I PACE NERVOUSLY outside of Dean Windsor's office, biting my nails. He'd been in there for what seemed like an hour, but my clock told me it was only twenty minutes. The door finally clicks open and I stop my pacing, watching as he storms out of the office. His eyes find mine for a moment and then he's placing a chaste kiss against my mouth.
Then he's walking out of the school, but not before turning around giving me a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "I'll call you!" he calls out.
But he doesn't.
The hook ups stop abruptly. He stops coming to school again. There's rumors that he's been expelled, but no one knows for sure. Some people even go so far as to say they think he'd disappeared because he was in huge trouble—like, facing time in jail kind of trouble. But no one seems to know anymore than I do.
After a week or two, it doesn't matter to anyone anymore. They're too busy with buzz about the Ball, too curious to see who's going with who and how they'll ask them. School has become a flurry of roses and chocolates and it makes me sick. I've gotten into the habit of hiding out on the bench in front of the school, the one where Sebastian and I had lunch for the first time. I'm almost happy the Ball is tonight so that I don't have to watch anymore proposals at school.
I'd finally managed to look to see if I got into Berkeley, nearly a week after decisions came out. The good news was I somehow was accepted. Oba, the twins, and I jumped around for at least fifteen minutes after reading my acceptance letter.
The bad news was that once I got my financial aid letter, it seemed Berkeley was simply too expensive for me to go to. I knew Oba would pay for my schooling but she's got her own kids to worry about, what with tuition at the Academy. Not to mention, the woman's given me everything. How can I add this to the table?
I hadn't told anyone I didn't plan to go.
It's the type of thing I'd tell Sebastian, but he's been so damn MIA that I wasn't even sure how to reach him anymore. I'd stopped by his house so many times. Rachel or Victor answered every once in a while saying that he was out of town. I didn't know if he really was out of town or if he was having them lie. Either way, his car was gone.
I supposed I could've told Hiro about it. We've been talking on the phone incessantly since February. But I knew he'd just tell me some speech about how good of a person his dad was and encourage me to use the money. Robyn doesn't know because I know she'd try her hardest to convince me to still go, especially with her so close by at UCLA. Devin, Hunter, and Hayley are guilty by association. And Oba wouldn't get it.
So, there's no one to tell.
"Braylen!" Hayley's voice snaps me out of my daydream. I lift my eyes and look at her through my reflection in the mirror, eyes widening. She grins wickedly. "How did I do?"
She's done another braided hairstyle on my locks, three braids flowing to the back and clipping my hair into a half-up half-down style. Paired with my black suit and white button up, I looked amazing.
"Knocked it out of the park. As usual," I say, giggling. "You're seriously too good at this."
Hayley backs away from my mirror to get a full body check at herself. She looked good in a dark blue number that complimented her blonde hair perfectly. Hunter had invited her to the Ball, obviously, and I had a feeling they'd be one of the best looking couples there. "You look beautiful," I say.
She smiles once, rubbing a hand over her dress and chuckling. "Did you think that we'd be here like this back in September?"
I snort. "Not at all. I never imagined you'd be with Hunter and I'd be...well, whatever the hell Sebastian and I are."
Hayley takes a careful seat on my bed and frowns. "Is he coming tonight?"
"I wouldn't know," I mumble with a shrug of my shoulders. "He hasn't talked to me, Hayley. I don't know what I did to push him away like this."
She purses her lips and then reaches forward to grab my hand. "Hey, B. It's gonna be okay. Sebastian is an adult, alright? Whatever happened, it's not your fault. You can't keep beating yourself up about this."
The door clicks open and suddenly Robyn and Devin are there, grinning from ear to ear. Both of their cheeks are flushed; it's clear to see what they'd been doing. "Oh, sorry. Were you two talking?" Robyn asks, still sounding giggly.
Hayley drops my hand and nods her head towards me. "Tell Braylen that he needs to forget about Sebastian and have a good time tonight."
Robyn and Devin take a breath before reciting together, "Braylen, forget about Sebastian and have a good time tonight."
I flick them both off and we all laugh before bounding down the stairs, joining my family and Hunter who'd planted himself at the kitchen table and was helping himself to a bag of chips. He was in a baby blue suit, one that would look comical on anyone else but on him somehow worked. Hayley slides next to him, the two of them looking like night and day with her dark blue gown and his light suit.
"Well, don't you look stunning. And I'm not talking about Hayley," Hunter remarks, sending me a cheeky grin and earning a laugh from Hayley.
"Are you my date or his?" she questions, nudging his shoulder.
Hunter turns to her fully and grins. "You look gorgeous, Hayley. Truly."
She grins brightly as Oba claps her hands together. "Okay! Time for pictures."
I groan loudly. "Do we have to, Aunt Amanda?" I complain, tossing my head back. The group laughs loudly as we slide into a group pose for the photos. There's an invisible space where I know someone should be, but I force myself to focus on the people that were there.
Oba clicks a few photos, gushing, before lowering her camera. "Ash isn't coming?" she asks, tentatively. "I know you two have been giving each other space a bit recently, but—"
"He's not coming," I reiterate and drop my hands from around the backs of Hayley and Robyn, moving away from the group.
My aunt grabs my hand, squeezing it once. "Then, that's his loss. You look so handsome, Braylen."
I smile softly. "Thank you. But we really should get going. I'm pretty sure we're already late."
Oba laughs. "No way! Remember what I told you in August? Before the party?" I smile, thinking back to that night that had been the start of something I didn't even know would begin.
"Use protection," I recall. "And if I'm not late, I'm early."
She laughs again and then cups my cheeks in her face, planting a warm kiss on my cheek. "That's my boy! Now have an amazing night tonight. All of you! And that's an order."
We're all still laughing as we stumble out of the house and into Devin's car and then we're off, passing around a flask of tequila that I take tiny, tiny sips of as the night opens up in front of me. We're singing along to some trashy pop song and making fun of each other until we pull up to the Academy.
If I thought it'd been decked out on Halloween, it was gorgeous now. Fairy lights twinkled up and down the walkways and a red carpet was laid out before us, making everything feel that much grander. Robyn and Devin take the lead as they walk in holding hands and Hunter and Hayley aren't too far behind them in the same position. I smile softly as I walk into the school, hands in my pockets and wishing that I was holding the hand of the one boy who wasn't there.
The entire school seemed to be decked out for the occasion. The lights continued on from outside into the main hallways and all the way into the Grand Hall where the dance was being held. I step tentatively into the place, trailing behind Hayley's dress and my jaw drops.
It was something out of a dream. Chandeliers hung above everyone's head, illuminating the room in a beautiful gold color and accentuating every single sparkly in the room, from the dresses to the centerpieces on the table. I'd never seen us all look so dressed up and mature. Even Eliza Patterson who was only 5'0 and had the voice of a child seemed to be ten years older, donning a gorgeous white dress and a matching smile.
Platters of food were laid out on the tables in front of us, little hor d'oeuvres scattered around. I grab one and pop it in my mouth, realizing I'd been so anxious about the day that I'd hardly eaten. I was famished.
"Dance, milady?" Devin asks, smirking at Robyn. His face is so cheesy I nearly vomit up the hor d'd'oeuvre I'd just scarfed down but Robs only giggles.
"I'd be honored," she says, holding out her hand so he can grab it and pull her onto the dance floor. Hunter and Hayley fall in line pretty soon too and then I'm left alone.
I find an empty table and a glass of water, sipping it gingerly as I watch my friends dance a waltz to the slow, dreamy music. They looked great together, although Robyn had a bad case of two left feet. Almost as bad as Sebastian.
"Your beau's not coming?"
I turn my head to see Cora sliding into the seat next to me. She was in a tight white suit, including red dress shoes and a gold chain. I gnaw on my lip. "No," I mumble. "No, I don't think so."
She sighs softly glancing over at me. "I'm sorry, Braylen. I know you love him."
I shrug my shoulders. "I'm all right. What about you? How's it going with Nyla?"
She blushes and that's all the confirmation I need. "Turns out, she's not entirely straight," Cora admits, laughing softly. "I'm really happy, B."
"Good," I say and meaning it. "You deserve a happy ending."
Cora smiles at me before fixing her gaze on something in the distance. Whatever it was, it makes her grin. "Yeah. You do, too. I'm going to go get some sparkling cider. You have a good night, Braylen."
She's up and out of her seat in seconds and I frown. "O-okay," I whisper, chuckling softly. I look over at the direction she had been, wondering why she'd been acting so weird and my heart freezes over.
It's him.
He was still far too skinny for my liking and it seemed that he'd aged five years in the time since I've seen him, but he was there. He had on a black suit like mine, only his tie was a bit different and he still looked like a Greek god that had fallen down to earth.
My feet are pushing me out of my seat with a mind of their own and I'm walking to him, breathing slowly through my nose. I'm afraid to blink because I feel like if I do, he'll disappear from right in front of me. He feels like an illusion, like something that I'll try to grab hold to only for it to disappear as soon as I touch it.
I stop when I'm about five feet away from him, eyes watering up. "Hi," I whisper, sounding eight years old again.
"Hi," he repeats. And then he smiles and he's eight years old again too and I can't help myself from flying into his arms and pulling him close to me.
His arms are the same as he wraps them around my waist and pulls me into a bone crushing hug, one that warms me up from my toes to the crown of my head. There's no words passed between us as we hold each other but it's as if everything we'd been through is passed between our bodies. The pain, the hatred, the longing, the love. I squeeze him tighter.
He doesn't let me go first and I have no intention of pulling back from him, but I do. I wish I was exaggerating when I said every eye was on us, but I wasn't.
I shrink under the gazes of our classmates and realize with slight surprise that I'd just hugged Sebastian in front of the entire school. I wait for the feeling of remorse to wash over me, wait for me to regret showing people how much I cared for this boy but then I turn back to look at him.
His bright blue eyes are still on me. They hadn't left my face the entire time. He didn't care what people thought of us together. He'd been waiting for me to not care as well. A small smile spreads across my lips.
I think I surprise every person in the room as I stand on my toes and cup Sebastian's cheek in my hand. And then, like gravity pulling us both down to earth, our lips find one another's.
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sorry for the late update yall, i moved into college today 😄! i love you guys <33333