Unedited.
Aarna's pov:
"Nothing happened to her. Calm down. She is fine. Everything is fine. She and her baby, both are fine." I chanted to myself continuously, sitting on the back seat of the car as the driver was driving me home. I brought my shivering hands together, in an attempt to stop them from quivering while I was trying to look normal when the driver gave me a suspicious look from the front mirror.
I attempted to smile at him a little, secretly praying for the end of this torturous journey and to reach home soon. Once I reached home, I got off the car and rushed inside without even bothering to close the car's door on my way.
I climbed the stairs and stood in front of Athayya's room. Then raised my trembling hand to knock on the door but dropped it after a little hesitation. I just turned around to head towards my room, when the door of her's got opened and she came outside while adjusting her bun. She seemed to be surprised and frowned a little at what I was doing in front of her room but smiled at me warmly.
"Why are you standing there itself? Come inside." She welcomed me and nodding at her, I hesitantly entered inside as she followed me by closing the door.
"Do you need something? Why are you standing outside like that but not calling me?" She questioned me as I started looking around, not knowing what to answer. Sensing my hesitation, she nudged my shoulder in a way of asking me to say it out without any hesitation.
"Can I sleep for a while by laying my head on your lap?please?" Though it wasn't my intention, the word 'please' came out of my mouth in a vulnerable tone.
She frowned at me at first but soon an understanding look formed on her face and she gestured me to place my head on her lap once she settled herself in the middle of the bed. Passing her the thankful smile, I hurried to embrace her motherly gesture.
Once I placed my head on her lap, she started running her fingers through my hair as my eyes literally teared for some obvious reasons.
'Is this how it feels to experience the motherly love?' I asked myself as this was the first time I experienced this kind of warm and fuzzy feeling. Though peddhamma, Daksha akka, and yuktha akka had done the same thing to me several times in the past, it was not the same.
"What's bothering you, Aaru?" She asked me and as if it was a cue, a sob escaped my mouth after hearing her gentle tone.
I buried my face in my hands and started wailing painfully as she moved her hands from my hair and started patting my back in a consoling manner. I knew she had so many questions, not only her even Dhruv must have so many questions and thoughts running in his mind but how can I answer them? How can I say what a kind of sinner I am? but they all deserve the truth and I know I have to tell them.
With this, I closed my eyes in determination and decided to tell them soon. I don't know how but soon I dozed off. By the time, I woke up, I noticed that it was already getting dark. Seeing this, I hurriedly stood up from the bed but stopped when I notice Dhruv, sitting on a couch and watching my every move. I bent down my head, not knowing how to look into his eyes which have so many unasked questions.
"Dhruv, this morning-" just when I started speaking, he interrupted me by closing the distance between us.
"Ssh. We will talk about this matter later. Go to our room and get ready for now. Swarna already called me once as you were not attending her calls. I gave her an excuse that I got busy with something. It's already past seven. We can't keep all of them in wait. Go, I will be downstairs." I nodded at him gratefully as I started heading outside the room along with him.
"Wear a dress that you are comfortable in because mom isn't there to help you with the saree. They have already left to your parent's house." He informed me before walking towards the stairs. Looking at his retreating figure, I decided to do something that had never imagined doing, ignoring the agonizing protests of my heart.
Dhruv's pov:
I reached home before the clock strikes 5 as I was pretty worried about her, after witnessing her trembling in panic. The moment I entered the living room, Mom bombarded me with so many questions like why Aaru was crying when she came home and asked me about what happened in my office. When I explained to her about all the happenings those had taken in my office and she just frowned in confusion as to what was the reason for that.
When she asked me the same, I just shrugged my shoulders helplessly as I, myself was entirely clueless about the entire situation. She nodded at me and informed me that she was sleeping in her room. I went to my room and got dressed in formal wear before grabbing a quick bath. After that, I headed to mom's room to see Aaru. She was sleeping so peacefully without having any worries about this world.
I chuckled when I witnessed her weird sleeping postures. Meanwhile, Swarna once called me to ask why Aaru wasn't attending her calls and why we both were still not there! I just gave her some random excuse and informed her that we will reach there soon. Aadya informed me that they all were leaving and asked me to come soon along with Aaru.
Just when I got settled on the couch, once Aadhya left from there, I noticed Aaru was awake and saw her getting off the bed hurriedly after witnessing the dark sky through the window.
I shook my head and started watching her every move. Once she noticed my presence, she was about to explain the morning's incident but I assured her that she can explain everything later and informed her about Swaru's call before asking her to get ready.
Once I headed downstairs, I attended some emails while waiting for her. Soon I sensed her presence and lifted my head from my phone to have a glance at her but frowned a little when I noticed something. Don't get wrong, she was looking ethereal but her face was in complete contrast to it. Her eyes were blank, appearing almost lifeless and the usual glint in her pretty brown orbs were nowhere to be seen.
I gulped when I absorbed the seriousness of the entire issue and a slight panic aroused within me when I felt like something was surely going to happen. Unlike every time, she hasn't given me her silly smile till now. In fact, she didn't even meet my eyes as if she wanted to avoid an unthinkable confrontation.
I was about to ask her the same but she just went outside without even giving me a chance. I sighed and followed her outside. Once we got settled in the car, she started looking outside the window, while I was passing her the worry glances occasionally. Believe me, her silence was so scary and I started to feel like she was completely a different person now. The whole ride to her house was filled with silence.
Once we reached her place, we both noticed a petite figure waiting near the main gate. That was the only time Aaru reacted by shaking her head after she caught the glimpse of who might it be.
She hurriedly got down the car once I stopped it and rushed towards Swaru. Both sisters talked to themselves with a smile and I sighed in relief when I noticed a smile on Aaru's face. Though it was not as bright as before, it was still better than her lifeless glances.
After parking my car, I approached the sister pair and Swaru greeted me enthusiastically. I smiled at her and patted her head lovingly.
"Bava, don't spoil my hairstyle." She said with a slight pout almost resembling Aaru when she did that. I chuckled and wished her on her birthday.
"Many more happy returns of the day, Swaru." I wished her and she smiled at me brightly.
"Thank you, Bava, but where is my present?" She asked me cheekily while stretching her hand out.
"Oh sorry! I actually forgot to buy you a gift in a hurry." Hearing this, her face fell a little, and looking at Aaru for confirmation.
"Stop teasing her." Aaru said while smiling at me and turned towards her sister." He bought your present before a week itself."
Swaru's face lit up with a smile once she heard her words and I nodded at her and said," I think it must be with my mom only and thank me later for that present ."
Hearing it, she rushed inside the house with her clutches without even glancing at us.
"Swaru, be careful!" Aaru shouted but she just waved off her words and went inside.
Aaru sighed and started walking ahead but I held her hand.
"Aaru, stop scaring me. Will you? I don't know what caused you to behave like this but I am pretty worried about you. Just remember whatever the thing that's scaring you and caused you to panic like this morning, I will be there for you to overcome it. Believe me for once at least." I told her in a pleading tone and she looked at me blankly and nodded at me slightly but still, I wasn't satisfied with her answer.
It was like she was not trusting me with her life's bitter truth and that thought itself was like a jab to my heart. Unable to say anything at her response, I went inside and greeted everyone with a fake smile.
I met Arjun and Indra there and had a small talk with them Meanwhile, Swaru came to my side and thanked me profusely for the present I had brought for her. She started telling her friend in a gushing tone about me. I smiled wholeheartedly at her innocence but my eyes caught the sight of Aaru looking at her mother, who was quietly resembling the lifeless doll.
Her mom was sitting on a chair and was glancing outside the window blankly while Aaru was looking at her painfully. My thoughts got distracted when Mavayya summoned everyone for the dinner and soon one by one got busied themselves with the food.
I joined everyone on the dining table and got settled on the chair which was on Aaru's right side and left to her was Swaru who was talking profusely to Aaru while Aaru was nodding occasionally at her in response. Left to Swaru was Athayya who was witnessing both the sisters silently.
Soon the servants started serving the food as the elders were busy talking to themselves. The whole room was filled with laughter and hushed talks. When the maid was about to serve Aarna, she stopped her and asked one of the servants to bring her some soup, giving the excuse that she wasn't feeling hungry.
I looked at her but chose to stay silent and even I lost my appetite after that. Soon one of the maids brought the soup to Aarna and was about to place it on the table by standing in between Aaru and Swaru but before doing so, the bowl accidentally got slipped from her hand and the whole soup got spilled on both Aaru and Swaru from the maid's hand.
My eyes widened at that and I was about to stand up to rush to Aarna's side in reflex but stopped when I saw her mother standing up from her seat and rushed to Swaru side.
"Can't you be a little more careful? See! What you have done now? Just go away from my sight." She shouted on the maid while hurriedly dabbing Swaru's hand which got scalded just a little.
I was completely speechless to witness her actions and glanced at Aaru who was looking at her own hand with the pain clearly evident on her face. I widened my eyes and sprang up from my seat after witnessing the horrible sight of her hand. I think the majority portion of the soup got spilled on Aaru itself. I scolded myself for noticing it so late as the bubbles already started forming on her hand.
"Aaru, your hand. Daksha, yuktha, please take a look at her hand." I called both of them in a panic as they both rushed to her side immediately but Aaru who was obvious to everything was sitting there motionlessly, not even a frown on her face was seen.
It was like she was immune to this pain. Even when Yuktha was applying the ointment on her hand, she didn't even hiss in pain. My eyes got misted at her sight and I passed a glare at her mom but frowned in confusion when seeing the teary eyes of her when she witnessed the state of Aaru.
I don't know whether she is genuinely feeling bad or just pretending because can't she see that both of her daughters got hurt at the same time but she has eyes only for her younger daughter? She didn't even spare a glance to Aarna. Everyone with eyes can see that obvious thing. Was everything like this since her childhood? Did Aarna go through this constant bias every time in the past? I have my doubts from the start itself about the relationship between Aaru and her mom. They both never appeared intimate and didn't even meet each other's eyes.
"Enough." I came out of my thoughts when I heard her voice. She stood up from her chair, clearly refusing to get the ointment to get applied for the remaining part of her hand.
"Aarna, don't be silly. Let Yuktha Akka apply the ointment." Aarushi shouted at Aarna but she didn't pay any heed.
"Sorry for the disruption. Everyone, please enjoy your meal." Saying this in a monotonous tone, she was about to head outside.
"Aaru. Stop there. It requires proper first aid. Listen to me and please sit there. It must be paining like hell." Her father told her in a soft tone, hoping she will listen to him.
"Yeah. It's paining a lot, dad but not more than" she said while pointing at her heart," the pain it is enduring for the past 20 years."
Saying these with the tears in her eyes, she ran outside as I grabbed the ointment tube from Yuktha's hand and followed her. I could hear my Mavayya scolding his wife for being senseless but I cared less. Aaru is my priority.
I ran on my way while looking for the presence of Aaru but I got worried when I couldn't find her. Suddenly I heard the sniffing sounds of someone and following in that direction from where it was coming, there I found Aaru sitting on the ground with her head buried in her knees. My heart wrenched in pain at the mere sight itself as I rushed to her side. I pulled her into my embrace as I hugged her tightly. She buried her face in my embrace and started sobbing her guts out.
"Why is it always like this? Why does she never put me in her eyes? Am I that bad? Did she hate me that much? I know I am a sinner but I didn't do it intentionally. Believe me." She said in between her sobs, clutching the sides of my shirt with her fists. Though I was completely clueless about the entire thing but lending her my shoulder was the least thing I could do.
"Ssh. Stop crying. I don't know what happened between you both but I can say that she doesn't hate you." I assured her.
"Liar. You all are damn liars. Dad always says the same. Grandpa and grandma would say the same too but all I can witness and get in return is hurt. She can never look at me with love. In fact, she never spares me a glance. Everyone hates me. Even you will be disgusted by me once you come to know the truth. You will leave me for good. Why God is still keeping me alive? I really want this pain to end forever." She said, still sobbing and my heart clenched hearing her each word.
"Aarna!! Stop talking like this. Whatever it might be, we will get over it together. I will be there for you to support you in every situation. I don't know what to do, to assure you that I can neither hate you nor I can live without you. The mere thought of leaving you itself is killing me from inside. Believe me, I will be with you forever." I told her sincerely but she just shook her in denial.
"Don't give me the empty promises. I am still not sure whether you have completely gotten your Ex or not then how can I think about eternal togetherness with you? How can I trust you with my life's biggest secret? I never hide my feelings for you and I openly declared my love for you in every instance but do you for once ever assure me that you are indeed in love with me? No..right." I just sat there numbly not knowing how to refute her hurtful words.
"I am human after all, Dhruv. Though I can understand your gestures and sincerity, some things are better said than done. I craved to hear you professing your love for me in the past but not now. I no longer needed your love. Though you are saying that you won't leave me, I simply can't believe it. My words might be a little hurtful but that's the result of my heart's current turmoil. I lost trust in myself. I became an insecure girl.
" I even fear being happy because every time I think of it, I always question myself like 'how can a person who destroyed so many lives deserve this happiness'? I might always smile like a silly fool but it's like my defense mechanism. My smile is my shield, protecting my inner self to not get exposed. So don't need a girl with baggage. I am truly sorry for burdening you with my feelings all these days but I got a clear understanding of everything now. I have thought it through thoroughly.
"To be honest, the moment I saw you, it was true I really got attracted to you. I thought it was love but with each passing day, I realized it was just an attraction and I mistook it as love. Who doesn't have silly crushes in their lives? So I came to peace with that fact and you don't have to force yourself to love me anymore. I am fine even if you don't want to stay in this relationship. In fact, even I don't want to stay in this relationship. Let me walk away from you."
"Shut up. It's enough." I shouted at her angrily but she still continued.
"Dhruv, you don't have to feel obliged. I know you respect this relationship but I am just your responsibility..nothing more than that. So don't do things that come out as an obligation." She said, without looking at me. To say her words were so hurtful would be an understatement.
"Damn, Aarna!! How many times do I have to tell you that I have started falling for you? Yes, I might be a jerk and my actions might have hurt you a lot in the past but aren't I trying my best to be a good husband? I might not be good with my words but aren't I proving it to you through my actions? What more do you need? When I wasn't in love with you, you cried for it but when I am telling you that I started falling for you, why can't you believe me? Whether it is, you can't or you don't want to? Isn't it what you always want?" I took a deep breath before I continued.
" You don't have to pretend like a bad person. I knew why you are saying all those mean things to me. Trust me, even if you want me to leave you, I will never do it. So don't waste your efforts." Saying this angrily, I was about to go from there as I was in much need to calm myself a little. I don't want to make the things ugly than they are already, by uttering some nasty hurtful words and regret later but her broken words, made me froze on the spot.
"What if I say that I am a murderer? Will you still stay with me?" She asked me in a torn out tone.
"What!" I spun around, still having a hard time digesting her words.
"I am M.U.R.D.E.R.E.R, Dhruv. I am a sinner." She shouted at the top of her lungs while clutching her heart. I stepped back a little, too shocked to even react a little.
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