Watching officials zip Hughes' body into a bag was surreal.
(Y/n) sat stiffly on the other side of the curb, across from the now empty telephone booth with Riza at her side. Roy had wrapped her in his blazer, one that looked much too similar to the one that Maes had given her after the Fifth Laboratory incident.
She shivered. It was suddenly so cold outside, and no amount of warmth from the Flame Alchemist's coat would make her feel any less like stone. Tears had left a dry trail down her face leading past her chin and into her mouth and nose. Her eyes stung each time she blinked, and every once in a while the tears would come back when she allowed herself to remember everything that she had just seen.
When Roy checked Maes' pulse for the thirtieth time before any military came to the scene of the crime, when he finally let it sink in that his best friend was no longer with him, he slumped back onto his heels and stared down at him blankly. For just a few seconds, he sat there unsure of what to do. The Colonel felt numb, disbelieving of the sight before him and the cries of his daughter that couldn't seem to stop.
It took him a moment to pull her away, getting up and turning around, wrapping his arms around her trembling body and pulling her from the sight as best as he could. She struggled against him, reaching out for the man that was nothing but a memory now as she was pulled farther away. She cried out, clawing against Roy's back and desperately trying to climb over his shoulder as he ushered her back. He winced at the sheer despair, the heartbreak in her voice.
Lifting her off of the ground, he held onto her tightly until she was far away enough for him to block the sight from her with his body. He had to catch her from toppling over his shoulder, for she had almost made her way over him due to the way she was kicking and screaming, climbing upward. His ears rang from the sound, and he knew that this very moment would be engraved into his mind forever. His daughter's anguished cries, the very knowledge of Hughes' body laying behind him in the blood stained telephone booth. There was so much he needed to focus on, he didn't have time to let the loss of his friend settle in yet.
Roy managed to tug (Y/n) down by her waist, allowing him to lift her off of him and onto the ground. He went to his knees with her as she collapsed again, attempting to crawl around him to reach out to the man she once called an uncle.
The onyx eyed man gripped her shoulders tightly. He had never seen her lose control like this, eyes wide with panic and voice going hoarse. He could feel her screams rattle his bones, and the very sound of his daughter having experienced something so traumatizing would ruin him forever.
He had to remain calm, composed for her sake. Speaking as a superior officer outside of his relation to the young girl as a father, he would have told her that soldiers experience this every day. The dogs of the military put their lives on the line the moment they signed up and got accepted into the role. Hughes knew what he had gotten himself into, as the General he knew the risks and he understood that his life could end at any given second. The same thing went for Roy, Armstrong, and any other officer or State Alchemist of the military.
But he could never say that to her. Not to a child, not to his own daughter.
It may have been a distant memory, but (Y/n)'s parents had been killed. That was a loss she had experienced very early on, and though she barely remembered the details she understood the fact that one moment, she had biological parents and the next, they were taken from her. She had managed to fill that emptiness with the love of Roy and others who had grown close to her over the years. Losing Maes was much more than losing her adoptive father's friend. It was losing a family member, a huge piece of her that had formed over the time she spent with the dark haired man and his family. (Y/n) wasn't an idiot. She knew that Maes could have faced death any day, and the same went for Roy. The Ishvalan War had been one of the most stressful times for her due to that fact. But now that he was actually gone, she couldn't understand it.
Roy called her name, fighting against her to get her to look at him rather than trying to look over his shoulder. He should have pulled her away sooner. She shouldn't have had to see that.
(Y/n) was a mess. Eyes bloodshot red and tears mixing into snot as it dribbled down her heated face. Roy's lips tightened into a grimace, realizing that it was harder to stay strong for her than he thought. When she continued to try to move around him, he embraced her tightly and pulled her into his chest. Her sobs became muffled, but remained just as sorrow filled. Eventually she gave up struggling against his firm grasp and slumped into him. Loud sobs slowly morphed into pained moans as she lay still in his hold. Everything had been blinded from her with her face pressed into his jacket, so she turned to the side slightly to breathe with her eyes remaining shut.
Roy exhaled shakily, rocking (Y/n) back and forth to calm her down as his cheek rested against her head. His back ached due to the odd position he was in, but his poor posture was the last thing on his mind. Maes Hughes, the man who had stuck by him through practically everything, was dead. And he couldn't get to him in time.
Riza was the first to arrive upon hearing the screams, and Greed just after for the very same reason. Hawkeye's sentimentality kicked in first upon seeing Roy holding onto (Y/n) so tightly and the said girl limp in his embrace. She was confused at first until she turned to the telephone booth. Her heart instantly ached at the sight.
She hadn't known Hughes on the personal level that the Mustangs did, but she understood the type of person he was and how much he meant to Roy and (Y/n). The blonde couldn't imagine what either of them were going through at the moment, and poor (Y/n) had been exposed to the sight of him lying there, lifelessly. To witness something like that must have been traumatizing.
Greed was annoyed. He should have known that something like this was going to happen. It wasn't like he cared about the guy or even knew much about him, but it pissed him off to know that his former comrades would pull something like this at such a bad time. It pissed him off even more that this was likely his fault.
The Homunculus didn't have much time to examine the scene when he heard a rustle of leaves behind the telephone booth. He looked over and squinted, narrowing his eyes and preparing to summon his Ultimate Shield. He walked closer to the trees, leaning in to investigate but he did not find anything. He grunted, dismissing his shield and walking up to the telephone booth by Riza.
After what had felt like ages, Riza was able to track down some military officials which led to a group of men taking Hughes' body away.
The brown eyed woman wasn't sure what to do as she sat beside (Y/n). Roy was at the booth, talking with another officer about how he had discovered the body and what led to him arriving at Central in the first place. Greed was off to the side, hands shoved in his pockets and keeping his distance as he looked around with a fowl expression.
Riza wanted to comfort (Y/n) somehow, take away the pain of what she saw and remind her that she was there for her. No matter her position in the military or how professional she was meant to portray herself, Riza would always be there for (Y/n). She would always stand by her, to comfort or to even listen to what she had to say if Roy did not have the time. Maybe it had been her closeness to the Colonel that sparked her to care for (Y/n) so much, but why she felt the need to be there for her didn't matter. What mattered was that she chose to be there for her, along with any other officer of the military that had gotten close to her over the past ten years.
The blonde was about to lift her arm to place it comfortingly around (Y/n)'s shoulder when a shadow loomed over the two. Riza looked up and her face darkened instantly at the sight of one of King Bradley's body guards standing before them. He was looking down at (Y/n) with a stern expression, though the said girl did not bother to look up at him. Riza doubted that she even realized he was there, watching her.
The First Lieutenant stood before the guard, face hard and unforgiving of the man glaring down at the child that had just lost someone she loved. He finally met her gaze with cold eyes to tell her that (Y/n) was needed by the Fuhrer, as well as the Flame Alchemist.
Riza was close to interrogating the man when Roy stepped in, breaking up the conversation and agreeing with the guard's demands for both himself and (Y/n). His blonde Lieutenant looked at him with a mix of uncertainty and incredulousness, questioning why he would walk directly into the lion's den after what had transpired this evening. When he gave her a certain look out of the corner of his eye communicating his intentions, Riza's face fell stoic and she turned outward, falling back into her proper military role.
The trust she had in Roy was the only thing preventing her from arguing with his decision.
The ebony haired alchemist crouched down to look at his daughter. He sighed, staring at the puffiness of her skin and the drops of tears collected in her lashes. He ran his gloved hand over her forehead, the smell of ash consuming (Y/n)'s senses as his transmutation glove ran over her hot skin. The familiar scent brought her eyes to his, and her eyes looked more tired than they ever had been in her life.
(Y/n) didn't say anything as Roy helped his daughter to his feet and wrapped a protective arm around her. He looked Bradley's guard dead in the eye before he allowed him to escort them to Bradley's office.
Riza huffed as she watched the pair get led away. As they left, Greed approached her from the other side of the pavement. He kept his head tilted the opposite way to prevent anyone from taking in his appearance.
"I take it they're going to Bradley," he mumbled.
"That's what it looks like," she murmured, standing straight forward.
"Listen," Greed began, swiping his finger under his nose. "Be careful, alright? Pride's hanging around here and he's off his leash. That means anyone can be a target, especially you."
Riza side-eyed him subtly. "And why is that?"
"You're the Flame Alchemist's lap dog. My suggestion is that you ditch the Colonel. He'd understand, wouldn't he? Certainly if it's for your own safety." he said casually.
The blonde hummed, looking back forward to the trees swaying behind the vacant telephone booth. The crisp early morning air had grown stuffy, contaminated with the stench of tragedy and eerie secrecy. She breathed in deeply.
"Wherever he goes, I go."
Greed rolled his eyes at the sound of another human choosing death over freedom for the sake of attachment. "You'll die," he deadpanned. "You saw what happened to that guy, if you screw around anymore you just might be next."
Riza nodded slightly, closing her eyes in a calm manner. "Then so be it."
"Why do I even bother," the Homunculus scoffed. His arms tightened across his chest as he stared down the opposite way of the path, facing one way while Riza faced the other beside him. He gritted his teeth in frustration, knowing that deep down he wished to have someone risk their life for him the way that Riza was willing to for Roy.
Edward had never felt so stiff in his life. As he sat across from the Fuhrer, Alphonse by his side, he felt like if he moved even an inch he'd face dire consequences. Worse, he felt that the wrong move would result in someone he cared about getting hurt. If he could just remain still, remain unresponsive he could begin to make up for all the turmoil that he'd caused.
He wasn't sure what was going to happen next. The blonde had snapped out of his traumatized daze when Heymans was sent to Armstrong in a room separate from this. Bradley hadn't spoken much of a word since the three of them sat down. The room was lit by a dim, yellow light above the table they sat at, giving the room a much more unsettling feel. The tea that had been set before the fifteen year old was going cold, as well as Alphonse's. Edward wasn't terribly sure why he had given the boy tea, for he knew that Alphonse had no body to consume it.
Edward also noticed two empty teacups sitting on his other side, making him question who else Bradley had been expecting. He watched the Fuhrer with blazing gold eyes as he sipped his tea politely. The Fuhrer's face was calm, almost making the boys question whether the sin he embodied truly was Wrath.
Edward would have preferred it if he suddenly lashed out, living up to his enraged emotion by jumping onto the table and yelling out, swiping his swords through the air in an attempt to kill one of them amidst the blinding red in his eyes. Somehow, that would have been more comforting. But his calmness was worse. How could someone be so calm at a time like this? There was nothing to be calm about, and Bradley was behaving as if it were any normal day. As if his routine was to drink a cup of tea with his supposed superiors at one in the morning.
The door finally creaked open behind them after a solid knock, letting in a significant amount of light from the hallway. The Elrics turned to see who was entering and froze when they saw their best friend and the Colonel. Edward's heart must have cracked in two at the sight of (Y/n)'s face. He had missed her so much over the past week, and now that he was finally seeing her he wished he hadn't. Both her eyes and the Colonel's lacked its usual glimmer, instead their eyes looked flat. A clear sign of them having seen something they did not need to. The Fullmetal Alchemist felt like crying. (Y/n), whose face once held a particular brightness that could illuminate a room with a simple flash of a smile, looked completely broken down. Rather than lighting up this already dark and dreary room, her aura darkened it even more. It was as if her very existence could control the mood of any given area.
The Empath Alchemist's eyes snapped up to look at the boys she hadn't seen in seven days. She heard Al whisper her name while Ed said nothing. She looked to Edward, and when they locked eyes her frown deepened. She caught a sight of the blood on his shirt and visibly began to inwardly panic until she was given a look that told her it wasn't what she initially thought.
The only reason why she had peered upward was because she had walked into a suffocating feeling, one that leveled with the horrid weight in her chest. One that felt all too familiar for it to go unnoticed. She gulped, forcing down the lump in her throat as she looked into Edward's breathtakingly sad eyes.
Dark blue and black. Deeper than she had sensed it when they first met.
The colors swirled around the small boy, consuming the entirety of the space only because it had nowhere more to go. If the window had been open, the colors would have been pouring out of the ledge and spreading into the early morning air. That was how intense this feeling of guilt felt as she looked at Ed and took in his emotions. This was no better than when she walked into their home in Resembool four years ago, in fact it reminded her far too much of that moment. The moment that led her to devote her life to helping the Elric brothers. Looking at where they were now, the life that had been lost and the corruption of the military that was meant to help them, (Y/n) couldn't help but feel guilty as well. This was all her fault. All of it. Hughes wouldn't be dead if he hadn't been trying to protect her from the Homunculi. Everything that went down tonight had been because of her. Edward had nothing to blame himself for, not for his brother and not for Hughes' untimely death. This was her burden, her blame to take. She had even failed in washing away those dreadful dark colors, the colors that had made her swear to help the boy in any way she could. Because of her, Edward was drowning once again.
The guard closed the door behind them, the room enveloping in eerie closeness once more. Both Roy and (Y/n) had been told to strip their gloves from their hands as a precaution before they had entered the room. Roy refused to release his hand from (Y/n)'s shoulder as he made eye contact with the Fuhrer, the man he had dreamt to overpower.
"I'm glad you could make it. Please, have a seat," he said kindly, though everyone in the room knew that this was not a suggestion. Roy noticed that (Y/n)'s eyes were still locked with Ed's, causing him to lead her from the door and to the seat beside the blonde. Roy sat on her other side rather closely, displeased with the fact that his daughter had to be stuffed into a room with a man he was growing to despise more than he had before.
Bradley stood and grabbed the tea kettle that had been sitting behind him on his tidy desk.
Neither Ed nor (Y/n) knew how to address the other. Al watched as they looked at each other, unsure of what to say or where to even begin. They both knew that now wasn't the time for them to talk with each other about all that happened, about all they were sorry for, but they couldn't ignore the clear hurt in each other's eyes. (Y/n) clenched her jaw, desperately trying not to cry again, yet Edward saw the slightest flutter of her lashes and the flare of her nostrils. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and comfort her, caress away the pain. He hated seeing her like this, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it all hurt even more.
Underneath the table, unbeknownst to the eyes of those around them, Edward reached for (Y/n)'s shaking hand and interlaced his fingers with hers, resting their connected hands on his thigh.
The (h/c) haired girl's brows twitched slightly, a sign that his gesture moved her. He looked away from her as Bradley leaned over the table to pour tea into their cups. The combination of the warmth from Ed's hand and his thumb rubbing circles into her skin almost made her break down, but she knew she had to somewhat keep herself together while she sat before the Fuhrer.
Roy glared down at his reflection in the freshly poured tea.
"I'm sorry if it's a little cool now. I made tea about thirty minutes ago, I expected you to be here a little sooner," the dark haired man said, sitting back down. "But no matter. Let's get things sorted, shall we?"
"By the looks of your faces, you know what had to be done to the General. I'm beginning to think that you actually saw it yourselves." (Y/n)'s hand tightened in Ed's at the mention of his name, and Edward gave it a squeeze. Roy, on the other hand, was terribly silent. (Y/n) was beginning to sense a distinct red color, one that was only beginning to form. She furrowed her brows slightly at the feeling, as if it were burning into her brain. She looked at Roy out of the corner of her eye, worried about the uncomfortable emotion she was starting to sense from him.
The lack of response allowed Bradley to continue. "You understand that as long as you are able to hinder Father's plans and my position here, there will be severe issues followed by severe ramifications. Therefore some changes need to be made.
"As Father said to you, Elrics, you will be staying in separate parts of the country until further notice. (Y/n) will be with Edward."
"What?" Roy snapped, voice terrifyingly low.
"As for you, Colonel, you'll be transferred here to Central Command."
(Y/n) could tell that Roy was on the verge of jumping up and refusing, but he knew better than to do that. He knew that there was nothing he could do if this was coming from the Father, himself.
"Where are you sending them?" he asked lowly.
"The Fullmetal and Empath Alchemists will be traveling to Resembool, back to Edward's home town. Alphonse Elric will be sent to Briggs with Falman, under the Major General Armstrong."
Roy narrowed his brows. "Falman? What does he have to do with any of this?"
Bradley gave him an expressionless look. "Everything. You should know that, he's part of your unit," the Homunculus interlocked his fingers. "Tonight made us realize how much of a troublemaker you are, Roy Mustang. As long as you have a group of officers within your grasp as well as the loyalty of these three, we're all going to have problems. The best thing to do is to split you up. Falman will be reassigned to the North, Heymans the West, Feury the South, and Hawkeye, here as my personal assistant."
Everyone in the room was taken aback by the last thing he mentioned. The teens slowly looked over to Roy, to see how he'd react to his right hand woman being taken away from him. Not only that, but being forced to serve under the man he hated- the man Riza had constantly been ordered to be weary of.
Roy visibly trembled with anger, but once again he had to remain composed.
"And Havoc?"
Edward cringed, tilting his head downward slightly as if bracing himself for what was about to come. (Y/n) and Roy noticed how the boys reacted and dread filled their stomachs, the thought of Havoc meeting the same fate as Hughes corrupting their minds for only a moment before Bradley spoke.
"Why don't you explain what happened to the Second Lieutenant, Edward?"
The blonde could feel (Y/n)'s hand trembling, afraid of what he was about to say. Edward looked up at the Colonel and his daughter, watching the anxiety flicker across their faces, for they were expecting more terrible news.
"Lieutenant Jean Havoc was attacked by Pride and severely wounded. I didn't see what happened, but while he was talking with Lust, Pride must have taken him by surprise. I found him bleeding from his torso. There was a lot of blood, but the Fuhrer carried him off before we were forced to see the Father. As far as I know, he's still alive. But... his injuries were pretty bad," Edward explained softly, looking away from the Mustangs' gazes.
They both let out inaudible breaths of relief, simply happy that another person didn't die tonight. Hearing that Havoc was injured was not something to celebrate about though, especially since Edward emphasized how bad it was.
Bradley chimed back in. "Yes, Jean Havoc is fine. He's in the hospital wing receiving treatment. But he will be in no shape to fight or serve under you again, I can tell you that for a fact Colonel. He will likely have to retire, therefore I'm not worried about what happens to him."
"...Retire?" Roy repeated in a hushed voice, as if he were arguing with himself over whether this information was true or not. "Retire," he said once more, this time as if he were attempting to accept it. (Y/n) grimaced, praying internally that Havoc wasn't doing as badly as it seemed he was. "All of this... and we didn't even attack you tonight. We weren't trying to hurt you or anything, and this is how you react?"
"It doesn't matter if you were simply walking past our base or trying to kill us. It matters if it interferes with what Father has in store for you. That's all it takes, and now you know."
(Y/n) caught on to how Bradley said 'you', as if referring to everyone in the room. She could have sworn that the only human sacrifices being sought out were herself, the Elric brothers, and their father. Why did he address Roy as if he were thrown into the mix as well?
Wrath must have noticed the way her depressed expression twisted into that of confusion. "You're wondering why I referred to Roy as part of Father's plan, are you young (Y/n)?" She looked up at him slowly. "I suppose no one told you that your father is a prime candidate for sacrifice as well."
Her eyes widened, and the boys around her appeared to be just as shocked. "What are you talking about?" her shaky voice gasped. "The only sacrifices are me, the boys, and Hohenheim. Why would you need Roy too?"
"Four sacrifices aren't enough. There has to be five."
"No, no- you can't have him too. I won't let you, there has to be another way," she heaved. Roy looked over to her with concern as Edward's hand tightened around hers. "I'm serious! You've already taken Hughes, a-and Ed and Al are already a part of this. You can't drag Roy into this too, I'm begging you. I'm the main key to all of this, right? Just use me again or something, I don't know! Please, not my dad too. Please."
Bradley looked at her unimpressed, his eyes showing how lowly he thought of the person before him. "There's many reasons as to why your pleading is pointless," he said flatly. "Number one, Roy's been a possible candidate for a week. That's long enough for Father to confirm his involvement. Two, sacrifice does not work like how you just described. There is no changing the rules or using a person twice, there has to be five sacrifices. That's it. Three, you are either terribly naive or incredibly pompous to believe that you can make up for the lack of a sacrifice.
"I don't like you. In fact, none of the Homunculi except that traitor do. You make us rather angry and Father's too caught up with himself to see how you're a main part of our problems. You'll accept what has to be done or more people will get killed. You're not special, you can't stop this the way you think you can. Give it up."
"Don't talk to her like that," Edward grumbled. "It's your fault she's even in this position, so you should either deal with how you've made her feel or shut up about it. Don't complain because your Father put this burden onto her. You think she asked to be labeled as 'special' by a Homunculus who plans to kill an entire country full of people?"
"I don't care. You all just need to accept it."
"Fine. Then accept the fact that none of this is her fault. She just happened to get caught up in it. The next time I hear one of you Homunculi talk about her like she's nothing, I won't be so forgiving."
"Is defending your friend's name really worth Winry Rockbell's life?"
"Don't you dare go there."
"Then stop arguing."
Edward clenched his jaw and slumped back into his seat, silently obeying his demand. (Y/n) looked to him then to Alphonse, wondering why Winry was a part of this conversation. Alphonse shook his head, as if to tell her not to worry about it at the moment. She gulped and turned back forward, bouncing her knee up and down restlessly.
"I'm sure you won't try anything stupid now, but to ensure that you will not return to Central unless told to do so, I'll have people on the lookout for you. The second one of you sets foot in or out of Central, Winry will be killed. Understand?"
(Y/n)'s chest rose and fell rapidly, getting herself worked up at the thought of someone else dying because of her. She flinched when Roy placed his hand on her shoulder as if to tell her to calm down.
"Fine," he said. "Is that all? Because I'd like to ask you something."
The Fuhrer looked at him with a cold expression, but said nothing as if to tell him to proceed with his question.
"How do you do this?" Roy chuckled darkly. "How do you walk around, greeting people who put their faith in you? Who willingly put their lives in your hands? How do you call yourself the Fuhrer of this county and lead these people to their deaths? How do you go home to your wife everyday, knowing that she'll be dead in weeks because of you? I don't understand it."
It was silent before the Fuhrer decided to respond. "Is this your attempt at making me feel some sort of remorse?"
"I'm only asking, sir."
Bradley hummed disapprovingly. "In that case, it's not much of a complicated question because there is no complicated answer. I signed up for this, I knew what I was doing when I was chosen as Father's Wrath. I knew what I was getting myself into, and what I'd have to do."
"What do you mean 'when Father chose you'?" Alphonse asked.
"Each of us Homunculi are different. You must have noticed that much. Greed needed a body to inhabit, Pride is far more animalistic than human, and I can age. I was raised learning how to become the Fuhrer, I was raised to die or reign. It's as simple as that. I'm the only one who could successfully take on Wrath, much like how Ling Yao's body is able to withstand Greed. This, what you frown upon and envy Mustang, is what I have always been meant to do. I am able to do it because I know nothing else."
(Y/n) closed her eyes and breathed in and out as best as she could. She felt like she was suffocating again, the combination of her grief, Edward's colorful guilt, and the growing hatred that she sensed inside of Mustang weighing down on her. She felt the cool metal of Ed's right hand land overtop of hers, her hand encased in both of his as he looked down at his lap.
"As for my wife, she knew what she signed up for by marrying me. I chose her specifically as my spouse, so I'd prefer if you'd refrain from talking about her," Bradley finished. "Does that answer your question?"
"Sure. Just one last thing," Roy began. "Did you kill Maes Hughes?"
The room fell eerily silent. (Y/n) keep her eyes scrunched closed while Alphonse and Ed sat silently, guiltily, knowingly. Wrath glanced out the boys briefly before he replied.
"No."
-
Father allowed them to stay for Maes Hughes' funeral, which took place rather quickly. A week after the incident, fellow officers and family members gathered to watch the General get lowered down into the ground, a proper military send off organized for the heartbreaking event. (Y/n) stayed by the Elrics and Roy during the ceremony. She couldn't bring herself to get any closer to Elicia or Gracia. Maes' daughter had been screaming and crying the entire time, confused as to why her father was being placed into a hole in the ground. Alphonse kept his hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders for most of the ceremony as her body trembled as a result of trying to prevent herself from sobbing aloud.
As soon as the ceremony ended, the Elrics and (Y/n) were sent away. Mustang's Unit had been separated immediately after the night Hughes died, therefore there was no way for (Y/n) to find them and say goodbye for the time being. Havoc had been resting in bed for the past week, unable to move his legs. He had been paralyzed for the waist down, leading him to make the choice of retiring much to Roy's disappointment. Though Havoc begged him to move on, Roy still visited him every day to tell him how he and (Y/n) were doing.
A week without Riza in an environment he had been unfamiliar with had taken a large toll on the Flame Alchemist, and the hatred that was festering inside him was only the root of the awful feeling in his chest. The Elrics had told the Mustangs who the supsect Hughes' murder was, and though (Y/n) was frozen with shock and disgust, Roy was fuming. These days, all he felt when he woke up and went to sleep was anger. All consuming anger that exhausted him and blinded him from how it was affecting his own daughter. Most of the time, his vision was clouded with red. Whenever he walked down the hall, his face was neutral yet a terrible storm was brewing inside his mind. He needed to find Envy, but he knew that this would be easier said than done. The Homunculus was likely in hiding, for he assumed that he wasn't dumb enough to parade around Central while Roy was practically a ticking time bomb. He hadn't been successful in finding him anyway. He had taken a few days to scour the city and found nothing, and he cursed Bradley when he reached the border- the limit to where he was allowed to go.
He pondered over using (Y/n) to sniff out the Homunculus, for her ability came in handy when it came to detecting danger and other artificial humans. But he knew better to do that. The second the thought crossed his mind, he beat himself up for even entertaining the idea. His daughter was not a tool. He would not use her to satiate his anger and vengeance. He would just have to wait. It had only been a week, and he couldn't understand how Scar had the patience to wait so long to attack the military.
When he found himself comparing his mindset to that of Scar's, Roy knew that he was losing himself. He tried to remain self aware, but the hatred was far too strong. His best friend didn't deserve to die, and for that crime Envy would inevitably pay. Without Riza or (Y/n)'s voices of reason to snap him out of whatever trance he was falling under, he had more room to grow even more resentful.
(Y/n) hadn't expected it to be so hard to say goodbye to Alphonse. She had been crying a lot over the past week, stowing herself away in her state provided hotel room. Roy had been terribly busy with 'work', so Edward was the one to visit her each day to check up on her mental health. Some nights he'd watch her cry, others he'd try to take her mind off it. They hadn't spoken about it, but they knew what was going on in each other's minds. He just felt that it was better to be there beside her more than anything else.
The day before the funeral and before they boarded their train, (Y/n) decided to visit the Hughes residence. It was probably one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. Elicia clung to her like a koala to a tree as she sat before Gracia, the woman (Y/n) always viewed as a mother figure. (Y/n) could tell that she was trying her best to be strong for her, but the distinct black aura surrounding the green eyed woman proved how she was feeling inside. When Gracia hugged the fifteen year old goodbye, she could feel the slightest tremble in her shoulders.
(Y/n) cried herself through the night after she left.
Alphonse told her that he loved her as they were saying goodbye, which she appreciated deeply. He told her as a reminder that his brother was not the only Elric who cared for her, and he told her in case he never got the chance to again. He did the same to his brother, who smiled wobbly up at him and told him that they'd be together again soon.
When (Y/n) turned to Roy, she noticed how emotionless he appeared to be. She knew that he was not handling Hughes' death well at all, and the scorching red color that surrounded him whenever he patted her head half heartedly was proof of that. She didn't want to leave him alone, especially now that he was alone without Riza or any other members of his unit.
"Are you going to be alright?" she asked as Edward took both his and her luggage onto the train.
Roy smiled lightly, placing his hand atop hers. "'Course I will. Don't even worry about me, you just take good care of yourself."
The way he spoke to her contradicted with his weary appearance. The beginnings of stubble had begun to sprout on his chin and his hair was ruffled. Heavy bags resided under his eyes and the smile he gave her did not reach his eyes.
(Y/n)'s heart clenched at the sight as well as the fact that she would be away from him for a long time. Before, she would have jumped at the chance to gain some independence. For Roy had watched her like a hawk for so long, but now she wished that he would fight harder to allow her to stay with him. She didn't want to leave, for when she returned he would have fallen farther into his hatred.
She inhaled sharply, throwing herself into his chest and hugging him tightly. She felt his hands rub her head, causing her to hug him tighter.
"I love you," she said into his uniform.
Never once had Roy verbally told (Y/n) that he loved her, though it never mattered because (Y/n) could feel the love emitting from him whenever she told him. This time, when he said nothing, it felt different. As if his hatred was far stronger than any love he had for her.
Roy closed his eyes and smiled when (Y/n) pulled away, and she returned the energy by giving him a fake smile as well. His mind was too busy for him to catch on to the mask.
(Y/n) climbed into the train and sat down across Edward with a sigh, looking out the window to wave at her father and Al. They waved back as the train pulled out of the station, leaving the Empath and Fullmetal Alchemists alone together.
Edward noticed the crease in her brow as she looked out of the window. He gazed at her features, and how different she looked from when she had left in Rush Valley. Her eyes looked more exhausted, and her lips no longer curled into a bright smile. Instead, they remained in a straight line or curled slightly upward.
He watched her rest her head against the window, her mind traveling to a place that Edward was sure he understood.
"...You see it too, don't you?" his soft, honey like voice spoke up. (Y/n) gazed at him, wondering what he meant for a moment before she realized. If Edward could tell how Roy was spiraling, then it must have been much worse than she thought.
"Yeah. I do," she said quietly.
As (Y/n) drifted into a much needed nap, Edward watched her with soft eyes. He would have given anything to take away the stress and pain she was feeling. Of course grieving was a normal part of life, but he wished he could have done something to make her feel at ease. Even in her sleep, she looked like she was fighting something. Her brows were furrowed and her face looked as if she were in distress, and if Edward could have taken the nightmares from her mind he would have.
He remembered all the times she had made him feel better. The times he would be drowning in regret, waking up in the middle of the night or from a nap in a cold sweat. She'd be there, either physically or mentally. The thought of her face and her smile always seemed to put him at ease, it always made him feel less alone. Did he do that for her? Could he do that for her? He wasn't sure. He had already caused enough trouble in her life, he didn't want to cause any more damage.
Edward exhaled slowly. Even in suffering, even amidst all the horrible things happening around her and the feeling of emptiness she was experiencing due to the loss of Hughes, she was still so beautiful. The alchemist couldn't fathom how someone could be so ethereally stunning both on the inside and outside no matter what circumstances they were under. Science couldn't explain that, alchemy couldn't explain that. It was just (Y/n).
Why did he admire her so much? Why did he want to sooth her pain so badly? To hold her hand? To hug her? To hold her face in his hands and look at her in a way that he never thought to before? To take in her presence? To kiss her?
The older Elric ran a hand over his face, questioning whether it was even appropriate to think about his best friend like that at a time like this.
The entire incident with Hughes made him realize how quickly life could end, and how important it was to appreciate the people he loved. What if he wasn't strong enough to protect (Y/n) the way she tried so hard to protect him? He couldn't bear the thought of losing her to whatever Father was planning. (Y/n) was literally the reason he fought so hard, the reason he was so stubborn, so determined aside from his brother. He'd said it before and he would continue to say it a hundred times over, she was a constant in his life. A constant that made him feel like he could accomplish anything as long as she remained by his side. A constant that made him want to jump for joy when she smiled and curl into a ball when she frowned. She meant so much to him, and imagining a life without her was absolute hell.
This feeling ran deeper than friendship, he began to understand that much during the time the two spent apart. He cared for her, but platonically was not the correct description for that admiration. His emotions ran far too deep. The blonde watched her lashes flutter and her nose scrunch slightly. He stood and shed his red coat, leaning over to lay it overtop of (Y/n)'s body. When he sat back down, her expression calmed and she nuzzled her face further into the soft fabric.
Ed smiled lightly before turning to look out of the window, watching the greenery pass as they neared his hometown- where everything started. He wasn't entirely sure how things were going to play out from now on. Being split from his brother was not something he was happy about. Overprotectiveness aside, he knew that Alphonse could handle himself.
He was with (Y/n) now, and who knew how long they were going to be stuck together. All he knew was that he would take advantage of the time he was being given with her. The Promised Day aside, he would make sure that she stayed safe. He would be sure to make her smile again, that was a promise.
Granny was more than surprised when she saw Edward and his dear friend hiking up the hill as the sun set behind them. She greeted them happily, but when she received half hearted smiles in return she knew that something was wrong. She guided them inside, and a wave of nostalgia hit the teenagers.
For Edward, it was the comforting creak in the wooden floors that Granny and Winry had never bothered to fix. It was the scent of pine from the yard combined with the aroma of stew boiling over the pot, the cool wooden table beneath his fingertips where he would sit glaring down at his glass of milk, stubbornly pushing it away and arguing with both Winry and her grandmother about why he didn't want to consume it. It was the rows of pictures that decorated the wall as they entered, delightful memories of picking flowers for his mother and walking to school with his brother by his side filling his mind. The way his gaze always casted away from the one family picture that hung in the center of a sea of happy memories- one that stood out among the rest with a edge of a picture above hanging over the corner and blocking out a face that he despised resembled him so much.
For (Y/n), it was the feeling that rushed her whenever she walked through the door. The fear that she would turn the corner and see a broken boy in a wheelchair and his timid younger brother standing close by him, unsure of what to say or do. It was the smell of freshly cut grass that used to scratch her skin whenever she sat to watch Edward and Alphonse spar during visits. It was the kindness she'd felt from the Rockbell family, and the secrets she'd share with a younger blonde mechanic who giggled at the sight of Edward getting thrown to the ground by his bulkier brother. It was the fresh, country wind rippling through her clothes as she stood on the stone railing that led up to the house- the way she'd stretch her arms out and pretend that she was on top of the world, watching sheep graze at a far distance and the sun hide behind the clouds. It was the first time she met Ed and Al, and the first time the boys had changed her life. It was the memory of making her first and closest friend.
Edward and (Y/n) sat across from each other at the table as they explained everything that happened with Maes, leaving out the Homunculi and the Promised Day of course. They told her that he'd been killed on duty, and that was as much of a description as they gave the older woman on his death. Granny listened earnestly, detecting that a few things were being left out, but she didn't comment on it. She sat their bowls of stew before them and apologized to them both for all that they had to go through. Edward tried to steer the conversation's topic onto what Granny had been doing while he was gone, and as much as (Y/n) tried to stay engaged she couldn't. Her mind would continue to drift off to the sight of Hughes' body lying right before her, yet so far out of reach. She stared down at her food with wide eyes, something Edward had caught her doing on multiple occasions throughout the week. When Granny asked her if she was alright, she responded with a kind 'I'm fine,' just as she always did when something was wrong.
(Y/n) finished her food out of politeness for Granny, though she hadn't been hungry at all, and retreated to Winry's room that Granny had let her stay in. Edward's eyes followed her from the moment she stood to the moment she disappeared into her room.
"Poor girl," Granny muttered, placing her fork down and reaching for the pipe that sat across from her. "Pain is written all over her face."
"I know," Edward mumbled, frowning down at the half empty bowl that no longer seemed appetizing. "I don't know how to help her."
"Well, you can't rush these things, now can you?" she sighed, placing the pipe's tail between her lips. "You've gotta let her come to you while also letting her know that you're there if she needs you."
"She knows I'm here. Maybe I need to back off a little bit," he sighed. "All she ever does is look out for me and make sure Al and I are safe and happy. I want to do that same for her but... I don't want to make things worse. I hate that she even has to go through this. I don't know how many more times I can handle watching her cry."
As Granny lit her pipe, she examined Edward's heartfelt expression. The headstrong little boy who refused help from those around him had allowed (Y/n) to show him love. The grey haired woman didn't think she had ever seen Edward so fixated on the likes of anyone other than himself and his brother before.
"Give it time, Ed," she said quietly. "If your relationship is as strong as I think it is, you've already done what you could to return the favor."
"I really hope so," he murmured, resting his cheek in his palm as he twirled his spoon in between his automail fingers. He looked up at Granny, watching as the smoke fell past her lips and formed a cloud over the table. "Hey Granny?"
She turned to him. "Hm?"
"Thank you. For everything."
The older woman stared at Edward with a look of shock, which morphed back into its normal expression. "You may be a pain in my ass half of the time, but I know you're grateful. You should try picking up a phone every once in a while, though."
Ed chuckled slightly. "Yes, ma'am. Winry told me that same."
Her features softened at the mention of her granddaughter's name. "How's she doing, by the way?"
Ed gulped, remembering what Father threatened to do if he disobeyed him.
"Great. Hard at work, she's doing an amazing job. As always, you know," he said. "She seems really happy there. Like she's found a purpose, something to keep her going."
Granny hummed, a smile grazing her lips. "I'm glad to hear it. She calls me from time to time, letting me know how things are going. It's just hard to tell if she really means it when she tells me things are fine over the phone."
"Don't even worry about her. She couldn't be happier in Rush Valley."
"Good. And you and your brother? Aside from the chaos it seems you've found yourselves roped up in, how's the search for your bodies?"
"Could be better right now. We had to put everything on hold for a second... but (Y/n) helped us find something that allowed us to take a step forward. So- we'll be back on our feet in no time. I mean it."
"I've got no doubts," she nodded. "I don't know the real reason why you came to stay or why Alphonse is up North, but I'm glad you're here. By the looks of it, this is a much needed break for you."
Edward couldn't help but feel conflicted about what Granny had just said. "Yeah. I guess so."
When late night came, Edward could not sleep. This was no surprise to him, but it was hard to relax in his pitch black room. He sighed and sat up, his hair brushing his shoulders as he pulled the sheets from his legs and stood on the ground. He'd never been unable to sleep in his childhood room, but he had no reason to question it. Sleep was scarce these days.
Edward found himself wandering around the dark home, unsure of if he was hungry and wanted to grab something to eat or if he preferred to step outside to clear his mind. As he prepared himself to silently walk by the room (Y/n) was staying in, he noticed that the door was open. He peeked inside, and the moonlight casted its gaze onto an empty bed through the window. The blonde clenched his jaw, padding outside to where he assumed (Y/n) had gone. He opened and closed the front door softly, looking around and stumbling his way through the darkness when he heard the dangle of a collar.
He turned and noticed someone sitting out in the yard against a large tree, the figure of Den snuggling up into someone's arm coming into a clearer vision as he walked closer. (Y/n) must have heard feet padding against the grass, for she turned over her shoulder to see if Granny had noticed that she was gone. To her relief, it was just Edward. He was relieved to see that she wasn't crying, in fact she looked rather calm as her hand ran over Den's fur, the black dog happily nuzzling into the warmth of her hand as she rested her head on her lap.
(Y/n) smiled softly up at Ed as he sat down beside her, resting his back against the tree. He noticed that she seemed to be in a state of lightness, her eyes half lidded and her large shirt draping over her body. She hadn't slept a wink, she couldn't have even if she tried. The nap she took on the train, which had been rather short, was all her mind was willing to give her as far as rest went.
"Hi," she whispered. She could barely make out his features, for the stars in the sky and the moon did very little to light up their faces. Still, she could see the smoothness of his skin and the gold in his eyes that seemed to stand out anywhere he went.
"Hi," he whispered back, looking down at the dog closing its eyes as (Y/n) continued to pet her. "Couldn't sleep?"
"No. You?"
"Not a wink."
(Y/n) smiled again, though it was not her normal bright smile it seemed to be more authentic than the smiles she had given him over the past week.
"Where do you think people go when they die?" she asked, her voice smooth as silk. There was no reason for her to whisper, but she felt that if she raised her voice she would have disturbed the peace.
Edward's brows furrowed slightly as he turned to look at her, wondering if she really wanted the answer that he was about to provide.
"Don't look at me like that. Just answer with what you think."
"Okay," he mumbled, shifting slightly when he realized how close he was to her. He cleared his throat, gazing up at the sky. "Well, I'm sure you know how I feel about the topic but... I don't believe in the afterlife or living on as a spirit when you're dead. We're only humans, we can't live forever. And we can't yank souls back into their bodies, nor can we bring people back to live. Al and I are proof of that. But then again, I guess I'm not entirely sure if spirits remain or not after all. I managed to pull my mother back... but only for a short time before- well, you know. I'm not sure if it meant that her soul was already intact or if the alchemy formulated her soul again? I don't know, it's all so complicated and hard to put into words. I can't say I believe in anything like heaven or hell either. If there really was an afterlife like that, is it really as simple as the good and bad? The wicked and the saintly? If heaven is where only good people go, and hell is where bad people go... then where would I go?
"I've made so many mistakes. I'm not perfect, and it's humanly impossible to be perfect. That's why I don't understand the concept of heaven and hell. What if you're good, but have done some bad things? And what if you've spent your entire life doing bad, but finally decided to turn things around and do good? I'm rambling, but that's something I'll never understand. Maybe I'm just too scared of entertaining the idea that I could be damned for life."
(Y/n) hummed quietly, and Edward wasn't sure if that was the answer she was looking for but it was how he felt.
"You know what I think?" she said, and Ed watched her intently as she continued. "I think that our souls and spirits live on. Not to decipher Truth, but I think they live to comfort the people they love. To let them know that they haven't left, that they still love them and watch over them. I can't say whether heaven or hell exists, but I'm not opposed to believing it. I just don't think life ends indefinitely. I can't imagine someone dying and then their souls and spiritual connections just ceasing to exist. I know it's strange for me to say as an alchemist, but if Hughes were really gone, would I still see his smile so easily when I close my eyes? Would I feel his hand on my shoulder as vividly as I do when I walk down the street?
"Maybe I'm holding onto something I shouldn't... I don't know, maybe it's not right for me to think that way. I can only imagine how Mrs. Hughes and Elicia feel right now. But... he's someone I can't imagine actually being gone. It doesn't feel right to think about it that way. The same goes for your mother and for Winry's parents. They meant too much for them to have just disappeared. I'm sorry if this is offensive..."
"It's not," he said calmly.
"I just... I want something to hold onto. Thinking about his life scientifically doesn't make sense to me. My entire name is the Empath Alchemist- it's literally a paradox within itself. I'm not sure how I can be a scientist yet be so open to thinking spiritually at the same time. Maybe it's my empathy or a distinct balance between my right and left brain? Does that even make sense? I don't know anymore. I just know that someone like Hughes doesn't just cease to exist. If immortality is possible, why can't this be?"
(Y/n) smiled down at Den as she began to drift to sleep. Tears welled up in her eyes, though she was quick to brush them away with her shoulder.
"Is that childish?"
"No. I kind of wish I could think like you sometimes, if I'm being honest," Ed said. "Listen, I'll give you space if you need it. I just don't like the idea of you being alone right now."
"No," she said quickly, yet her voice was still hushed. Her hand flew to grip Ed's bare arm, and he flinched at the feeling of her soft hand meeting his skin. He looked at her nervously, yet the feeling faded when he saw the pleading in her (e/c) eyes, reflecting the light of the moon- the light emphasizing the glossy rims. "You don't know how much I appreciate you being with me. Yes, sometimes I want to be left alone, but you- you're always here for me. And if I didn't want you to be around you, you'd instantly leave. I know that you know me well enough to do that."
"Yeah," he whispered, heart pounding as (Y/n) looked into his eyes. "I'm always gonna be here, even if you don't want me to be."
"Edward..." she started, looking across his face as if trying to etch every single detail into her brain. "I don't ever want to lose you."
The blonde's heart was practically ringing in his ears as his body tensed, yet as her hand trailed up the side of his arm and to his shoulder his muscles couldn't help but relax under her touch.
"You won't," he promised, his voice hardly above a whisper. "(Y/n), I'm never gonna leave you."
"B-But something could happen to you... and I wouldn't even know... I wouldn't be able to save you. And it would probably be my fault. I'd let you down... just like I did with Maes."
Edward's brows curled. Was that what she really thought?
(Y/n)'s bottom lip trembled slightly as Edward moved his hands to either side of her face, holding her in his hands and forcing her to look directly at him. He sighed softly, brushing the dampness that had begun to pool under her eyes away. The moon made the drops of tears on her lashes look like raindrops, shimmering brilliantly underneath the light of the sky. He watched her close her eyes and lean into his touch, scooting involuntarily closer though she was cautious as to not disturb the dog in her lap.
"Don't say things like that," he said calmly, gold orbs darting across her face. "Four years ago you promised to help me and my brother, and you've done more than that. You became my best friend, and you supported us when no one else would. You loved us when we thought we weren't loved, you showed us light when we thought there was only darkness. You- did all of that and more. And most of all," he slid his right hand off of her cheek and reached for her hand, placing it over top of the thin fabric of his shirt, just over his chest. She looked down at her hand being held against him, the feeling of his heart beating rapidly.
"You touched me right here. You feel how fast it's beating? (Y/n) you do that to me all the time," he admitted shakily, his face tinting pink. He was glad that it was dark outside, for the color in his cheeks was rather obvious.
"W-What does that mean?" she whispered.
"Whatever it needs to mean right now," he said. "You've been nothing but incredible. You've fought for me more times than I can count, and for the people you love. Mustang, Al, Winry. Even people you barely know. You fight to protect hard as hell, (Y/n). There's no way you could ever fail me, and you definitely did not fail Hughes. You don't fail people, you inspire them- you motivate them, you love them. That's the type of person you are, and there was no way you could have known about what happened to Hughes. None of this is your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you never have."
A few more drops of tears dribbled down her face. "But-"
"No buts. It's true that you can't control what happens to the people around you, but that doesn't mean that their lives are in your hands. That's not a burden you're meant to carry- it's not a burden that anyone's meant to carry," he caressed the side of her cheek with his left thumb. "Maes loved you. And he knows that none of this is your fault. You didn't ask to be in this position, did you?"
She shook her head slightly.
"Exactly. I know my words might not help you or ease any of the pain and guilt you're feeling right now, but you didn't do anything wrong. I need you to know that. You'd never let me down, (Y/n). You do so much more for me than you know."
The (h/c) haired girl blinked, looking to Ed in awe as well as gratitude. She sniffed, lifting her hand from his chest and moving it to grasp the other hand that held her face.
"Ed?"
"Yeah?"
She didn't respond verbally, instead she leaned forward, bumping her forehead against his and sighing. Part of Edward wanted to lean away, due to the close contact but a stronger part of him overpowered his nerves, causing him to lean into the touch as his automail hand moved back to her face and held her there, much like how he did in the infirmary after the Fifth Laboratory.
Edward smelled clean, which always surprised her considering that he was a fifteen year old boy. There was no particular scent she could use to describe him other than clean, as if she were breathing in fresh air whenever she was near him. The soft strands of his blonde hair tickled her nose, and her hands flew to his hair so that she could feel the silky strands between her fingers.
The Fullmetal Alchemist closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of (Y/n)'s fingers running carefully through his hair. He could barely hear anything above the sound of his heart pounding faster than he believed a heart could run, and he didn't even feel himself moving further into her.
His nose brushed against hers gently, both of their eyes closed and unaware of the space closing between them. It was as if their bodies were moving before their minds could comprehend the situation. All that (Y/n) was even aware of was Ed's hands against her face and his warm breath fanning against her lips, taking her mind away from all the sorrow that had been weighing down her heart. This feeling was warm, welcoming, a complete contrast to the way she had been feeling. She didn't want it to end, therefore her face moved closer to his until their lips were brushing together.
The moment Edward felt her soft lips touch his lightly, he opened his eyes. She was so close, their faces practically connecting and her eyes were still shut. The remnants of tears remained, reminding him of the situation that he was in. He trembled, moving away slightly and panicking when (Y/n) leaned further toward him. He didn't want her to move away, for her warmth to fall from his grasp, but whatever was happening at this moment was something that would be better off being revisited later. (Y/n) was in the middle of grieving the loss of someone dear to her, therefore the thought of kissing Edward must have been appealing for her only because it would have taken her mind off of her heartbreak.
The blonde wanted her to be in the right state of mind when he kissed her. He wanted to be sure that she would kiss him because she felt deeply for him, not because she was trying to distract herself from the death of Maes. All in all, it just was not a good time. Edward wasn't even sure how they had gotten up to this point.
"(Y/n)," he mumbled as he held her face away from him, leaving a space between them that was larger than it had been but still kept them close. Her eyes fluttered back open and a disappointed look crossed her features. She was tired, and sad, and Edward needed to make sure that she didn't do something she was going to regret when she was in a better state of mind. "You need to try and get some sleep. You're tired."
"Maybe," she grimaced, obviously regretting her decisions, wondering if she had misread the signs. Honestly, she didn't know what the hell she was doing. She was exhausted, like Ed had kindly pointed out, and she was craving some kind of affection. Maybe she shouldn't have made herself vulnerable, maybe she had shown her feelings too soon.
Edward smiled nervously, flushing as he leaned down and pecked her cheek gently. He leaned back, hair falling into his widening eyes as he watched (Y/n) gaze at him shyly, eyes just as wide as his. But for a moment, he swore he saw the glimmer fall back into her eyes- the one that had been gone for a week.
(Y/n) looked up at him as the boy pushed himself onto his feet, unsure of how to go about his next actions. He held his hand out to her, and she easily got the message. The empath woke Den sweetly, patting her head to get her attention until she lifted her head and blinked repeatedly. The dog got up, allowing (Y/n) to grab Ed's extended hand and him to pull her to her feet.
The walk back to the house was rather awkward, and when they both bid each other good night and closed their doors, they leaned against the wood and stared up at the ceiling wide eyed. Ed slapped his hand over his mouth and blushed furiously, revisiting the events that unfolded only moments ago. He'd been so close to her, he had felt her lips touch his. Ed had absolutely no experience when it came to girls, but with (Y/n) it all felt so natural. It didn't even feel like he had full control over his body as he melted into her. God, if he couldn't fall asleep before, there was absolutely no way he was going to fall asleep now.
(Y/n), on the other hand, was sitting on her bed in a daze as she stared forward. She'd let her emotions take over, her heart had never been so active before- so influential. She placed her hand over top of her heart, mimicking how fast it had beaten, just like Ed's when he placed her hand over his chest.
The young girl wasn't sure if she was overwhelmed at the moment with a series of different emotions, but the warmth that was threatening to melt away the desolation in her heart was far too real. She felt her eyes water again, as they did each day, but this time due to confusion, happiness, hope, and many other emotions she couldn't even begin to pick apart.
Was she simply using her crush on Ed to push away thoughts of Hughes, or was this what it felt like to love?