In the early hours of morning, Tori and I sauntered through the halls of residence, brushing through dressed or half-dressed students. Some walked around in their underwear with no care and the sight of that didn't make us cringe. We didn't question it anyways. People were comfortable here and because of it, for the first day of many more, I'd too might dare walk around in just boxer briefs.
Sure, I ran with my dad a lot and had few workout sessions with him, so I wouldn't feel as self-conscious and a little more confident. But some of these guys, who beards shaped their faces as rugged, had stocky figures or slight beer guts. And with that, on top of the gym seasoned boys, I'd feel embarrassed once all eyes were locked on what I packed.
No, sir... nope, nope, and more nope.
Perfume and cologne combined trudged the air and we continued, letting the sweet mixture stain our clothes. Around another corner, we met up by Chris' door, where Levy stood outside against the wall. From the sound of Tori's voice, he glanced up at us and kicked himself off. He hugged her first and then me.
For a new guy, I felt a slight sense of comfort from his already loving embrace.
"What's Chris doing?" Tori asked.
"Wondering what shirt he'd wear," he said. "He has to look good for the ladies — and maybe be a little eye candy for the men, too." The slight dip in his voice on those words left my body shifting.
I'd curse Leone for the start of one of my weaknesses.
"Oh dear God... remind me again why we're friends with him?"
"He still has to renovate that kitchen of yours, right?"
I choked on my saliva and clapped a hand over my mouth. Oh my God... I'm done.
"Oh, yeah." She stared in the distance, popping her hip out before straightening her composure. I, on the other hand, kept choking quietly to myself. I couldn't live to see another day with these kind of people as my friends. I thought Leone would've kill me one day before, but now, these guys would. "Where's my brother, by the way?" she asked.
"He's in the shower," Levy explained. The way his face shaped up couldn't worry me anymore than last night. Chance held a mystery to him, now that the boy I knew grew into a man I called a stranger. "He'll be out when he's ready. He knows his schedule, he won't be late."
"So what class does he have first?" she asked. "I know he's taking Psychology like Tommy is."
I learned once new thing about him. His interest in Psychology left itching for more answer. The mystery behind that beautiful man would be solved — I just hoped he didn't leave me any choice but to fall for him.
"Social Psychology." And now it became coincidental. I'd get my chance.
Tori settled her eyes on me and gave a backhand pat on the side of my stomach. "Hey, do you think you can stay behind and watch him for me? You're both in the same course so he might be willing to open up a little more," she said. The glint in her eyes read how her love for him transcended beyond the annoyance he gave her because of how he was. "You don't have to but-"
I nodded fast. "Yeah, of course."
Levy nudged his head up and gestured me to follow while Tori stayed behind waiting for Chris' ego to simmer down. Levy and Chance were roommates, and around the corner, down the end of the hall came their room. He heaved the door inwards, smiled as he patted my back and left to catch up if Chris hadn't left. The sound of water filled the silence and I sat myself on the far end bed, just on the edge.
I didn't think anyone showered for so long.
Then again, didn't we all contemplate life and other things in the world in the shower? Or is that when the internet keeps you up late at night?
Their room kept the same layout like mine did. I noted every other room, through the cracked doors Tori and I passed by — Tori turned me into a creep, I know it — and they were a different layout than mine and this one. However, it had a consistent pattern, one like mine, one different and repeat.
My eyes wandered towards the bathroom door and I thought, what were Chance's interest in Psychology? Mine were just to have a better understanding of why people did the things they did, subconsciously or not. I might admit it may or may not had related to past experiences with certain people.
You all know who anyway...
Leone would be learning Psychology, too, just within the Police Foundations course he applied for, which made up for why he continued on sleeping. His class began at 10:30 but the rest of started at 9. Okay, well, Levy just started a half hour later, but still, relatively the same between us.
He stood for Fitness and Health Promotion and Tori went in for Film, Media, and Television Production. Chris geared towards a career in Business and that made me realize the diversity among our career choices than just the shades of our skin.
My first class, as well as Chances', was Social Psychology; the scientific study of social influences on behaviour and the interaction between individuals and groups of varying personalities and characteristics. Soon I'd make sense of the world and of why Kayla chose the lifestyle she did for herself. And maybe there'd be more to Leone's attachment than just being hormone induced and stocked on weed.
I realized my eyes were now centered down on the red plus carpet as my fingers fiddled. When the door heaved, my eyes followed the vague smell of steam slightly surrounding a sculpted man. Drips of water scorched his gym seasoned body. His muscles were displayed in the glory of a window they had, being their room reached the edge of the second floor. A towel hugged his waist and I understood the level of commitment and determination he took the gym.
Either most guys would feel intimidated or disgusted... I really, really, really, never minded this look.
Big, not as big as Lee or some bodybuilders, chiselled and proportionate, his chest watered my mouth for his biceps and toned legs with light patches of hair stigmatized the nerves of my brain... and down there.
Damn... just... damn...
His eyes soon settled on mine quick and as he furrowed his eyebrows, my mouth formed words but my voice stuttered. My cheeks burned, the smiled I contrived and the flush of my heart killed everything in me.
His fingers clenched around the rim of his towel as he shifted and sighed. "Tori needs to learn she can't keep letting our friends babysit me like I have a problem. 'Cause I don't." He sauntered over to his drawer and pulled out some clothes, for he'd change in front of me without a care.
I know what I said earlier, but you couldn't pin guys like him on me like that, or any guy who fit the wide spectrum of attractibility I had.
Yes, it's a word. Now.
My mind said to avert my gaze, but my heart made no means to comment, and it all came down to what I felt stretched the groin of my pants.
"What're you taking anyways?" he asked, dropping the subject and his towel.
My awkward anxiety carried me over from the bed to a chair in the kitchen with my back against him. "Uh, uh... Psychol-logy."
"Really? Half the kids from my high school came here and none of them, as far as I know, had an interest it. I remember thinking they'd have a hard time understanding any of it, or maybe I'm just being an ass," he said. "But now I got a familiar face with me, that's good to know." He probably smiled and if I turned to watch the curve of his lips, my heart might smile for me. Or my dick, I mean... yeah... And there would go my clean pants — if. "And I'm sorry for yesterday. I barely said anything to you; its been so long but I couldn't forget a face like yours. Sorry. Just had a lot on my mind.
Somehow I regained control of my words and stopped letting other parts dictate how I'd feel around him. But I could never let it go, he was just... "Oh, no, it's okay. Sometimes people are just not in the mood for things. Understandable." What he went through... we'd have to understand, and maybe my voice cracked.
Maybe. Btu back on Chance, I mean, Bentley was just... I knew Chance loved him as much as Tori did.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked through the silence.
"Wait, what?"
"The kitchen." His chuckle came in hushed. "Why'd you leave into the kitchen like that?"
"Well..." I fiddled with my fingers and my eyes darted across the room for no particular reason as to find a lie. I don't know... "I needed a glass of water. And... I just so happened to not be thirsty anymore."
Louder, a chuckle reached and curled my ears. "Alright then." Deep, rich, and soothing, he could read a book and I'd strain my brain just to keep awake.
If I'm being honest now, just by our first meeting, first official, he invested me in a desire of learning more about his changed personality. Then I could drool some more because, why not? Can't help how I find others attractive... even in the most stupid ways.
He finished up changing and called out to me. We left in time to make it as my phone ticked away at 8:35. We neared the school on foot, crossed like everyone did at the intersection and brushed past a crowded entrance. We walked in silence and on occasion, I stole a few glances. The tricky part was the sun that glared in my eyes and cause me to briefly go blind every few seconds.
But what a nice day it turned out; a naked blue sky and the sun's loving embrace. Clarence easily beats of Georgia by a mile, but with a few friends back there, it gets better a few months at a time.
"Also, why'd you stutter back there?" he asked once we got in the school.
"What? Oh, um, I-I" His curved lips melted my thoughts and when he laughed, I gave up. It was funny, yes, so I'd give a little chuckle to breeze the atmosphere, for my sake mostly. Looking at his figure one more time, I itched the burns I had. I have to buy some cream or something, jeez. "You looked skinnier before, last time I saw you in pictures from Tori. What motivated you?"
He took a breather and kept his line of sight straight. "Sometimes you get motivated and encouraged to better yourself; state in mind and body."
He then stopped and examined his schedule, proceeding to carry me around behind. He must've knew the school inside and out, he and Tori and everyone else. They grew up here when they left so there shouldn't be much of a surprise.
Even after orientation, I felt new here. Lost.
"Who motivated you?" I asked.
His lips straightened and kept shut. With one look down on his schedule again, he examined his surroundings until they stopped in mine. "Someone I used... I thought I loved."
"Can I ask what happened?"
"Cheating happened..."
"Oh, same..." I thought out loud.
I never intended for his ears to pick up on it but his face did. We continued in silence and he led me through and up the stairwell onto the third floor of the E section of the College. We went around the first corner on our left and ended up at E312.
Time passed at 8:55 and we took our seats next to each other. The class was empty, with just eight students including the two of us. Our professor sat at his desk in the left upper corner of the room and a projector rested over our heads aiming at a white pulled down screen up ahead. The walls were white and the desks were made for two.
With our bags down at the sides, he crossed his arms on the surface of the desk and turned to me. Those blue eyes Tori ingrained fear in me were calm for him. For being fraternal twins, they shared nothing alike except for theirs eyes now. As kids, you wondered which one was the clone of the other, questioning whether Arthur and/or Vera cloned their daughter to be a boy or vice versa — back when we had imagination.
His eyes caught me hard and I had to bring myself back and take in his question a second time.
"Why take Psychology?"
"Well..." for the millionth time, "I'm interested in learning about the human psyche; what their thoughts are made of, why they act on their judgement and how it came to be. You know, just why humans live the way they do, you know? You?" You know...
"Basically what you just said. I just like the thought of knowing how the human mind really works, and with that, I might finally understand the world more clearly."
I nodded in understanding and agreement. He made sense and hot... got my mind clouded around his words.
In just five minutes, students rushed in and filled the room, a few chairs vacant. The professor closed the door at the dawn of 9. Anyone later was now a latecomer, and it sucked to be them but high school days were long gone. It was time you worked your life around the schedule College made you. You only got three absences in total, unless you called in and stuff, before you were kicked out.
Maybe if I went in after I graduated, I'd fall back in that high school schedule and how my teenage mind worked. That wouldn't work out well and boy would I just procrastinate like life gave me better options... and more food. So...
I watched our professor search his laptop, turn the projector on and flashed a collage of pictures of different people. He stood centered in the middle of the room, tall and hands clasped before him. The formal look suited him well and dear lord some girls and guys ogled him like a piece of fine meant.
And he was
"Why are women bitchy when Mother Nature calls for their monthly bloody Mary?" he asked, and along came a couple of chuckles and confusion in the air. "Why do men act like touch assholes because of different guys making them insecure of their masculinity? Why are children such snotty, bratty gremlins that contribute nothing to society but to be an annoyance to us all?"
From a glance around the room, all eyes averted from their books and the girls and guys who glared him down started focusing more on the middle aged, bearded man's words.
"Of course, most of these people exist, but certainly not all of them make up society as believe, and why? Why are we the way we are, why do we pretend to be pretentious, why are emotional? Either we all have some sort of deranged psychological problems because of society or we haven't fully grasped the complexity of what human nature is, and what it means to develop an ever growing mentality. So now I ask you, what defines your personality?"
After all the laughs and giggles coursed the air, curiosity shaped the looks our faces molded. He then proceeded to describe who he was. I had to say, Mr. Bennett made his students think about what defined their personality on a deeper level, the basis of how they acted and cast judgement on themselves, their peers and the world as a whole in society.
What psychological episodes have we been through to get to the place we are? We're growing still, maybe not in height or otherwise routinely for a man, but our minds changed as our age counted down for our own judgement day.
"Please, tell us about the kind of person you are and how social influences pay a part of it," he told us.
I thought of my answer as a few hands cast in the air, including Chance. When Mr. Bennett came around to him, I tuned in exclusively on hearing his voice.
"What defines my personality are the people around me; the social influence they have, the positivity they express and most importantly, the motivation and encouragement my family has is what makes the man I am today. But... it's not like I can leave out someone else, because without them — without my sister — I truthfully wouldn't be here." Wow... one step closer. Possibly two.
A few more passed before me, and Mr. Bennett soon landed his eyes on mine. I paused for a second, or a minute, and opened my mouth where Chance's ears curled at the sound of my voice. The intent even showed in his face.
"My personality is define by... the behavioural influences from the friends around me, and how my family supports the interests I'm into — if that makes any sense at all." And I know it didn't.
Mr. Bennett coursed through the rest of the class, calling others out. I felt Chance's lips near my ears that curled, his warm breath scuffing the skin and there went my heart. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up in a hospital bed and everything wiped from my mind or something.
"I understand." His words, again, calmed my heart. He needed to just stop before my priorities changed.
Mr. Bennett walked around up to the front when everyone finished, clicked the device in his hand and first began our topic on Social Psychology. Everyone prepared their notes and the day began, for mine the stress we never saw coming and a future hospital visit before I can't straighten my lips ever again.