Karl: Here's my plan.
Step 1: Buy 15 identical cats
Step 2: Invite someone over
Step 3: When they ask how many cats I have, I'll say "one, but he's really fast"
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Sapnap: Fun Christmas idea! Hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it
Slimecicle: Mistlefoe
Purpled: SOMEONES HALLS ARE GETTING DECKED
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Karl: So, what do you guys have planned for Valentine's Day?
Techno: murder
Dream: That's the spirit!
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Tommy: I had a dream that I was getting sorted at hogwarts but I got into an argument with the sorting hat so he made up an entirely new house called "GrungleBunk" just so I would be forced to sit by myself in the dining hall for the rest of my life.
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George: What happens to all your teen angst when you're 20...like where does it go?
Wilbur: They diagnose it as anxiety.
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Purpled: A few days ago I was walking past a basketball court and a ball flew at me and I:
1) didn't flinch
2) caught the ball
3) threw it back at the guy
4) responded to his "thanks bro" with a nod
It was like the ghost of some guy named Chad took over me so I didn't like embarrass myself
Ponk: A bro talked to me today and it caught me very off guard but instead of my voice rising an octave it dropped an octave and I suddenly was effortlessly speaking Bro back to him. This resulted in a very positive interaction!
Thanks, Chad
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Sapnap: I was standing on the bus back from town and the driver suddenly braked really hard and this girl like flew across the bus and somehow I caught her and without thinking I said "I think you just fell for me" and I shit you not the entire bus applauded me
Dream: Dude, you got mad game
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Slimecicle: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be out corned! It's just another day in the corn fields for me.
Wilbur: What?
Slimecicle: I don't know. I woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep.
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Purpled: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4000 degrees for 1 minute
Jack: Grayson nO THATS NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
Purpled: FLOOR IT?
Jack: GRAYSON NO
Purpled: HOW ABOUT 4000000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
Jack: GRAYSON YOU ARE GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN
Purpled: I'M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE THESE COOKIES
Jack: GRAYSON P L E A S E
Wilbur: you are either Jack or Grayson
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Minx: Ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be able to tell you're wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE'S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM
Wilbur: Use the men's room they won't expect it
Schlatt: "Who the fuck is eating chips in here?"
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Skeppy: How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn't cool anymore?
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Purpled: I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL AND HE SAID "I AM CHILL" AND I SAID "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DAD" I DAD JOKED MY DAD I AM THE REVOLUTION
Philza: Hello revolution, I'm dad!
Purpled: A bitter defeat...
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Purpled: Do British people not drink ice tea as much as Americans do? What do they drink during the summer?
Tommy: Tea.
Purpled: But it's hot...
Tommy: Only tea, there are no other drinks, only tea.
Purpled: Wait, what if you don't like tea?
Tommy: Then the weak die.
Wilbur: Natural selection.
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Puffy: One of my favourite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified.
Bad: Stop calling me out.
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Quackity: Why the fuck can't we text the police? Lets say there is a murderer in your house and you're hiding behind the sofa and you have your phone but you can't call the police because the murderer might hear you.
Puffy: I heard that in Canada you can.
Tommy: Here in England we scream and run!
Minx: In Ireland we run towards the murderer.
Techno: What if you are the murderer?
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Techno: If someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool of lemon juice how long do you think it would take them to die?
Purpled: What circle of Dante's inferno did you crawl out of...
Dream: What if you rolled their body in salt first?
George: Easy there, Satan.
Slimecicle: Margarita of P A I N
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Karl: Remember when that's so Raven, Hannah Montana and the suite life of Zack and Cody did a mashup episode and it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to you?
Niki: Why can't doctor who, supernatural and Sherlock do this?
Puffy: Do you realise what the death toll would be?
Techno: Are we talking the characters or the fans?
Puffy: Doesn't matter.
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Quackity: My grandma would always cross out people in her yearbook and write "Deceased" when one of her classmates died. We often found it morbid. Grandma wanted to be the last one living. She wanted to win.
Dream: That's not a yearbook, that's a hit list.
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Karl: At an airport gate they asked for some guy who's name began with P but they didn't finish the name so three guys showed up, their names being Ponk, Punz and Purpled. Random searches have never been so social, I heard they're forming a group together.
Sapnap: I love this so much.
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Tommy: What did people even wear in 2008?
Wilbur: Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur
Purpled: With the fur
Tubbo: The whole club was looking at her
Sapnap: She hit the floor
Karl: Hit the floor
Techno: She broke her pelvis and was rushed to hospital
Quackity: Low low low low low low low low
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A/N
These are actually so fun to make! Some of the tumble threads I found online had to be tweaked so they fit with the characters (the three p's one was about three men all called Mr.Ahmed and they all took a selfie together). I'll probably make more of these soon, I'm actually making them so I can draw them! Anyways thank you for reading!!