We're all broken.
That's how the
light gets in.
~Ernest Hemingway
Chapter 19.
No matter how much I prepped myself to keep my composure and not allow my nerves to take over, I do precisely that.
During the Alpha's conversation with his pack member who brought us here, my leg bounces from where I'm sitting. My attempts at keeping it still are failing miserably.
"If you don't feel ready, I can take over," Julian proposes.
I shake my head. "I'm staying," I state, my voice firm.
"Then you should stop bouncing your leg. It shows you're nervous."
"That wasn't nice. That's my nerves. I can't help it. I expected you to be more understanding, but I guess not." I turn my face the other way, avoiding him.
His big, veiny hands engulf my smaller ones, but I don't waver and still look away from him.
"I'm sorry for being an asshole. It's not that I don't like it, because trust me, I do. I find nervous Sophia adorable, but others identify it as a weakness. I was merely trying to protect you from the Alpha, the one we're meeting. He feeds on people's uneasiness to manipulate their thoughts and actions."
I face him and look into his eyes for any sign of deception, but I come up empty-handed.
"It's alright. I'll forgive you, but voice your thoughts better so that I can understand and there won't be a misunderstanding. Also-" I make a fist with my right hand and bring it closer to Julian's face. "Next time you say something like that, I'll punch you. I'm not joking."
He laughs, "My cute little boxer."
The screeching sound of a chair interrupts our little banter, and there he is, the Alpha, sitting opposite us.
"I had some unfinished business to tend to. I apologize it took me longer," He says, interlocking his fingers and placing them on the wooden desk. "You're here for Shelia and Ashton Rodgers, correct?"
Wait, what? "No," I say, "We're here for Lauren and Luke Smith."
"We don't have anyone by those names," he replies.
What in the world is going on? We showed him a picture before coming here and assumed they knew them when we came. Has there been a mix-up?
"Show him a picture. You packed one with you, remember?"
Astra reminds me of something I had forgotten.
When I left my pack, I took a couple of my parents' pictures with me. I thought it was the only thing I had left of them. But after the truth came out, I couldn't bring myself to burn or throw them away. It just felt like I would be disrespecting them. My parents had always treated me well and made me feel included, despite everything that had happened. Plus, I had believed that they were dead. So, I kept the pictures hidden in a cabinet. When we planned the trip, I had a feeling that I should take them with me, and I'm glad I did.
I take out a picture from my bag and slide it across the table.
"These are the people we're looking for. Do you recognize them?"
The Alpha picks it up and examines it closer. He clicks his tongue and speaks. "These are indeed Shelia and Ashton Smith that I mentioned earlier."
Is it possible they changed their names? I mustn't argue about their names. I should find out as much as I can about them instead.
Julian reads my mind and questions, "Can you tell us more about them?"
The Alpha nods. "Their names are Sheila and Ashton Smith. At least, these are the names they gave us when we found them battered near our borders a couple of years ago. According to them, someone ambushed them during their daily run, and they lived all these years in captivity until they escaped when we found them."
"Did they mention the pack they came from?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "They claimed they didn't remember anything after waking up chained in a basement. The doctor backed their claims, stating they had amnesia due to the trauma they had experienced."
Julian and I exchange a knowing look. Both of us don't believe it one bit.
If my suspicions are correct, not returning means they're guilty of something, but I don't know what.
"May I ask why you're interested in them?" the Alpha asks.
"They're my friend's relatives, and their family has been searching for them," I lie.
Should I get scared that lies come out easier now? Thankfully, he buys it. "If that's the case, do you want to speak to them?" He offers.
"Maybe some other time. We don't want to trigger anything, and we have to get back on the road," I say, dusting my pants and standing up.
Julian follows my lead. "Thank you for your time. I'll return the favor," he promises, and we shake hands before making our way out.
Julian turns to me as we exit the packhouse, "Are you a hundred percent sure you don't want to see them?" he asks, his eyes searching mine. "You have time to change your mind."
I hesitate, knowing deep down that it's pointless to try to change anything at this point. "Is there any point? They have carefully created this narrative and facade that they won't stray away from. They're smart people. They know what they're doing."
Julian nods in understanding and places a comforting hand on my lower back. We walk in silence, but my mind is racing with thoughts. Disappointment is rapidly taking over as I realize that the outcome of this encounter is not what I had hoped for.
I had no desire to see Lauren and Luke, let alone have a conversation, but I had expected more than a pathetic excuse. This encounter has left me feeling hollow and unsatisfied, and I know I can't go through this again.
As we walk, I decide to return to the palace and pretend this day never happened. Life will resume, but it's better to remember this day as a bitter memory.
The sun blazes down on me as I step out of the building, and I squint my eyes from the sudden brightness. As my eyes adjust, I see her. Lauren Smith, the person I called "mum" for eighteen years. My heart races, and I freeze in my tracks. Julian, who has already walked a few steps ahead of me, turns around to see why I'm not following him. When his eyes land on Lauren, he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him, his shoulders tensing up.
He whispers in my ear, "That's Lauren Smith." It sounds more like a question seeking confirmation than a statement.
I nod, my eyes locked with Lauren's. She doesn't move, but her gaze never leaves mine. I feel a lump forming in my throat. I whisper to Julian, "Can we leave?"
He nods and holds my hand tightly. We walk past Lauren, and I avoid looking at her, but I can feel her eyes on me. When we finally leave their territory and reach the car, I collapse onto the ground, gasping for air. Julian rubs my back and whispers sweet nothings in my ear, trying to calm me down.
After what feels like an eternity, I manage to catch my breath. "How do you feel?" Julian asks me.
"Like I want to run away," I reply honestly.
"Let's do it then," Julian suggests impulsively. "Let's take a couple of days off to spend them just the two of us."
I hesitate. "We can't. They're expecting us back at the palace."
"Not for a few more days," he persists. "You mentioned you would be away for almost a week, and I didn't say anything."
I look at him, unsure. Can we just run away like this? But then, I decide to take a chance. "Okay, let's do it."
"Get in the car then," Julian says with a smile.
I'm about to get into my car when a small voice calls out my name. I see a boy, maybe eight years old, running towards me. Out of breath, he asks, "Are you Ava?"
I'm taken aback by his question but decide to play along,
"Depends on who's asking," I reply with a smile.
Without another word, he shoves a folded piece of paper into my hands and swiftly sprints away. I look down at the paper and see my name written in familiar handwriting. It's a note from Lauren Smith.
Edited: 20/04/2024
Words: 1451