She hears the fire blasts. The screams. The lightsabers whirls. But everything is blurred together. She can barely focus. Her vision is blurry and all she can think about is her unborn child. It's gone. Kenna faintly sees Ahsoka as she lands inside where the Magistrate is.
"Hand her over, she's done nothing wrong~" But her voice is so distant. Kenna falls forward as her vision is consumed by darkness. And the last words she ever heard in her life from her lover was:
"That's what I thought...I can't believe I cared for you. I can't be with you,"
A/N: By popular demand, I gave you all another chapter! There are over 4k words because there are flashbacks from previous chapters, I'd like to see if you guys still remember those moments!! I hope you enjoy and cry along with me :)
~~~
"So you threw in with the Jedi's?"
"Looks that way," Din responds, completely unaware of what has happened to Kenna. Distant shouting and lightsaber whirls and clashes can be heard as Din stares down at Lang.
"Who do you think's going to win?" He shouts over at the unmoving Mandalorian. He doesn't respond and Lang takes a step forward, continuing. "Could be your side," He takes another step. "Could be my side," They both listen to the grunts and the clashes of beskar and saber. Lang smiles cockily and listens to it as if it is a melody. All Din can think is if Kenna is safe. Ahsoka says she is. So she has to be okay...right? "I got no quarrel with you, Mandalorian," Lang continues to slowly close the large gap between them.
"That's far enough," He raises his arm as well to motion for him to stop. His hand hovers over his blaster.
"Your other girl doesn't look good covered in blood," Lang says as he stays put. "Her howl of pain isn't very attractive either. You know...she's got something in her. Even with her abilities gone...she put up a good fight until...she stopped moving," Din's fingers twitch by his blaster as he stares at the man who is taunting him. He wants to put a hole through his chest but he decides against it. He hasn't done anything yet and he's already made enough mistakes. "You and I are a lot alike," Din sighs in annoyance. "Willing to lay our lives down for the right cause," His hand inches closer to his blaster when he notices Lang shift his rifle in his hands. "Which this is not," There's a loud clatter and then a stable humming of a lightsaber. "Sounds like you win," Lang steps forward and slowly lowers his rifle, giving Din a toothy grin. He relaxes only slightly, knowing this man has something up his sleeve. His hand moves away from his blaster in the holster as Lang steps away. He quickly tries to shoot Din with a blaster but the Mandalorian is faster. Lang falls back, dead, and Din smirks beneath his helmet.
A villager opens his door and Din turns to see him and another man exit. The first man nods and Din returns the gesture.
"Behind you!" He quickly says when looking at the roof behind the Mandalorian. Din is quick to turn, pull out his blaster and shoot down the assassin droid. The body rolls off the roof and clatters on the ground, it's legs scattering away from the torso.
"Kenna," Din quickly runs to the gates to see Ahsoka crouching down, her back to him.
"Where's the Magistrate?" He sees the beskar spear by her feet.
"She's...taken care of," Her voice cracks slightly.
"Where's Kenna?" Ahsoka doesn't respond but stands up. Din sees the Magistrate cape where Ahsoka was, a lump beneath it. His heart falls but he doesn't want to believe it. "Where's...where...is she?" Ahsoka rubs her arms and looks at Din with sorrow. But he doesn't believe it. He can't. He doesn't want to. Din grips onto Kenna's lightsaber on his hip as he shakes his head. "Ahsoka,"
"I...I don't think you should see her,"
"WHERE IS SHE!?" Ahsoka sighs and looks at the cape and Din begins to shake. Ahsoka steps away picks up the spear and walks to the gates. He crouches down by the cape. "Kenna?" He whispers softly as he would if he was waking her up from a long nap. He doesn't want to scare her so he keeps his voice quiet. "Kenna? Riddur?" He grips the cape and pulls it off before looking away quickly. Ahsoka looks on with sorrow before looking down at her feet, tears forming in her eyes.
Din slowly looks back at her and a muffled scream leaves his lips as he brings her body to his. He lifts her on his lap and pushes back her hair that stuck to her bloodied face. He rocks her body back and forth, sobbing hard. Everything seems to slow down, his movements seem to slow down and his cries sound distant. Ahsoka allows a single tear to fall down her orange face as she looks on. "CYARE!" Din cries out in an attempt to wake her up. "Please!" His shoulders shake as he cradles her body. His whole world has been crashed. The thing that meant the most to him has been diminished from his life. He feels his world crumbling as he rocks the lifeless body of his riddur.
He brings her body closer and hugs it tightly, not wanting to believe she died. "Wake up for me!" He breaks down as her head falls back, her eyes opening slightly.
"Din," It's so quiet he barely hears it.
"Riddur!" A small, weak smile breaks across her face as her dull eyes begin to flutter close.
"At...least," She coughs hard, blood flying from her mouth and staining his beskar helmet. "You...came...back," He cries as her eyes shut, never to open again. He continues to hold her body as memories haunt him, from his first encounter with her...
~~~
"Annnnd, done," With a proud smirk she tore of the cuffs and instantly she was pushed into a pole behind her, winding her.
"Who are you? Who are you working for? Why are you helping me?" He asked, his right forearm pressed against her neck and his left hand placed beside her head against the pole. Her arms instantly gripped his arm as her breaths came out short and ragged.
"I...I...I'm...C...Cor...Cora...an...and...I...I don't work for...anyone," He loosened his grip slightly but not enough for her to escape.
"Why are you helping me? How can I trust you?" He growled.
"Y...you can't trust me," She breathed slowly. "But there's no way to get out of here without my help, considering you've landed a good few miles away," Kenna snapped, reaching for her blaster but he seemed to noticed and quickly grabbed her arm and pinned it above her head. "Sorry, we just have some company," CHPT.1
~~~
To every adventure, they did and completed together.
~~~
"Don't pay me with money, but let me stay, let me run away with you. Take me to see the stars," CHPT.2
---
"Ya know, referring you to 'Mandalorian' seems a bit too formal...is there something smaller I can say," He doesn't respond but looks forward. She closes her eyes and begins to use force to hear his thoughts.
'D...Din Djarin'. She smirks and leans back in her seat. "I like the name Din, rolls off the tongue easily," He snaps his head in her direction, clearly in shock.
"How did you...?"
"I can have some secrets, Din,"
"Don't use that near others," He stated firmly.
"I get it, you're a Mandalorian, codes, identity must be kept secret, this is that way. Blah blah," She mocks but Din smiles under the mask. CHPT.3
---
"You can sleep," He says and she looks up at him.
"What about you?"
"I don't need to sleep," She narrows her eyes. "Don't try reading my mind or I'll hand you over,"
"Finnneee," She whines as sleep catches up with her; freeing a Mandalorian, escaping prison, being shot, fixing a ship, Din finding out her real name and about to fight off raiders. Her eyes flutter close and she drifts into sleep.
Once Din is sure she is asleep, he finds he can sleep too, knowing she is okay... but why was he feeling this weird connection with Kenna? CHPT.4
---
"They...died...a long time ago," He distracts himself by extracting the poison from her leg.
"Oh, Din," She places her hand on the side of his helmet and he looks up at her. They don't talk as he finishes up and she quickly leaves so he can eat.
Something about her made him feel something weird inside of him. It was something foreign but it felt...good? When she says his name something inside of him warms up, but what is it? Why was he feeling this, for her? CHPT.5
---
A blast is heard and everyone looks over and Din gets his blaster, jumping over to see Cara above at smouldering corpse of a bounty hunter. He then sees Kenna's cuffed body laying by a log, a small cut on the side of her head.
"Kenna!" He sits by her to check her pulse which is still beating steadily and he sighs in relief. Cara gives Din the two fobs. CHPT.6
~~~
The moment Kenna stopped betraying him because she loved him. That was the day she allowed her family to die for him. The consequences she took for him.
~~~
"I...I don't know why you mean so much to me, having someone on the Razor Crest is something new and I feel like I have this responsibility to ensure your safety. I know you can fight but you barely survived Grafton and I don't understand but if something was to happen to you...I...I would...I would feel like it was my fault and I'd never forgive myself," He looks away from her as she thinks about what to say and she sits beside him and snuggles into his side.
"You can protect me all you like then," She smiles and accidentally falls asleep on him. He smiles slightly and protectively wraps an arm around her.
'At least she'll allow me to protect her,' He thinks as he holds his blaster in his other hand in case anyone was to come and harm his Kenna. CHPT.7
---
"Fine. But only if you sleep with me, like what we did on Sorgan, I was comfortable,"
"And so was I," She smiles and drags him to his room. She bounces on the double bed and slides to the wall as he removes his beskar armour and neatly piles it up before sliding in next to her. They look at each other for a long time.
"I'm cold," She says, pulling the blanket further on. She gets closer to Din and snuggles into him. "Is this okay?" She looks up at him.
"Of course it is, Cyar'ika," CHPT.8
---
"You say a lot of things, promise a lot of things but you're a Mandalorian, none of it is true, is it?" CHPT.9
~~~
Thinking about when she said that when he met up with his old, nasty team, he cries harder. He promised to keep her safe. He promised to stay with her forever. He promised he would never leave her no matter what he did.
Her left her.
He didn't protect her.
He didn't keep her safe.
He failed because he left. He broke their vow when he was worried it would be her to break the vow but it was him. He broke the vow and now she is dead.
~~~
"KENNA!" He continues his attack on the door as they drag her away. "Please..." He watches in horror as they all run away, laughing and cheering about their 'new prize'. A heavy feeling settles over him as pain fills his heart...not physical pain...emotional pain. CHPT.10
---
"This is all my fault," He hisses, guilt flooding over him as he sees Kenna's bruised form. "I'm so so sorry, cyare," He speaks before moving around her and getting to work. CHPT.11
~~~
"This is all my fault," He says, his sobs making it hard for him to speak as he looks at Kenna's bloodied, bruised, dead from. "I'm so sorry, riddur," He buries his head in the crook of his neck as he continues to cry out in pain. She left him. She didn't want to leave him but she did. But she left unwillingly because he willingly left.
~~~
"Oh! How rude of me! Come, come," She takes hold of Bennic's hand and runs over to where Din is standing. "Bennic, this is Mando. Mando this is Bennic," CHPT.12
~~~
Bennic. The man who betrayed her. Who betrayed them. He remembered his anger when he betrayed Kenna who trusted him with her life. And now he has taken that place. He betrayed his riddur who trusted him with her life and now she has died.
~~~
"You're right, no one said we were friends," She looks at her feet and shifts uncomfortably. "I...I just thought after what we've been through we would...but it doesn't matter...looks like Mandalorians never change," CHPT.13
~~~
He left her. Abandoned her. The last words he said to her were the worse words he's ever spoken to her. She didn't think they were lovers or friends because he left her. He left her to die alone in the most painful way.
~~~
"But it won't...I...I don't know why but I can't lose you..."
"What? Because you'll...you'll feel guilty," She chuckles slightly as her eyelids become harder to keep open.
"No...I'll feel lost," CHPT.14
~~~
The last time she died...she came back. But before she took her last breath, he talked to her. Told her how he felt and how he couldn't lose her. But this time, she saw the Mandalorian who rejected...disowned her because she was the puppet of the Empire. Something she couldn't help. She wanted to protect her friends-her family.
~~~
"I could've lost you," Was all he said, looking away from Kenna's confused stare. "You could've died, and it would've been my fault,"
"Din, it wouldn't-"
"But it would've. I say I would protect but every time I try, you end up almost dying," He said in a quiet voice. "And that's not fair for you...I shouldn't force you to stay. You've said multiple times you want to leave...you'll probably be safer if we did what you said and not listened to my arrogance," He expects her to comfort him but when she doesn't talk, he looks at her and she is staring into the water in her cup.
"You're right," She starts. "I would've been safer if I left...but I wouldn't be happy," He tilts his head in confusion. "I'd rather be with you than alone on some deserted planet. I'd rather feel the adrenaline of a chase or hunt than waking up to the golden sun and working on some farm. I'd rather be with Din Djarin than anyone else," CHPT.15
~~~
She probably regrets that decision, Din thinks coldly as he holds Kenna's hand in his gloved ones, trying to give her body warmth to be alive once more. He regrets everything he has done. How he was the reason she died. He said it when they were leaving Hoth and the blame became reality. How lucky he was.
~~~
"FINE! I CAME BACK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" CHPT.19
---
"I believe it is time to make your clan of two, a clan of three," CHAPT.28
---
"I will never forget our first meeting when I saw you among the murderous men, yet you still stood strong above them. You went out of your own way to rescue me and the child, even though you had no idea what the outcome would be. You then spent days with me and eventually, those days turned into weeks and then those weeks turned into months. Over the time I had the pleasure of knowing you...I've never felt happier, you filled this dark hole in my heart, both you and the child. I spent all my days protecting you and it hurt me to see you get hurt, physically and emotionally. Leaving you to die was the hardest mission of all I have ever done. Over these past few months, I have fallen stupidly in love with you, Kenna, I don't know what I would do if you never came back," Kenna wipes away her tears as he brings out a black velvet box. "Kenna Skywalker, my beauty and grace, my riddur...will you marry me?" CHPT.30
---
She yells and charges at him, her saber raised high. His eyes widen as he lifts his beskar covered arms to block her oncoming attack. The Mythrol gasps and covers his mouth as the duo fight. Kenna kicks Din's legs from beneath him and he falls. He uses his flame thrower to stop Kenna's saber and blinds her temporarily. CHPT.45
---
"Please! Please you're all I have!" Ahsoka slowly approaches Kenna. "I love you!"
"Where?"
"What?"
"Where is this love?"
"Din...please...I can't...I,"
"That's what I thought...I can't believe I cared for you. I can't be with you,"
"No! Don't do this!" Kenna falls to her knees and begins to sob. "Din! Don't leave you're all I want! I can't live without you!"He turns his back to her. "And...and if that makes me weak...then...let it be," He stops and turns his head, giving Kenna slight hope. CHPT.49
~~~
He curses while tears soak his face. She meant what she said. She couldn't live without him.
"Mando," Ahsoka calls out from behind him. "What will you do with her body? Bury...burn?" She asks but he doesn't respond. "Where will she go? Her home?" Din keeps Kenna close to his chest as he rocks her back and forth, not believing she is gone. She can't. This isn't fair! Or...is it? He deserves this pain he is feeling but she didn't deserve to die!
"We can still save her," Din says quietly and Ahsoka frowns.
"We can't-"
"We can...Grogu saved her life on Hoth..."
"She's been dead for a long time..."
"No...no...she opened her eyes and talked to me," Ahsoka presses her lips together while she wipes away her tears. She failed her master once again. She failed both Helena and Anakin. She couldn't protect their child. They were probably frowning upon her now.
~~~
Din lays Kenna's body on his bunk while he holds her hand, the beskar spear put by his feet.
"Din," His heart jumps and he looks at Kenna when hearing her voice but sees she's still pale and lifeless. Ahsoka helped him clean her body and bandage her wounds. Ahsoka cried afterwards because of how Din believes she's still alive. It hurt her to see him, a Mandalorian, not believe death after how many times he's seen it. "Din," The voice is colder and rough. He closes his eyes, placing his bare face to Kenna's hand. "How could you do this?"
"Kenna?"
"You left me. You left me when I needed you!" Behind him, Kenna stands, bloodied and bruised and transparent. She is light blue, highlighting she was a force ghost. "Why did you leave me?!"
"I...I had to...had to process...everything,"
"I NEEDED YOU AND NOW LOOK AT WHAT HAS HAPPENED! I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!" Din jolts in his bunk, sweat dripping from his face. He quickly walks out of his room and opens the other door to see Kenna laying perfectly still. A nightmare. There's a knock at his ship and he pulls on his helmet before opening the ramp where Ahsoka stands.
"It's morning," She said and Din nodding, stepping aside to let her in. "I don't know if this will work," She looks over at Grogu who still sleeps. They haven't let him gone near her or told him about his mothers' death. But he has been acting sad. Ahsoka has a gut feeling Grogu sensed the pain Kenna went through and he felt when she died. He heard her heartbeat come to an end.
"We have to try," Ahsoka nods and walks into the room and closes the door. Din goes over to Grogu and frowns. "She'll be okay," He says, running a finger down on his ear. "I want her to be okay...She should be okay...okay?"
~~~
Kenna takes a big gasp of air as she sits straight up. She rubs her eyes at the blinding white light and uses her hand to shield her face.
"You okay?" A familiar voice said as she is helped to stand. She blinks a few times and looks to see miles and miles of nothing, just pure white space. "Kenna, speak to me?" She turns her head to see her father standing there with a smile. He's no longer pale blue or transparent, he's...real. She reaches up to him and presses her hand to the side of his face. It's warm. He's warm. He smiles warmly at her and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Is this...the afterlife?" She says sadly and Anakin shakes his head and sighs.
"No," She tilts her head in confusion and he rubs his hand on her back. "This...this is the midway point from life to death,"
"So...I'm still alive?"
"Barely, soon...without he correct surgery, you will die,"
"Why am I here then? There's no way Din can find the correct medic, we're on Corvus...and he wouldn't search the galaxy for me...not anymore,"
"Ahsoka is the correct medic...if she tries...she can save you,"
"How did I survive though?"
"You can thank your mother...she...has a power. It's a strong power she passed down to you. Currently, that power is what is keeping you alive. You have no pulse nor heat beat but your mind is connected to your body. If Ahsoka can heal you, you'll be back,"
"I don't want to go back into a world where no one likes me," She states. "I want to stay here with you and mother,"
"Din loves you," Anakin reasons causing his daughter to scoff.
"You listen to everything but not my confession about Gideon,"
"Kenna, I listened to that and then watched him come back. He came back for you. He wanted to apologise, he wanted to explain his side and he understood you were pinned by the Empire,"
"Your lying,"
"I'm not-!"
"He's not," Kenna turns her head to see a very familiar face appear. "I watched the ordeal happen and Din came back for you. He loves you so very much and he understands. He knows you love him more than anything," Kenna hangs her head.
"But I don't want to be thrown back into a world where people want to capture me just to relive this moment a later time...this hurts...physically," She grips her chest and the new face holds her shoulders.
"Listen to me Kenna, you'll forget all about this. You'll forget the pain and forget the peace here. You'll be glad to return," She wraps her arms around Kenna for the first time. Hugging her grown-up daughter for the first time in forever. Kenna sobs and hugs back. Anakin walks over and wraps his family in a hug, wishing this moment could last forever as all three of them fall to the ground, crying. Kenna cries from the pain and sadness. Helena cries from the joy of seeing and hugging her daughter. Anakin cries because he holds what he broke.
~~~
Ahsoka exits the room with a soft sigh. She sees Din holding Grogu who looks at the door longingly.
"He should see her," She states. Din slowly nods and looks down at the baby.
"Are you sure you can't take him,"
"Go to where I told you. There he will contact the Jedi. I can't take him...his attachment makes him vulnerable," She nods and strokes his ear. "Goodbye,"
"Is...is she...?"
"Let him see her...I...tried everything," She sighs sadly and looks over the restored town.
"Goodbye, Ahsoka...and...and thank you," She smiles and nods before stepping off the ramp. Din closes the ramp and looks at the door where the dead lays. He looks down at Grogu who coos sadly and walks to the door, pressing a hand to it. "Let me get into hyperspace and then..." He wants to delay seeing the inevitable. He either sees his riddur alive or dead. There are no more second chances. He climbs the ladder and quickly puts in the coordinates to Tython. Once the stars begin to zoom by he looks down at the ladder.
He walks down and sees Grogu still waiting at the door, his eyes watering. Din removes his helmet and places on the table, wanting to see her face. Wanting to remember everything clearly...just in case.
He raises his shaking hand to the door handle before pulling back. He picks up Grogu who whines and reaches to the door. "I know...I know," He reassures with a soft voice though it cracks slightly. "I just...I'm not ready," The child coos sadly before Din places his hand back on the handle. He curses before opening the door and seeing the inevitable laying in front of him.