Purpled: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.
Tubbo: Are you okay???
Purpled: Tommy stole my fucking granola bar!
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Wilbur: I was looking at grapes in a store and this old lady comes up to me and goes "you're not stealing are you?" so I'm like "uhh no..." and she goes "oh, well I am." and grabbed a handful of grapes and left.
Tommy: *dying of laughter*
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Dream: I remember the "selling their kid on eBay" story.
George: "Who sells their kid on eBay? That's nuts.
Puffy: That's a child. A living being that you made.
Techno: That shit goes on Etsy.
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Quackity: WHAT COLOUR ARE MIRRORS?!
Slimecicle: Lets reflect on this.
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Karl: Whenever I see a frog on a lily pad I'm like "yeah man, that's exactly where you're supposed to be"
Quackity: That's what god says when he sees me crying in a taco cabana bathroom...
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Tubbo: Why don't humans have a specific noise that's means "there are wasps here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us?
Purpled: We do have a specific noise, it sounds like this: "there are wasps here, let's leave immediately."
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Purpled: Your dog needs meat and your kids need vaccines, end of story.
Tommy: Also your dog needs vaccines and your kids need meat.
Tubbo: Also your meat needs vaccines and your kids need dogs.
Ranboo: What these are all true-
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*the banquet crashers in a group chat*
Quackity: You know when you shake laminated paper and it does the thing
Purpled: fwuuubufwffuwbwfwuubbwbwbwbffufuwbwuFWUBBBWFWFWUBBUF
Techno: Ah yes, exactly like that ^
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Badboyhalo: Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!!
Skeppy: But I don't like eggs and bacon...
Badboyhalo: Wakey Wakey vegetables and sadness...
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Tommy: The four horsemen of the apocalypse: No signal, low battery, being left on read, buffering
Techno: famine, death, war, pestilence
Wilbur: Okay, that's deeper than I expected-
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Slimecicle: Hey Techno, what's it called when you murder a friend...homiecide.
Techno: Murder
Slimecicle: ...homie...cide?
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Sapnap: Hey Karl, you got the time?
Karl: Oh yeah lemme just
*Karl picks up his cat and stares it dead in the eyes*
Karl: It's about 6 pm!
(For context, your cats pupils can tell you what time it is!!)
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Slimecicle: You see some of the weirdest things in parks nowadays, yesterday I saw some guy bench pressing a goose for ten minutes.
Quackity: This quote will be in the textbooks-
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And now for some Tired TWT tumblr interactions!!
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Hannah: I just found out that my geckos tail works on my phone screen, I'm gonna let her make a text post and let autocorrect interpret her words!!
Gecko: Funks go e y y man kill zucchini angst
Purpled: The gecko has spoken
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Purpled: What if the only reason we can't walk through mirrors is because our reflection blocks us?
Hannah: What if they're protecting us though?
Astelic: What if they know that the other side is horrifying and painful and they are trying to keep us from ever crossing over?
Wallibear: I must be on the wrong side of the mirror then.
Purpled: Maybe you're the reflection...
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Wallibear: What if instead of flakes, snow fell all at once? Like 6 inches of snow just plummeted to the earth in one thick blanket setting off car alarms and knocking people over, but that was it, that was the snowstorm?
SammyGreen: INCOMING!!
KrustyDavid: WHAP
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Purpled: I donate blood in the hopes that my blood will overpower theirs and take control of their body so I will gain another vessel to use as my own...
Astelic: Why am I reblogging this?
Purpled: It appears my blood has been succesful
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Hannah: Real Netflix and chill is like 30 minutes of "what do you want to watch" "I don't know you choose" "no you choose"
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Wallibear: Let me lay down some facts for you:
- aliens are real
- horoscopes are real
- skeletons are real
- Star Wars is probably real
- linkin part is almost too real
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Wallibear: Sometimes I wake up with a very urgent thought on my mind and it's usually pretty dumb like "je suis un pomme" or "root beer fairytales" but this morning I woke up and sat there for a second and all I could think was "tis I, the frenchiest fry"
Purpled: I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN CLASS
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SammyGreen: VINE IS RETURNING IN SPRING AND IT'S GOING TO BE KNOWN AS BYTE AND THAT IS ENOUGH REASON TO NOT KASHOOT YOURSELF TODAY
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KrustyDavid: Summarise Black Mirror to me!
Hannah: TECHNOLOGY!
Astelic: *jumps out of her seat in fear*
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AUTHS NOTE:
Hello!! Thank you for reading this chapter! I wanted to add some Tired TWT interactions in here too because some were just perfect for them haha, also sorry that this is shorter it's late and I'm tired. I'll probably make another part of this!!