"No, leave me to die." I groan, rolling in Clay's bed.
He groans too, and flops in next to me. We both ate... way too much at dinner. I barely got my ass up the stairs. I hold my stomach, beyond stuffed.
"Why'd I go for thirds? I'm so fucking stupid." I grit out.
Clay laughs, grabbing at me as I try to bat him off.
"Don't even touch me right now, I swear to God." I say, groaning even louder.
Still laughing, he grabs me anyways, reeling me into his chest and holding me there, despite the way I'm writhing. I keep my fight up for only another couple seconds before I sigh and let myself relax, cheek pressed to his chest.
We stay in silence, just holding each other, until Clay breaks it. "When do you leave?" He asks.
I sigh, I've been dreading it. The sucky thing about this trip, is that it was an impulse decision, so I still have shit scheduled.
"Probably as soon as I wake up tomorrow." I sigh, "I work at noon." I say, nearly whining.
Clay pats my back soothingly. "I guess we'll have to make the best of tonight, then."
I might just be hearing things, but there's something suggestive in his tone. I pull back from his chest, and squint at his face, seeing his mouth curved into a smug smile.
"I—" I stutter. "Clay I ate so much—" I start. I don't wanna do anything like this, let alone have sex. I feel like an idiot for not thinking about that. I could've been getting laid tonight.
"Yeah? We could burn the calories with some physical activity..." Clay says, lowering his voice and grabbing my hips.
I huff a small laugh, smiling and warming, reveling in how good it feels to know he wants me. "I can't." I say, pouting. "I want to, but I can't. I'd probably puke." I say.
Clay laughs and nods, touch going softer as he leans in and kisses my neck anyways. "It's fine. I know I'm repulsive." He says.
I roll my eyes, feeling bad. "Clay—" I start again.
"I'm just teasing. It's totally fine, we can do it some other time." Clay says, and I feel myself relax. He's a good man. "Not too full for kissin'?" He asks.
"Never." I say back, leaning in to catch his lips, fighting a smile.
We kiss each other slowly, a lot more exploratory and curious than we were able to last night, knowing it isn't going to go any further. His hands soothe up and down my body, following the curve of it, like he's trying to memorize it.
"Who knew—" He says, interrupting himself to kiss me again. "I had—" Another kiss. "This—" Kiss. "Right—" Kiss. "Under my nose." He says, and pulls back to search my face.
I feel myself heat, ducking my head in embarrassment. "Well I knew." I say, with a small laugh.
I eye him curiously. "You seriously didn't know?" I ask.
I wasn't... super obvious, but I wasn't exactly discreet either. I'd always do anything with him first in a heartbeat, and would always smile and laugh around him. But, everyone does. He's a quiet type of magnetic.
"If I knew you think we'd have only just started trying this out?" Clay says, rolling his eyes. "We would've cuffed in high school."
I furrow my brow.
"You were crushing back the entire time? You're lying." I say, blinking. There's no way we're both that dense.
"I don't— I wouldn't call it crush." Clay blushes, looking to the side. "I actively made sure I didn't get a crush on you, just because I didn't want to feel like a creep."
I eye him in disbelief.
"What? It was like one of those things where it's like haha funny but if you did I would. You've had those, right?" He says.
I blink at him. "Yeah I have. I call them crushes." I say.
Clay makes an exasperated noise. "Okay but like, if you didn't like me back wouldn't it be weird for me to have liked you that whole time?" He asks.
I raise my brows. "You mean the way I thought I did?" I ask.
I like him very much but... he's doing an amazing job of digging his grave.
"No. Not like that. It's different if it was me at you instead of you at me." He says, groaning.
"Why?" I ask, pulling back.
"Because— it— the power dynamic!" Clay nearly yells.
Oh, I guess that does make sense. Clay's... 6'3" and wiry... I'm soft and... definitely shorter than that. There's nothing I could force him to do that he didn't want. Still, hearing how frustrated he's getting, I want to push him.
"Wow..." I say, shaking my head and pulling back. "So you've thought about how you could over-power me?"
Clay makes a noise of desperation, holding onto my waist. "No that's not—" He starts again.
I fight off my smile and interrupt him. "How often do you think about it?" I ask voice low, "That I'm just a weak little woman and you're a big strong man." I say. I can't fight off my smile anymore.
Clay rolls his eyes. "Fuck off." He says, sighing in relief as he realizes I'm just messing with him. "You really had me thinking that— ugh." Still, he smiles.
"Thinking what? About pinning my weak, frail, fragile, feminine arms?" I say, continuing the bit with a grin.
Clay turns toward me, rolling his tongue in his mouth. "Yes." Is all he says, before he grabs me and flips me onto my back, pinning both of my arms above my head with one hand.
I exhale, breath hitching, still grinning. I didn't expect this reaction. His hand snakes up my thigh under my dress, and he stares down at me heatedly. I start to reconsider my sex embargo for only a moment, before his hand shifts a little higher and starts to dust across my skin. He knows I'm ticklish.
"Clay please no—" I start, gritting my teeth as his hand moves expertly, tickling my stomach.
I writhe under him, kicking, shouting, and laughing as he keeps me completely pinned, torturing me.
"Clay—"
"CLAY—"
"CLAY—"
He finally stops, cackling as he drops to my side. My sides hurt from shouting and laughing, and from fighting back.
"I'm never fucking you again after that." I say, pouting, but still roll over to bury my head in his chest. "In fact I take back everything I ever said. You're ugly and I hate you."
Clay laughs. "I'm sorry. Stop fussing."
I puff my lip out but listen, closing my eyes and relaxing in his arms. I quickly bliss out, and accidentally fall asleep before I even notice.
***
I wake up with a start, and see it's daylight out.
Shit.
I passed out and wasted my last night with Clay before I have to head back to school. I pull my phone out and check the time. It's 9 am again. I really have to get up and go.
I look up see Clay's sleeping on his stomach with his face mashed into his pillow. I lift a hand to his face and run my thumb along his cheekbone. He stirs slightly, and I find myself smiling like an idiot watching his expression scrunch as he wakes up.
"Wha—?" Clay murmurs out, half-awake, squinting at me.
"I gotta get going." I say.
Clay whines and grabs for me, dragging me in to settle on his chest. "No." He says, resolute.
"Clay—" I warn, despite how pleased I feel.
"Just for a little bit." He mumbles out, and I melt.
I sigh, wrapping my arms around him and settling into his chest. "Five minutes. That's it. Then I really have to go." I say, forfeiting.
We take the five minutes in mutual silence. When I peel myself out of Clay's arms this time, he goes lax, letting me. I busy myself quickly, rushing to collect my things and jam them into my bag.
I make it all the way downstairs with my stuff completely packed before Clay appears, holding his cat again. He disappears into the kitchen, and I hear the increasingly familiar shake of food. I manage to pull my shoes on before he walks back out.
I sling my bag over my shoulder and look up at him, sure I look like a disaster. "Well... I guess I'll see ya around." I say, dragging my feet, suddenly feeling awkward.
Clay nods, leaning against a wall. There's a tension that neither of us want to break, like a feeling of dread that this will all be forgotten the second I step out the door. I press my lips together for an uncomfortable smile and head for the door. I nearly make my way out before Clay stops me, his hand landing on the doorframe by my head.
"Wait—" He says.
I turn back toward him. He steps back and pulls his hoodie off over his head then, pushes it toward me.
"Take this with you. It's supposed to be cold this week." He says, offering it to me.
It's not. It's Florida in September, so I know it's not.
I duck my head, smiling and taking the hoodie before striding up to him. I lift to my toes and press a peck to the corner of his lips. I try to lean back but he catches me, pressing in for a real kiss.
I close my eyes and moan into Clay's mouth. He deepens the kiss immediately, hands wrapping around me to hold me into place as we stumble back until we connect with the door, slamming it shut.
I lift my hands to wrap around Clay's shoulders, arching desperately as he claims me with a kiss. I can't be bothered to care that we're both unshowered and gross. The moment makes me melt, and I'm as good as liquid in his hands.
We only stop the kiss to breathe for a moment, then dive back in, tongues sliding together as our bodies meet. His leg plants between my thighs and I squeeze it, moaning into his mouth.
Clay's hands quickly become demanding, one sliding up my dress to grope my ass as he keeps me pinned to the wall. I'm tempted to just give up and let what we both want to happen, happen, but I find my resolve.
I bite his lip and pull back, slapping my hands to his chest. "I have to go. We can't." I say.
Clay immediately relaxes, touches going loose. "I know." He says soft, defeated.
I whine, pushing in to give him one more good kiss before worming my way out of his arms. I steel myself, and smile at him. This time when he nods, the tension is different. Not a question of if we'll ever meet in this context again, but of when.
I duck my head and wave, finally leaving Clay's house, stomach doing flips.
***
The drive is long, boring, somewhat bittersweet. I blast music and shout-sing it the entire time. I manage to make it to my front door by 11:07 am, just enough time to pop a quick shower and grab a snack before I work.
As I walk in my roommate Ellie's head snaps to look at me from where she sits on the couch. "And where have you been?" She asks, grinning.
I smile back predatorily. "Sucking dick and cock." I say, striding past her.
Ellie nearly screams, following. "WHAT?"
I roll my eyes. "I'll tell you later, I have work at noon and I still have to shower and eat."
Ellie pouts at that. "Fine. But you're telling me the second you get home." She says, turning back to the living room.
The rest of my small amount of time at home is a blur, I shower, get dressed halfway decent, and manage to cram a sandwich into my mouth before I leave for work with my backpack and laptop.
The good thing about my job, is that I just sit at a desk checking out packages and replacement keys for kids who live in the dorms, among other things. The bad thing about it, is that it's incredibly boring. It's encouraged to do homework in your downtime, but a lot of people will just watch Netflix and play video games, especially late at night.
This shift is noon to eight pm, so I'll probably have to do homework until at least four when my supervisor goes home. Still, I'm thankful for the opportunity to do homework. I maybe perhaps blew it all off to have the weekend I just had.
I sit down and pull out my laptop, opening the essay due tonight that I really should've started before this moment. I let myself immediately get distracted by my texts.
Clay
2 New messages
1 Attachment
'she can tell im sad :(' 11:21 am
The attachment is him in bed with Patches curled up asleep on his chest.
'god i wish that was me' 12:07 pm
His response is immediate.
'when can we hang out again? i'm free fri' 12:08 pm
'😏😏😏 thirsty ass...' 12:08 pm
'i mean maybe this weeknd ill have yo see what my homework is like' 12:08 pm
'weekend* to* why am i stupud' 12:08 pm
Ah. Shit.
'take your time' 12:08 pm
I roll my eyes.
'stupid* 😞...' 12:09 pm
'another adoring fan gets nervous around me' 12:09 pm
'it's ok sweetie do you want my autograph on your titties or your toes?' 12:09 pm
I have to hold back a laugh. I look up a picture of a man's foot and send it to him.
1 Attachment
'toes daddy 🤩' 12:10 pm
'dont send toes im gonna nut' 12:10 pm
'also don't call me daddy.' 12:10 pm
I smile to myself.
'why daddy?' 12:11 pm
'daddy please i've been a good girl 😏' 12:11 pm
'Stop.' 12:11 pm
Ooh, a one worder.
'oh no did i make daddy angry... is he gonna punish me...' 12:12 pm
I know we're just joking around, but I can feel my face starting to heat. There's something magical about teasing him like this. I read his next message and nearly shout-laugh.
'Get on discord kitten... daddy's going to punish you.' 12:12 pm
'*tips fedora* *starts dry humping you*' 12:12 pm
'STOP STOP STOP STOP ALFJSKFJAKJFKAJF' 12:12 pm
Well, that mood is gone. Still, I'll play along, I go into his contact and change his name from 'Clay' to 'Daddy Dream'. I screenshot the change and send it to him.
1 Attachment
🤭 12:13 pm
I get nervous when I don't immediately get something back. After what feels like forever my phone buzzes.
I check.
1 Attachment
'i'm sorry i cant be him' 12:20 pm
It's a green screen TikTok of Clay standing in front of a screenshot of my text with the Heart On Ice audio. He turns and pretends to beat the shit out of the words. The photo switches and it's of his Minecraft skin, and he pretends to fist fight it.
I nearly yell it's so stupid. My entire face is flush with embarrassment and joy. Once I've collected myself I text back.
'i want to ride his bald head' 12:22 pm
'im sorry ur a 3 and he's a 10 😜' 12:22 pm
As soon as I send the last text, someone walks up to the desk and I have to settle myself so I can actually do my job. By the time I wrap it up I've calmed down. I check his response.
'i cannot believe im being beat by his baldi's basics looking ass' 12:23 pm
'whatever as long as you still let me hit ;)' 12:25 pm
I roll my eyes.
'we'll see' 12:31 pm
'if ur a good boy you might get a crumb of coochie' 12:31 pm
As soon as I send it another person walks up and I realize package pick-up e-mails must've just sent out. It's about to get busy.
***
I get home and slam myself down on the couch next to Ellie. Clay and I texted a few more times, but nothing of significance beyond teasing. I was mostly pre-occupied with actually doing my work, until I realized I only had a little bit of time left to work on my paper. I ended up super busy, and my paper still isn't done, despite the fact that it's due at midnight.
I groan, and plop my head on Ellie's shoulder, deciding to watch whatever dumb cooking show she's watching this time with her. She lifts her hand and pats my head.
"I feel like given the chance? I'd punch Bobby Flay square in the fucking jaw." Ellie says.
I hum, nodding in agreement. "His face is punchable." I say, then snort a laugh.
Ellie sighs, relaxing against me. "So? I was promised details." She says, never looking away from the T.V.
I purse my lips. "You remember my friend Clay from spring break?" I ask.
She hums, "The tall guy? With the game obsession?" She asks.
I nod, smiling. "Yeah that one."
I love Ellie dearly, but she's very stereotypically ignorant of all things video games. Though, it comes at the distinct advantage that she's never even heard of Dream Team, and has barely heard of Minecraft. The Yin to my Yang.
She eyes me. "Were you not already fucking him?"
I nearly shout. "No— why— did you think that I was?"
Ellie raises her brows and turns back to the screen. "I mean it seemed pretty obvious to me that you were both into each other." She hm's and her mouth drops open, "That's the wrong spice you absolute baboon!" She shouts at the T.V.
I duck my head, feeling embarrassed. Maybe Clay and I are just stupid.
Ellie continues before I can think of something to say to defend myself. "So what? You're dating him now?"
I sigh. "Nope..." I say popping the 'p'. "Just fucking. And talking."
"Oh?" Ellie says, turning her attention fully to me. "Is that what you want?" She asks.
I think for a moment. I didn't really... consider what I wanted. "I mean... no. I think I want to date him, but, he has a lot on his plate right now, so I understand why he wants to feel things out first." I say, hesitant.
"Isn't this the guy you've known since y'all were kids?" Ellie asks, raising her brows.
I nod.
"I think that's been plenty of time feeling things out, then." She says.
I blink, at a loss for words because I know she's right. Still, I need to defend something so I don't just feel like an idiot.
"Well... I mean... he just got out of a relationship and then there's the distance on top of that..." I say, floundering.
Ellie fixes me with a piercing look. "I dunno." I say, defeated.
Suddenly she goes soft, pulling me into a hug. "If you're okay with how things currently are, just stick it out then. Especially if you think you have a good shot at being happy, I'll support you." She says.
I melt at the reassurance. She's already helped a lot with letting me see more clearly what I want out of this.
"But... if he gets annoying... let me know. I'll punch him in the face." She says, and I snort out a laugh, mood lightening.
"Yeah, yeah." I say batting her off.
I kick to my feet, grabbing my bag. "Try not to scream at the show too much, I have a paper to write." I say.
"Nyeh, I have a paper to write, nyeh nyeh nyeh." Ellie says, mocking me, but turns the volume down.
I roll my eyes and walk to my room, chewing my thumb as I sit down at my desktop and get ready to work on my paper. I decide I'll check my phone just one more time before I focus. I see I missed some texts from awhile ago.
Daddy Dream
3 New Messages
'im literally so stupid i just remembered' 7:23 pm
'i cant do this weekend i have MC championships shit going on' 7:24 pm
'how about the weekend after?' 7:24 pm
I feel disappointment settle in my chest. See, the distance is a valid reason that we have to be careful navigating this.
'i'm not sure but i'll try my best to be free' 8:37 pm
'also good luck!! 😘' 8:37 pm
I close my phone and ignore the immediate buzz. I have 3 pages to write and 3 hours to do it. It's time to focus, despite how much I want not to.