tw:mentions of suicide and self harm
i would but a start and an end but the whole chapter is based around it soo just be cautious.
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and whilst everyone else is spending new years with their loved ones.
george was sitting on the edge of a cliff without the man he met under the stars.
he never even got to say goodbye.
or i love you.
————
"george. GEORGE! wake up, it's 7pm."
"sapnap, where is he?!"
george said with panic in his voice.
"who?"
"dream!!"
"george.. not this again."
"he killed himself 2 weeks ago. you saw it as well. what are you talking about?"
"i had another dream didn't i."
"i think so."
"what happened in it?"
"basically how me and dream met. how we fell in love. and then him leaving.
he left a voicemail when he left.
it said almost exactly what it said in his suicide note.
basically just the story of us.
but in real time.
he jumped off the cliff.
not left it."
"i'm really sorry george."
"is he ever going to come back sapnap."
george's voice cracked.
"he is dead george. so no. not in this lifetime anyway."
george knew it.
but still hearing it made him burst out into tears.
sapnap wanted to give him a hug.
but he couldn't.
george wouldn't let him.
george wouldn't let anyone touch him.
dream ruined that.
dream was the only person who was allowed to touch him but he left as well.
he god damn left me after promising he wouldn't.
just the thought made george bang his head hardly on him headboard.
"oh george.. don't do that."
"please could you leave, i don't want to end up shouting at you for something that wasn't your fault."
"yeah of course george."
truth be told that george was more angry than upset.
probably because it hasn't hit him that he was gone just yet.
but it will soon.
he had lost all trust.
cut himself off from everyone besides bad and sapnap.
stopped streaming.
hid his phone somewhere.
stopped eating.
slept all the time.
he really had gone to a low point.
he really did love dream as well, more than he could ever love someone else.
the type of love that you feel all day around, the type of love you go to sleep thinking of and you dream of, the type of love you see in movies.
the type of love soulmates have.
he was convinced that their souls were made the same.
but now that part of him was gone.
george went back to sleep.
hoping he wouldn't have another dream like that.
————
he woke up to everyone getting ready for the funeral.
meaning he should get ready as well.
so he did.
it's not in the dress code but he wore dream's black merch to honour him.
it still smelt of him.
it made george cry.
just thinking how he once wore this.
with this he wore tight black trousers (pants for you americans) and fancy black shoes.
he also wore dream's black beanie.
which once again smelt like him.
he hated all the reminders of his once existence.
yes he loved dream.
but knowing he was once here made him mad.
RIGHT SO I DONT EXACTLY KNOW IF THAT WOULD BE ACCURATE because i mean i've experienced similar and that's how it felt but idk no one died in my caseANYWAYS LOL SAD FINALE OOPS
————
"george!!"
"catch me if you can"
george was giggling, he loved when him and dream chased each other in minecraft.
"careful that you don't fall into lava"
you could hear the smirk in dreams voice.
george had fallen so hard.
for him
and for the stoopid lava pit dream placed because george was too busy day dreaming.
"DREAM THATS NOW FAIR I WAS DISTRACTED!!"
"it's not my fault you were thinking about my pretty face."
"maybe i was"
george smirked so hard.
"oh shut up"
dream knew he didn't like him like that.
he could only dream.
"george? george! it's your time to speak!"
he was back at the funeral again.
"yeah sorry i zoned out"
george went up behind dream's casket.
luckily they had closed it before george had a look because he couldn't stand seeing his deceased body.
he started to speak.
his voice was hurt. quiet.
"as you can all see we are all here for the death of my boyfriend dream.
i don't want to go into detail of what happened.
but dream.
he was a good man.
he had gone through absolute SHIT from half of the people in here.
you know who you are.
so fuck you."
george was getting angry,
"that trauma half of you put him through was what caused him to end it all,
and since he was such a good person, he'd always listen to other people than bring up his own problems.
he loved me.
that's why he told me.
but most of you didn't care to ask how his day was, or even tell him your proud of him.
most of you didn't even have the decency to talk to him!
and that's why he felt alone his whole entire life.
he couldn't carry on his family name either because all his 'parents' killed themselves.
when i first met clay.
he was polite.
and caring.
i knew since the damn second i saw him he was my soulmate.
the stars brought us together.
maybe if i cared a little more for him.
or said i love you before he left.
maybe he'd also still be here."
george choked out a sob.
"but now he's gone.
in his letter, one that i only got to see.
he mentioned that although he knows we're soulmates.
it's the wrong time.
and that he hopes in another galaxy that our souls will be together again.
and how maybe in another lifetime, the time will be right.
he never understood how much i loved him.
he was the thing my heart longed for, needed, and now he's gone, and i couldn't save him.
I WAS THERE AND I COULDN'T FUCKING SAVE HIM DAMNIT.
you don't think that this affects you that much, your sad for a week or two and it's over, but no idiot.
the nightmares.
the hallucinations.
the flashbacks.
his voice.
it's all just gotten worse.
and in some way it's more my fault than any of you."
it wasn't.
but george didn't believe any different.
ONCE AGAIN DK IF THESE FEELINGS ARE ACCURATE BUT LIKE THATS HOW I FELT AND STUFF SO REALLY POV OF ODEN KINDA NOT REALLY DOE THEY STILL ALIVE LOL BUT LIKE YOLO.
"i haven't gotten out of bed since it happened. or washed my clothes. or ate. or genuinely do anything besides use the bathroom for the very few minutes i'm awake. but i still struggle with that.
remember being so happy to see your bestfriend at school but then turns out they are sick.
that's the best way i can describe it.
but dream.
if your here with us.
any of us,
i love you so much.
and i'm so sorry i didn't say it earlier.
i'm never going to stop waiting for you to be back."
george didn't actually know if dream was there spiritually.
but he was. and he forgave george. he always did.
————
it was exactly a year later.
george stopped talking to both bad and sapnap and moved out of a place he once called home.
found a small apartment to live in by himself.
he quit the life he once use to have.
and now he worked in a cafe, the one with nihachu.
he never got better.
and dream never came back.
he was still waiting though.
and when it hit midnight he came to dream's grave to talk to him.
"you've been gone exactly one year dream.
i don't know when i'll ever get the courage to let all my feelings out about you to your grave.
but their will be a day.
hopefully.
all there is for now is that dream,
now i see what you mean. and i believe as well.
that maybe in another lifetime.
it'll be the right time for us."
————
{1393 words}
AND THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY.
did you guys actually like it?:D
it's kinda sad tho. OWELL I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING IT.
it took my mind off a lot of things so i'm really thankful that i've been getting support for this.
sometime in the future i might do an alternative ending but for now i'm planning to write another story once i find a good idea too.
this story contained a lot of topics about anxiety/suicidal thoughts/self harm/ptsd etc.
because these are things that do happen irl.
and i want every single person reading this rn to know that if you are struggling with any sort of bad mental health. there is always help out there. and if you really need to you can message me on here and talk to me. because at the end of the day each and everyone of you is valid and deserves the whole world. you are loved, you are real, you are present, you are accepted, you are cared for. please try and take care of yourself the best you can, i understand how it can be hard but it helps. i love you all so much <3