The glass of wine slips from my hand and shatters on the floor. Red wine and glass shards splatter across the floor, but I barely notice.
We stare at the mess at my feet. I look back up at Conor and glare at him. Adam is by my side in an instant. Another moment and Jacob is flanking him.
Conor drops to a crouch, knives flashing before I see him move. Gabe stands between his younger cousin and the threat that the vampires present.
I couldn't care less about the male posturing going on. "What do you mean? Are you saying your family is going to kill Gabe for saving my life?" I demand.
I'm blustering to hide the fear crawling up my spine. I step forward with my hands on my hips to confront Conor, who I know is merely the messenger, but I can't separate my anger from him or the message from the messenger. He represents Gabe's dysfunctional family right now.
"Hellfire, Gabriel! What are you doing spending time with the likes of these? Do you hate your family so much that you befriend the enemy of all The Living?" Conor says, ignoring my question—ignoring me.
Ignoring his cousin and staring down the two vampires at my side, Gabe says, "For the record, if there is a fight, I stand with my family."
Gabe's body language says he's ready to throw down right here in my entry hall if the situation calls for it.
I'm overwhelmed by the tense emotion rolling off Gabe and the feeling of power coming from all sides. It's difficult to think clearly.
"Nobody is fighting anyone, so back to my question. Do you plan to kill Gabe?" I ask, trying to ignore all the testosterone floating around me.
"It's not me that wants him dead. His family has argued in his defense, but we were overruled by a vote of the council." Looking at Gabe, he says, "I volunteered to give you the message so I could warn you. As your cousin, and on behalf of your father, uncles, and family, we beg you to go into hiding. Don't come home and make us watch your execution. I think your father fears you'll do just that."
"Your family would actually kill him for helping me? What kind of a sick twisted family does that? I don't understand," I say, exasperated.
Realizing that I voiced my thoughts out loud, I look up at Gabe sheepishly.
"I'm so sorry, Gabe! I shouldn't have said that about your family. I'm worried about you. What will you do? I feel responsible for all of this."
He smiles at me as he takes my hands in his. He eyes Adam, then turns his attention to me.
"It's okay, Sam. Most families have dirty little secrets. Ours is on a much grander scale." He gives me a crooked smile. "This is not your fault. I made the decision to leave the pendant and the vial for you. I knew what I was doing. This is my responsibility and my problem. I'll work it out," he says, releasing my hands and turning to Conor.
"Let's go to my place to talk."
Turning back at the door, he looks at me. "Thank you for dinner." He leans over and kisses my cheek before closing the door. I feel helpless when he's gone.
Jacob is already using a towel from the kitchen to clean up the glass and wine that I dropped. I turn from the door and see Dayna standing at the edge of the living room looking concerned. I wonder how much she heard. I drop down to help Jacob, and Adam turns to lead Dayna back into the living room.
"Thank you for helping me," I say as we crouch together, picking up pieces of glass.
He gives me a warm smile that makes it hard not to like him. I don't know if I want to like him or not. It depends on his intentions toward Dayna.
"What are your intentions with Dayna?" There, I said it.
He laughs out loud. "Are you always so direct, Sam?" he asks, still laughing softly.
"I am when my friend's heart is at stake," I say, trying to keep my voice low. "What are you doing with her?" He raises his eyebrows at me, feigning shock. "I don't mean that! Do you care about her? What game are you playing? Why didn't you leave her alone if you're going to disappear soon?"
He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment. "I had planned to keep my distance and simply watch her." He looks away as if lost in thought. "But I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She's so full of life, and she's always laughing about something. Her beauty runs deep," he says, looking me in the eyes again.
I'm shocked by what I see on his face.
"Are you in love with her?" I ask in wonder.
He laughs out loud again.
"It's a pleasure talking to you, Sam," he says, ignoring my question as he turns and heads to the kitchen with the towel full of red wine and broken glass.
This conversation is so not over. I follow Jacob into the kitchen.
"Are you going to answer the question?" I ask, wondering why everyone seems to know my kitchen as intimately as I do.
"Do I ask about your ménage a trois? I've often wondered why Adam allows it."
He's smiling as he says this and looks sideways at me while walking out of the kitchen to join the others.
As usual, I'm left standing there dumbstruck, before I can even think of a rebuke. Was Jacob serious or teasing? Does he think I'm romantically, or sexually, involved with both men? Or did he mean at the same time? Oh no!
The sun has set, and Dayna is sitting on the patio with Jacob in what looks like a serious conversation. I would like to know what they're discussing. I move into the living room and sit next to Adam on the sofa.
"What did you say to Dayna? Did she ask about the situation with Conor?" I ask, turning my body toward him.
"Dayna knows what Jacob is, and she may have guessed that I'm the same," Adam says casually.
He throws an arm over the sofa putting his hand behind my neck. I simply blink at him. When did Jacob tell her?
"Why would he share his secret with her? Why did he become involved with her in the first place?" I ask.
"Jacob chose to tell her about himself several days ago. You will need to ask him the "why". I can only speculate," he says, starting to play with a piece of my hair.
I try to ignore it.
"And what would you speculate?" I pull my head away from his fingers.
He ignores this and picks up another piece to focus on.
"I suspect he cares for her." He's watching the strands of my hair in his fingers like it's a curious thing.
"Is this his usual MO? Does he leave girls in each city you visit, a trail of broken hearts?" I ask, feeling myself getting angry at the thought.
He stops playing with my hair to look me in the eyes. "No," he says.
"No, what? What are you saying, Adam?" I pull my hair out of his grasp once more.
"No, he doesn't leave broken hearts in his wake. No, this is not like him. No, he does not tell people what we are," he says, looking angry now. "Why do you think so lowly of Jacob when you barely know him? Do you think that because he's a vampire that he has no moral compass?"
There is no question that he's mad now. I'm not sure if we're talking about Jacob anymore. I say nothing. I listen and watch his eyes start to glow with his conviction.
"Or maybe you assume that vampires are demons from hell and that we feel nothing."
I do interrupt him now.
"I didn't say that! I want to know what his intentions are with my friend," I say, trying to keep my voice down.
I look over and see that someone closed the patio doors. Forgetting about the supernatural hearing is easy. Adam is looking at me like he might explode any minute. I think I've hit another nerve. It seems that I have a knack for finding his.
"We feel everything, more acutely than most. All our senses are heightened; our emotions and our feelings are off the scale. It drives many to insanity in the first decade. Some learn to control to a certain degree, but few master it. Each day presents a new set of choices. Every action is a choice—some more difficult than others. It is our actions that define us, say who we are. Not what we eat to survive." I feel a breeze that makes my hair ruffle around my face, and he's gone. The front door clicks shut as he leaves.
That may have been the closest look at the man behind the vampire that I've had. He's right. I've made many assumptions about him and Jacob. I never once considered them capable of human emotions such as happiness, love, sadness. He's always seemed larger than life, set-apart.
Could Jacob have feelings for Dayna? I want to believe that he does. What I'm really wondering is can Adam have feelings for me? Can he view me as more than a fling or a challenge to overcome? And is that what I want?
When Adam marked me with his blood, I dismissed the idea, but what does it mean, really? How many people has he marked in the past? Part of me doesn't want to bring it up again, but the smarter part of me knows I need answers.
And what to do about Gabe. I feel responsible, but how do I help him?
Dayna and Jacob come in from the patio and break through my gloomy thoughts. I stand and look at Dayna. She smiles. "We're going to leave now. Let's plan to talk soon. It appears we have a lot of things to discuss." I nod.
We hug each other, and she turns to leave. I'm surprised again when Jacob brushes a brief kiss on my cheek before leaving. He winks at me before following Dayna out.
* * *
After the last dish is cleaned and all the food is put away, I pour a glass of wine and head to my bathroom to take a long hot shower. I wish Adam wasn't mad at me, and that Gabe's family wasn't planning to kill him, but I love having my condo to myself for a little while. I can't remember the last time I was able to walk around naked, or even in my underwear for that matter.
I won't be doing any of that tonight since both men tend to show up without knocking. Adam has never once knocked or asked to come in, and Gabe stopped knocking once I gave him a key.
Gabe hasn't returned, and I don't know if I should be worried or not. Adam is normally here in the evenings, but he might not come back tonight.
My shower felt amazing, but now I'm feeling tired and fatigued from a busy day. I finish up in the bathroom and head into my bedroom.
Adam is sitting on my bed, and I'm so startled I scream and jump.
"Oh my lord! Do you have to scare the crap out of me all the time? What are you doing in here?" I ask, holding my robe closed and tucking my hair behind my ear. He seems to have no concept of personal space.
He leans back on one elbow, looking way too comfortable in my bed. Why does he always have to look like my latest fantasy? It's beginning to cut into my self-control.
"I think it's time we work on your fighting skills. Gabe has a blade that we think you should start carrying. We can both teach you how to use it," he says, looking me up and down with what looks like more than weapons on his mind.
I'm guessing he's not mad at me anymore or he's choosing to ignore it for the moment. I adjust the tie on my robe, making sure it's secure.
"I'd love to learn how to use a knife, but what good would it do me against a vampire?" I ask, crossing my arms and leaning on my dresser.
He moves to a sitting position, still looking at me like I'm a dessert or something. He should have had some pie. The kitchen is closed.
"This is no ordinary blade we are talking about. The blade I'm referring to has been blessed by angels and will kill a vampire if it touches our heart. Any injury from this blade won't heal quickly and will leave a nasty scar," he says, watching me.
He knows I'm intrigued. I study my nails for show. That's only part of the problem having men around that know what I'm feeling. It's like cheating.
"So, I could kill Zac myself?" I ask, slanting a look at him.
The corners of his mouth turn up slightly.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?" He looks like he likes my way of thinking, even if he won't give me the opportunity. "This is a precaution. Let's say it's something to give you an edge if the situation goes wrong. We are trying to account for every variable, but inevitably there is always something missed, even with a good plan. I believe Gabe is fashioning a sheath to help you conceal it." He stands, and I jump a little. I don't know why.
"Jumpy tonight?" he asks with that hint of a smile on his lips.
"I'm always jumpy when you're around. Something in the blood, I guess." I give him a snotty look, not liking that he has any effect on me.
Suddenly, I'm in his arms, and his lips are on my ear. My hands are on his chest without me even realizing that I put them there. A shiver runs through my core, and a flame ignites in my abdomen. I love—and hate—the feelings he commands in my body.
I've never liked being out of control, and it's a constant battle around him.
"What are you doing?" I ask breathlessly.
My heart is racing, and I know he feels my reaction. This thought makes me angry and goes a long way to cooling my flames.
"Just testing the waters," he breathes into my ear.
I feel him kiss my ear so lightly that I almost wonder if he did. I'm hyper-aware of his touch on my back. I pull my head back enough to consider his eyes. They're glowing blue flames.
I don't need to feel his emotions to know his thoughts right now. His eyes are a dead giveaway. Knowing this is like a jolt of electricity through my veins, and my breath catches. The look in his eyes is fierce and possessive. It's moments like these that he can barely pass as human. There is an animalistic quality to the power emanating from him. It both scares and excites me.
I have no strength to stop him if he kisses me. And in the back of my mind is the concern that what I feel may not be real.
It's the shadow in the room that's leaving me in doubt. I don't know what else to do, so I turn my head away. He doesn't move for what seems like an eternity. "What are you afraid of?" he asks. I turn and look at him then.
"Everything! I don't know what feelings are mine. I don't know what's normal or what is a byproduct of your blood running through my body. I don't know how I feel about any of this, and I have no time to think about it. I don't know if we would even know each other if my life wasn't in danger and you didn't feel somewhat responsible.
"I'm scared of feeling something for you or anyone else right now. This isn't the way I date a guy. Hell, I don't even date much! I know very little about you. And sex is not casual for me, but it is for you. I want more than a sexual encounter. I want someone special that I can trust and hold on to. I know you've been here for me, but it feels temporary. I don't need a temporary moment for my memory book... and I don't have any idea what you want beyond that moment."
Wow. I guess I've been holding some stuff in too tightly. Adam's face never changes as the words pour from my mouth, but Adam does slowly release me as I finish.
His eyes are their normal brilliant blue, so obviously my rant didn't fan his flames, but managed to put them out.
He steps back from me and says simply, "I understand." He walks to my bedroom door before turning back to me.
"I would still like to take you to the theater tomorrow. Are you still inclined to go?"
I blink at him. Is that it? "Yes, I'd still like to go," I say, looking away.
I don't know why. Adam's response told me everything that I feared but needed to know. Why go through the motions?
For one, I want to wear that dress, damn it!
He nods his head and leaves me alone with the knowledge that he doesn't want what I want. And I was looking forward to spending a somewhat normal evening with him. I realize that I was excited to go with him.
I feel hurt—damaged almost. Why do I feel like we broke up or something? We aren't even dating one another. All we did was address the elephant in the room. Why do I feel so betrayed? Did I secretly hope he would profess his undying love for me? Argue? At least lie to me about his intentions?
I feel the need for a tub of ice cream and a bucket full of chocolate. I settle for sitting in my bed and eating half a pumpkin pie with loads of whipped topping.
It's one of those nights.