Followed by his betas, Jason led Elizabeth out of the pack house wearing only his suit jacket to cover her body from prying eyes, the two did garner curious stares as the pack leaders who were once at a very public hostile impasse, were now walking in close proximity together not even leaving an inch of space between their forms. He had wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gripped at her bicep tightly, a unrelenting nervousness in his chest that she could revert back at any moment and once again lose her control. Therefor, he felt the need to keep himself in constant physical contact with her, in order to be a support to her and help with her hold over her own person.
The sensations provided through their physical touch were overwhelming to the both of them. Elizabeth's demeanor had calmed and with the energy spent by both her and the other within, she appeared to be fatigued to the point of sedation. It was also apparent that she still felt the ramifications of Jason's actions against her body when she was not consciously present. Jason on the other hand maintained his hard face, all the while his heart hammered within the depths of his chest and all his muscles tensed into rigidity at the anxious excitement he felt with her being in his arms again. Neither of them spoke, as neither of them had words to say in light of the situation they had precariously found themselves in.
When they approached the rental SUV, Jason opened the back passenger door and deposited her gently in the center seat, taking the precaution to buckle her himself before he slid in beside her. Mark took the seat on the other side of her, Cane took the drivers seat and Jacob took the front passenger seat. It was clear the uneasiness was still thick in the air among the men as the young blonde slumped against Jason's upper body, his arm wrapped around her shoulders once more.
"Miss. Elizabeth, it is so good to have you back." Jacob said, turning his head around to look at the tired young woman tightly enveloped in the Alpha's hold. "Shaded Mountain has not been the same in your absence. The pack will be excited for your eventual return." he said with a soft smile in his usual even tone.
"Thank you Jacob..." she said quietly, not meeting his gaze as she stared at the back of his seat.
"I hope you don't mind my asking a favor of you." he said to her cautiously, as he pulled out a bottle of pills from the glove box. "But we have all reached an agreement and think its best that you take something in order to further aid you with your current challenges. In the past, it seemed to have helped quell any unwanted urges, and given our current situation, I think it's best we utilize what we know works."
"I figured." her voice still soft as she had no reaction to the want for her to take a sedative. In all honesty, she had no clear feelings regarding the matter either way. On one hand, she did not like the previous times she had been sedated. On the other hand, she did not want to go back to where she had just come from.
"It's for the best, Elizabeth." Jason said with a nod, giving her arm a quick squeeze before he began to rub it soothingly. "Just until we get it all sorted out."
"We decided to start you off on a half dose, and see how you fair." Jacob said twisting the lid off the rattling bottle before sifting for a pill already halved. Once one was located he turned his upper body around and held it out with a flat palm. "Here you are Miss. Elizabeth. There's a bottle of water in the cup holder by your feet." He said gently, watching her carefully as her eyes made contact with the medicine and it was plucked slowly from his hand with a precise grip of her thumb and pointer finger.
Four sets of eyes, one set through the drivers rear view mirror, watched her place it in her mouth. Mark had reached down and opened the bottle of water for her so it could be swallowed immediately. A satisfied smile formed on Jacobs face as he watched her wash the pill down.
"It is 10:36pm now, and the medication is required to be taken every eight hours. Alpha Jason will ensure to wake you at 6:30am for your next dose. If the times do not work for you, we can slowly modify the schedule and the dosing, if necessary, in the future." Jacob said back smoothly before he returned his eyes to the road.
"The times are fine." She said blankly. In all honesty, Elizabeth had an incredible desire to take every single pill in that bottle in one shot. While she currently was in a state of reprieve from the dominance of the other, her life felt completely out of her hands.
She felt like a burden. She felt an immense shame and embarrassment for actions she had no control over. She felt... Dirty. Unclean. Soiled. Tainted. Her body actively participated in many acts of infidelity against her mate. She had not one mark but two, and the significance of her first had dulled.
While she was initially upset with the life Jason had brought her into, she now felt she had in fact upended his. She was mentally unstable and needed medication to control the chaos inside her mind. The light that once shined within, was now just a flicker, threatening to fizzle out.
She had put him through so much, and she hardly saw the reward or benefit he received from keeping her around. It would be hard to believe that his betas did not feel a bitterness towards her for bringing turmoil to their well structured pack. There was nothing redeeming about any of her qualities that would make her worth all the struggle.
She couldn't lay her trust in anyone anymore, this determined by the stark fact that she could not even trust herself. She couldn't protect herself, she was incredibly weak both physically and mentally. She couldn't even carry a child to term.
Perhaps, it would be better if she walked through life with fog laden vision. It would be better to be numb from it all, than to feel every emotion so intensely that she found herself crippled under them.
His muted voice in the back of her head joining her own and reminding her of all her inadequacies and faults. He would never let her go. Jason could hope to find a solution and he could keep searching for it, but he would only be hurt further with each failure.
"Can I have another pill?" She asked, her volume still incredibly weak and frail.
"It's only been ten minutes, Elizabeth. Let's see how it metabolizes first." Jason said back depositing a kiss on top of her head. The last time she had a full dose she was a walking zombie and he did not want her to be in that state again.
"If you do not feel it's effects by the time we reach the hotel in another twenty minutes, we'll give you the rest of the full dose." Jacob smiled back at her, happy to see she was a willing participant in taking the medication.
"Shouldn't it be my choice?" She said her voice growing upset. "Isn't it my medication?" Her body shifting away from Jason's and all sets of eyes were back on her as tears began to well at her lower lashes.
"Baby.. Calm down." The alpha whispered gently to her. "It just hit you pretty hard the last time, and we want to see how you do with a lower dose."
"Well, we aren't the ones fucked up in the head, are we Jason?" She spat back at him with a clear bitterness in her words.
"You're not fucked up in the head." He said back firmly, definitely not liking her current view of herself. None of this was her fault and yet she was carrying the burden of it all.
"Don't you fucking lie to me right to my god damn face." she said darkly, her hazel eyes sharply glaring at him from the side. "You all obviously think I am unaware of how I am viewed." her direct statement being made to all of them, their stares on her only solidifying her current perception.
"And how are you viewed Miss. Elizabeth?" Jacob questioned in his calm even tone.
"Why even bother explaining? What's the point in saying what we all already know?" she replied despondently, folding her arms across her chest tightly, and crossing legs against one another even tighter. Her body language indicating that she had effectively emotionally and mentally withdrawn from the rest of the occupants in the vehicle.
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The rest of the car ride had been quiet, the men all had found nothing to say despite the sympathy they held for the young woman. Jason quietly led her by the hand back to his room, their room, and turned on the television to fill the silence. He didn't know what to say to her, he could not comprehend the magnitude of what she was feeling and his mind was rapidly trying to find a way to fix this. To fix her.
He began to draw the bath for her, ensuring that the water was running hot and that the bubbles were erupting in a frothy manner before he reentered the bedroom where she had deposited herself in front of the tall glass windows that reached the floor.
"I'm going to order room service." he said over to her, he saw no movement indicating that she had heard him. "Is there anything specific you want?"
"If I jumped from here... how long do you think it would take till I hit the ground?" she asked quietly stepping closer to the glass and looking down to the distant busy city street below.
"You'd never make it." he said firmly but his volume quiet, his chest growing heavy from her darkened demeanor. "I would catch you before you fell."
"What if I don't want to be caught?" she said staring down the distance a few moments longer, before looking over her shoulder at him with vacant eyes.
"I would catch you anyway..." he said walking over to her and grabbing tightly onto her hips from behind, feeling extremely uneasy about her being by the window even though the possibility of her breaking it was next to none.
"If you love something, you should let it go." she sighed out, her eyes returning back to the window and her head dipping forward once more to check how high up they were.
"I could never let you go.. and I never have. You've always been with me Elizabeth." he said kissing the top of her head deeply and beginning to pull her away from the window.
"You should order a couple of bottles of champagne." she said gently with a small smile erupting on her face, an abrupt change in her mood being evident. "And strawberries. You pick the meal, you're always better at it than me."
"Champagne and strawberries?" he asked with an arch of an eyebrow, his eyes searching hers but not being able to determine the cause for her sudden change in demeanor.
"We can cuddle and watch a movie after the bath, just like we would do at home." she said with a nod as she pulled away from him, stripping off his jacket and placing it delicately on the back of the chair at the small kitchenette table to the side. "Tonight should be happy.. Memorable. I'd like to pretend that none of this ever happened, that were just having a normal night at home, that were two normal people." she said turning away from him as she unclasped the bra. "And well make love, and fall asleep together." she said looking over her shoulder at him with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Okay.. Elizabeth..." he said quietly and with a light hesitation, despite her smile she was still making him uncomfortable, his anxiety never quelling in his chest. "If were doing normal, how about pizza?" he asked walking over to the phone, not taking his eyes off of her.
"Yes, great idea." she said with a nod and that same smile. "Extra cheese." her eyebrows raising to accentuate her features, but still her eyes not holding any sign of a twinkle or joy. "It'll be a perfect night." she sighed out, walking to the bathroom and stopping in her progress to step out of her panties. "I wont be long." she said looking back at him before she disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of the faucet stopping and the water being further disturbed as she sank her body into its heat.