Song: Dermot Kennedy - Glory.
Pt.1 is in the 3rd imagines book!
•••
'I'm sorry you thought you had to lie to me...'
The hurt on your face still makes Bucky's heart clench. How he could destroy you little by little like that without even noticing has him on the verge of panic attacks.
The team starts to notice the change in his behaviour, he's back to acting the way he was before he met you. Reckless and cold hearted, broody even. He's not himself, Steve is the first one to actually speak up about it, which earns him a snarl from Bucky to get lost.
That's when Steve realised that Bucky is only acting this way because of your absence. He heard Bucky say something about breaking up with you, he didn't think much of it then, mainly because Bucky said you weren't his type, but Steve finally realised that it's not the case here.
'We have to do something..' Natasha mutters to Steve one day and he agrees. 'I can't watch this any longer, he's clearly in love with her, and he doesn't know how to handle it...' he sits back in the couch and she joins his side.
Natasha turns her head with a slight frown. Steve rolls his eyes. 'I thought you knew everything...'
'Not from before I was even born Rogers...'
'He had this girl.. Dolores.. Dot.. He was in love with her, I think he treated Y/n the same way, he doesn't mean to but he does it without knowing.. he tells the world around him he's not in lovebirds behind closed doors he's an open book...'
'Why though?' Natasha asks. 'Why would he do that?'
'He's insecure... and I don't really know why that makes him act the way he does but he's just.. miserable... he's getting sloppy too on missions.. I don't want him to end up dead-'
'STEVE!' Tony yells through the hallways. Steve immediately jumps up at the mention of his name. 'It's Bucky...' he pants.
'What about him?'
•••
'Tell me the truth... why are you in the medbay and not up in the living room?' Steve states almost annoyed.
'I wasn't paying attention...'
'Yeah I know that much, Buck there was a time where you would be scolding me for this shit and not the other way around, what's going on with you?'
'Nothin'
'Oh let me try that again...you don't have to tell me because I already know... you treated Y/n just like you treated Dot... and that's why you're acting reckless!'
'What am I supposed to do Steve?! Huh? I love her okay! You're right! I love her! And I fucked up because I have so many fucking issues and I don't know how to handle it!'
Its a heavy weight being lifted from his shoulders, it's good to finally admit what he did to you, how he hurt you and that you made him a better person, you made him focus on missions, he had someone to come home to, he had someone that loved him. Loved, as in past tense.
Bucky moves a hand over his face, running his eyes to clean away the tears. He has never cried in front of anyone before. Not even Steve.
'I love her... but that won't mean shit if she won't believe me, which she doesn't... because I made her feel like that.. I made her feel like she was not the one for me when she's more than perfect, she's way out of my league... and I lost her... so yeah I became reckless... and unfocused and sloppy... because what else do I have except for you guys? You all have girlfriends and wife's and I am here alone!'
'Steve?'
'Hey Y/n, I know this is kind of weird...'
'No no, Captain America calling you personally isn't weird...' He chuckles at that, you have the same sarcasm as he has.
'You're still listed as Bucky's emergency contact... I figured it would only be fair to let you know that he got hurt on a mission...'
'Oh.' Is all Steve hears from you. 'Is He okay?'
The question actually surprises him a little, he guesses you still care for him more than you admitted before.
'Yeah, but he's well... he's getting sloppy... and the reason is because he's fucked up.. with you...'
'Steve I really..' he hears you sigh. 'I don't want to do this over the phone.. and don't take this wrong way but if there's any kind of conversation I want it to be with him... I.. I'm not that mad anymore... I would like a talk...'
'then you should visit him... I think if you would talk he'd stop risking his life more than necessary...' You chuckle again.
'I'll see what I can do...'
'Bucky?' He looks up at the sound of your voice.
'Y/n?'
'Coming Nat!' Steve acts as if she called him knowing damn well you both can see through that obvious lie.
'What are you doing here?' He breathes. He hissed however when he tries to sit up more and hurts himself.
'Hey... hey... easy...' You rush to his aid, helping him lay down again while you take a seat on the bed.
'What are you doing here y/n? I don't...'
'Steve called me... I'm still listed as your emergency contact... he uh.. he told me what happened... and the reason why it happened...' You fiddle with your fingers. 'I really wanted to talk with you...'
'I uh... I wanted to talk to you too... I didn't know how though since... well.. you blocked me on everything- with good reason!' He speaks up.
'I guess it was a bit harsh... To immediately block you out without even talking to you.. I understand now... why you acted the way you did...'
'I'm fucked up... Y/n none of it is your fault and I should've stepped up my game and-'
'Stop..' she chuckles. 'I'm going to stop you right there... I'm a handful as well and I know that... but I was done... I was fed up and that party.. it was the last push for me...'
'I don't know what else to say besides I'm sorry and I love you... I didn't lie about that... the rest was a lie, about you not being my type and all...'
'Yes I heard your very touching confession just now...even though it wasn't actually directed at me..'
'I'm not going to ask for a second chance because I don't deserve one... I was a dick...a first class A-hole..'
'You were... but you could also be really sweet... and loving...I really love you.. I do... I don't want it to happen again...'
'Wait what? You're actually considering getting back with me?' Bucky's eyes widen in surprise.
'Maybe I am... ' you gently take his flesh hand. 'I don't want you to be incredibly straight forward and public about our relationship if you don't want to... but... maybe just.. don't make me feel the way I did before...'
'I swear I will do anything to make sure you will never feel even a tiny bit like that.. I swear...' he sits up again, making the same mistake and again groaning in pain.
'Okay Casanova... just lay down.. and rest.. oh and don't be reckless like that again... because if they won't kill you I will...' you smile innocently at him.
'There's my girl...'
'Better get used to it...'