I am halfway through my breakfast when half of the table stands up and silently leaves the room.
Christiaan stands up from the chair next to me, forcing me to do the same. My half-full plate is left behind. A server rushes to the table and snatches away the plates. She doesn't look at the guests and doesn't say a word.
It is my father's dangerous protocol that forces them into this attitude. Most servers are afraid of the upper class. They were born and raised here and know no better. We call them servers, but it is better to call them slaves. Guards are paid, servers are not. They need the king's approval to leave, as my father never gives it, they are stuck here. I feel sorry for them, but I wouldn't know what to do without them.
'Dinner,' is my cue for the day. After his words, Christiaan and my father leave the dining room. The smile my father gives Christiaan is something I haven't seen since I was a child. Sometimes I'm convinced that Christiaan is more of a son to my father than I am his daughter.
'Shall we go?' Startled out of my daydreams, I step aside and look at Elien and Minos. Minos gives me an apologetic look, which I quickly dismiss.
'Yes,' I reply before taking Minos's place. The man smiles before leaving me alone.
My slender brother takes my arm and leads me through the halls.
We walk towards the gardens. It's not like we have many other options. Elien and I are forbidden from leaving the castle grounds.
The gatekeepers in blue uniforms silently open the large wooden doors before we cautiously climb the stone steps. The towering wall around the gardens obscures the once beautiful view of Mita.
The village, which lies at the bottom of the hill, was beloved by my mother. She regularly took me to visit markets, special people, or just to have a chat. I can remember running through it as a little girl, enjoying my freedom and the fresh air. I often long for the carefree time back then.
Although as a child, I always wanted to grow up, I now long for my younger years. With age come responsibilities that we never asked for.
'Father is always whispering. Do you know what he's talking about?' Elien asks.
'No.'
'Too bad. Father never tells me anything and keeps saying I have to wait until I'm older,' complains the eleven-year-old. If he only knew what would happen when he's older, he'd change his mind, I hope.
We walk into the gardens via the stone path. The grass, which was covered in snow and ice for months, is turning green again, flowers are blooming, and the trees are getting their leaves back. There seemed to be no end to the icy winter, and even now, the temperature is not high, the sun absent and covered by a blanket of clouds.
Nevertheless, the trees are well cared for, the hedges are trimmed, and the grass is not a millimeter too long. In winter, the gardens are an oasis of snow or grass. In the summer, the red, blue, and green plants take over. You will never find weeds between the paths and certainly not dried-up flowers. The gardens are one of the few projects of my mother's that are kept in their original state.
'Have you read any books lately?' Elien tries to keep the conversation going.
He's always the one asking the questions and telling stories. My days are either too monotonous or not suitable for children's ears that I have nothing to tell him.
'The Honeycomb,' I lie.
Although reading is one of the best pastimes this castle offers, the days of good books are long gone. There was once a series of books about all the peoples, magic, and history.
A month after my mother's death, on Redemption Day as the king likes to call it, my father had all the books inspected and burned those that were deemed "unworthy." More than a thousand books went up in flames, along with some of the corpses from previous executions.
Luckily, my mother left me a modest stack of books about history and peoples. I barely managed to hide and save the five books from the inferno.
'Oh, cool. I've read that too,' he says excitedly. It's clear he hasn't read it himself; Minos or other servants have read it to him.
The Honeycomb is a children's book about a wizard who invents a spell that makes bees talk. That's the level of books we're allowed to read now.
'Nora hasn't been here for a while, will she come back soon?' he asks.
'No,' I answer. I think back to my time with Nora, the time I miss more every day.
'Why not?' Elien asks.
Because my father can't find out who or what Nora is, better yet, what I am.
'She's busy,' I answer vaguely. Elien nods, knowing from my tone that he shouldn't ask any further.
After my answer, it's quiet between us.
These walks are the only times I leave the black castle, and yet it doesn't give me a feeling of freedom. I feel like a bird in a cage. Forced to stare at freedom but never feel it.
'I'm looking forward to the wedding and hope I can be like Christiaan.' My eyes widen as my idiotic brother says this.
We both know Elien will never achieve the same as Christiaan, despite his title. His eyes don't give him the ability to handle a sword or fight in a war. He will marry, no one can deny that. Speculations are slowly rising about a suitable bachelor for Elien's hand, but it's a sensitive matter.
I abruptly stop walking and look at Elien in shock.
I don't understand why people have so much praise for Christiaan; he's the nightmare no one wishes upon anyone. The man is feared by many, but also loved for the things he has achieved.
I put my hands on Elien's shoulders and slowly bend my knees.
'Elien, let me make something clear to you. Christiaan is not the man you think he is. He's rude, unfriendly, and aggressive when you're alone with him. Stay away from him and never trust him.' My words are so compelling that Elien visibly swallows. From his gaze, I can tell he doesn't understand me, but he doesn't ask any questions.
'Tell no one that I told you this, for your own safety,' I add to my statement. These words could cost me my life, and yet I make no attempt to keep them inside. Someone has to teach Elien the truth.
In my peripheral vision, I see Minos walking towards us. My hands reach for Elien's shoe before I quickly untie the knot from the laces. While the man walks towards us with firm steps, I tie the laces again as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Minos is standing next to us and bowing. As soon as the knot is in the laces, I stand up and look expectantly at the man.
'Apologies for disturbing you. Lady Diana has asked me to inform you that Lord Elien is expected in the library. May I have the honor of accompanying you, Lord Elien?' Minos extends his arm.
'Oh, I completely forgot that I have a lesson.' Without waiting for my reaction, Elien extends his arm, takes Minos' arm, and the men depart back towards the castle.
I let out a deep sigh and realize that this is also my signal to walk inside. I enjoy the fresh air for the last few steps, realizing that this will be the last for the time being.
I walk up the stone stairs to the door. The two guards in front make a small bow before I walk into the castle.
For now, I have to make do with the little entertainment that the castle offers me; the library.
Silence and the smell of old paper greet me as the guard opens the wooden door. The large hall is filled with dozens of wooden cabinets full of books.
Books have always been an escape for me. The ability to dive into another person's fantasy world, to live someone else's life for a brief moment, gives me the freedom to breathe.
Seating areas have been made on the sides and in the middle. There are wooden tables, chairs, and even a few blue sofas here and there. On every table, a black candle burns. The only thing that isn't made of wood is the dark stone floor. On the right, an open fireplace burns, next to which Elien sits with Diana at a round wooden table.
Diana is Galen Evander Monré's wife, the head of the Dawn. I haven't known the woman for long, nor have I had the opportunity to get to know her. The only real knowledge I have of her is that she comes from a wealthy noble family with three sisters. She recently moved here after her marriage, but rumors have it that she already has a daughter from a previous affair. For anyone else, a deadly rumor that remains an obstacle to a good match. However, her marriage was arranged and consummated within a week.
She teaches Elien about the customs and history of the allowed magic. It seems to give her pleasure to brainwash my brother. You can't entirely blame her; it's just as much her pastime.
I run my fingers over the covers, searching for the right escape for the next few hours.
I take the book "Life is Endless" from the shelf, continue my way to the couch in the corner, and sit down. Before I can open the book properly, I am distracted.
In my peripheral vision, I see two guards whispering in the doorway. Their happy expressions and the few words I catch hold my attention. In these moments, I thank my supernatural hearing. From under my lashes, I look at the two men and listen.
'They will weaken within a few weeks,' says the right guard. The other laughs. I raise my eyebrow and try to follow what the conversation is about.
'How does he actually do it? Does he just sprinkle it in?' asks the left one. The other leans in slightly towards him. Unseen, I lean more in the direction of the men.
'Let's just say he has his females for that,' the man says, and they collectively start laughing, after which the left one gives the right one a pat on the shoulder.
'I have to say, the king has a fantastic plan.' They laugh for a few more seconds before the left one straightens his blue jacket.
'I better go to my post,' says the left one.
'Good man.' Those are the last words the man says before he walks down the hallway. The remaining man walks into the library and closes the door. Soon he disappears from my sight, leaving me confused.