(THIS IS AN EDITED CHAPTER THAT WAS WRITTEN AND INITIALLY RELEASED IN 2021 AND THEN ARCHIEVED FOR EDITING)
Sky's POV:
"I think we should talk," I say and sit on her bed, she holds onto my hand and nods, not meeting my eyes, we should have done this way earlier,
"I can see-" she starts but I stop her, she doesn't let go of me hand or break the eye contact,
I look into her eyes, there's so many emotions dancing around, "I should have told you this, I kissed her that night we were trapped at the Christmas dinner, and I tried to convince myself it was nothing, we had just gotten together and you were always so happy, I didn't want to ruin that for you, but seeing her like this tonight-" the crack in my voice provokes a tear in my eyes, I'm a jerk I know, I shouldn't be the one getting upset
Bloom smiles and runs her finger under my eye and rubs the tear away, she not angry I don't think, there isn't a ballroom of flames around us so I take it as a good sign,
"Sky," she starts and sniffs twice, "I knew, I could tell from the beginning, I was only lying to myself that there was nothing between you two, and trust me if this was a few months ago I would be screaming and throwing flames around, but if Ana has taught me one thing, it's that you won't fix anything by that, yes we're breaking up but I don't want to lose you, you're an amazing friend," she says and I stare at her dumbfounded.
She stands up and reaches out to hug me, I give in, laying my arms around her neck, lowering my head, she runs circles on my back, "She's going to be ok, she's just drained," she whispers trying hard to not let her voice crack and I nod.
Eventually we return to the main room, Stella is nowhere to be seen, everyone knows what went down between me and Bloom without us needing to say word, I let my eyes search around the room, we all get our hot drinks and I carry one to Stella she's crying, after I put her cup down I pull her into a hug, she just cries quietly, I haven't seen Stella this attached to anyone in such a long time.
After fighting me for 10 minutes she finally agrees to come sit with us in the sitting area, the clock strikes half past six in the morning, these girls have been awake all night.
"We shouldn't tell Dowling what happened" Musa announces and every looks towards her shocked,
"Are you insane?" Aisha ask, "What are we going to say when she asks where Anastasia is?" she continues,
"She wasn't feeling well, sick out of her stomach" Terra comments,
"And you don't think she'll want to some see her?" Aisha continues defensively, I think I better stay silent, I don't need a group of girls attacking me.
"She's right," Stella says, removing her face from her hands, Aisha smiles proudly but then the blonde continues, "We can't tell," Aisha huffs before letting Stella continue, "The diaries Ana found, Dowling didn't want her to find them, that's what Ana said to me, Musa and Terra, and on top of that she was in the east wing, which is clearly banned, she's just going to get into more trouble," Stella explains,
"Dowling's eventually going to find out," Bloom speaks up empathetically,
"Yeah, but it won't be right now, we need Ana to rest, regain some power, be able to open her eyes," Musa states before putting her headphones on, I can't imagine what it must be like being an empath, her head must be cracking in half right now.
Then it was decided we all say Ana is unwell, and go about our day, some returning between lessons to check up on her.
Anastasia's POV:
I let out a shiver when I gain back conscious, my stomach goes again and I realize I'm in my bed, under seven blankets, that's why I'm kind of warm. I look around my room until my eyes meet the journals and the letter on my desk.
A pain washes over me, a heartache, a hole, that's never going to be filled, then I let my eyes focus past it, two croissants and an apple with a little post-it note, I can tell it's Stella's handwriting,
'We're telling the teachers you're ill, here's some food so you don't starve x' it says, I stand up, and change my clothes, a put another pair of leggings and crop top, it's got the words 'be free' on it, it's cute but I cover it with a hoodie, I make a cup of tea and sit on the sofa eating my food, I realize I'm acting as nothing happened, my brain is trying to block me away from the trauma, I pull a few blanket close, I'm still cold and when I try to light my fire it's like a failed match. There's a spark but I'm too weak to make it grow.
I know I can't go on like this so when I finish my food I carry the journals into the sitting room, alongside the letter, and I take a deep breath before nesting into these heaps of information again, I make notes about everything I've learned about my life in the last few months and the stuff from the journals, my head starts to make the connections and I hate them.
My mother and I have darkness powers, just like my grandmother, who according to my mother was evil and cursed the power. In a short entry she mentioned monsters waking up and hurting people when the power got out of hand.
And what did Queen iodide have?: Darkness powers, she rose the dark ones from the ground, and set eternal darkness cursing the power, so whenever used dark ones would come out to play.
There were no dark ones for years Dowling explained, and now I know she means since my mother died, I was obviously on earth, so there was no one to let loose the darkness and rise the dark ones from the ground.
The first time I let it slip was the announcement of the Christmas dinner, yes it was only a moment, but then a dark one appeared and hurt Silva, then I got less and less careful and more and more started appearing, they were the things calling me into the forest.
Everything adds up, my grandmother was Queen Iodide and that's why my mama said people talked about her often and mostly around the celebration of light, the old Queen was known to have no heir but that must be another lie Dowling is passing around, that's why my mother had to lie to everyone, and eventually they found her, her darkness went out of control.
The realization hits me like crashing into a wall, I had thought my mother was a young pregnant fairy who had accidently got herself pregnant and died in a war against some kingdom and not this.
I am the heir to the woman who killed innocent people, who wanted eternal darkness, she wanted people's pain and when she couldn't have it, and she was being rebelled against she cursed her entire bloodline to cause nothing but pain. Everyone is going to hate me. Stella is going to hate me. Her mother is most definitely going to hate me. The whole of Solaria is going to hate me.
I open my mouth to scream, my heart feels like it's going to bursts through the skin over my chest, nothing comes out of my mouth, there's nothing I could say, even screams can't come out, I can't even break into a sob. I sit there in shock, my whole body hurts, and I'm frozen except my chest rising up and down from the rapid breathing.
Within a second I am up and heading towards the suit doors, students look at me as I go past, I on the edge of tears, but I'm so scared if I let myself show or act on any emotion I'm going to go out of control like my mother, and there'll be more dark ones, more people will die, I can't - I can't, I should die, I should be killed, I have no child no one to pass this burden onto.
The whirlwind of thoughts, slows down when I reach Farah's office, Aisha is in lesson so no one's in the assistant seat. I go to knock frantically on the door to her main area. Nothing. I start knocking louder and more frequently. Finally she opens the door about to scold whoever was knocking so disrespectfully.
Her face flashes from annoyed to worried, "Ana, are you alright, the girls said you were ill, a little overwhelmed," she states, I take a deep breath and shakily let it escape but I let out sobs my hand reaches to my stomach, I'm so angry and sad and alone and scared all at the same time.
"Why!" I scream at her, finally finding my voice, "Why didn't you tell me?!" I cry out and she grabs my arm and pulls me into her office,
"What? What happened? Anastasia?" she asks, but I look to the ground, my lips trembling, tears building up in my eyelids.
"Professor Silva could of died because of me, these students died because of me, who else did I kill?" I ask desperately, my face crumpled up, I stare straight past her, refusing to let the tears roll down my face.
"What-" she starts before she realizes what I know, "You went to the east wing, even though we banned it without teacher supervision!" she argues.
I let out an amused laugh, "That's what you're worrying about," I inevitably meet her eyes.
"You could of been attacked!" she continues with a façade, I grab my head between my hands, holding so tight I'm scared I might squash it completely, my head is pounding.
My hands are trembling as I move them to my lips momentarily, "I know that was a ruse to stop me from snooping, just like Silva sent out Sky to stop me," I say, I don't care what she'll say at me addressing Silva improperly, she lied, crossed the line by miles, hundreds, thousands of miles.
"Why- why was my mother stupid enough to have a child, why did you let me live?" I accuse her, I look to my hands, I look and sound insane, I've peaked, I can't take anymore, "You should have let me die as a baby," I spit at her.
She shakes her head, "No, you aren't thinking straight, you weren't meant to find out this way, you didn't deserve to die you were just a baby, you shouldn't pay for your grandmother's mistakes, it was your mother's dying wish, you were innocent like her, you still are" She explains, her voice weak
"I don't give a damn about my mother's dying wish, you should have killed her when you had the chance," she gasps zt my words, "instead you let her lie to everyone she loved, YOU made her live with this burden, made her write those stupid diaries " I continue, I know I'm not thinking rationally,
"Anastasia don't you dare talk about your mother like that!" she loses her calm demeanor, she's angry, sick and tired of me, I don't blame her, "She was happy, she wanted to live, she wanted children, many, she knew she wasn't her mother and she wanted a brighter future," I laugh at the irony of a 'brighter' future since my grandmother wanted darkness.
"Well I don't want to live, I want to die! And I want other people to stop dying, I don't want to lie to my friends, I don't want children to pass the burden onto, I might as well step into my grave now, better sooner than later," I press, nodding my head.
"You don't mean that," she starts, "your mother was just like you, so I told her to write those journals, and she got better, understood that her life was important, she had people who needed her," she finishes, no one needs me, I only cause chaos and I know it, if people don't get hurt around me physically they get hurt emotionally.
She's not going to let this go, I take a few breaths and calm down, she thinks I'm coming to my senses, instead I know she won't let me out if I don't act as if I want to live and have 'come to my senses' so I respectively calm down and she explains how the diaries helped her, and how her and I were going to work through my history and my mum's life together slowly, so I can understand it better, and maybe she has some sense in that, maybe it could get better, I grabbed at the roots of my hair holding so tight that I could have ripped it all out, but with my clam breaths I realse my steal hold.
The thought crosses my mind that maybe I could tell my friends that my mother was just a stupid teenage fairy who died in battle, then they wouldn't hate me, I could never bring up my darkness ever again, but then I realize that they'll connect the dots together eventually, and then they'll the ones to kill me because of who I am, and they'll feek betrayed because I lied to them, their last memory of me horrible.
I came in here at two and now it was five thirty, the suit mates were going to start looking for me soon, I go to reach my phone but it quickly hits me that I never plugged it in, and I was in such a rush to get here that it must still be on my sofa from when Sky brought me to Stella's room last night,
Sky's POV:
I get to the Winx suit right after I finish my last training session and I find all the girls sitting on the sofa, the four journals spread out in front of them, all closed except the letter, I look around and Ana is nowhere to be seen.
"She's not here Sky," Aisha says, they all look so calm, it somehow stops me from freaking out, "You guys didn't look through her stuff right?" I ask, some of them are looking at the letter.
Musa bites her lip and looks at the table, "this stuff was here when we arrived, the journals were closed but the letter was wide open, " she slows down as she speaks hoping to reach the inevitable,
"We read it Sky, and it's horrible," Bloom's voice breaks, she's speaking so quietly I didn't think it was possible.
I pick up the letter and read it, this was made me feel so much closer to Ana, reading this while trapped last night would have been a hit in the gut , with whatever else was in those journals, which I'm not planning on reading, unless Ana wants to share that with me, I trust the girls that they didn't touch them either.
Her mother was killed, if she didn't give birth that exact moment Ana wouldn't be here either and I can't even think of that reality, I wonder if the girl knows what her mum did to get that punishment.
"We know she didn't leave the school building, because she wouldn't of left without these," Stella announces pointing to the letter and journals, her phone is still dead on the sofa where I left it early this morning, "but she did eat the food, so we decided to wait for you to come back before we look for her," Stella says there's a look in her eyes, like she's trying to hold herself together, as if seeing Ana that way last night and her being gone again broke her into thousands of peices and now she was trying to stick them back with tape, I know how she feels.
"We have to not look suspicious though, so no running around calling her name, just walk around casually and text the winx chat as soon as you find her," Aisha announces to everyone.
I sigh, "You seem to forget that I'm not on that chat," I add and raise my eyebrow.
"True, I'll make a new chat with everyone but Ana, in case she sees we're looking for her and tries to leave," Terra assures then realsing that her phone was here, "In future instances" and we all separate, searching the school.
I inform them I'll go in the direction of Dowling's office, I don't walk very far when my phone goes off, highlighting that I've been added to a group called 'Mission Ana' which sounds suspicious as hell might I add, I'm so focused on walking ahead and looking everywhere I don't realize Silva was calling me.
"Sky! I'm talking to you," he says waving his hands in front of my face, pulling me out of the trans, "Sorry," I mumble he pats my shoulder assuring me that it's ok, he goes to say something but he gets a message I can see it's from Dowling before he turns the phone so I can't see it.
When he finishes reading I try to get my words out before he can start speaking, "Have you seen Anastasia? I need to talk to her about something?" I ask normally as possible, hoping he won't see the eagerness in my eyes.
"About that," he starts still distracted on his phone, "I need you to stay away from her. Completely," he says in a commanding tone. I stare at him for a moment confused,
"What?" Is all I can say, I think I misheard him, "I'm serious Sky, stay away from her," he says, texting Dowling back on his phone, I pull at his hand so he's forced to look at me.
He's annoyed that I'm not just complying to whatever he says, "What? Why? Is it because of what professor Dowling has just messaged you?" I ask,
He huffs, "It doesn't matter what professor Dowling has sent to me, it's a faculty update, not student," he warns, annoyance now clear in his voice
"First you tell me to spy on the girl for you and now you're telling me to stay away from her? What is wrong with you?!" I question, my voice raised, "She saved you,"
"Sky, do not take that tone with me, I have to go, and you will listen to do what I say," he announces and walks away before I get another word in, I huff but completely ignore him.
I'm approaching Dowling's office when I see her, she's rushing out of it and towards the entrance, I follow behind her, trying to not make her notice me until she's outside, I hit the fresh air a moment after her.
"Ana, where are you going?" I ask, my tone stays the same, she turns around and I see even more tear stains, her hands are shaking, she looks like she could break at any moment,
"Why are you here Sky?" she asks in return, not an answer to my question, she shakes her head, she looks drained and annoyed,
I look into her eyes, which shine their usual way even in the evening darkness, "Ana, we saw the letter, you left it opened," she's about to shout something but I cram in my words, "We didn't read the journals, just the letter, you left it wide open," I explain and she huffs, she looks so done, so desperate for escape.
"I'm so, so, so sorry about what happened to your mum, and even thought I may not know the whole truth, or why it happened I know enough to know it wasn't fair that you didn't get to know her," I say trying to approach her slowly, she senses what I'm doing and backs away slowly.
When I start taking longer steps she twists her palms and fire appears,
"Sky," she starts her voice slow and calm, "Don't take another step forward, I don't want to hurt you," her dark hair dances with the wind, she looks so worried yet so free.
"Hurt me?" I ask confused trying to step closer to her again and the flames quickly go from fire to darkness, I almost can't distinguish between it and the night.
She looks at her hands terrified, she tries to shake the darkness away but it only grows, "Ana, it's ok calm down," I say, from the same distance, she looks around frantically, "Focus on me, look into my eyes, it's ok," I say and I watch the darkness disappearing,
I take slow steps and when she is in reach I grab her into an embrace, she stands there, not moving for a moment before she wraps her arms around my shoulders and lays her head against my chest. Her breathing slows. I run my hand down her hair, we both stand in silence, I look at the forest behind her, that's where she's trying to go.
That's where she will go, even if I drag her to suit, even if we have a roommate watch, no one can be around her 24/7 for the rest of her life, she'll find a way, and I know I'm about to do something I'm going to regret.
Ok soooo we officially have 4 chapters left after this one, so sad and yet so exciting, it's all coming together now.
Please don't hate Ana
Words - 3452
(THIS IS AN EDITED CHAPTER THAT WAS WRITTEN AND INITIALLY RELEASED IN 2021 AND THEN ARCHIEVED FOR EDITING)