Don't be so blind. Time is not on our side. Look me straight in the eyes. Do not say you will be alright.
«Ghost In The Mirror» Memphis May Fire
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"Who was known as the 'Angel of Death' and why?" I read out loud to R. We have our exam on the Holocaust in History next and are going over the study guide our teacher handed out one last time on our way to class.
"Josef Mengele because... uh... he was the one with the twin thing, right?"
"Yes," I answer and read off the correct response, "because he would torture and perform experiments on Jewish children in the extermination camps. And yes, he was the dude with the twin thing. What did he do with twins?"
"He would do different tests and see things like if they bleached one twin's eyes would the other go blind, or torture one to see if the other would feel pain."
"Correct," I say.
"Okay. I think I'm actually ready for this test, believe it or not," she happily chirps.
"I'm glad," I laugh as we walk into our history class.
"Morning Miss Gavich," R and I both greet.
"Good morning! Are you ready for your torture test?" She smiles big and wide. She's joking--well, kinda--but we laugh along. She has a dry--and morbid--sense of humor that honestly makes her my favorite teacher ever. Although we aren't allowed to go home and tell our parents about her Hitler jokes, because apparently she's gotten in trouble for those before.
"Yeah... Me and Hitler may as well be BFFs at this point," I chuckle.
"Yeah, well hey! I hear he has a great spa! His steam rooms are world famous for taking the tension right out of ya!" she laughs and I join in.
"Oh, I'll have to make him show me at our next slumber party!"
"Just remember--don't drop the soap," she mock scolds and I burst out laughing.
"We're awful people, aren't we?" I chuckle.
"Yeah, but it makes life so much more entertaining!"
"Very true," I say.
"Ahhh... yeah, I'm goin' to hell," she chuckles under her breath. I shake my head and move to my seat towards the back of the class with R right behind me. I drop my bag on the ground and plop down in my seat before looking for a pencil in my collection of junk.
"I swear, I was so organized a few months ago," I laugh.
"Meh, I gave up on that years ago," R chuckles back.
A few minutes later, I have my pencil and study guide resting open on my desk as the bell rings for the beginning of class. I huff and put the packet back in my bag.
"Okay, you have the rest of the period to finish the test. When you're done... well I don't give a crap what you do, as long as you are silent," Miss Gavich announces as she passes out our tests. I chuckle and take my paper from the person in front of me. I write my name and date on the top of the page before beginning on the first question and making my way through the packet.
1. The Final Solution refers to
c. the plan for the systematic extermination of Jews
33. The name for the so-called 'perfect race' was
a. Aryan
57. How many were killed in the Holocaust?
b. about eleven million
81. What is another term for Krystallnacht?
d. Night of Broken Glass
105. Who is the author of 'Night'?
a. Ellie Wiesel
149. What concentration camp was Anne Frank sent to and where she ended up dying?
c. Auschwitz
162. What cyanide-based pesticide was used in the gas chambers?
d. Zyklon B
186. What was Schutzstaffel (SS)?
b. an elite military unit of the Naziparty that served as Hitler's bodyguard and as a special police force
200. What would Miss Gavich name her pet yorkie?
a. Minion
After I finish the last question, I put my pencil down and walk my test to the front of the class and hand it to Miss Gavich.
"How did you do?" she asks.
"Well... I know I got two-hundred right!" I joke and she darkly chuckles.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go sit down, minion."
I laugh as I walk back to my seat, pulling out The Outsiders. I only have a few chapters left and have already balled my eyes out a number of times. I even memorized Robert Frost's poem Nothing Gold Can Stay after reading the part where Johnny dies. I repeated it over in my mind with his last words to Ponyboy ringing in my ears through the tears.
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Johnny always thought Ponyboy was better than the rest of the hoodlums. He was good and pure--he was gold. He wanted him to hold onto that to separate him from the others. That alone was enough to make me tear up simply due to the fact that Ponyboy always thought Johnny was so much better than him--or anyone, for that matter. He thought he was innocent and sweet and caring and always put others first--especially Ponyboy. And then he basically proves that with the words he chooses to be his last words on earth.
Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.
Those five words had me in a fit of tears. Even in death, Johnny was so innocent. He still believed that good can remain. He still thought this world would spare even a few of its treasures. After all he went through, how could he still believe that there is even a possibility for something gold to never tarnish? The world doesn't spare goodness--it rips it to shreds and leaves us the pieces to hold onto. The pieces are where the good comes from. They are small, but somehow we have convinced ourselves that it is enough to make this world a beautiful place. We ignore the fact that the only goodness has already been torn apart.
Even Ponyboy succumbs to this sheltered view. I highlighted the quote a few chapters back,
Dally was so real he scared me.
Ponyboy views Soda or Darry as the real-life heroes. He is comfortable with them. They are good. Dally is hard and mean, so it scares him that that is what a hero in the real world can be. A hero can be scary and flawed and so unlike the heroes he reads about in his books. Because if a hero can be so hardened, what in this world can't?
How sad is it to think that the human race is so blind and willing to believe that the world is a wonderful place because accepting the reality is too much to bare? We are all living in a fantasy where gold can remain. Robert Frost seems to be of the few who see the shadowed truth; nothing gold can stay.
I'm in the middle of highlighting a part where Ponyboy accepts the ride home from a man when the bell rings and students begin scrambling to finish the last few questions and turn in their tests. I put my book back in my bag and sling it over my shoulder before walking over to R.
"Ready for lunch?" she asks as I come up behind her.
"Yeah. Are you gonna help me with that... thing?" I ask.
"Oh, right," she chuckles. "Well, the thing is... I told Luke I would help him with his Chemistry homework..."
I give her a weird look. "You don't do Chemistry homework."
She shrugs. "I did this assignment."
"Uh huh..." I mumble. "All because you wanted to 'help' Luke with his?"
She smirks. "I have a system, you know."
I huff a laugh. "Yeah. I've seen your system."
"It really does work wonders," she jokes while completely serious.
"Okay, whatever you say. Then I'm gonna go. I still have to grab the stuff from my locker," I laugh and begin to back away towards the door.
"Have fun!" she sings and I turn out into the hallway.
"Hey! Andi, wait up!" I hear a familiar voice call from behind me. I turn around to see Mikey walking out the same door I just came from, chasing after me.
"Hey, what's up?" I chirp as he falls into step with me.
"Well, uh..." he starts, but seems to stutter on his words with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
"You okay there?" I chuckle at him.
His face seems to twist up in confusion and he looks lost, but keeps his gaze on the floor in front of him.
"Well, yeah. I just... I mean..." he goes on. I give him a few seconds to put his thoughts together before I get impatient and cut his rambling short.
"Hey, while you figure out whatever is going on in that firetruck head of yours, wanna help me with something?" I perk up.
He seems taken aback and uncomfortable but pulls himself together enough to respond, "Sure, I guess."
"Perfect!" I chirp as we walk up to my locker. I twist in my combination and open the metal door.
"So what exactly are we doing?" Mikey asks, speaking slowly.
I chuckle and grab the bottles of glue and roll of duct tape. I quickly stuff them in my bag before anyone can see.
"Just a little... well I suppose you would call it payback?" I giggle.
"What sort of payback?"
"Mrs. Rylen made me clean her figurine collection, remember?"
"Yeah..." he chuckles, seeming to be loosening up a bit.
"Well, I don't like that. So while she goes to a business lunch with the principal, we are gonna make a little mess of our own for her to clean up."
He gives me a wary look before a sly smile creeps up his lips.
"I'm in."
I smile deviously back at him.
"Let's go then."
I zip up my backpack and throw it over my shoulder before we rush off through the halls. Once we reach Mrs. Rylen's room, the halls are empty. We quietly creep through the door and close it behind us. I waste no time in stalking over to her desk and pulling out my supplies.
"So what exactly are we doing?" Michael chuckles as I unscrew the glue bottle.
"You see this stack of books?" I ask and nod my head towards the pile of various textbooks and workbooks off to the side of her desk. "We are gonna glue them to each other and then wrap tape around the whole thing. I'd like to see her clean that up with a q-tip," I laugh.
"Brilliant and random," Mike laughs with me.
"Yep. Now bring it over here."
He walks over and carries the stack before placing it on the desk in front of me. I smirk and take off the top four books, leaving the bottom facing up at me.
"This is gonna be fun," I mumble with a smile and pour a big blob of glue in the middle of the textbook. I start smearing it around until the entire cover is covered in white. I pick up the next book and stick it on top, giving it a second to settle before repeating the process.
Once all five books have glue dripping off the sides, I start fanning the stack with a folder. The glue only needs to dry a bit so it will stick, so I finish quickly and pick up the silver roll of duct tape. I pull a big strip and the sound of the tape rippling is music to my ears. I ask Michael to hold it up before wrapping around the block over and over again. I cut the piece and move to wrap it in the other direction. I don't stop until the entire roll is gone and I'm left with a cardboard tube.
"Not bad," I say as I step back to admire my work.
"I would love to see her face when she finds this," he laughs, standing back with me.
I let out a sigh of contentment before bending down and picking up my bag once again.
"Yep. Now let's get out of here," I say. He nods and starts following me out of the room. I stick my head out into the hallway to make sure no one is coming. Once I decide the coast is clear, I motion for Michael to follow and step through the doorway. I carefully close the door behind us and start walking casually down the hall.
"Well that was fun," Michael says after we are only a few steps from the door.
"It'll be even more fun when she gives us a lecture about it tomorrow," I giggle.
"That doesn't sound fun," Michael cringes.
"But think how we can just sit there and watch her get all flustered and angry about something we did. It's like watching your masterpiece be appreciated exactly how you intended."
"I suppose so," Mike chuckles.
"How long until class starts?" I ask before pulling out my phone to check the time. "We have like three minutes. Okay, well my class is on the other side of campus, so I'm just gonna head over there."
"'Kay. Have fun," Mike chuckles.
"Oh yeah, it'll be a great time."
"Goodbye," he drags out and my smile falters a bit before I can pick it up again.
"Don't say goodbye," I mumble under my breath, but he seems to hear me.
"What?" he asks, stopping in his place. I slow to a stop and turn back to face him and sigh.
"Don't say goodbye. Goodbye means leaving. It's final. It's not coming back. Goodbye is for ends," I mumble, but shrug it off.
Michael's eyes fill with compassion for a moment, even though I don't understand why.
"I'm sorry," he says softly.
"It's just a thing I have with the word. No reason to be upset about," I chuckle.
"Yeah, sure," Michael responds and I can see him trying to force his smile to look more genuine. What's his deal? I've always had a thing with goodbye. I don't know why he seems all sad.
"Okay..." I say, deciding to just be done with this conversation. "Well, I'm gonna go to class."
"Okay. See ya later," he says with a bit of a brighter expression. I turn and walk away very confused with Michael's moods today.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! well three days ago but whatever XD 17!!! OH and Maddy_98 TOO!!!
**REAL QUICK** keep in mind i'm from America and idk what you people in Aussie do but i'm in American Studies this year and pretty sure you guys don't take that so i'm going with world history i guess but i took that freshman year so and took holocaust sophomore year so its a little more fresh in my mind... and i have a legit teacher like this so that makes it stick around a bit more in my brain XDXDXD just a warning ***AMERICAN***
Sorry if the last half is kinda iffy i was half asleep writing it but i just wanted to have it finished!!! THANKS!!! XDXDXD