"Are we done yet?" Acton asked impatiently wanting to just sit down and take a nap. He found the place huge and it's been hours of them walking around them mansion. "No." He couldn't help but give a exasperated sigh at the answer feeling exhausted already.
"Can we just meet the heir and Earl now? It's almost time to meet them." Acton asked in a whiny tone as he watched his butler halt. He only nodded guiding the way to the dining room which took a couple of minutes. Luckily there was no one there at the moment so he flopped on the chair.
"Ah. This is the life." He muttered, his fingers grazing over the soft cushion supporting his body. "Is that so?" Alex asked, curious about Acton's statement. He hummed, turning towards the door opening and freezing slightly at the sight of his step-brother. He quickly sat up straight, growing tense at his brother's cold eyes.
"Pleasure to meet you Cade Addington." Acton greeted stiffly which only got a nod of acknowledgment. "Likewise." Cade took his seat in front of him, his eyes practically piercing Acton and yet he said nothing. It was only a couple of minutes or so but it felt like hours for Acton.
Relief settled in when he saw his 'mother' and new father. Acton's mother shared a similar appearance to him but of course as a female version having long dark brown hair and soft dark grey eyes. Her appearance did have sex appeal but she seemed more cute and innocent making it a surprise she use to sell her body.
'Guess it's true about never judging a book by it's cover.' He thought boredly, wanting to hurry up and rest in his new room.
The Earl was also similar to his son and looked like he barely aged for someone nearing their early 40's. Though Acton's mom seemed the same as she didn't have any signs of aging.
His mother greeted him with a smile, Acton returning his own, though it was forced and awkward. "Oh dear you look tired. I told you already, you didn't need to clean our old house as we could have the servants do so." She scolded, sighing at the old owner of the body's stubbornness. Acton flinched at the confrontation, eyeing his mother warily as he gave a wobbly smile to her.
"Sorry mom I just want to do one last thing before I became a noble."Acton mumbled trying to stay in character, though it wasn't that hard. Other than the fact that he was insanely meek, he shared a lot of similarities with the old Acton personality wise.
His mother could only smile sadly at Acton, ruffling his hair much to his displeasure. Acton's hair was already a bit messy but she made it worse, making him scowl at her which she only responded with a satisfied smile. "Oh I've been stalling your meeting with your new father. Meet the Earl, David Addington." She introduced slipping her arms around the Earl's right arm and hugging it.
The Earl stared at Acton for awhile until he gave a small greeting making Acton smile awkwardly. Acton greeted him back giving his name which only made the Earl nod. "If you're comfortable enough you can call me father later on." He said with a poker face almost making Acton sweat drop at the similarities with his aloof son. 'Yeah that's never going to happen' he thought bitterly, remembering his father in his past life. It felt wrong to call someone else father when he already had one even if his memory of his dad was blurry, unable to recognize his actual name or facial features. His thoughts strayed back though, curious about this mother's boy, Acton's that is.
'Makes me wonder how his mother was able to seduce the Earl...'
"In a couple of days magic college is about to start and we're thinking of enrolling you in your brother's school. I remembered how you always asked me to buy you books for your birthday. I don't doubt you aren't ready from the things you've read and taught yourself." Acton's mother explained smiling brightly at the end. He only nodded with a small smile, though he felt like breaking down at the thought of going to school again.
It sucks for him because he was so close to graduating before his death but he of course died. He was going to go to college but at least he knew what he was signing up for, now he's forced to learn something from the very beginning in a new body much to his discomfort.
'Ugh I didn't think the person would actually stab me...'
He thought back on how scared the person was himself and how his hands shook when he stabbed him. But maybe he misinterpreted the shakiness with hesitation or anger, because could still remember the flash of relief in their dark eyes. The eyes were only visible much to his frustration, the rest seemingly blurry for some reason. But he was already dead so he didn't bother to dwell on who his murder was.
But the good thing is that he was above the 4.0 GPA student who did a bunch of AP classes. It was literal hell for him but he made it through somehow... So he deemed that he could always incorporate his pervious knowledge in whatever this college is going to offer him.
Acton turned his head towards the noise, watching the doors open and servants filling the room with plates of food. He couldn't help but get a little jumpy at the thought of food. He blamed it because of all that damn walking he endured.
He watched servant after servant coming to the table to place the plates of food in front of the family. Acton quickly thanked the servants quietly only to get a surprise expression sent to him by them. "Young master, nobles do not thank servants, it makes the noble look weak-willed to trying to please someone beneath themselves." Alex whispered towards Acton ear, making the boy jump in his seat as he didn't know he was so close by.
Alex stared at him with amusement for a second till his eyes went blank again. He found his young master amusing but he didn't want it to get in the way of his mission given by Cade.
"Right..." Acton muttered with a bit of a shiver, turning back towards his plate, grabbing his fork in order to start eating, though much slower than when he ate during breakfast. "Now that I think about it, you're wearing shorts aren't you? I couldn't help but notice them and how adorable they look on you! Reminds me of the times I use to dress you up in my old dresses!" His mother gushed, laughing at Acton's small glare.
"Hmm. David is it possible to get Acton shorts for his school uniform?" She questioned with a tilt to her head, he seemed to ponder about it and nodded.
Acton slightly paled at the thought, not wanting to look girly and a bit childish, sticking out from the crowd. He was fine being a background character so he really didn't want to be anything but that. Maybe talk and support the characters but nothing major. Though he didn't mind straying from his role but he refused to stand out. It was complicated for Acton now that he thought about it but he didn't want to endanger his life anymore than it was now. Which wasn't much in danger now but still.
"Mom. I don't want to be mistaken as a kid or girl." He explained to her, his expression a bit cold though she seemed unbothered by it, giggling at his remark. He already looked a bit feminine and with his hair a bit longer than his liking, the back hair touching his nape, could make him pass off as a petite girl who wanted to look tougher than she was. "Even if you wore the normal uniform you would still look like a girl or a kid. Besides you look cute with shorts!" Acton groaned at his new mother's stubbornness, letting her win this fight for now seeing as she was possibly correct.
She clapped her hands in excitement and Acton could tell she was thinking about all the outfits she could buy him with her new money.
'I didn't know she dotted on Acton this much...'
After lunch the family went their separate ways, Acton walking towards his room with his butler following his trail. Alex was quick to open the door for Acton, as for him, he was walking straight to the couch.
Acton watched Alex for a bit who seemingly was cleaning whatever he could, like making his bed. Though he didn't want to be weird and stare at his butler for too long, turning his view towards window and humming a tune. Below his room was the flower garden, many flowers brought together making a color combination. It was pretty, or at least to Acton it was.
Though with the silence brought thoughts. Thoughts about how detached Acton was from his old life. It made him realize the lack of reactions towards this life changing event.
He didn't feel much when he thought about his old family he left behind either. He tried to remember the moments he shared with his parents and his older sister who was often working. He remembered she was the one who introduced him to anime and the otome game even with how much he complained to her about it. But he barely shared any memories with his sister other than that much to his disappointment.
He never paid attention to his parents and neither did they pay attention to him other than his grades. He didn't know a lot about them nor did his parents know much about him. He realized he never got to understand them nor love them correctly. He never got to live his life with his family. He never got to live life in general.
But why? Why didn't he? He was told what to do for his whole life that now that he's not living in it anymore he doesn't know what to do. Even if he was still alive he wouldn't know what to do.
'I'm... scared?' Acton thought confused, watching his hands tremble slightly at his overwhelming thoughts, clenching his shirt, not caring if it caused wrinkles.
'Well this was new... But scared of what?'
But then it hit him. He figured that the uncertainty and the new environment is throwing him off. But it wasn't just that. He felt sadness... Sad that he never got to live the life he wanted to. Not that he knew what he wanted though.
He doesn't remember when his old family was affection both emotionally and physically, He never made friends. He never got to truly love.
Acton felt his lips twitch uncontrollably, feeling something in the middle of his throat, finding it hard to breath. He only let silent inhales and exhales through his nose, furrowing his eyebrows.
'Am I about to cry? I think so.'
Acton's cried a lot before, probably being the most expressive emotion he had in his last life. Acton was an AP student with a shit load of homework. He felt a lot of frustration and stress whenever he cried but now he also felt empty, sad, and lonely. Acton knew he was spiraling to despair but he was too far gone to save himself from a mental breakdown.
'Oh god I'm really going to cry. Like a lot...' Acton thought numbly, unable to stop the flow of tears anymore, sniffling a bit as he silently cried in frustration.
'If I did reach my goal in my last life what would I feel? Accomplished for a moment? But then what would I feel afterwards? Oh god am I only realizing how much my old life suck now?'
The loud thoughts hurt him. He felt suffocated. He felt confused. Lost. Afraid. He didn't understand. Why was he so bothered by losing his pervious life even with how boring and lacking it was? He didn't know himself. He only knew that what he felt was a longing to return to his old life.
"Young master?" Acton turned towards the voice to look at his butler, though his vision was blurry with tears. Alex tone seemed awkward, unsure on how comfort him, watching him cry. After awhile of silence and thinking, the question finally came out. "What can I do young master?" Alex asked stiffly, making Acton think about it while trying to ignore his overwhelming emotions.
"Please pet my head." Acton demanded with his voice quivering, making him look pitiful. It made Alex freeze at the sight and demand, hesitatingly doing so. Alex little act of comfort made Acton lean into his touch, making Alex uncertain and flustered. Not that he showed it.
'This feels nice... I never got these before without the need to give something first...' Alex seem to stop for a moment making Acton quick to grab his hand and place it back on his head. "More." Alex complied, letting Acton lean into him further.
Acton felt sad. Really sad. So sad that it was pathetic. He realized he actually missed his old life even with how uneventful it was. He missed the little moments of sense of achievement wherever he aced his test or got his favorite desert. He missed the small and awkward interactions with parents at the dinner table, whenever his parents would awkwardly praise him whenever he scored a perfect score on his tests. He missed when his sister forced him to listen to her rants about animes and otome games. He missed being at home.
Acton felt stupid and frustrated at his delayed reaction, sobbing into Alex uniform to muffle them.
'I don't want to be here. I don't want to be Acton Addington...'
At the end he felt empty, realizing now of his yearns and desires and how they will never truly be fulfilled. His eyes were stingy and puffy from the rush of tears, slightly dull at the numbness he felt.
It was silent for awhile, Alex continuously petting Acton head, watching over the boy to make sure he was okay. The boy felt his eyes droop, letting his body weight go on Alex's torso fully.
He decided that he didn't want to deal with these emotions, letting himself fall into the embrace of darkness.
'I want to go home.'
::
A delayed reaction huh? He knew his life wasn't perfect but since he lived it for so long he missed it. Isn't that a realistic reaction to someone who is barely living?
I think I would have a delay reaction myself. I would be excited at the thought of my new life but what about the things I lost? It may have not been much but it's still something to me. How would you react?