I hadn't remembered falling asleep. Or maybe I hadn't. Maybe I'd passed out.
I kept my eyes closed for a moment, just taking a second to try to figure things out. The consistent beeping nearby gave away that I was in some sort of clinic. My guess was the Zone; it was closer than the school. The discomfort in my back was gone, but I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the brightness. Yes, there were florescent lights above me, but the main source of light was coming from the window to my left. Bright, warm sunlight.
I turned my head to the right to see Parker sitting in a chair beside my bed with his head hung, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped between them. I began to reach toward him, and his eyes immediately snapped up to mine.
"Hi," he whispered, taking my hand in both of his, his eyes misty.
My lip began to tremble, my sight going blurry from tears. "I'm so sorry. I lost our baby, Parker. I'm so sorry."
He shook his head then reached up to hold my face in one hand. "The baby's fine. Everything's okay."
I could only stare at him, his words and his eyes so convincing that I felt myself hanging onto it, desperately waiting for him to continue as his hand moved down to hold mine.
"The doctor called it placental abruption. Part of the placenta detached. But they did an ultrasound and it was only- it was minor. Baby is just fine. Oxygen level is good, heart rate is normal. He's okay. They want you to take some medication for the rest of your pregnancy, just to be safe-"
I shook my head, caught up on only a single word he'd spoken. "He?"
Parker grinned, his eyes watering. "Yeah. It's a boy. We're going to have a son."
I chuckled through tears, fingers tightening around his.
A boy. A son. A tiny brown haired, brown eyed version of Parker, I was sure of it. I wanted to just forget everything that had happened and cement myself in this happiness, but there was still something I had to address before we could move on.
"I didn't sneak away," I told him, my eyes focused on him and him alone. "I was taken, and I- I couldn't get away. I promise I didn't sneak away."
"I know. I know you didn't," he assured me, bringing his forehead to rest against mine. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you, back at the school." He pulled away and ran a hand over his face with an exasperated sigh. "God, I thought calling you obtuse was going to be the last thing I ever said to you."
"Such a pedantic word," I teased, and I watched the smile grow on his face like it was the sunrise after an eternity of night. "I was being proud and selfish. You just... called me out on my shit, and sometimes I really need that. I was only mad because I knew you were right. It's infuriating, I'll have you know. You being right all the time."
"I'll try to be wrong more often."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right."
"I think it's best if we stay here until you have the baby," he said after a short pause.
I frowned. "In this hospital room?"
"No," he chuckled. "Raleigh has a house for us. It's ready when we are."
"This isn't permanent, is it?"
He shook his head quickly. "Six weeks after the baby's born. At most. Just to ensure that everything goes smoothly, and that both you and the baby are healthy," he explained, rubbing his thumb soothingly across my knuckles. "I love Shepard, but obstetrics isn't what she has a degree in. There are doctors here who have performed hundreds of deliveries, who have dealt with all kinds of complications. Now, they've assured me that everything should go fine as long as you take it easy, but an abundance of caution never hurt."
"Okay," I agreed. And then, because we'd gotten everything else out of the way, I asked, "Where's George?"
"Currently in a cell. I've told Raleigh to keep him there until you're ready to speak with him. Then they'll move him to his lab in the basement."
"No one else has talked to him yet?"
"You wanted to be the first one," he said, and I noticed the way his jaw tensed. "So no. No one else has talked to him."
"Thank you," I told him, squeezing his hand gently. "Are you still okay with me doing whatever I need to do to him?"
He considered that for a moment. "As long as you're not putting yourself at risk."
"Will you help me if I need it?"
"Of course," he answered without hesitation. "Do you know what you need to do? Once you've got what you needed from him?"
I pursed my lips and sighed. "I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet.
"Well, whatever you decide. I'll be right beside you."
"I just want to start by talking to him. I know he won't give in easily, so first I'll give him his options and see how he handles it. We can plan from there."
"Do you want me to get in touch with Raleigh? Prepare George to be moved?"
"No yet," I said, grinning at the irony of George being trapped in one of his own cells. Cold, dark, alone. "He can wait."
...
I hadn't said it aloud, but I'd decided to confront George the following morning. For today, I'd rest. And so I did. The doctor –Fjeld was her name, a short woman with dark skin and kind eyes- brought us breakfast and checked in on both myself and the baby. I liked her right away, and it made the thought of staying here for months a little easier to accept.
I was amazed by the amount of visitors we saw throughout the day. A handful from the Zone –Raleigh, Paula, and a few others I remembered from our attack on Deacon's house all those months ago- and several from back home.
Charlotte was the first from the school to come in. She sat with us a while, and after expressing her content that we were safe, she told us about their progress on the expansion.
"We should be finished before winter. Then we'll have to send in a cleaning crew and work on accommodations. Getting water and electricity to all those houses will be quite the task, but we're capable people."
"I'm sorry I haven't been able to help with the walls," Parker told her. "When we come back, I'll help in whatever way I can."
I knew it had weighed heavily on his mind -that he'd been so idle for the past couple months while others were working on building a better community. Not like he'd had much of a choice. But Charlotte just smiled softly.
"You two have done more for the community than I can repay you for," she said, her dark eyes sincere. "When all is said and done, I hope you'll make a home out of one of those houses. Until then, your room will be waiting for you."
"Thank you," I whispered, my voice thick and my eyes teary.
When she left, Wes and Abby came in next. I could tell immediately that whatever problems they'd had were now resolved. Wes was his normal, puppy-like self, talking with Parker about guitar lessons and new songs he was trying to learn. And Abby seemed happier, less weighed down. I mentioned something about it and she smiled bashfully. She didn't say much in response, but she did thank me for bringing Rhea –the girl with dark hair and a skill for throwing knives- to the school, and that was all the explanation I needed.
Xavier was our next visitor, and I was sobered by the fact that he came in alone. I hoped the others were taking care of him. I hoped that he wasn't lonely. He did seem to be doing better, knowing that we had George in custody, knowing that we were working on doing exactly what Lance had died for us so we could do. We promised him that we wouldn't let Lance's sacrifice be for nothing.
Then, when Chris and Hannah came into the room, I nearly burst into tears. She rushed over to me and bent over the bed to wrap her arms around me while Chris and Parker greeted each other in their own, much shorter embrace.
"You're here," I said excitedly.
She pulled back, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder. "I know! My first time out into the world again."
"I'm so glad you came."
"I'm so glad you're okay! I was so worried! When I heard what that man had done-" She put her hands to her mouth, unable to continue.
"We're okay," I told her, then pressed a hand against my stomach. "He's okay."
She gasped and began to basically vibrate with happiness. "A boy! Congratulations! I guess I won't be giving you all the baby clothes I have saved."
We laughed together as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"So," I began, lowering my voice, "did you get a chance to talk to Chris?"
She snuck a look over at him on the other side of the room where he chatted animatedly with Parker, and when she looked back to me, she smiled. "Yeah. We talked."
"And?"
"And..." She looked skyward, her hands opening her lap as if grasping for the right words. "I don't know what will happen. But we'll be okay. He made it clear that he's very patient."
"Good."
I told her about how we wouldn't be coming back to the school anytime soon, and told her to come visit any time she wanted. Then, after a hard and drawn out goodbye, Dr. Fjeld came back with another meal for Parker and I.
When he and I were finally alone again, I realized how exhausted I was. It had been a big day; emotions had been high. Tomorrow promised to be another big day, and so I settled in for sleep and tried my best not to wonder how the hell I was going to convince the man who worked so hard on destroying the world to save it.
...
The room was just as sterile as I remembered it. Small, well-lit, the lingering scent of cleaner hanging in the air. And yet, being here now was completely different. It was I who was in control this time.
George sat in the middle of the room, his arms tied to the seat. I could tell that his wound had been cleaned and bandaged, but I was told that it would be a long time before he'd be walking without some form of assistance again.
The room stayed silent while Parker and I entered, so quiet that I could hear the buzzing of the lights overhead. I glanced at the camera in the corner of the room and gave Raleigh and Paula -who I knew were watching from George's old office- a nod.
There was only one other chair in the room, one that rolled loudly against the tile as Parker pushed it over to me so I could sit. Then, finally, I lifted my eyes to George.
After what he'd done yesterday, things were different. The fear I felt for him had vanished, replaced by disgust and utter disdain. I held my head high, and when I spoke, my voice was steady.
"It's time to revisit that deal."
He glared at me from the chair he was tied to. There was so much hate in his eyes. Hate and the unmistakable shine of defiance.
I remembered Parker once telling me something about George's true demeanor. That underneath everything, George was really just a coward. Parker had hoped that one day I would be the reason for George's cowardice.
Hopefully, today was that day.
"What makes you think I'd make a vaccine for you?" he asked, looking at me like I was an imbecile.
"I don't expect you to do it for me," I said. No, I'd never be stupid enough to think he'd ever do anything for my benefit. "I expect you to do it because you have to. You doomed the entire species and now you have to fix it."
"Don't you know why I didn't need to make any more vaccines?" He laughed to himself –laughed at me. "The cure is in their genes. Everyone who was inoculated will pass their immunity down for generations. The human race will never die out. If you would have just taken the damn vaccine in the beginning like I instructed you to, you wouldn't be in this predicament."
Everything went out of focus as I stared past him blankly, and all I could think was what a fucking joke this was. All of it –completely unnecessary. If I wouldn't have been so stubborn and proud in the beginning, I could have avoided all of this.
But no. This wasn't just about me. He didn't get to choose who lived and who died. Having a family was a choice that anyone should be able to make. Everyone who had survived against all odds should be able to pass down our stories, our struggles and our perseverance. Generations to come should know what had happened -and know the truth- so that nothing like this ever happened again.
"I was like Noah," he continued, looking up to the sky as if Heaven's light was shining upon him before meeting my gaze again. "I built my Arc and I chose those who would survive. Only the best among us. And the rest would be left behind to drown. There are no more open positions. So, again, why would I make you a vaccine? It would negate all my hard work. It would taint my entire legacy."
"Your legacy?" I scoffed. "If you think anyone is writing this down in history books and using your name in any sort of praise, you're wrong. You're not a deity, you're a monster."
"That may be how you see me, but even so, remember that there are some who worship Satan instead of God."
What? What was he trying to say? What was going on inside his mind? I didn't think I ever really wanted to find out.
Time to get back on topic.
"Here's the deal. You will make a vaccine. Two doses."
"If I don't?" he asked mildly, not even a hint of agitation in his eyes.
Oh, but he would fear me. If not today, then soon.
"I kill you," I answered simply. "But if you do as I tell you, I'll let you live. You'll be assigned a home and you'll be treated just like any other member of this community. All you have to do is make vaccines."
I could feel Parker's gaze on me. I knew he wouldn't like this part. Neither would Raleigh, or probably anyone else for that matter. But I had the workings of a plan in my mind. I just needed them to trust me.
"What's more important?" I pressed. "Your legacy? Or your life?"
His eyes narrowed, but he didn't speak. He didn't need to say it; I already knew the answer. Everyone did. It was the reason he created the immunization, the reason he built the Zone with its guards and high walls, the reason for Deacon to be expended in his place, the reason he'd had a plan in case his fortress was compromised. Because more than anything, he wanted to live.
And because of that, eventually he'd do what I wanted.
Because of that, I had him wrapped around my finger.