Tinatamad pa akong bumangon at namumugto pa ang aking mga mata nang marinig ang katok sa pintuan ng aking kwarto. It's been one week since she left the restaurant, crying. It's been a week since Sam and I broke up.
I tried to contact her. I even went to her house but she's always not there.
Sa loob din ng isang linggong iyon, hindi siya nananatili sa loob ng opisina. She must've really felt bad that she didn't want to see me anymore.
Someone knocked, and I heard our maid open the door to bring me some food.
"Ma'am, kain na po muna kayo." she said. I just nodded and she then left after she placed the tray on my table.
It has been like that until it became months. I tried to reach out to Samantha but she was literally nowhere to be found. Sumasama ako kanila Iñigo kahit pa alam ko na may galit sa akin si Cyreen. She is her bestfriend and she knows almost everything about her. Kaya naiintindihan ko kung saan nanggagaling ang galit nito.
"I had to see Rico just to talk to her, pero wala. I told her that you weren't coming but she said she's busy." Iñigo said.
I asked him a favor even if I know that he is disappointed with my actions and decisions. I tried to reach out to her but she deactivated all her socials. Maging sila Iñigo iniiwasan niya. She even changed her number. Damn. Ganon ba talaga kalaki ang galit niya sa akin? She literally shut her door for everyone because of me.
I really regret everything I did. I hated myself for being so goddamn self-centered.
A few months after I graduated, I started to prepare for the board exam. Luckily I passed when I took it on my first try.
I was happy and overwhelmed for all the support and love that my families and friends gave me. But there's still something missing inside of me. Alam kong mas masaya sana ako kung kasama ko siya ngayon.
There grew a lump on my throat when only my parents, and Iñigo, were waiting for me beyond the arch. Hindi ko na lamang ipinahalata iyon sa kanila dahil ayokong masira ang moment. But deep inside, I really wished she was there.
Eventually, I learned how to love her from afar. Nakikita ko na siya ulit tuwing pumapasok siya sa opisina. I seemed like a fucking stalker. But I couldn't care much about it. Ang mahalaga sa akin ay nakikita ko siya. Kahit hanggang tingin man lang mahagkan ko siya.
She looked more mature and more corporate as time went by. I didn't know if she has already moved on from me. But one time, I saw her walking with a woman and they looked like they were very close. I took that as a sign that she might be moving on from me already.
I found it unfair. I hated her for that. Bakit ang bilis niya naman maka-move on? Halos isang taon pa lang ang lumipas! Habang ako dito parang tanga na hanap hanap pa rin siya. But then, I can't blame her. Kasalanan ko naman kung bakit kami naghiwalay.
Nung sumunod na taon ay naging busy ako sa trabaho. I worked as an accountant in an accounting firm. I just wanted to get some experience with my degree. And eventually, I had to work under our company. After our second year of break-up, I heard Sam was getting prepared for her upcoming board exam since she finished her apprenticeship already. I was far more proud when I heard that from Iñigo and I was so confident that she'd pass the boards.
True enough, she did. And she did not just pass the boards, she got in the top 10 list of board passers. That woman is really a natural born tigress!
I became busier with BFI and had to attend international seminars and meetings, with foreign investors and clients. There was a time where I had to stay in Australia for almost three months for some business reason. I enjoyed my stay but I couldn't stay away with my family for long so I went home as soon as my quest there had finished.
Nagsisigawan ang mga magulang ko nang makauwi ako isang araw, galing sa trabaho. I didn't know the reason behind. The only thing I know was that mom left that day, bringing two suitcases with her and a small bag.
"Mom. Saan ka po pupunta?" I asked her.
She went near me and hugged me tight.
"I'll stay with your tita Pia in US for a while, anak. You can visit me there if you want." She said. Her eyes were pooling with tears.
"Mom... Ano pong nangyari?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko rito.
My mom is a very strong woman. Alam kong hindi siya basta basta sumusuko. Kaya kung bakit kailangan niya pang tumakbo sa kapatid niya sa US, ay isang malaking tanong sa akin.
"I-I... Love you..." Nanginginig ang mga labing sinabi nito sa akin.
She kissed me on the cheek and totally left that night. She left me dumbfounded. Gulong-gulo ang isip ko at hindi ko rin alam kung anong gagawin. I tried asking dad personally but he would only divert the topic.
Weeks passed by at mas lalo lang gumugulo ang nangyayari sa aming pamilya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang naging ganito ang lahat. Our family was known to be perfect. Ideal. Hindi ko maisip kung bakit bigla na lang naging ganito.
Iñigo had no idea as well. Ang alam lang namin ay may problema sa BFI na nakakaapekto sa mga pamilya namin ngayon. Dahil doon, kumuha si Austin ng mag-iimbestiga kung ano nga ba ang nangyayari sa BFI.
Investigation shows that BFI has lost almost half of its assets because my father has been spending too much. I was wondering kung saan niya dinadala ang mga pera dahil wala naman siyang binibiling mga gamit na maaaring magpalubog sa kumpanya ng ganoon. Or atleast something that is tangible in our eyes. But we later on found out that he was addicted to gambling.
Noong una ay barya lang ang itinataya hanggang sa lumaki na ng lumaki at hindi niya na kayang kontrolin ang sarili. Dumami rin ang pinagkakautangan nito kaya mas lalong nawala na siya sa tamang landas.
I brought that problem in silence for months. Hindi ko alam kung paano kukumprontahin si dad. As much as I know that he is wrong, ayokong dagdagan pa ang nararamdaman niyang bigat.
Until I heard him and lolo yelling. Nasa home office sila noon. Didiretso sana ako sa kwarto ko nang biglang marinig ang pinag-uusapan nila.
"Paano mo ngayon susolusyunan ito, Rodney?! Alam mo kung gaano kalaki ang sakripisyo namin para sa kumpanyang ito tapos palulubugin mo lang?!" Sigaw ni lolo kay dad. Naestatwa ako nang marinig ang isang malakas na kalabog mula sa loob.
"Ginagawan ko naman ho ng p-paraan, pa." Dad countered.
"Paraan? Anong paraan mo? Sa tingin mo ba may tiwala pa ako sa'yo matapos mo kaming ibaon sa kahihiyan?!" Lolo's anger scared me that I could even imagine him killing my father.
True enough, naabutan ko si lolo na nakakapit sa kwelyo ni dad habang nakasandal ang huli sa lamesa ng home office. Nagkalat ang mga papel na nahulog mula sa lamesa.
"Lo!" Agad akong dumalo sa pagitan nilang dalawa para awatin sila.
"Dad, Lolo. Ano pong nangyayari?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko sa dalawa.
"Hindi na mabibilang ang taon ng BFI sa mga daliri mo Sydney. Dahil 'yang magaling mong ama, isinugal ang halos kalahati ng shares ng kumpanya!" Napayuko na lamang ako sa narinig. Alam ko na iyon pero iba pa rin na narinig ko mismo kay lolo.
"At ngayon mo sabihin sa anak mo kung ano ang naiisip mong paraan, Rodney!"
Dad looked at me guiltily. Hindi siya makapagsalita. Waring nahihiya sa solusyon na naiisip niya.
"Anak ka ng puta, magsalita ka!" Akmang susuntukin ulit ni Lolo si dad kaya naman niyakap ko ang daddy para hindi siya masaktan.
"Lo!" I closed my eyes, waiting for pain to come.
That's how much I loved him. I was ready to take punches for him.
"W-we're putting up with Tan Industries.. Y-you will have t-to marry Richard, Sydney." Natulala ako sa tinuran ni dad.
Is this some kind of a joke? Ito ang parehong sitwasyon ni Samantha kaya kami naghiwalay. She was favored to marry someone to save a company.
Ano 'to, Season 2? Another storyline of a fallen company that would put up with another company to save their name? Hindi ba pwedeng ibang plot naman? Paulit-ulit na... Nakakasawa na...
I loathed my father even more after knowing that his solution was to transfer his agony to his child. Nalaman ko rin kay Richard na maging siya ay nagulat sa nangyari. He just said that 2 years ago, our parents were talking about fixing our marriage. Hinintay lamang na maipasa ang titulo kay Richard bilang CEO ng Tan Industries bago kami ipagkaisa.
Richard is my childhood bestfriend. Dahil nga affiliated sa politics at business ang pamilya namin, naging matalik na magkaibigan ang mga magulang namin. We went to the same school from elementary until highschool.
He confessed romantic affection to me when we were in second year highschool. He admitted that he likes me. But I was in a relationship with his teammate back then so I rejected him. And after all, I could only see him as a brother. Hindi niya naman minasama ang sinabi ko at nanatili kaming bestfriends. Nothing changed between us. Mas lalo lang siyang naging mapang-asar.
Two years ago was when I broke up with Sam. Dad had to make sure that no one was a hindrance to his plans so he used Sam's situation to his advantage. I just can't imagine how manipulative he was. If there's an even worse word than loathe, that is how I'll describe my hatred towards my father. I hated him to the core.
I left and went to US to go home to mom. I somehow felt lighter when I left. Dad was problematic and toxic. He became someone we didn't expect he'd become.
Nalaman ni mom na bukod sa pagsusugal ni dad ay nagkaroon din si dad ng affair sa ibang babae, that is why she left. And that was really unfair of him because my mom stood by him despite all his mistakes, but all he did was break her heart.
I didn't have plans on coming back. Isinusuka ko na ang pagiging Buenavidez na anak ng daddy ko. But my cousin died fighting for the company. And his last wish was for us to continue fighting for BFI.
Oliver, my cousin, was the former vice president of BFI. We grew up close to each other along with our four other cousins. Magkakapatid ang mga magulang namin. Si Tito Ramon, si Dad, and Tito Romulo.
Iñigo, son of tito Ramon, has one brother, si Simon. Si Oliver naman, has two brothers namely, Austin and Zachary.
Oliver had leukemia. He's like a brother to me kaya halos ikamatay ko rin ang pagkawala niya. Siya ang nangumbinsi sa akin umuwi para ituloy ang laban ng BFI, not for us, but for the staffs and the employees.
I really admired his maturity and passion. Hanggang sa huling hininga niya, BFI pa rin ang iniisip niya. I prayed to have his dedication and courage. And everytime I check our picture in my wallet, I can feel him around saying that I was doing a great job.
"What the hell? Are you kidding? Si Rico pa ang pinagseselosan mo eh ex ni Cyreen 'yon!" Ani Iñigo at humagalpak sa tawa.
When I heard Sam talking to Rico on the phone, I thought it was finally time to accept that she moved on with her life. I reminded myself that I went home to the Philippines to fix BFI. My cousins were busy for the upcoming election kaya kami ni Iñigo at ni Austin ang namahala sa mga negosyo ng pamilya.
Tinanggap ko na sa sarili ko na iba na ang buhay ko at ang buhay ni Sam. Masaya na siya sa buhay niya. At sa parteng iyon ako naiinggit sa kanya dahil matapos ang ilang taon, miserable pa rin ako. But then destiny always find its way to us. And it kept on pushing us together.
I had to go to her office because I was very guilty that she had a cut because I was shocked to see her in the workshop nang ibalik niya ang wallet ko.
Inisip ko kung sakaling chineck niya ba ang wallet ko. I kept her letter, and her picture, behind my picture with Oliver. I hope she didn't dahil hindi ko alam ang ipapaliwanag ko sa kanya kung sakaling ganoon nga.
Later on, I realized that I wasn't just going to her office just because I was guilty... But because I also want to see her.
The moment I saw her on site, in a simple white longsleeves and jeans, while she was scolding the two engineers, I knew I still had the same admiration for her.
But why the hell is this Engr. Austria always clinging onto her? Are they together? Bakit masyado silang close? Why is she sleeping in Sam's unit?
She even made Sam drink wine at the party! E halos umiyak na ako noon mapilit lang siya na tumikim but she would always reject me! What is so special about her?
"Inaway mo si Sam?" Tanong sa akin ni Iñigo nang gabing tumawag ako sa kanya dahil nag-away kami ni Samantha.
The engineer has a boyfriend pala! Bakit ba kasi sila masyadong close sa isa't isa! Akala ko tuloy may gusto sa kanya 'yon.
"Hindi." I half-guiltily said.
Humalakhak ito. "You should stop being jealous, Sydney. You'd only push her away even more. You should be gentle, you know."
That's what I did. Sinuyo ko siya kinabukasan. But she was like avoiding me, or maybe she's just playing hard to get. I don't know, really. She was busy and I understand that. I was willing to wait for a few more hours just to have dinner with her but she wasn't picking up her phone. Pupuntahan ko na sana siya sa opisina niya because she might still be there but she wasn't. She was down here, with Carrie. Drinking.
We fought again that night. We cried again. And I was a bit happy and hopeful that she allowed me to sleep with her.
Hindi ako umuuwi sa bahay dahil ayokong makita si Dad. Ayoko siyang marinig at makasama. Kahit anino niya kinamumuhian ko. I stay in Iñigo's place whenever I'm in Manila, and I stay in the Hotel whenever I'm in Cebu. I was thinking of buying my own condo, but then I thought I wouldn't stay for long. Ayokong manatili sa Pilipinas because I don't want to feel my father's presence.
But Samantha gave me reasons to stay.
She made me realize that I still love her. That I still want to spend my life with her. That I still want to wake up every morning beside her. That I still want to be loved by her.
When tito Samuel, Samantha's father, died. A portion of me was broken too. I felt how he loved his children. And I felt how he loved me as Sam's girlfriend.
"Take care of my daughter.." Tito Samuel said when he sent us to the airport. "'Wag mo siyang pababayaan. Please be there for her."
I smiled at him genuinely. "Don't worry, tito. I'll never leave her."
I promised her father that I will never leave her. But then for the sake of the company, I had to let her go again.
Samantha is very understanding and very sacrificial. If people only knew how she'd sacrifice her own happiness just to save other people.
She begged me to choose the company instead of choosing her dahil maraming tao ang mawawalan ng trabaho kapag bumagsak ang BFI. I can't imagine how deep of an understanding she has. The level of maturity is beyond my reach. She reminded me of someone who always thinks of other people before himself. She reminded me of Oliver.
Mas lalo lang lumala ang galit ko kay Dad nang maghiwalay kami ni Sam. Sobra ang sama ng loob ko sa nangyari. With her, life was easy. Pero nang mawala siya sa akin ulit, it became darker than it ever was.
Dad didn't stop trying to please me. He tries to catch my heart again but I just can't give it to him anymore.
"What?" Bungad ko kay dad nang sagutin ko ang tawag nito isang beses.
"Anak, uuwi ka ba mamaya?" Marahang tanong nito sa akin.
"No, why?" Malamig kong sagot rito.
"W-wala naman... I just want to ask if you can come for my b-birthday..." Nahihiyang sabi nito.
May kung anong kumirot sa puso ko. Nakalimutan kong birthday nga pala niya ngayon. Fuck.
I massaged my temple and closed my eyes. Inuusig ako ng konsensya ko subalit hindi ko pa rin kayang kalimutan lahat ng ginawa niya. Na hanggang ngayon pinagbabayaran ko pa rin.
"I'll drop by." I said.
"T-talaga? Sige anak, hihintayin kita rito." Masayang tugon nito.
Pagkauwi ko sa mansion mula sa trabaho ay agad akong sinalubong ni Dad ng isang yakap. I didn't hug him back. Instead, I handed him my gift and greeted him a simple happy birthday.
I walked past him as soon as he parted from me. Hindi ko na nakita ang reaksyon niya nang ibigay ko ang regalo niya.
Naupo ako sa upuan, isang pagitang silya mula sa kanya.
"I liked it." Masayang sabi niya habang pinagmamasdan ang relo na nasa box.
"John chose it." I nonchalantly said.
"Well, we have the same taste afterall." Aniya na halatang pinahahaba lamang ang pag-uusap naming dalawa.
Noon, sa hapag ko ikinukwento sa kanila ni mom ang lahat. But eversince mom left, I couldn't even exchange conversations with my father. It's as if I cannot see him as my father anymore. All I can see is the manipulative, cheating, homewrecker asshole that he is.
"What do you want to have first, anak?" He asked and motioned all the foods in front of me.
I sighed out my anger and ignored him. Halatang napahiya siya sa ginawa ko pero hindi niya ito ipinakita sa akin.
"Try that one, Syd, favorite mo yan noon." Anito at itinuro ang sushi sa harap ko.
"I don't want that." Iyon na nga dapat ang kukunin ko pero dahil inalok niya sa akin ay hindi ko na kinuha.
I don't want him to think that I am warmed by his thoughtfulness. Because all I have for him is anger with his immaturity and impetuousness.
"Ah.. How about this?" He pointed at the pasta.
I only ignored him again.
"Or this one-"
I dropped my utensils causing it to clash against the plates.
"Why are you doing this? Hindi ka ba naaawa sa sarili mo, Dad? Nagmumukha ka nang tanga." Mahina ang pagkakasabi ko pero bakas sa bawat bigkas ang bigat ng bawat salita.
Nagulat, nanlumo, nanghina. That's what I saw from him. I felt guilty for talking to him that way. But just when you are mad and hurt, sometimes, all you want to do is to hurt the one who hurt you, too.
Tumayo si dad at unti-unting lumapit sa akin. He pulled the chair beside me and held my hand.
"I couldn't understand you then... When you loved her as if she was the only best thing in this world. Your mom told me how hurt you were when you broke up. Sabi mo sa mommy mo, she is a very great woman." His eyes were full of regret and sincerity but he only looked at my hand.
"I didn't understand you then... But you know what she said to me before leaving for Spain?" He looked at me. "Sabi niya.. She will find it in her heart to forgive you, Tito."
My eyes started pooling as my father said those words.
"I'm sure, one day, she will realize that her love for you is bigger than anything else." He said in teary eyes.
"I then understood what you meant.. She's all the good things I could ever describe. That made me understand how terrible you felt when I tore you apart. That made me understand why you hated me so much." He smiled in between his tears.
"And I want to make things right, anak. Sabi ni Sam, 'wag daw akong mapagod kakahingi ng tawad sa'yo. At tama siya. Kaya kahit mukha na akong tanga gaya ng sabi mo... Patuloy kong hihingiin ang patawad mo. Hindi man ngayon, but I know, one day... You'll find it in your heart to forgive me.."
Tikom ang bibig ko habang patuloy na umaagos ang luha sa aking mukha.
What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Why is she so kind? Tangina, nung nagpaulan ata ang diyos ng kagandahan gising pa siya kasi gumagawa siya ng plates. Nasalo niya tuloy lahat. Maganda tuloy ang lahat sa kanya. Maging panlabas o panloob.
Eventually, my father found his way back to my heart. Hindi pa man kami lubusang okay, but a progress is better than nothing. And I can say that we are now better than we used to be. Funny how she isn't here anymore but she's still the reason behind our progress.
The wedding did not push through. Iñigo took responsibility for the merging of the company. He agreed to marry Richard's sister. Aerine Tan.
Richard and I remained good friends. We sometimes hangout with my nephew, Jairus, Austin's son. Madalas kaming mapagkamalang pamilya dahil kamukha ko raw si Jai. I would only smile at them because to be called the mother of this pretty boy is very heartwarming.
"'Di ba niya pwede irebook yung flight niya? Sa isang araw na siyang bumalik ng Espanya kamo." Ani Iñigo na hindi ata namalayang pumasok ako sa opisina niya.
Nagpantig ang tenga ko nang mabanggit ang Espanya. Rebook? Bakit? Umuwi ba si Sam?
"Sabihan mo na kasi, Cy! Rebook niya na! May lakad kami ni Aerine bukas, e." Kumunot naman lalo ang noo ko.
May iba ba silang kaibigan na papunta ng Espanya?
"Okay, I'll DM her. Ang arte amp. Sige na, bye." Iiling-iling nitong binaba ang telepono.
"Hey," Bati nito sa akin nang mapansing nasa harap pala niya ako. Agad niyang binalingan ang mga papel sa harap niya kaya nawala rin sa akin ang atensyon niya.
"May pupuntang Espanya?" I asked innocently.
"Yeah, babalik na kasi si Sam bukas. Sabi ko irebook yung flight. Uuwi pa kasi ako sa Cebu mamaya dahil may lakad kami ni Aerine bukas." Tuloy-tuloy niyang sabi sa akin na parang wala lang dahil nagmamadali siya sa pagpirma ng mga papel sa lamesa niya.
"Sam?" I repeated the name. Baka ibang Sam?
Kunot noong tumingin ito sa akin at tumango. "Si Samantha."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Umuwi si Samantha?! Bakit hindi ko alam?!
"What?!" Gulat na napatingin sa akin si Iñigo. Nagkamali pa ito sa sinusulat niya dahil sa biglaang pagsigaw ko. "She's here? Umuwi siya?!"
"Yeah. Don't you have IG or something?" He asked with a creased forehead.
Well.. I have.. But I unfollowed her kasi halos ilang buwan pa lang mula nung umalis siya ay nagstory siya na may kasama siyang lalake.. I couldn't really remember his name. It starts with C as far as I can remember. Charles? Chris? I don't know.
"Umuwi na ba talaga?" Paninigurado ko kay Iñigo.
"Oo.. Pero babalik pa sa Espanya. Ikinasal lang yung kuya niya kanina kaya umuwi." Sabi naman nito.
I hastily stood up. "Do you know where she's staying?" I asked my cousin.
"Sa condo niya ata. Sa Makati ba 'yun?" Hindi siguradong sagot sa akin ng pinsan ko.
I nodded and ran away. "Ok, thanks."
I drove off to Makati and went to her condo. I was very nervous. I didn't know why I reacted that way. I was supposed to be mad. Hindi man lang siya nagpaalam sa akin bago siya umalis. Tapos nakikipag-date pa siya agad sa iba after we broke up. Hindi niya ba alam yung three-month rule?
Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ako aligaga na makita siya. Mamaya ko na aalamin kung bakit. Ang mahalaga sa akin sa ngayon ay ang mapuntahan at makausap siya.
I pressed the buzzer twice but no one answered so I typed the password on her door. Fortunately, she still has the same password.
I opened the door and went inside. Patay na ang ilaw sa hallway pero bukas pa ang sa kusina. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papasok at pinagmasdan ang buong unit. Habang papasok ay ako ng tuluyan ay siya namang pagbalik ng mga alaala naming dalawa dito. All the good memories. All the reasons why I loved her even more. Nothing changed. Na-iba lang ng konti ang arrangement but it still is the same.
Bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ni Sam kaya napalingon ako roon. Totoo nga. Nandito nga siya. I thought I saw an angel because she looked very, very, miraculously beautiful.
She was shocked to see me. Napaatras ito ng bahagya at hindi makapagsalita.
She just came from the bath. Her white robe told me so. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung gumanda ba talaga siya ng husto o dahil lang 'yon sa bagong ligo siya.
"W-what are you doing here? How did you get in?" Tanong niya nang matauhan siya. Unti-unti naman itong lumapit sa akin.
"I know your password." I simply replied.
She licked her lower lip before nodding. "What brought you here? May kailangan ka?" Kaswal niyang tanong.
Habang papalapit ito ay mas lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Subalit gayunpaman ay naisip ko na may kasalanan pa pala siya sa akin. Kaya mas pinili kong awayin siya.
"You didn't even bother to say goodbye, huh?" I angrily told her.
"What?" Naguguluhan nitong tanong sa akin.
"You left without saying goodbye, Ms. Lopez." I spat at her.
She looked away guiltily. "I-I'm sorry.." She said without looking at me.
"Sorry? After almost two years saka mo lang naisip mag-sorry? Gaano ba kahirap magpaalam? Ano, mas madali ba mag-plates kesa magpaalam ng maayos? You didn't even bother to give me a proper closure?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong. She was trying to butt in but I kept on speaking.
"Sydney, pwede ba makinig ka muna?" Sabi nito sa akin at humakbang palapit.
Her fresh scent enveloped my nose. Lumayo ako sa kanya hindi dahil galit ako kundi dahil nawawala na yung inis na nararamdaman ko. I crossed my arms to my chest.
"No, I get it. You don't know how to say goodbye properly. Siguro kasi hindi naman talaga ako importante sayo." I said keeping my anger at its peak even when all of my the reasons of why I was mad suddenly puffed.
"Hey, that's not true!" Humakbang ito palapit subalit lumayo lang akong muli.
She sighed. "I'm really sorry, Sydney. I was afraid I'd change my mind if I see you." She explained softly to me. "And to be honest, seeing you happy right now makes me the happiest, too. Hindi ko pinagsisisihan na pinakawalan kita. You grew and you conquered... I'm very proud of you." She smiled at me after speaking with sincerity.
And that was it. The walls I built since she left, shattered. Knowing that she is proud of me makes everything worth it.
She touched my arm and I faced her. "If that was why you wanted to see me, I sincerely apologize. You're right, you deserve a proper closure. And I'm very, very, honestly sorry."
Her eyes spoke sincerity. If the eye is the window of the soul, I'd like to get through that passage to embrace her genuinity. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa labi niya. I bit my lower lip as I examined her thin lips, trying so hard to resist the temptation of kissing her.
"I guess you have to go home now. Your son's waiting for you." Nanlumbay ang ngiti sa labi niya nang sabihin niya ang huling pangungusap.
Son? Anak? Bakit?
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked with furrowed brows.
"I saw you the other day with Richard. Sa mall, habang tumitingin kami ni Cy ng regalo para kay kuya. You were with a child. Your son, I assume." Kwento niya.
"You saw me at the mall?" Gulat kong sabi.
She saw us?
"Yeah-"
"And you didn't approach me?" Inis kong tanong rito.
"W-well.. You were with your husband.." Nahihiyang anito.
I scoffed. Asawa? Hindi man lang ba siya nakikibalita sa mga kaibigan niya? Hindi man lang ba niya ako itinatanong kay Iñigo? Hindi niya ako kinakamusta? Kahit tanong kung ano nang balita sa akin, wala? Nakakahurt na ah!
"You thought Richard was my husband?" I raised a brow at her.
"H-huh? Bakit? H-hindi ba?" Nag-aalinlangan niyang tanong pabalik.
"Of course not!" Singhal ko rito.
"E kaninong anak 'yung buhat niya?" She asked with curious eyes.
"Kay Austin. Sa pinsan ko." I answered.
She looked away and pushed her tongue at the edge of her lips because of the awkwardness she brought to herself.
"I-I didn't know... I'm sorry.." She said.
Napakamot ito sa batok niya at tumalikod sa akin. She walked towards the kitchen to get water.
"H-hindi ka pa ba uuwi?" Tanong nito sa akin habang nagsasalin ng tubig sa baso, para mabasag ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin.
"Excited kang paalisin ako? Bakit, may magagalit ba sa'yo?" Diretsong tanong ko sa kanya.
Napakurap-kurap siya sa tanong ko. "W-wala. Sinong magagalit?" Takang tanong nito bago uminom ng tubig.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Boyfriend mo?"
Halos maibuga niya yung tubig na iniinom niya sa sinabi ko. She ran towards the sink and coughed hard. Mukhang hindi niya na anticipate yung sinabi ko. I walked towards her and rubbed her back. I looked at her with concerned eyes.
"Sinong nagsabi sa'yong may boyfriend ako?" Tanong niya sa akin nang humupa na ang pag-ubo niya.
"So meron nga?" Kunot-noo kong tanong rito.
She rolled her eyes. "Wala. I'm single."
Halos magtatatalon ang puso ko sa tuwa. She's single! Did I hear it right? She is single!
I bit the insides of my cheek to stifle a smile.
"Ikaw? Do you have someone?" She asked.
I sighed and only nodded at her. She stopped. Pain was very visible through her eyes. She walked past me with the glass on her one hand.
"Girlfriend?" She asked without looking at me.
"Yup." Sagot ko habang hinuhugasan niya ang basong ginamit niya.
"What is she like?" She asked me the same question she asked me before.
And I answered her with the same reply.
"Mabait. Mapagmahal. Maganda." I walked beside her as I continued to describe the woman I love the most. "Mas maganda na nga lang ngayon, galing kasi ng Espanya, e."
Napatigil ito sa ginagawa niya. Iisang baso lang naman yung hinuhugasan niya pero parang tatlong beses niyang sinabunan at binanlawan. Hindi ko tuloy maintindihan kung nakikita niya ba yung mga bacteria dahil parang 99.9% germ free na yung baso. Mga trip din nito minsan e.
"You're wasting water." I stated and went near her to close the faucet.
Binanlawan naman nito ang baso nang matauhan at pinatuyo ang kamay gamit ang robe niya.
She walked away from me again and went towards to living area. Halatang iniiwasan ako. Sinundan ko siyang muli pero nang maramdaman niya akong nakasunod ay agad itong umikot para lumakad palayo. Paalis na sana siya nang hawakan ko ang braso niya.
"Dito ka nga lang. Alis ka ng alis." Inis kong sabi rito. "Nahihilo na ako."
"S-sandali lang, magbibihis lang ako." Naiilang niyang sabi sa akin.
Hindi ko siya pinansin at hinila siya paupo sa sofa.
"Mamaya na. Mag-usap muna tayo. Mas importante yon. Kahit nga wala kang damit ngayon mas pipiliin kong kausapin ka." Seryosong sabi ko sa kanya.
Malakas na hampas ang natamo ko sa hita dahil sa sinabi ko. "Aw!" Reklamo ko.
"Ang bastos mo!" Namumulang sabi nito sa akin.
"Totoo nga! We can talk even when you're naked." Pang-aasar ko pa lalo dito.
Malay mo naman pumayag. Sino ba ako para tumanggi?
"Sydney Tiana kung mamanyakin mo lang din ako, umuwi ka na. Wala kang maaasahan sa akin." Seryosong sabi nito sa akin.
The next thing I know, my clothes were everywhere on the floor and she was on top of me kissing me hardly like she haven't kissed me before.
May maaasahan naman pala.
We made love in her sofa and she fell asleep. She seemed fine with her position but I wasn't, so I stole her robe and carried her to her room. Mamaya abutan pa kami ni Sabbie doon. Nakakahiya.
The only thing left to do was to cuddle her for the rest of the night but when she woke up after two hours of sleep, I felt wet kisses on my neck and her hands roamed around my body. And from there, we made love again.
I didn't know what life Manila was going to give me. I was here because of a different reason. But just when we think we are lost in the middle of nowhere, God provides someone to help us get through the dark. And with my journey around España, He gave me Samantha. The best tour guide, the best partner, for this wonderful expedition.
We've been forced to a different path several times but we always find our way back to each other. Maybe the old saying was true. There's no place like home. And she is my home. I could never be to a more safer place than beside her.