A few moments passed after which there was the sound of the "shed" door opening. I felt an immediate breath of coolness, which automatically sobered me up. The wind was howling very loudly, as if someone was shouting in a low voice through a megaphone. Two people entered the room and immediately ran towards me. They were Elizabeth and Randal. Their presence indicated that they had not left, which was obvious. I am sure their attention was drawn to the fact that the light in the cottage was out. They certainly didn't know it was a power outage, so they wanted to see what was going on. I looked at them lying on the floor and waved one hand. I wanted to lift my head, but it immediately began to hurt horribly. Elizabrth was first shocked, then furious. She looked straight at Randal and he looked at her. Saying nothing, the boy pointed with a gesture of his head to Alex lying next to him in a puddle of vomit. Elizabeth lit up with incredible aggression and was about to lash out at Rayan when Randal caught her. Rayan continued to apply pressure to my wound on my arm and stared blankly at my friend. She was pulling out of Randal's grasp, who was trying to remain calm at all costs. He looked at Alex first and then looked at me. There was no need to ask what happened because it was obvious. Soon Elizabeth broke out of Randal's grasp and grabbed her forehead with one paw. She said something, but not sure what, there was too much chaos around her. Once Elizabeth had cleared her mind, she visibly calmed down. She looked around the room and shouted:
- CALM THE HELL DOWN! - At this point everyone looked at the girl. - Randal you take Alex upstairs with them and put him in the side safe position. - While saying this she pointed at the other two boys. - Someone help Roxana take Aurelia to the bathroom and bring her to order.She continued. - Rayan keep the pressure on, I'll bring the first aid kit right away. And the rest of you go find some candles and light the hell up. Turn off the data transmissions, and preferably all phones. We need to conserve battery life because we don't know how long we're gonna be here. Mine will stay on, we'll continue to exchange and see if there's any coverage.
- You don't get to tell me what to do! - Roxana exclaimed to her.
Elizabeth walked over to her and theatrically smacked her forehead with her hand.
- Girl, get a grip on yourself! - Elizabeth shook Roxana. - You see what's going on here? Chaos! If you can't take care of the mess you've created, let someone smarter than you do it. - She said in an aggressive tone of voice.
- I didn't do anything! It was Rayan and Alex...
- Shut up already and do as I say. - Elizabeth interrupted Roxana's attempt to explain the situation.
The discussion ended and everyone started following my friend's instructions. Randal and two other boys grabbed Alex, who was mumbling something under his breath in moans. They started carrying him upstairs right after Roxana and one of the cheerleders took the teenager under her arm and led her to the bathroom, which was also located at the top of the bungalow. Elizabeth ran out of the "shed" right into the ongoing blizzard. She probably wanted to use the first aid kit located in the car. I didn't like that idea because a snow blizzard seemed to be very dangerous. Someone in the distance shouted that they had found candles. Someone else ran up to Rayan asking for a lighter. The Doberman replied that it was in the pocket of his jacket hung on a hanger by the door. The boy looked at me again and I looked at him. I stated that I had to get up because they were treating me here like I was at least dying.
- Rayan, help me up. - I asked.
- You shouldn't get up. - He replied. - Where do you want to go?
- As far away from you as possible. - I replied without thinking. The fact that I idiotically sacrificed myself for that asshole doesn't change anything. He was still annoying and I didn't feel like looking at him.
- Would you like to lie down on the sofa by the fireplace? - He ignored my aggressive answer with the calm tone of his low and hoarse voice.
- Anywhere. - I replied. - Not on this floor, it's hard here.
When I finished speaking, I pushed Rayan's hand off my shoulder and began applying pressure to the bleeding wound myself. I handed him the other to help me up. Rayan looked at my hand uncertainly but after a moment he grabbed it and started to pull me up. I had a terrible headache, which the doberman must have noticed because he stopped pulling me up from the floor. I closed my eyes and from the feeling of hopelessness of my situation I let out one tear from my closed eyelid. I wanted to cry. I had been brutally beaten because I wanted to play the hero. I did not find anything heroic in my act now. I had let myself be mauled by a kangaroo because of Roxana and Rayan. And by my own stupidity.
Suddenly I felt hands wrapping around my knees and somewhere around my back. I opened my eyes and Rayan was kneeling in front of me and began to lift me off the floor.
- Lean your head against my shoulder. If you lay your head steadily it shouldn't hurt so much. - He recommended.
The last thing I wanted was to hug Rayan at this point. However, I didn't want to lie on the floor so I did. As he lifted me off the floor I felt a pain in my head, but not enough to make him put me down on the floor. The boy's strong arms could easily handle my small body. I rested my head a little against his biceps and a little against his chest, which was hard as stone. In another situation, I might have said it was sweet. But first of all, I was battered and no pseudo romantic gestures came into my head at all. Second, I was being carried by Rayan. This fact in itself blocked all possible positive feelings. The boy carefully and slowly carried me towards the sofa on which he had been sitting with his friends. It was the biggest and closest to the fireplace. Although his hands and arms were hard and rough, he held me as if he were carrying a cup made of porcelain from the Ming Dynasty period in China. He didn't speak, didn't even look at me. He walked forward, step by step carrying me to the sofa. Gently and slowly he leaned over and began to put me down on it. Once he had done that, he looked me over carefully. It looked like he wanted to see if he could damage me even more. He had a menacing, thoughtful look. He furrowed his brows and stood over me like that. I felt very uncomfortable.
- I'm not dying. - I quit.
- I know," he briefly replied.
- Then what's the point of the nativity scene? - I asked.
Rayan scratched his jaw and thought about his answer. His gaze met mine for a moment then quickly turned it away from me.
- Later. - He replied and sat down next to me.
Rayan pulled out sat down a short distance from me and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He put one in his mouth but couldn't find a lighter. He cursed under his breath and pointed at some person. Someone walked up and handed the boy the lighter he had borrowed from him. The Doberman quickly grabbed it and without waiting for anything, he lit a cigarette. He rested his hands on his knees and smoked in that position. It was hard to tell in what direction exactly he was looking. At the same time Elizabeth returned. She took off her jacket and with a quick step came over to us. She looked at Rayan and it was clear she was furious again.
- You let him with that cracked head come in here? - She asked in a clearly aggressive voice.
- I didn't allow it. - He chuckled dispassionately.
- Then what is he doing here? - She asked even more angrily.
- I carried him away. - He replied without looking at me or Elizabeth. He just took a drag on his cigarette and continued to stare somewhere with a blank stare.
Elizabeth gave me a meaningful look, which I returned with a grimace on my face. Then she looked at the doberman again.
- But you could have let the smoking go.
- He'll be fine. - He answered the girl by squeezing the cigarette in his paw and clenching his jaws. - And if there is any permanent damage left to his health from this... incident, I assure you that I will add to Alex's. I saw Alex's punch. It was off-target, off-balance and so on. I know my stuff. Relax.
I don't know if his words were meant to reassure me or Elizabeth. I also don't know how the more severe damage to Alex at Rayan's hands was going to help me. Maybe he felt obligated? Yes, that's certainly it. Otherwise he wouldn't have been hovering over me with this strange concern for my comfort and the wound on my hand... It was uncomfortable, though on the other hand he could have poured over the matter and gone anywhere else. The cottage was not that small, he could go look for candles or smoke those cigarettes of his far enough away from me.
The situation had calmed down. There were candles burning in several places in the lodge that the party guests had set up. Several people came up to me, asking how I was feeling. Among them was Randal, who hadn't yet had a chance to talk to Rayan, who had lounged back in his chair in a reclining position and was smoking a cigarette while staring at the ceiling. Alex had fallen asleep. Apparently his prune under his eye is much more sizeable and grown than mine. I'm already looking forward to the morning, when the company has completely sobered up...when Alex will wake up. What I'm curious about is how Rayan will behave in all this. His best friend, after all, tried to attack him with a sharp object. That's probably what he was just thinking about. Randal probably did too, who was currently standing between a hammer and an anvil. This may sound mean-spirited, but it makes me very happy that there is a huge possibility that their pack will fall apart. All in all, they deserved it, they deserved a fate far worse. Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself but I bet I wasn't their only target for abuse over the years.
Aurelia reportedly slept in the next room. As one of the girls said, she puked like a water cannon shoots water. Roxana stayed with Alex in the room. I understand that this will mean getting on a sort of warpath with this girl. She was the only one who didn't come down and ask how I was doing, even though I was the victim here and not the kangaroo. Things have gotten pretty bad, but after what happened today I'm finding that it's time to stop with the diplomacy. It's a bit of a sick way of thinking, but Alex's attack has put me in the position of a victim, or a person who is now somehow privileged. I will now be the one who saved Rayan Cory from being almost literally stabbed in the back. In this case, a glass impalement. What remains to be seen is how I will explain to my mom and the Van Rostovs about the black eye and the wound on my hand. And fuck it, I'll tell the truth. They probably won't let me and Aurelia go anywhere ever again, but so what? This was actually my first outing anywhere and please how it ended. In less than two days I have my first dance competition, now I don't even know if I'll perform. My consolation is that even if I didn't perform in the competition, as my coach assured me, it was really not prestigious and not even important. I'm going to look like an unkind person, because on one hand I assured myself that I'll perform in every competition, and then I'll resign from the first one I'm supposed to take part in.
I pondered for a while with cold compresses on my forehead and a bandaged arm. The guests of the party had arranged themselves in different places on the first floor of the house and were getting ready for sleep. I thought I would do that as well. Elizabeth, lay down on the sofa next to me, in a position ready even to possibly attack any further surprises that might befall us that night. She quickly fell asleep, however, and I could tell by her breathing that she was obviously asleep. Randal lay down somewhere on the other side on the floor by the sofas. He, like the rest of the company, was already asleep. I could not. I felt tired only for a moment and then I started thinking again. I also felt a dryness in my throat. I looked around to see if there was a bottle of water on the table, but there was none nearby. Surely it was in the refrigerator. I slowly got up from lying on the sofa to see if my head still hurt. Surprisingly, it did not hurt. I decided to check the swelling under my eye from Alex's bump. When I touched it I felt a piercing pain and immediately retracted my finger. The tragedy wasn't there. Maybe Rayan was right about Alex not aiming like a boxer? Good for me. I looked at the doberman, who was lying in the same position as last time. His eyes were closed, which probably meant that he was also asleep. I carefully got up from the sofa and walked slowly to the kitchen where nobody was sleeping. It was cleaned, there was no more broken glass on the floor. There was one candle burning on the counter by the refrigerator. I thought I had to open and close the fridge quickly so that the cold would not escape, after all there was no electricity so the appliance was not working. So I did. With a quick flick of my wrist I opened the refrigerator door and looked around for a bottle of water. I spotted several and took one of them. I closed the refrigerator door and then opened the bottle and took a sip of the cool water. I was very thirsty so I drank greedily.
- Just don't choke on it. - I heard a voice from behind me.
I turned around and noticed Rayan leaning against the wall already with a cigarette in his mouth. He was looking straight at me with penetrating eyes and a slight smile. This annoyed me so I quickly capped the bottle and decided that I would treat him like air by passing by without even speaking. It would have gone great because I was already passing him, but the boy grabbed my arm and tugged slightly. It wasn't strong, but Rayan had enough strength that I wouldn't have broken free anyway. So I didn't try. I decided that I would listen to what he had to say and then walk away without a word as I intended.
- Let's talk. - He said in a calm voice looking straight into my eyes. He was quite a bit taller, so I had to hold my head up. That must have distracted him, because he turned his gaze to my black eye. - Wait a moment. - He added after a short thought.
Rayan walked away into the living room for a moment and took one chair in each hand. With a calm step he passed me and in the depths of the kitchen he placed them on the floor. After that he looked at me and pointed with an open hand to one of them. I walked over and sat down with my arms folded. Rayan sat down across from me. He put an ashtray on the counter and a pack of cigarettes that he was already running out of. The Doberman looked at me again. I think he was waiting for me to say something, because he just stared into my blue eyes with his dark eyes. Finally, he began.
- Do you know why I don't like you?
- Because I'm gay. - I replied in a dispassionate tone. In doing so, I broke my own resolve not to engage in conversation. Tough luck.
- That's by the way. - He took a drag on his cigarette then looked at the floor and then back at me. - The thing is, you have the same typical trait as every gay man. You try to shine and stand out, and I don't like that.
Shine? Stand out? A typical trait? I snorted a nervous laugh.
- It is apparent that you know a great many homosexuals. You can give me a contact to someone and I can exchange experiences about standing out and "shining". - I replied in an aggressive tone of voice.
- And what did you do the first day you came to school? - He asked in a calm and gentle voice. - Don't worry, you can dance and freak all you want. But don't tell me that you didn't want to show off to the public like that. - He continued. - And waving to the students in the stands at the end...
- If I even did that, it wasn't my goal but just a side effect of my broader plans. - I replied. I had told him too much for my taste, but it was too late now.
- I know. - He replied with stoic calmness, which surprised me. - Let me explain what the problem is. You suddenly appeared out of nowhere and the first thing you do is show off in front of the whole school how well you dance. The thing is, you mistakenly thought that if anyone liked you, you'd be untouchable by me, Randal or Alex. We'd laugh at you, Alex would say something to himself about you once in a while, and there'd be no problem. You've started to beat the crap out of yourself.
- And in your opinion, would it be okay if I allowed myself to make these jokes about me behind my back, or Alex's stupid comments? Do you think I would have gotten past that? - I clenched my fists.
- Pay attention to the fact that you are now part of a family overflowing with shills, the Van Rostovs. By showing off on your first day, you made it clear that you think you're better than everyone else. And that kind of behavior pisses me off. - He replied finishing his cigarette.
- Don't avoid answering the question. - I replied clearly annoyed. - Before I could do anything, you and the boys were already laughing at me. Alex had already started teasing me in the group chat of our class group. Besides, I didn't ask for such a foster family. I didn't come here of my own free will, little did I want to come here. And you, Alex and Randal all lumped me in with the "nouveau riche of the Van Rostov family." I danced in front of the whole school to communicate that I'm not afraid of you. That I'm not afraid to practice with you in the same sports hall and that I don't care what you think about me. Dancing is my passion and I'm not going to give it up just because three assholes want the whole school all to themselves.
I finished in an already raised voice. Rayan looked at me with a blank stare and then looked at the floor. He scratched his head. He looked like he was already about to say something but retracted his statement before he opened his mouth. He thought for a moment. He took the pack of cigarettes in his hand and nervously pulled another one out for himself.
- I want one too. - I said. My level of nervousness about the whole day had reached such a level that I decided to fuck it all already. I'm gonna have a cigarette.
Rayan looked at me puzzled but handed me a cigarette. I took it, put it in my mouth and lit it with the lighter he handed me. I inhaled the smoke, which started to scratch my throat. I coughed about twice. Rayan smoked strong cigarettes.
- You're right. - He replied while looking at me in a rather strange way. - From a rational point of view, you are right. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for hitting you. - He said and stared at the floor again.
I knew this conversation would measure up to that sooner or later, today or next month. He started it in an unusual way by asking the question "do I know why he doesn't like me". I somewhat understand his point, but Rayan was wrong in the earlier arguments he cited. Without knowing me he made a judgment on my person. Although it's common behavior among teenagers, that's not how it's done.
Rayan waited for a response, but what was I supposed to answer him? "Nothing's wrong?" "I forgive you?" Yes, it was hurting and I had no desire to forgive him. The only thing he could do for me was to keep himself and his friends away from me. That wouldn't work now, Alex would surely be out of Rayan's influence by now. And Randal? Fuck knows what Randal will do.
- And... I knew Alex would probably throw himself at me some more. I could hear him running towards me. I didn't expect him to try to attack me with broken glass. I wanted him to throw himself at me so I'd have a reason to kick his ass. It didn't work out. - He said while continuing to stare at the floor.
- It didn't work out. - I concluded.
- Why did you do that? - He asked raising his head once again towards me.
- I don't know. - I replied after a moment of suspense. - He could have killed you with that object. I didn't want it to come to that...I guess that's normal? - I replied uncertainly.
- I don't know. - He replied. - Not after the way I treated you earlier... I probably wouldn't get between me and Alex if I were you. - He replied with uncertainty in his low and hoarse voice.
- Not everyone is an asshole like you Rayam. - I replied by throwing him a cool but unpleasant look.
- Right. - He said in a shockingly sad tone of voice that I wouldn't have expected to hear.
I felt strange. I felt a little sorry for him. I had no idea what was going through his mind, but his face was not very happy. He looked as if I had just ruined his view of the world or confused his way of thinking. Despite what he said, my opinion of him hadn't changed. However, I am used to Rayan who either looks pissed off or who looks indifferent. For my own mental comfort, I figured that somehow he needed to be knocked out of thinking about whatever he was thinking about now.
- What we do with "In the Night at Midnight." - My words shot out of my mouth so quickly that I didn't have time to think about them.
Rayan tuned his ears and looked at me in shock.
- Now you want to talk about it? - He asked nervously.
- Do you have anything else to say to me? Because I have nothing to say to you. - I said, putting my foot behind my leg.
- I don't have the strength to think about it now. - He said and turned his gaze to the side. - Later.
- Mhm, later meaning on the day of the our performance? - I asked sarcastically.
- Dude, no exaggeration. - He said. - You know that play? I'm not making out with you, no shit. - He said and his jaw and the muscles in his neck tightened.
- Nor I with you. - I answered calmly. The Doberman looked at me inquisitively. The information that we disgust each other with reciprocity probably calmed him down.
- So what do you propose? - He threw these words around casually.
I scratched my head for a moment and thought about it. I didn't actually know what I could suggest to him. I didn't think he would even let me start a conversation about it. I gathered my thoughts, put the burnt cigarette back in the ashtray and started.
- We finish the scene just before the kiss. - I started. - But to make it up to this teacher, we have to play the rest well. The division of roles between us is probably obvious. You'll learn your line, I'll learn mine, and we'll do some rehearsals. If we work it out to make it look good, maybe she'll give us a pass. He's not going to make us kiss if we don't want to? - I asked with a questioning look. I didn't know this teacher, I didn't know.
Rayan initially squirmed heavily at my suggestion. He rubbed his face with his brown and black paws and then scratched behind his ear.
- No, that's not going to work. - He said. - Besides, there's still the issue of hugging...figure out something else.
- What else can you come up with? - I replied embarrassed. - We won't get past this. If we play it right, Ms Izabela from the culture studies department won't be able to accuse us of failing in our task.
Rayan grabbed his head again. He knew I was right. He knew there was no way around this project. Ultimately, he was the one who was worse off than I was.
- Isabella will be clinging to every detail in this theater scene for sure. - Rayan looked for any excuse not to complete the project.
- That's why we will practice and refine it. - I replied, which clearly did not convince him. - Just treat it like an art. - I added.
- Meaning? - He asked.
- Well, you know, in ancient Greece all the actors were men. They had to play different scenes with each other, and many of them played women.
- Really? - He asked somewhat surprised. That gave me hope of convincing him.
- Well, yeah. Even in Sparta, where all the guys were soldiers and everything. - This argument must have given him food for thought. If the male warriors of Sparta also dressed in women's dresses as part of the play and played love roles with each other, why couldn't Rayan?
- All right, that's enough. - The boy said, looking away. - We'll do as you say, but drop the subject. On the weekend I'll come to your place and we'll practice. But that's enough.
That was enough for me. Hopefully now I'd have at least one problem off my mind. Now we sat in a moment of silence. Only the gusts of a strong wind could be heard from outside the window, and Randal's snoring from the living room. I didn't know what else I could say to the doberman, or what he could say to me. I unscrewed the water bottle and took a drink, then got up and headed for the living room.
- Max, thank you. - Rayan spoke up as I was leaving.
I stopped and turned toward him once more.
- You can pay me back by separating me from Alex. The kangaroo will find an even bigger scapegoat in me than before.
- I suppose so. - Said the boy also getting up and walking towards me. Together we started heading towards the living room. - No worries, I may be a prick, but an honorable one. I'll kick Alex harder if I have to.
If he wasn't lying, I could feel relatively safe. I'll probably find out tomorrow morning. I don't know how the confrontation with Alex and Roxana, who seems to have sided with him, will play out. The coming morning, was going to answer all those uncertainties. For now, I settled down on my sofa and Rayan settled down on the chair he was lying on before. I was really tired already so I don't even know when I closed my eyes and fell into a restless sleep.