Tommy could consider himself a wallower. He wallowed in his own self-pity often, and it showed in the way he was almost constantly miserable. For someone who hated pity, he pitied himself an awful lot. Perhaps there was something to be unpacked there.
Not today.
Today was a 'blame society for all of your problems' kind of day, and that was exactly what Tommy was doing.
Laying under his bed.
Blaming society for all of his problems.
Realistically, when you considered the nature of Tommy's problems, most of them were caused by society. The rampant speciesism, the horrific state of the foster care system, among other things. Each and every one of his problems could be traced back to society, in some way.
Or maybe he was trying too hard to shift the blame, and he deserved everything he got.
He was getting remarkably good at psychoanalysing himself. Perhaps his 'psychoanalysis' was just him being honest.
A lot of uncertainties were running through his mind. That probably had some sort of deeper meaning that would tie into the cause of his abandonment issues and near-constant need for human contact later. Maybe.
For now, he was perfectly content to lie on the cold, hard ground, underneath a probably soft-ish bed, wallowing in his own self-pity. Had he mentioned how much he hated pity?
He groaned, flinging an arm over both of his eyes. Too many thoughts today. Not enough violent urges.
He was bored. So, so bored.
Maybe the people observing could read his mind, for just as he began begging for something to distract him, the door to his cell slid open.
"Hey Tommy." If he was growing fond of Eret, Tommy wouldn't admit it. He wouldn't have to, either, seeing as he definitely, most certainly, was not growing fond of them.
"Cafeteria?"
"Yup."
"Poggers."
The walk to the cafeteria was, surprisingly, less quiet. And it was not even by virtue of Tommy's extensive social skills.
"So," Eret started off, hand rubbing the back of their neck.
"Yeah?"
"I don't really know how to say this-"
"Spit it out then...?"
"I... I don't want this to be unpleasant, in a way? Not the whole 'being trapped in an underfunded government facility' stuff, I don't control that, I just-"
"Wait, you're underfunded? Thought the government would fund their speciesism a bit more, seeing as they love it so much," Tommy couldn't deny the fact that he was bitter. He'd been pursued his whole life, and for what? His prison to be underfunded. And their staff was bad at small talk.
Eret winced, "Yeah... underfunding a facility specifically designed to contain and test human subjects is not the most intelligent of plays to make. However, I don't want to be an asshole, you feel? I don't want to make your life even shittier, because being here? Shit. Y'know?"
It was... considerate. Tommy just stared at them, at a loss. Was there something he wasn't picking up on?
"Yeah... I dunno if you want something, or-"
"What? No, no, I'm just trying to- to keep out of your business, in a way? This place sucks and I don't want to contribute."
Tommy thinks he understands, so he cracks a grin and lightly punches Eret in the shoulder. Better to test the boundaries sooner, rather than later.
They seemed surprised, sure... but not the least bit annoyed, or even angry.
"Well, in that case, I guess we'll just have to be... acquaintances? Associates, at the most."
"Yeah, I guess so." Eret smiled softly.
Their conversation came to a close upon their arrival at the cafeteria. His life was getting quite routine, wasn't it? Go to cafeteria, feel bad for himself, talk to Eret, feel bad for himself, go to cafeteria, talk to Eret, reflect upon childhood trauma-
He desperately needed something different, or he was quite literally going to explode. That, or get extremely violent, extremely quickly.
Eret opened the door, and was soon caught up in conversation with another guard. Not Henry, maybe Paula?
It didn't matter.
He had somebody else to look for.
He scanned the room, ignoring every face in favour for the one he was looking for. He registered the three hybrids he'd spoken to, Wilbur, Phil and Techno. They seemed to be having a pleasant chat.
Tommy kept searching, before his eyes landed on his usual table. His and Tubbo's table. And who else would be sitting there but the bee hybrid himself!
Tommy rushed over, quickly plonking himself down across from Tubbo. He broke into a grin, his volume increasing tenfold compared to his previous conversation.
"Tubbo! It's been a while, eh? It's been so boring without you. It sucked, really," Tommy would've spilled every last detail concerning the last day (had it been a day? he wasn't sure), if it weren't for the melancholy expression that decorated the other boy's face.
"Tubbo?"
"Hm?"
"I- I heard you went for testing. From Eret. You good, big man?" He couldn't deny the fact that he was worried. The idea of testing made his stomach quiver, and he couldn't imagine what they'd do- had done to Tubbo.
"Er... yeah. Yeah, I went to testing. It's- I'm fine though. It's all good!" Tubbo waved a hand, cracking a grin that Tommy could not help but think was not entirely genuine.
In all honesty, Tommy didn't know what to do. He wasn't experienced with emotions, and he couldn't remember the last time he actually comforted somebody. He was out of his element. Not like being locked away in a government facility was his element, but that was besides the point.
"So," He decided it was time for Tubbo to try out his favourite coping mechanism. Ignoring your problems. "Did you get a thingy? A- what do you call 'em? 'Testing item'. Yeah, an item."
While it didn't entirely work, Tommy sensed a shift in the atmosphere. That was enough. As long as he was helping, somewhat.
"Oh, yeah! It was my first time, so they didn't give me anything too fancy, but I did get this cool bee figurine! It's super tiny and it's like, porcelain! I don't know if that's safe, but I'm counting my blessings before they hatch."
"I don't think that's the saying."
"I think it is."
"No- no it's not. I am a million percent sure that's not the saying."
The two fell into their usual playful bickering, and Tommy felt as though a weight was being lifted. It was still hanging around, but it was more distant. It may have been a temporary solution, but it worked. And who was he to look a gift horse in the basket, or however that saying went.
"Tubbo."
Tommy knew the perfect way to distract his friend from, well, anything.
"Tell me about bees, yeah?"
Tubbo laughed, "You're doing this out of pity, aren't you? You never ask me about bees."
"I, TommyInnit, have never felt pity. Ever. You have my word."
"Yeah, alright then. Did you know that bees have FIVE eyes? FIVE EYES, TOMMY!"
He did not know that. He wouldn't admit it, but he liked it when Tubbo ranted about the things he liked. He always knew cool facts, and he knew Tubbo liked it too. Even if he didn't always take everything in, it was nice to just listen.
Tubbo was in the midst of his rant about bees, when Tommy felt his tail begin to wag once more. It did that sometimes, mostly around Tubbo. Actually, since arriving at the stupid facility, it only did that around Tubbo. Probably because they were such an awesome Dynamic Duo.
Apparently, he was not the only one who noticed his tail's motion.
"Tommy..."
"Yeaaaaah?"
"Your tail's wagging! I think you like hearing me talk about bees."
"I absolutely do not. As a matter of fact, I hate bees with a burning passion. Yeah."
Tubbo feigned hurt. "Tommy! How could you? I'm a bee!"
"You're like, half bee. Which means I only hate half of you. Anyways, it's not like I'm the only one that does something stupid when they're happy. You buzz. Like a fuckin' bee." Tommy turned away, huffing, as he felt his face flush.
"That doesn't change that fact that you love my fun facts!"
"Hey, I like them. Let's not get too hasty here."
Tubbo stood, pointing at Tommy. "You admitted it!"
"What."
"You said it! You like my bee facts! You said it yourself!"
Alright, even he could admit that he fell into that one. It was the perfect trap.
"...Okay. Maybe I did fall for that one. You got me, I'll admit."
Tubbo smiled, genuinely smiled, and punched his shoulder lightly.
"Yeah, I totally did."
They had lighthearted conversation for the rest of the allotted time, and for once, Tommy felt at ease. As if he wasn't trapped. It was nice.
As the familiar announcement sounded, and as the two began to go their separate ways, Tommy spoke.
"Tubbo?"
"Mhm?"
"You... You don't have to tell me what happened in there. Just know that I'm here, yeah?"
"Of course, big man." Tubbo patted his shoulder, before walking off.
Tommy relished the contact, and scanned the room for Eret. Just when had he become so touch starved?
The two of them walked back to his room in companiable silence, and upon entering, he sat on the bed. He was finally settling in.
He wasn't sure if that was a good thing.
A/N: Woo! Another chapter down! You may have noticed the new cover art, which was done by the amazing EmptyArchery!! They are so cool and awesome. Thank you so much, it looks so amazing!!
Didn't want to write the second half because, as you know, I hate dialogue!! But I did it anyways because, y'know. Gotta do what you gotta do. When will I learn how to write an emotional sequence without turning to lighthearted comedy? Hopefully by the end of this fic if I want people to confront their emotional problems.
That was a unit of an author's note, but I just want to say that I love you guys!! There's been so much love and support for this fic, and your support and comments keep me going <3