Dianthe
"I'm so sorry Rosie..."
She leaves my room, leaving me to grieve.
My eyes are wide open and my throat is dry.
I go to the washroom, looking at myself in the mirror.
I shed a tear and immediately wipe it away.
Your fault.
No one else's.
You're the one who came to come to New York.
If you didn't they would've stayed at home.
Safe.
You're a murderer.
You are a murderer.
I look at myself in the mirror and start pulling my hair.
I run back to the room and quickly pack my bags. I turn my phone on and book the next flight to home.
I hope the plane crashes.
I'm a murderer.
-
I'm a murderer.
I bolt up, sweating and I look around myself.
Shit. Harry's car.
Luckily he's still sleeping in the front.
I turn on my phone and see it's 7:26 in the morning.
I can't wake him up yet. It's too early.
I calm myself down a bit, and lift the blanket off of me, trying to get rid of the sweat building up.
I stay like this for 5, 10 minutes, I don't know.
I can't go back to sleep.
The words repeat in my head over and over again like they have been for the past four years, every week.
You're a murderer.
It's your fault.
They would be alive right now if you weren't selfish.
I wince quietly at the words and squeeze my eyes shut.
Bad idea.
All I can see is the three of them looking so mad and disappointed in me.
My head hurts as it starts spinning.
No no no. I can't have this happen right now. There's someone else here.
I grab onto the blanket, clutching it hard, and I take deep, shaky breaths.
Murderer.
My fault.
I'm selfish.
I start speeding up my breaths, trying not to be loud, not wanting to wake up Harry.
If he does, just say that you get anxious when you don't sleep in your bed.
He can't know.
He'll tell everyone.
Including Anna.
So shut the fuck up, and stop crying.
It's your fault anyways.
I gasp as I try to calm myself.
Definitely not working.
My eyes go black, not able to see anything surrounding me, even though my eyes are still open.
There's a ringing in my ears as the words repeat again, and again.
I deserve this.
It's my fault.
I'm a murderer.
You're not ok.
Snap out of it he's going to wake up soon.
I get my vision back immediately, and I hear the chirping of the birds.
I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down again.
I grab the sunglasses I packed last night, and perch them on my nose.
If Harry wakes up, he won't see my red eyes.
Thinking back to Harry, I make the smallest smile, thinking about the fight over chips we had.
My parents never said I couldn't have guy friends...
Harry does seem like a good friend.
I don't think he wants anything to do with me either so I shouldn't worry about hurting him.
I don't know how he found out I was ticklish.
Smiling to myself a bit more, I look out and see two small birds playing around on the gravel.
RING RING
I snap out of my gaze and try to grab my phone before it wakes up Harry.
I see him stirring a bit, and I finally grip my phone, and click answer.
I look over to him and I see slowly squint his eyes, opening them.
"Hello?" I whisper, my voice raspy from having not talked all morning, and the rough wake up.
Not that I'm not used to it.
"Chèrie! How was the date?" Anna says into the phone, teasingly.
"Dianthe?" Harry questions, and oh my god his morning voice-
No, just friends remember.
I hear Anna gasp.
Oh no.
"CHÈRIE! YOU SLEPT WITH HIM ALREADY! GO GIRL-"
"Anna!" I say and slap my hand over the speaker of the phone, and I look up to see Harry with an amused look on his face.
"What?!" She calms down a tad bit, not screaming anymore.
I sigh. "I'll text you later." I say and I pull the phone away, about to hang up but right before I do, she screams into the phone.
"SO YOU DID SLEEP WITH HI-" I struggle to press the red bang up button and I throw my phone down to the seat.
"Well good morning." Harry says amused.
I groan. "Good morning."
He chuckles at my embarrassed state. "How did you sleep?"
"Pretty well actually, I woke up a couple minutes ago." I lie straight to his face.
"That's good, well Anna seemed to think we did something last night." He tease and turns his body so it's facing mine.
"Oh my god." I say and cover my cheeks with my hands. "Can I just go home now?" I whine not wanting to be even more awkward.
He laughs. "I don't know, I was wondering if I could just keep you here for a little longer."
I groan even more at his teasing.
This is going to be a long day.
-
"Thanks Harry," I say and turn around on my small porch to him. "Do you want to come in for lunch?" I ask him and he looks down, scrunching his nose a bit.
"I would, but I have to go to the studio today, to record some stuff." He says, smirking just the slightest, like he's trying to hint something. "You can come if you want to. You can meet my band, they're the best." He says and I think about it.
"Um I mean I have to freshen up, and you have to get going, I don't want to hold you up." I say and he just shakes his head.
"Well I'm booked for 11:30, and it's only 10:15, so you can get changed, I'll head to my flat and get changed, and I'll come pick you up. We can go get some food too if you want." He suggests and I ponder.
"I, if you want to, I don't want to intrude in your recordings, and your band doesn't even know me, and they probably are going to be irritated with me, and-"
"Sunflower, calm down" he laughs. "You won't be intruding, I invited you, and besides they're used to me bringin- um bringing my friends into the studio." He says, stuttering on his words at the end.
I tilt my head. "Ok..." I say and he just smiles really big, and gives me a hug.
He wraps his arms around my shoulders, and I awkwardly wrap mine around his lower torso.
Fuck his back-
Not now Dianthe.
He pulls away. "Ok I'll pick you up later!" He says and gives me a quick peck on my cheek and runs off.
I blush but laugh at his antics.
I turn around and close the door, leaning back against it.
I drop my bag and close my eyes.
Well time to get ready.
-
"Non Anna, he's not asking me on another date, il jouera la musique." I say, and look around my closet on what to wear.
"Mhmm d'accord..." she says teasingly.
I hear a small giggle on the other end of the line.
And it wasn't Anna.
"Uhhh Anna, who's at your hous-"
"AU REVOUR CHÈRIE, USE PROTECTION!" She says, cutting me off.
"ANNA DON'T YOU DARE HANG-" she hangs up.
That bitch.
I need to just show up at her house one day and see what she's up to.
I throw my phone onto my bed and grab a button up, another pair of Jean shorts, and a belt.
I slip on my two rings, and I head to the bathroom to fix my face.
I play around with my hair, and put some eye liner on.
I put everything away when I'm done, and I quickly grab my phone and head to the door.
I already brushed my teeth, took a shower, and now it's 10:55, Harry's going to be here any minute.
I grab my bag, take out my water bottle and empty it in the sink, and fill it up with more water.
I stuff it in my bag, grabbing my keys, wallet and phone, and I put my shoes on.
As I'm tying up my shoe I hear the door ring. I check my self in the mirror quickly.
I open the door, and see Harry standing outside, looking all pretty-
No Dianthe. Just friends.
His outfit looks so cute.
"You ready to go sunflower?" He says and smiles.
"Sure am golden." I say cheekily, as I walk out my door and we make our way to his car.
This'll be fun...
- - -
Word count : 1488
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG-
But have y'all seen the new dwd photo- IM STILL FREAKING OUT-
Well talk to y'all later, byeee!!
-N