember me for the reasons I wanted him to. I rather have him remember me for being a bitch like before than not remembering me at all. Now he just knows me from potions and I just—"
"—You just...couldn't handle it." She cut me off. "I understand. But I agree with George and Ginny, he should at least know before he finds out for himself" she said. I hated to admit it but they were right. But Fred wouldn't be able to handle everything just yet.
"He doesn't remember, Hermione. He won't find out. That's it and that's all." I grew angry when I didn't want to.
I could tell that Hermione felt some way by the tone of my voice. She had took her stuff and had bid me a soft goodbye before letting herself out. She slammed my room door which I scoffed out, her attitude made me irritated but I raised my voice at her for something I shouldn't have.
Turning back to my bed, I noticed a gift from Mrs.Weasley which was a lovely knitted sweater. The sweater had me in absolutely awe, it was brown with a off white "E" on it. George had got me a box of honeydukes sweets, Ron got me some this bulging bag of dungbombs, Harry bought me a guide on sewing, which I thought was funny but I was going to need it eventually if I was going to work at my Family's shop for clothing.
The last gift that I held off on opening for last was the one from Fred. I looked at the birthday gift he gave me and smiled. I had took off the charm anklet yesterday and had set it down on my nightstand when I got some sleep.
Red wrapping of course, I chuckled at his rough wrapping but at least he tried. I tore it off piece by piece and slowly. Inside was a parchment and so that's what I wanted to look at first, so I unfolded the parchment and let my eyes fall on the sloppy sentences.
Snow,
You're the only one that has made me feel this way and I never want to lose that feeling. You're so fucking amazing and bloody hell you're gorgeous. Mum was right, I've got a good one.
The gift will make you chuckle but I love it and would love to see you in it. In both actually, maybe we can have a little New Years party when we go back...in my dorm....or yours.
P.S. I love you, I'm pretty sure the second gift wouldn't need an explanation to it.
-Fred
After reading the parchment with a few tears wanting to escape my eyes, I slowly placed the letter down and moved to the box. The first thing that caught my eye was a green silk robe. I lifted the robe up and inside of it folded was a green lovely garter lace lingerie set.
"Of course" I chuckled as my eyes roamed over the set and robe. Quite the taste he had, it was just sad that he'd probably never be able to see me in it.
I smiled for a brief moment before putting the gift back in the box it came out of but my eyes fell onto the smaller box that was wrapped inside of the same box. My hand grabbed it as my eyebrows furrowed at the confusion. This must've been the 'second gift' he mentioned.
Quickly, I unwrapped it and opened the box that wouldn't need any explanation to understand it. Fred was right. I opened the box and immediately understood.
In the box was a charm, a new one to add to my collection on the anklet. The charm was a sun, it didn't need an explanation to it as I knew what it meant. For Fred's gift, I wrote down a letter to him and got a long chain that had an oval pendant with the sun on it. On the second, shorter, circular pendant, it had a crescent moon.
The sun described the days we'd wake up next to each other, the sunlight had hit every lovely feature on Fred and I loved seeing it every morning. So much that sometimes I even picture him laying next to me.
It was never about the jewelry or the cost of it. All that mattered was the thought into it and the meaning behind each charm.
Tearing up more, I placed the small box near the anklet and just focused on cleaning up now. I threw away the wrappers in the bin and just did a simple cleaning charm for the rest.
It was still a little early to sleep and there were students going to hogsmeade but I didn't want to go out. I had opened every letter and replied to each one while growing frustrated on my thoughts. My mind was scattered everywhere and especially on Fred.
After sending the gifts I bought for Ro and Amelia along with the others and letters, I was laying on my back and stared at the ceiling to transfer my frustrations into my thoughts.
Thinking of the possibilities of Fred remembering and the chances being low. It was going to be hard for the rest of my last school year. My head was pounding as I could still hear Fred saying, "I love you" before he wouldn't love me anymore. He now knew of me but didn't know me.
All the memories, gone to waste. It was just going to be like before.
Trying my best to ignore him. And with Fred not remembering me, it was going to be easy for him as well.
——————