Mia's pov:
7.AM
I wake up to the nurses are calling our names through the ward, and a line for the shower is forming. I dress up and walk to the end of a line and wait. As I finally get my chance to shower I turn my back at the door and clean myself.
After the shower, I went back to my room to chill. I've been here for 5 days already. They took me here after being in a hospital for a day. It's been pretty boring but I surprisingly made a friend. She is a few doors down the hall away from me. Her name's Kate. She's 17 and has been here for a month. Her past is pretty rough. I got ready and made my way to the cafeteria. The breakfast they serve us here holy shit. Shit's not good at all. I threw up my breakfast the first 3 days. I barely ate anything dude. I just wanted to go home.
I turn around trying to find a place to sit. I was trying to find Kate. I walk around and looking for places. Some bitches gave me dirty stares. Just mind your own business dude. I finally find an empty table and sit down. I would always isolate myself from everyone. I rather eat alone than sit with a group of people. I'm not comfortable with that. But Kate came to me by herself. The first day here she sat down next to me ate and talked to me. She told me so much about herself. She's really sweet.
"Hi" Kate sits down
"Hi" I reply "I didn't see you in the shower's where were you?" I ask
"Oh I slept in, sorry" she smiled
"It's okay"
"Wait when did you say you're going back home?"
"2 days" I answer while drinking my tee
"Lucky" she sighed
"You are still going to be here for a while huh?" I say
"Yeah, unfortunately" she looked down
"How did you sleep?" she asked
"I slept good" I lie. It was trash. I had horrible dreams "You?"
"I barely got some sleep. Those pills don't fucking help" she rolled her eyes. She has insomnia
"I'm sorry"
"It's okay"
We finished our breakfast and went back to our rooms. I waited for the nurse to bring me my medication.
"Hi Mia how are you today?" the nurse comes in
"I'm good" I smile.
"Here's your medication as always" she put the pills on the shelf and gave me a cup of water. I take the pills and swallow them. I was tired of doing this.
To be honest, if you ask me if I'm getting better. No, I'm not. But talking to my therapist every day helps a little. My sister and Noah would come to visit me every day. No one else. I felt alone and lost here. It's horrible. I just want to be happy for once and when I finally am shit goes down again. I've been struggling for years now and it's all so fucked up. I can never get better. The circle repeats all the time. Shit is exhausting. And lying to the people I love the most is even shitier. I got Billie out of my mind for a while but I'd still think of her at night. I'd mostly cry every night. I miss my dad. I miss Emma and Daniel. I miss Billie. I miss my mom. I just wished she gave a fuck. I'm sure my sister called her. Or maybe she actually didn't. I don't know. I just wish shit would get better.
"So tell me about your friends today" my therapist asked. Every day I had a conversation with my therapist.
I just stayed quiet. I didn't want to talk about anything today. We have talked about my dad where I balled my eyes out, about my mom, and about my sister. I mean the only two friends i have are Daniel and Emma. Or should I say had? I and Daniel haven't talked since he got himself a girlfriend. The last time I and Emma talked when I was in Hawaii. To be honest the only people that give a shit about me right now are Billie, my sister and Billie's mom Maggie.
"Mia" she waves in front of my face "you're zoning out, is something wrong?"
"No"
"Okay well say something"
"I don't know"
"I'm sure you have some friends"
"Yeah I guess I do umm one of my friends is Emma I guess she's my friend I don't know"
"Why is that?"
"We haven't talked in like so long"
"Well you'll get to today I guess" she smiles
"What do you mean?" I looked at her confused
"She is on the visitation list"
"WAIT REALLY?"
"Yeah, she didn't tell you?" she handed me the visitation list.
I looked under my name and saw Emma. How does she know? Did Billie tell her? Probably.
"There's also another girl and a guy which we didn't write their name on here"
"Wait really who?"
"Billie and uh.."
WHAT?!
"Finneas O'Connell. They didn't write their names on here because of the privacy they're I mean Billie is pretty famous so... you never mentioned you know Billie Eilish"
IS SHE CRAZY? SHE CAN'T COME SHE'S LITERALLY FAMOUS.
"Uh yeah we know each other for a while now"
"Well they're going to come straight to your room since they would get recognized in the visitation room is that okay?"
"Yeah"
Is she really going to come? She literally wrote in that letter that she can't. Maybe Finneas made her do it. Holy shit. What am I going to say? Fuck.
Our conversation with my therapist and I was really short because I had nothing much to say. I told her a little about Emma. I kept zoning out and thinking about Billie.
Welp, it is visiting time right now and I'm looking at Emma sitting there and waiting for me to come. I walk to the table and sit down. I look at Emma.
"Hi," she says after a while
"Hi" I reply and look down.
She just sighs.
"How are you?" she asks
"I'm good"
"I'm sorry" she says quietly
"What for?" I gave her a weird look
"Because I didn't text you and I just ended the call I didn't know if I should tell you well I guess you know now.."
"Wait what?" I asked confusingly
She just looked down.
"What didn't you tell me?" I wanted to know.
"About um I don't think I should say it-"
"No, tell me, say it" I insisted. The hell was she talking about?
"About your dad-"
"My dad is dead Emma" I say. Everyone looked at me
"I know" she looked away
"Wait that was it? You wanted to tell me that my dad is dead?"
She nodded.
"How'd you know"
"I saw the ambulance and my mom told me the next day"
"Fuck. Does the school know?"
"yeah" she took a breath "Everyone knows about you and Billie"
"WHAT?" I cover my mouth after I say it. I was too loud
"Yeah there were pictures of you and her everywhere over the media Billie posted them"
"What the hell?"
"And the school also knows someone showed them. Well basically now everyone knows where you have been the past two weeks but they don't know about this only the school. I told the counselor because she saw me crying in the hallway once"
"Oh damn"
"Yeah... you were supposed to be expelled for ditching but since they know you're here and about your dad, they won't."
"Shit" I look at her with my eyes wide open
"The time is over you can come tomorrow let's go" they said through the speaker
We both stand up and she hugs me
"Please take care of yourself" she whispers in my ear
"I will thank you for coming" I pull away
She leaves and we all go back to our rooms. I totally forgot about Billie. Is she even coming?
I sat in my room for about 10 or 15 minutes
Suddenly the door opens and 2 people walk in with hoods over their heads. Billie.
"Thank you" Finneas says while taking his hood off and closing the door
"Hi, Mia" he hugs me "How are you?" he sits down next to me
Billie was just standing there with her hood on. Not moving at all.
"I-I'm good" I look at Billie and back at Finneas
"Billie stop acting like that and come here" he looked back at Billie
Billie didn't move at all. She just stood there. Fuck what have I done?
"You know what maybe I should wait outside" Finneas says and puts his hood on
He passes Billie and whispers something in her ear and then leaves.
"Hi" I say
Billie didn't say anything.
"Can you please say something please" I felt bad. What have I done?
She came over and sat down next to me. She took her hood off and looked at me. She looked so bad. She had bags under her eyes and her eyes looked tired. I grab her hand.
"Hi" she finally says and smiles at me
"I'm sorry" I start tearing up
"It's okay-"
"What have I done? Look at your eyes"
"Baby I'm fine-"
"Billie you're clearly not and I'm the reason why"
She just looks down and goes through her hair with her hand.
"Did you get the letter-"
"Yeah I read it"
"Okay" she sighs
"Well how are you?" she asks again
"I'm okay"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"Please don't lie-"
"I missed you. A lot" I interrupt her
"I missed you too. A lot" she made a small smile
"How are you?" I ask her
"I'm happy that I could come and see you. When are you coming home?"
"2 days hopefully"
"Can I pick you up?" she asks
"My sister already said she's going to I'm sorry"
"Oh it's okay people would probably recognize me anyway" she sighed
"Yeah" I look down
"Well take care and as soon as you come home call me okay?"
"Okay I will"
"Promise?"
"Promise" I smile
She kisses me and puts rubs my cheek with her hand.
"I love you" she says
"I love you too Bils" I say which apparently made her blush.
We say goodbye and she leaves. I can't explain how happy she makes me. I grab my phone and go through the pictures I took in Hawaii. I kept smiling. God I can't believe she's my girlfriend.
A/N
hi guys i published part 34 idk when the fuck but i did. I published the wrong part on accident lol. oops.
anyway take care i love you