CHAPTER 26
Lillie
I stood by my bedroom window and watched the world go by. The street was busy with people walking by. Kids were playing in the street, throwing and catching balls to each other. A mother unpacking her groceries from her car's trunk and an old man walking his Labrador on the sidewalk.
The sun was setting, shading the sky with a golden shimmer. Soon shades of violet and pink will blush the evening sky. This was my favorite time of day. The evenings were cool. I hugged myself with my woolen cardigan, feeling oddly cold inside. My mind felt heavy too.
I hadn't heard from Dimitri for many days now. I didn't know what might be happening. He probably had a good excuse, like the last time. But I wasn't sure. He was stuck in prison, after all. Many things could happen in a place like that. I shivered. I hoped he was okay and nothing bad had happened.
There was only one thing I could do to clear my head. I headed downstairs to the living room. I took out my violin from its case, tuned it and started to play.
My fingers dancing on the strings as my other hand dragged the bow, making the most beautiful music. I placed all my emotions into the melody, allowing the music to swallow it. It always made me feel good and lighter at the end, as if a heavy load was lifted off me. I played music for a while, losing myself in it.
After my practice, I popped open the recipe book I won at the charity raffle and decided the options to make, but I had no appetite today. Instead, I abandoned the cookbook and took a book to read in the living room. It was a romance, of course. Let's read everything I lacked in my life.
***
Later in the evening, I checked the mailbox across the street one more time. I checked earlier that day, but again, nothing. Maybe this time a letter from Dimitri had arrived. To my delight, there was one from him. I grabbed it and returned to my place, smiling all the way like a little schoolgirl. I really had to get a grip of myself. But I allowed myself to enjoy the moment.
I sat on my sofa, grabbed the envelope, and opened it. I read the letter with my legs crouched up against me.
Dearest Lillie,
You've probably been wondering why I haven't been writing. Well, I've got some good news for a change. I went to my parole hearing, and guess what? They approved me!
A part of me can't still believe it and a part of me feels shit scared. I so badly don't want to slip back into old habits.
But with your kind words, I know I'll be a changed man.
It's finally happening. I'll be a free man in a couple of days.
I really would like to meet you.
Yours,
Dimitri
OH. MY. GOSH!
Was the only words I could get through my head. I stared at his last sentence. 'he would like to meet me'. I didn't know what to think. He got his parole approved. I was happy for him. I knew he was preparing for it, but I didn't know it would happen this soon.
So many questions crossed my mind that I couldn't think straight. I thought about us meeting. But that was only in my dreams.
LITERALLY.
I didn't think it could happen in real life. What am I saying? It couldn't happen in real life!
Suddenly, I became scared. It was okay to pen pal, but seeing each other face to face in real life, that was something I couldn't bring myself to do. I knew that this day would come. But now that there might be a possibility, I panicked. I hated this. And I don't think I will ever be prepared.
Gosh, I wanted to run for the hills! I slapped myself. "Calm down Lillie! you're overreacting." I thought out loud.
My heart quickened its pace, and I had to breathe. "I'm working myself up for nothing," I whispered to myself.
The thought of meeting Dimitri made my legs feel weak. But I didn't have to meet him. That's not the way it goes. If he gets out, that just means our pen-pal-ship ends. That's all. The thought of that twisted my stomach in knots.
If I felt uneasy earlier, I felt worried now.