"Don't you think she's suffered enough here? Maybe we should bring her home with us?"
"No... She has people that love her here. A future."
The voices... They sound so familiar... Dad? Gran? Opening my eyes I see the smiling faces of 2 of the most precious people to me. They look so young and healthy... And they're shining, like they are lit up from the inside.
"Dad? Is that you?" The first tear drops from my eye as he turns his electric smile at me. "Sophia!"
I'm really losing it... Or I'm dead...
"You're not dead Sophia." That musical voice of my Gran hasn't changed. It sounds brighter somehow, and I turn to her smiling face. "Can you hear my thoughts now Gran?"
They both smile, and share a laugh. "Oh my beautiful granddaughter... I've always known what you're thinking?"
"How are you here? I've missed you so much!!"
"Oh my baby... I've missed you too. We came because you need us. We're always with you though."
Tears are pouring from my eyes, and I feel like I am cracking up. I'm suddenly so ashamed of myself for what I've done, and can't imagine they are proud of my decisions. I must be such a disappointment to them.
"You don't disappoint us granddaughter. You have been brave your whole life, and endured far more than your share. We understand why you did this to yourself, but we're here to remind you that it isn't your time. Your daughter needs you... And Jungkook... He needs you too."
"No they don't... They have Aera. Jungkook doesn't love me anymore..."
"Daughter... You KNOW that isn't true. I know your heart tells you the truth. Listen to it carefully... Now, it's time to wake up."
"This wasn't real? It's a dream?"
"No. It's real... But we can only visit when you're sleeping. But we are not a dream my beautiful daughter."
"I miss you both so much... Please... Don't leave me..."
"We never leave you alone. You know we're always here with you..."
I felt my grandmother's warm hand over my heart and my whole body trembled. I felt her love for me and I knew that she was with me. I watch as they disappear like smoke in the air. I continue sobbing, holding my hand over my heart to try to hold onto the feeling of my Gran...
~~~~~~~~~~
Opening my eyes, I look and see Jungkook looking so sad, tired, but beautiful. There is a rainbow falling across his face, and I feel my Dad is doing that on purpose. I can't help the tear that runs down my face, and I move to wipe it away. As soon as he notices my movement, he sits up to look at me. I feel vulnerable under his gaze, and look away.
"hey" his voice is soft and hoarse, but I can't find my own at the moment. I know he wants me to talk to him, but I don't know what to say.
"Will you not look at me, Love?"
I turn to him, and I see his pain and fear. But I'm hurting more than I thought because I can't continue to look at him. I look away letting my tears go. I fiddle my fingers and focus on them while I hear him moving a little. He doesn't come closer, just leans back onto the wall... I can't even decide if I want him to move closer to me.
The picture of him in bed with Aera flashes in my mind and I clutch my heart, trying to feel my Gran's warmth and strength. The words he said to me, the cold look on his eyes, it all plays like an awful scene I can't escape from... I roll away and show him my back. I don't have the strength to see him right now.
"please... don't shut me out... i... i know that i don't deserve you... but..."
"Leave Jungkook!" I honestly don't know where the words came from, but I can't stand it right now... My heart is aching and I don't think I can listen to him tell me that he is with Aera, so he needs to go. I know he doesn't want me to die, and he's feeling guilty, but I don't have the strength for this...
"i... please love... let me tell you" "NO! And don't dare call me by that anymore. Not after what you have done. Now, please go."
I heard a sniffle, and the chair move as he got up. I hate everything right now.. Most of all, I hate that I wish I was dead... How can I survive when he doesn't love me anymore? My Gran was wrong... I'm not strong. The sob escapes my lips before I can stop it. I feel his hand on my shoulder and he pulls me gently to lay on my back. I close my eyes to not see his face. I can't do it..
"just let me go jungkook... be happy..."
His hands on my cheeks, thumbs wiping my tears feels so familiar... "Don't give up Sophia..." I hear his pain, and I feel guilty, but anger comes close behind it. "Why do you care? Just leave me alone... I don't want your pity... GO!"
I felt him flinch at my loud command, but he released my face. "I know you hate me right now... But please don't hurt yourself anymore. I can't stand it..." I scoff at his words...
"you might have thought of that before you took my heart and shattered it..." I whispered to his retreating form. He freezes at the door, turning to show me his tear stained face. "I am truly sorry Sophia... I wish you could have..." "GET OUT!!"
-
Taehyung
"GET OUT!!"
I hear her shout as I'm approaching her door. A second later, a broken looking Jungkook walks out and collapses to his knees. I don't know what to do because I am so angry at him. I hate to see him like this though, and the years of friendship we've shared take over. I go to him and grab him, pulling him into a hug. I feel him shake and my shoulder is wet from his tears.
"Give her time Jungkook..." I don't know why I'm even trying to encourage him, but I know he loves her. "She hates me Hyung... What did I do?" I have no answer for him, so I just hold him. After some time, he calms a little, letting go from our embrace.
"I'm sorry Hyung..." I look at what he's talking about, and he's pointing at the large wet area on my shirt. I smile at him and pat his head. "It's alright Jungkook... Sometimes you just have to let it out... Right?" He nods at me and turns to walk away. "Jungkook?"
Stopping his steps, he doesn't turn, but waits. "She'll come around... She loves you." His head hangs and he shoves his hands in his pockets while he walks away. I hear him say "I don't know if it's enough anymore..." as he turns the corner. I feel sorry for him... I still don't understand why he did all this.
I turn to enter the room, but pause hearing her pained cries. It hurts me that she is broken like this. I take a deep breath and push the door open. I see her curled into a ball and crying as hard as the other night. I rush to her side, sitting on the edge of the bed and bringing her into my arms. "Shhhhh.... Breathe Sophia... Shhhh..." I run my fingers through her hair and try to calm her.
"I don't know what to do Tae..." I hear her whimpering and she's trembling. "You don't have to decide anything right now." I feel her arms slide around my waist and she cuddles into my chest. My heart is pounding at her innocent action, and I have to remind myself she loves Jungkook.
"Sophia-ah... Have you eaten anything today?" She shakes her head, and I lift her chin with my fingers to look into her teary eyes. "Please... Let's get some food. You need to eat. I'll go pick it up, whatever you want." I see her eyes shift away, but she doesn't answer. I remember years ago, she would refuse food for days, and collapse from how weak she became. They used the feeding tube to keep her alive, until her therapy helped her. I hope she's not going back to that...
"I'd like a bit of bulgogi..." I smile really big and squeeze her small figure. I reach for my phone and text Jin hyung to deliver some for us. He responds immediately that he'll have it here in less than 30 minutes.
"Jin hyung is going to bring you the bulgogi. I'm sure he'll bring other things too... You know Hyung." She chuckles, and nods. I feel a good knowing that I could make her smile, even for a minute. "Thank you Taehyung." I just keep holding her and carding my fingers through her hair.
When the food arrives, Jin comes in, bigger than life and almost yells at us. "Someone order bulgogi?!?" We both startle because we're almost cuddling. "Oooo... Did I interrupt something?" I watch Sophia blush a crimson color, and I feel my ears heat up. I wonder if he thinks something is going on.
"N-no... T-Tae was just c-comforting me." Jin looks at me with a raised eyebrow, but I ignore him. I grab the bags he brought and start unpacking the food. "Look! I told you Jin hyung would bring more than the bulgogi. There's soup... Japchae... And he even brought you some cheesecake!"
"Yah!! You think I would only bring the bulgogi?" Sophia giggles at him, and he takes a seat next to her. "How are you doing Sophia-ah?" I watch her look everywhere but his face, but he didn't really expect her to answer. "I hope you enjoy it. It's some of the dishes I taught to Jungkook the other day."
At the mention of his name, her smile falls, and her eyes get glassy. "Hyung... Why did you say that?" Jin looks genuinely confused. "What? I'm not allowed to say what I think anymore?" Sophia puts her hand on my arm, and nibbles her lip, looking deep in thought. "You can say whatever you want Jin. I thank you for teaching him these dishes. I never got to try them though. If they're your recipes, I'm sure they were tasty."
Jin looks into her eyes, seeing she's upset, and hugs her to his chest. "He was so proud of himself that he made all of it... I don't know what happened, but he wanted to have a special dinner with you." Sophia tenses hearing Hyung's words, but just looks at him again. "He must have enjoyed them with Aera then. I guess you were mistaken about him making it for me." A single tear drops from her eye, but she wipes it away quickly.
"Hand me a plate of this glorious smelling food please. It's making me really hungry." Jin looks at me and I can tell he's quite perplexed. I just shrug my shoulder because it's not my place to say anything. "I hope you like it Sophia... I'm sorry if I upset you..." She looks back at Jin, and chews her food thinking what to say to him.
"I'm alright Jin. You didn't do anything wrong. Thank you for the food." Hyung grins, but then asks me to give him a few minutes with Sophia. I step out, and wait in the hallway. Hopefully he isn't going to upset her too much. I know he means well, and that this Hyung has a soft spot for Jungkook, so he's probably trying to understand what happened. I'm torn about how to feel... I want Sophia, and even Jungkook, to be happy... But maybe it's time they stop hurting each other... Maybe it's time they try to live without each other... Maybe...
Maybe it's my chance to make her happy.
-
Jin
"Tell me if it's none of my business Sophia... But what happened?"
I watch her closely, and see her eyes get teary. She eats another bite of food, but when she's swallowed, she just looks away. "Sophia-ah... Please talk to this old man." I get a giggle from that and I smile to her.
"He said that he doesn't love me anymore... He told me that he hasn't in a while..."
"BULLSHIT!" I almost screamed it because I'm pissed. Sophia jumps and I put my hand on her arm. " I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to yell. I just know that isn't true..."
"It's exactly what he told me when he kicked me out..." I see the tears stream from her eyes, and I can feel her frustration and heartbreak. Pulling her into a hug, she drops her chopsticks and clutches my shirt letting herself cry.
"I don't know why he said those things to you Sophia-ah... He loves you so much... I'm positive of that." I try to soothe her, but she's sobbing now. I feel guilty that I caused her to be in this state when she suddenly pushes me back and jumps from the bed. I watch her wobble to the bathroom and throw up the food she just ate. I go to help her by holding her hair and rubbing her back.
"I'm sorry... I should mind my own business... Please forgive me..." She collapses a little after her stomach is empty. "It's alright Jin. I know you mean well... I just don't know what to believe anymore..."
Helping her back to bed I sit and hold her hands. "I've known Jungkook for a long time Sophia... I've never seen him in love before you came along. He had one relationship before you, and the girl was awful. She used him for sex and money... Listen when I say that the day he met you, his whole world changed. Every breath he took, was for you after that. I know it seems like he meant those things, and I'm sorry he even said them... But I am as certain about this as I'm sitting here right now, that he still loves you... Please don't give up on your love."
"I can't handle being hurt again Jin... What he did... He said... It hurt me so much..." Her tears are flowing, but she is looking into my eyes, and I see a spark of hope in them. "You know... You left because you thought it was best in order not to hurt him, right?" Her eyes widen, but I continue... "He was hurt though... He was lost without you... Maybe he did and said these things trying to protect you, or hurt you less... I think you both suck at trying to protect each other... But just give him a chance to explain... If you're not satisfied, then end it so you guys stop hurting..."
"You think he did this to protect me? From what Jin? I saw him... in bed with Aera... He didn't even stop... when he knew I was there... How could he... do that?!?" She cried and sobbed all this out.
"I don't know the answers... And I'm going to kick his ass you can count on it... But pleeeaaase talk with him... I want you both to be happy. Just ask him for answers..."
She nods, and wipes her face with her cute little hands. "I will... If he wants to explain... I'll listen. I just couldn't this morning... I told him to leave before... He probably won't come back... I wasn't very nice."
"Oh, Sophia... He'll be back... I won't be surprised if he's still in the hospital somewhere..." I stand and hug her tightly. I hold her like this until Taehyung appears again. She smiles at me and thanks me for the food again. I take my leave, but pause at the door looking back at her and Tae. He likes her, that's clear. He can't possibly believe that he has a shot, right?
Oh, Taehyung... Protect your heart my friend
-
Jungkook
What have I done? I just want to explain everything, and tell her that I love her... I should have never gone along with what Aera wanted... But what choice did I have? That man... The one my love seemed to know... He was following her, with a gun... I don't know how to fix anything now.
I take a seat in the arboretum at the hospital, trying to clear my head. I should leave here and fix things, but I can't bring myself to go too far. She doesn't want to see me, but I need to be nearby... A hand lands firmly on my shoulder making me jump, and I turn to see the stern face of Jin hyung.
"What did you do Jungkook?" He sits on the bench next to me, looking at me with a disappointment I feel straight to my soul. I let out a long sigh and find my voice. "Hyung? I... I screwed up..."
"I know that much Jungkook... Now tell me why!"
"Please Hyung... Not so loud..." He glares at me but doesn't argue. "Sorry Hyung... I just haven't slept much, and my headache is fierce..."
"I'd like to say that I care Jungkook... But right now I'm so mad at you, and think you need to suffer a little... I'm still waiting to hear why you did this to her. I know you love her, so why did you tell her that you don't?"
I can't meet his eyes, but I sit straighter and begin telling him what happened that night. "WAIT! Wait wait wait... You actually had sex with Aera?"
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. "No Hyung... I couldn't. I couldn't get hard." Even though I'm relieved for this, it's still embarrassing... I feel my face burning while Jin hyung is staring at me.
"So... You didn't actually cheat... It was an act... At least there's that... Continue.."
"Hyung... I don't think Sophia is going to forgive me. She is really hurt, and I understand. I couldn't let Aera kill her though... She had someone with a gun following her. She showed me a video from the man's view, and he had a gun pointed at her. Sophia even knew him... Jackson... I think that's what she called him. There was also a woman following Olivia and my mother. I had no choice... I couldn't let them get hurt.."
I began crying, and couldn't get myself together. Jin hyung put an arm around me, pulling me into a side hug. "Tell Sophia this Jungkook. She deserves the truth." I nod, but remember how angry she was just a few hours ago.
"I don't know if she'll even speak to me Hyung. I tried earlier, but she threw me out. I don't blame her though."
"Well, I spoke to her not long ago. She will listen to you. She's just really hurt Jungkook. You know that she has lost everyone she's ever loved... She believed your act, and thinks she's lost you too... You have to clear it up before she..."
"Before she what Hyung?" I see him looking down, and know he's not telling me something.
"Jungkook... You're not the only man who cares for her. You know well that if you don't clear things up with her, and she loses hope, she may find comfort in another... And that may lead to more. Just... If you love her, you need to speak to her... Today!"
My eyes widen at Hyung's words, and I stand up abruptly. I'm suddenly afraid that she may leave me for someone else. "Thank you Hyung... I will go now."
"Good luck Jungkook-ah!"
I almost run back to the elevator, feeling impatient to fix what I broke. I hope she will listen... I hope she will believe me... Tapping my feet impatiently, I watch the numbers above the elevator door, willing it to come faster. After what seems like forever, the door finally slides open and people pile out. I restrain myself from pushing people out of the way, and get in as soon as I can. Pressing her floor button repeatedly, the door finally slides shut.
Rushing towards her room, I pause when I am outside. Trying to calm my breathing, and my erratic heart, I push open the door. The sight in front of me stabs my soul. Taehyung is holding her face and kissing my love... I back away, trying not to make noise, but hit my shoe on door frame causing them to pull away from each other. The tears that slip from my eyes are many, but I turn to leave.
"Jungkook... Wait..." Her beautiful voice calls me, and I stop moving. I want to run away, but can't seem to move because she called to me. I turn and hear them whispering, but not the words they're sharing. Taehyung hyung stands from her bed and walks past me, bumping my shoulder hard. My head is still hanging, but I stand on my spot. I hear her release a loud sigh before she speaks.
"Jungkook... come sit down."
I raise my head and look at her beautiful face. The bandage on her cheek where she did damage to herself makes my stomach twist. I walk slowly to stand by her bed, not able to look in her eyes. My fingers are fiddling with the hem of my t-shirt, and I wait for her to say something.
"Sit down... P-please." I look at the bed, and then the chair, not knowing what to do. I want to sit where Taehyung was moments ago, but maybe she won't want me that close... I am so lost in my head that I can't make a decision. I feel like an electric current runs up my arm when she gently takes my wrist and pulls me towards the bed. Sighing in relief, I sit and take her hand intertwining our fingers.
I stare at how our hands look together, and then I feel her little hand cup my cheek making me shoot my head up. Her thumb is wiping the tears I didn't realize I was shedding still. "why are you crying?" She whispers, but I hear her loud and clear. I don't answer because I don't want her to tell me that what I fear is true.
"Sophia-ah... I'm so sorry... I know you think I meant those things I said... It's not true... It was all lies... Please forgive me." I beg her with my head hanging in shame for the pain I caused her. Her small hand squeezes mine and I look up into her teary green orbs. They still look beautiful... Like watery emeralds...
"why would you do that?"
"I didn't want anything to happen to you, or Olivia... I was afraid. Please believe that I only love you... "
"How can I believe you didn't cheat Jungkook? I saw..."
"Please... Let me explain... I didn't have sex with her. I know it looked like that... But I didn't... I couldn't..."
"i still don't understand... why did you tell me to leave? why tell me you don't love me?"
"She had a video of someone following both you, and Olivia, with guns... I tried to refuse her, and she called him and said to kill you... I couldn't lose either of you... Please... Love... I..." I couldn't continue because my tears were choking me now. What if she can't forgive me?
"Shhhhh..." Her arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me towards her. I bury my head in the crook of her neck letting my tears flow. "I'm so sorry Sophia... I never meant to hurt you... I love you so much..." I feel her hand run through my hair, while the other rubs my back. We stay like this for a while and I finally stop crying.
"I know that you probably don't want me anymore... But I needed you to know the truth... I'm so sorry." I try to move away, knowing that she is probably going to tell me that she wants to try things with Taehyung hyung.
"Wait... Jungkook-ah... I... I'm sorry too."
I look into her eyes, and see nothing but love shining back at me. "I know you saw Taehyung kiss me... I... I don't want you to think it's more than it was. I care about him Jungkook... But I don't feel the same way he does... I'm sorry. I should have never let him kiss me..."
Relief is all I feel... It swims into my body, relaxing me in a way I haven't been in forever. I sit back onto the bed, looking at her, trying to find a solution to the mess I've made. "Will you ever be able to forgive me Sophia?" Her eyes shimmer with tears she doesn't let fall, but she nods her head.
"I will forgive you... But what now? What about Aera?"
Hearing the question I get tense... The truth is that I don't know. My Father is supposed to try to talk with Kang Daeshim, but if he can't, or won't do anything... "I don't know... I am afraid she may still try to hurt you or Olivia..."
"I can take Olivia and go"
"NO! Don't leave... I'll find a way... Please don't go away."
"Ok... If you let me help you, I'll stay. We have to do this together from now on... I feel lost without you..."
I connect our foreheads, looking into her eyes. "I promise... Together from now on... No more secrets..."
My heart sings when she smiles at me, nodding her head. "No more secrets."
Joining our lips, I pull her closer to me to show her how I feel. She responds to me immediately, her hands going into my hair, our tongues tangling together. Tilting my head to the side, I deepen the kiss getting a soft moan from her. When oxygen becomes necessary, I seperate our mouths. Panting, I keep our heads connected. "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
-
Taehyung
I took my shot... I told her how I feel, confessing my love for her. She looked stunned, but sad at the same time. Without giving her time to speak, I cupped her face and kissed her. She didn't respond at first, but after a few seconds she kissed me back. I was about to deepen the kiss when we heard a noise from the doorway. She pulled back and looked while I turned also. Jungkook was trying to leave... He'd seen me kissing her.
I can't lie and say that I wasn't satisfied. He deserves to feel pain for what he did to her. Sophia didn't let him go though. She called to him to wait a minute. Leaning in to me she whispered that she needs to speak to him alone. I tell her I understand and that I'll be outside if she needs me.
Waiting, I stand near the door, and listen to their quiet voices. I can't help but be curious, and a little concerned. I shouldn't eavesdrop, but what if she is crying again because of him... I crack the door and my heart breaks... They're kissing and then he says that he loves her. Her response makes me feel defeated because she says that she loves him also... My eyes prickle with unshed tears, but I turn and walk away quickly.
As I turn the corner, strong arms grab me and pull me into a hug. I grab his waist, letting him comfort me. "How did you know Hyung?" He just squeezes me tighter before saying the truth. "Of course I knew... I'm not so blind Taehyungie... I might be old, but I know you very well. I'm sorry..."
"I hate it Jin hyung... Why can't I ever be enough?"
"You are enough... She's just not for you. She's his soulmate... Haven't you realized that?"
"Then why did he hurt her so much?" I'm frustrated now, and I want to go back and punch him again.
"He had his reasons, and we don't understand what he was going through... But it's for her to decide if she'll forgive him. Right?"
"Yes... She already did Hyung."
He hugs me again knowing that I'm hurt. "Let's go then... I'll buy the first round. We can call the others too. It's been too long... Come on!"
He pulls me after him, and I surrender to his request. Maybe a few drinks with my friends is exactly what I need.
_________________________________________
How is everyone? I hope this chapter finds you well.
Thanks for reading.
Vote, comment, and share if you liked it!
STAY SAFE!!
STAY HEALTHY!!
WEAR A MASK!!
-
-
-
-
**MASKS ARE SEXY!!**