A big surprise awaits you in this chapter. Maybe the most unpredictable one.
🔹🔹🔹
|| Hold my hand and
I'll walk hell with you ||
🔹🔹🔹
“Are you sure?”, Manik's voice came out shaky, with happiness or with despair, he didn't know. On one side, there was this surge of delight that Nandini finally feels herself to be brave enough to face something that has been the cause of the doom for her lineage, and on the other hand was this question. ‘If what happens next, breaks Nandini, then is he brave enough to handle her?’.
Had this been a question of two years back, Manik would have gladly accepted her verdict. With the position Nandini was in two years back emotionally, she had already hit the rock bottom. But this Nandini, she was a result of Manik's love, care, determination and perseverance. And he certainly was not ready to let it go downhill. Manik needed some more assurance from her.
“You know why I was refusing to go there?”, Nandini didn't tear her gaze away from the serene river Senne that flowed quietly through the town. “I was scared that I will lose myself again if I come face to face with everything that had once destroyed me. This...this version of me, which is the boon of your resolve will slip away like sand”, though absolute wonder struck at how she was able to guess what he is thinking, Manik nodded to let her continue.
“And I was not ready to let that happen. I don't want you to go through the path of reviving me again”
There are some moments wherein your realise the depths of a person's love for you. In that moment, sitting in a thronging boulevard, surrounded by jarring crowd, Manik could feel the profundity of Nandini's love.
All the through these two years, Manik has kept doing his share of sacrifices for Nandini and their relationship, but he seldom looked at her side of the battle. While he was battling externalities, Nandini was at war with herself. And a war with yourself is never an easy fight.
Whenever the darker side of her concious tried to lure her in itself, she raged a combat within her. Those weren't driven by her own desire to flourish, rather with his desire of bringing her, even remotely closer to what she used to be . All the enhancement that she has brought about in herself, in such a short period of time, forgoing the long aching scars of her past; those were for him, for his love, for his sake.
No doubt Manik loved Nandini more than anything in the world, but when time came for him to choose between himself and her, he, at the first thought choose himself while Nandini. She has been choosing him over her, since a long long time without either of them realising that.
When it comes to Nandini, Manik has always had the right words to soothe her but today, Nandini's word had rendered him speechless. He was out of remarks.
Gathering himself somehow, Manik managed to pull up Nandini along with him from the bench they were sitting on. The tips of his nails dug inside Nandini's coat, that she could feel it on her skin. There was hardly any distance between them. With his hot breath fanning her face he said, “Look into my eyes Nandini”, his commanding voice compelled Nandini to gaze back on his resolute face.
“Till the time I'm breathing, you don't need to worry about falling into the same space. I will never let that happen, and even if against all odds it does happen, I'll be more than willing to bring you back to me, to us”
There was the fire of resolve burning in Manik's eyes. A flame so fierce, that it's blaze sent shivers down Nandini's spine. It just conveyed to her how he wasn't letting her go at any cost, even if he has to pay it with himself.
“Promise?”, the uncertainty laced voice of her came out as a meek whisper, yet it made Manik smile. “Promise meri jaan”, he kissed her forehead, bringing her in a hug, thus sealing the promise.
Manik wad floating on a high. A high which a person who hasn't experienced can never understand. There is a different kind of satisfaction that you feel when a person trusts you with her deepest darkest confessions. And when that person is the one you love, the satisfaction levels hit the roof.
Manik was still coming down from that high when he heard Nandini murmur something against his ears. The moment Manik comprehended her words, the cacophony of the bustling streets of Brussels ceased to exist. What remained were just those three words and the lean figure of the girl saying it in his arms, “Marry me?”.
~•~
The day was close to dusk. It was the perfect twilight time. With the skyline of Brussels that was visible from the balcony of their room, the sight was inciting.
But then a more pleasing sight to Nandini's eyes was the frame of the man, from whom he was expecting an answer that will alter the course of her life.
Manik had receded into a shell. A shell where he refused to communicate his thoughts with Nandini. She was somewhere expecting it, and gave him ample time to settle down himself, but six hours later, she was out of patience.
It was time she takes matters into her own hands.
Getting up from the the bed, she sauntered towards Manik, who had his back towards her. Wrapping her arms casually around Manik's torso, Nandini let her one palm rest right above his heart while the other one caressed his abdomen. It was erratic, almost as if she can hear it beating in her ears.
“Say something Manik”, she began after placing a chaste kiss on the middle of his back. Even if that kiss did affect him, he did not show it one percent. Nandini waited for next five minutes for an answer, or just a nod or shake of his head or anything. But nothing came, “Kab tak aise rahoge?”.
Nandini was given a silent treatment yet again and she had had enough of it. An answer was not what she desired right then, it was his pure unfiltered thoughts that she wanted. Like Manik had said, married or not married, he was her everything, and watching him like this hurts her in a way she can't elaborate.
Taking her chance, Nandini ducked under his arms and placed her self between them, leaning onto the balcony railings. She was expecting to meet his eyes finally, but he being the person he is, looked at every corner instead of her face.
Nandini released a sigh! Not the one showing her dismay or annoyance, but that where you just know a person too much to not understand his actions and how to deal with them.
It was an instinctive gesture where Nandini cupped Manik's face making him finally stop wandering his eyes far away and focus on her. “Speak to me Manik!! Or I am going back”, she gave a baseless threat. She was not going back without him, no matter what!
Just like a fish bobs, Manik did too forcing Nandini to bite the insides of her cheeks to stop her laugh. It would be such a mood spoiler. “You...Nandini...I mean...you”, Nandini mentally banged her head against a wall. If this was how he was going to converse then they'll be up all night without coming to a conclusion.
Nandini knew exactly what was needed. “Manik”, she looked at him in the eye, dead serious, “Speak. Clearly”. When he finally uttered something, it ordained her to give a smile to him, “Why are you acting under pressure?”.
Nandini's face, which was earlier adorning frowns, twitched up with a smile. “Oh Manik!”, she caressed his cheeks while her melodies laughter rang in the air around him. Manik was confused. He certainly didn't crack a joke that she began laughing.
“Sit”, she gestured him to take a seat on the bench nearby. Though a bit sceptical about her next action, Manik trusted Nandini enough to blindly follow her words. “Why?”, his mouth tried to retort even when he had taken his place.
“Because I wanna share something”, with their bodies touching, Nandini was ready to make an effort to make their souls touch. She was ready to let Manik into it, to let him share the mental torture she has been going through since years. She was ready.
“Manik remember, in the initial days you once asked me why I despise the concept of love”, unlike their major conversation, Nandini was looking straight into his eyes, as if asking to look into hers and see the depths of it. He replied with a slight nod.
“Because I saw how it consumed people”, there was a certain melancholy in her eyes as she spoke. “My papa...he loved mom. He loved mom with all his heart. He gave wings to her to fly, he created a sky for her, he took away all the weights that may hold her back and what did she do in return? Left him alone”.
“Arveena was always busy with business. She never made it to my parent teacher meets, or my annual recitals, or award ceremony or even birthdays. Still, I never held it against her. I had papa, Anjana aunty and everyone. I never felt I needed her until...”, the pregnant pause that she took set Manik's mind go haywire. For the time being, his confusion laced mind forgot the question that she had put up and focused on her.
“Until I realised I don't need her, but papa does. I have a person giving me motherly love but he, he doesn't have a partner who can support him when he needs a shoulders. Who should he revert to?”, Manik was all ears to her, yet he couldn't make out how are the two things connected that Nandini was telling him at such an odd time.
“Maybe it was because of this thought, that I started noticing him more. In front of my eyes, I saw him get older than he was. I saw life coping with him. I saw him drown in the wallows”, for a change, Nandini was talking freely to Manik about her past. Since he has come to know about it, Manik has tried talking to her many times but he hasn't been able to make her open up to her.
He knows what she was, but he wants to know how she got through it. He wants to know what she felt. He wants to know what wounds she got. He wants to the know the darker side of her, if only she lets him in.
“All the relationships that I have seen, ended up with the better person of the two loosing himself in the course of time”, it all started making sense suddenly. With just two lines from her, Manik was finally getting where there conversation was going. “That day, when you suddenly popped that question. All I could think about was, if because of me the same happens to you, I will...”, even before she could complete she was interrupted.
“No Nandini. You'll never leave me astray, I know. All stories don't end up like that”, Manik's voice was softer and more understanding. Nandini nodded with a sigh, “I know. I know when I see Raj uncle and Nyonika Aunty. I know when I see Abhi and Mukti. But I was still apprehensive. I thought I was right in being selflessly letting you go for your good”.
“Seriously Nandini? Love is not letting go. Love is standing up and fighting for it”, An out of the blue smile appeared on her face, “Someone told me the same”. “Who?”, came his instant question. “It doesn't matter who Manik. What matters is, I came here after understanding this. I came after I knew that all road from me, end at you. I came here to tell you the same. I came here to get you, and never let you go”.
The hands which were earlier limping by Nandini's side now held Manik's as she brought them up to her lips and placed a feathery kiss on them. Though there was a radiating joy on Manik's face, a thousand questions swirled in his head. “Speak up Manik, I know something is brewing in there”, Nandini knew him too well. The distortions and contortions that were forming on his face, conveyed the message too well to Nandini.
“Then why didn't you say this as soon as you came here? What stopped you?”, it was a valid question. A question that anyone would have. “I came here with the intentions of doing this at the first place, but coming here I realised, I haven't totally forgiven this place”.
“When I ask you to marry me, it means I am saying yes to a new chapter of my life, and I don't want to move to it with the lingering burden of my past. I wasn't sure if I am going to that place this time”, the confusion that Manik housed was clearing with every word she uttered. And she talked total sense. “Then what changed in just a matter of hours?”, he asked the last question that was bubbling.
“What happened in that cafe gave me a reality check”, she paused to gague his reaction and then began again, “Delaying the face off, will not guarantee it being less painful. It will not guarantee that I won't get back to being what I had become. But having you with me will. If ever I will be ready to face it, it will be when you're by my side”.
Manik wasn't sure how to react. Should he be happy or be moved? He choose to remain still. Still as a stone. “I have let it rule me for enough time. I want to move on. I want to leave it behind. And if there is something that will help, then it's a closure. I need a closure, so that we can begin with the life we dreamt of”.
And just like, Nandini articulated maybe the toughest thoughts her mind ever may house. She opened herself to Manik in the barest way possible, and was now examining his face for his probable response.
The response did come. And it came in the form of a warm hug, with Manik wrapping his large form over her petite one along with his arms. Nandini's emanated a chuckle at this, “Any more questions left?”. She felt him shake his head, “So can I get the answer now?”.
Coming out of the hug now, Manik was now gazing intently at her face which was in between his palms. His thumb rubbed against her rosy soft cheeks, as he noticed the red in them. Reducing the distance between themselves, he kept his forehead against her.
“Yes...Yes...a thousand time Yes”, he huskily replied, taking her lips in his almost immediately afterwards.
And there it was!
A question asked. An answer given. And their lives changed forever.
***
This was by far the toughest chapter that I have ever written. So much was to be conveyed and in a way that it all makes sense.
If there are questions, please ask me. I'm more than willing to answer them.
This is not the end to their rollercoaster in Belgium. Remember Nandini is yet to visit her house and her company. A few facts will come to light while a few closures will be made. All in all, a lot is still left.
Also, if you guys are interested in Billionaire Romance, please check out my story,
ARDOR - The Secretary.
It's the first part of a five book series. I have published the introduction while the prologue will be out next week.
Next chapter : 2/06/2021
See ya till then!!
Stay in. Stay safe. Get vaccinated.