Hisoka POV
"Illumi you simply cannot do this to me, or to my sweet wife, my tight wet, little love glove! She's she's my LIFE, MY LI-MY WIFE, MY-"I was beginning to hyperventilate and my eyes whole world was imploding in shimmering show of firey despair. It's as if they lit my soul aflame and ripped my soul from me. Pain is usually a delicious enjoyable thing but not for me, not today, oh not for me.
I screamed, my throat raw and ragged, my mind spinning in a haze of of shorn ends and frayed edges. "She's mine, she's mine, SHE'S MINE!" My screams fell on deaf ears. I glanced to y/n who had all but forgotten about ME, her husband, her true love, her LIFE! Illumi ignored me and focused on comforting her. Comforting? More like putting his nasty sallow hands all over her plump full breasts. More like stealing her smile and devouring it down his sleek little throat! More like taking everything she had for HIMSELF! MORE LIKE TAKING HER FOR HIMSELF! Her hugs that only i get to have! Her love that only i get to have! HER SMILE, HER HUGS, HER LIFE, IT IS MINE MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!
NONONONONONO. There had to be a way to fix this, to stop her from- my thoughts became derailed as I watched in horror, feeling a tight grip on my heart constrict. Illumi softly a fistful of y/n's hair as she ground herself desperately onto him, her eyes pleading, her ass shaking, her pussy throbbing. They were only hugging right now and whispering only hot Jesus knows what but but I could- I could tell I could just tell they wanted each other. I used to be that man, that mate for her, her lover, her life. I-I AM HER LOVE, are I not? Illumi smiled triumphantly, a wicked smile of a sickly sea wraith. Or was I just imagining his smile? He looked tired... weak enough that I might be able to truly break him now- perhaps this is my chance? Perhaps this is yet another chance for me to teach y/n the importance of paying attention to ME, and OUR lovely lovely pure relationship together. I shut my eyes, I wanted to lunge, to rip his throat out, to reclaim what was mine and burn his fucking house to the ground. But my limbs were locked in place and I was paralyzed, my head was pounding and tears burned as they smudged my perfect makeup. This was not my in plan, none of it was! "It was an accident! I never..." the words slid out my throat, like tendrils of hope only to be dissipated at dawn. I wanted to do something, anything, but his warning earlier ago echoed in my mind...
Y/n had passed out between us, Illumi's chilling stare focused itself on me. Goosebumps ripples across my skin as I realized I'd pushed him a tad bit too far. At the time, I refused to leave, she's mine after all. As if he could read my thoughts he cooed threateningly, "i no longer think i can permit you to see her." Of course, i laughed and i launched my expertly crafted card at him, only for him to grab it and rip it up, before me as he said matter of factly, "I could kill her in an instant, fuck her in an instant, torture her in an instant, make her mine in an instant. Do anything i choose with her in an instant. If you continue with your meddling antics I may have to take away her free will for the time being. I may also have to kill her in front of you, little magician. She's my puppet, and if you disobey i will hurt her, for you. I have yet to use my pin to control her, but if you try anything ever again- that will no longer be the situation. Heed my warning."
At the time I doubted his resolve, and convinced myself he was lying with that positively dirty and deplorable mouth of his. I honestly can't believe I'd stopped so low as to kiss that mouth before. Ugh, how utterly troublesome. But as I watched them embrace before me I knew to doubt the resolve of a Zoldyck is to doubt the existence Satan himself. And there's no doubt because ive met him on many occasion.
I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, for fear I trigger him, for fear I create y/n into more of an abomination than I've already made her. I've infected her. I'm an abomination, only redeemed by that sweet woman on his lap. I needed her to make me whole snd happy. She cried and embraced him, and I was once again the one who she ignored. I was once again the neglected abomination. But as I watched them, just hug and kiss in front of me, humiliating me, burning me, incinerating me, my fear morphed.
My body was itching with rage and adrenaline beyond the compare of what of I've ever felt. To do nothing was to sit at the bottom of the ocean with bricks tied to my ankles and my lungs deprived of air- the crushing weight and darkness of the sea. I stood immobile, and at the mercy of a long haired angelic devil. At the mercy of another once again.
Was this her? Was this her choice? Was this forced or was this what she desired? Do I deserve to have her, after what I'd done? How could I not have felt her mind cracking? Did I truly cause this?! I watched in horror as she put her mouth on his penis, kissing it like she was kissing the feet of Jesus, rubbing it like a genie's lamp, pleading for mercy like he was her god. "Mmmmf savior, i don't deserve your pipe, your love, i love you Lumi, I just- I feel so safe, so loved, you saved me, you saved me..." She moaned. Her soft lovely curves which once I held under my hands were under his. Her body was a roused, in need, and no one could slake her thirst like me. I am her mate, i had to at least give it a valiant effort so as to make us whole again.
Together, we could kill that soulless siren. I grabbed her hand and pleaded, "Y/n dearest, remember i am your husband, i love you, i cherish you, i need you, come back to me. It was an accident, I just request one last chance. I will never hurt you again! Come back to me dearest, come back!" She frowned sat up, lips trembling as she looked at me with a haunted gaze. She squeezed Illumi's arm and recoiled from me. She stared at me and tentatively opened her mouth but paused a moment to look up at Illumi for comfort. No- i know- she did if for permission to even look at me. Permission to see her husband, her love, her anchor, her naughty little magician. That's right! She needed me to save her from him! She just didn't know it yet! I burst into tears and felt myself drift further into the crushing oblivion. She squeezed Illumi's hand. She wiped the tears out her eyes and said softly yet resolutely, "I- i don't care, Hisoka. you've hurt me worse m-more times than I can count- you've choked me, thrown me out a w-window, hung me by my feet from the ceiling for hours, fucked me until I bled, i-ignored my words, tattooed me without my permission, like-..." she pressed her palm into her eyes and whispered, "I've suffered Enough. Emotionally, and physically, you only care about what makes you happy- you knew I was in pain with this j-just horrible nen marriage shit and i was living in a never ending loop of pink pain, my dr-dreams, were- were, my mind I..." she began sobbing and Illumi pressed his lips togtehr and enveloped her in his arms. She clutched him and pain and torture marred her features as her voice broke and she yelled, "I never complain! I did it all for you! I endured it all for you! You never stop, you never stop making me your plaything and you never stop treating me like I don't feel I feel pain, I feel anxious, I feel neglected and confused and just small when I'm with you. This, what you did to my sanity, mind, my dreams. Enough is enough. When- when we were kids you never fucked me up so bad and I thought- I thought if I endured enough and supported you enough things would go back to they way they were- but this- this is the last straw and you've- you've shown me time a-and time again that you'll never stop hurting me, never stop fucking me up." She she broke down into tears and Crawled back onto Illumi's lap and cried into his chest. My face paled as I heard her words. Not true not true not true. Things are better than they ever were with us, she and I have had some bumps but she's always forgiven me, always seen the love in us! he must already be using his pin on her! That's the only explanation! He whispered words that were inaudible over the throbbing in my chest to her. She clung to him as if she loved him, how- how foolish! I watched him set his chin on her head and his cold omniscient gaze make goosebumps ripple across my body.
All may have been lost after all. Illumi's glare settled on me, and a cold, unsettling smile broke his features. It's as if all the joy I'd had fucking with him all those years ago was coming back to haunt me in a terribly awful Avenue of circumstances. I never believe in something so silly as karma, that is, until now.
It was haunting how empty and scared she looked when she saw me, as she held onto Illumi for dear life. They both looked like they'd been out through a washing machine and left in there for days, together. If this situation wasn't so painful for me and y/n I'd simply keel over with laughter at how pathetic and drenched they both appeared to be. Well, my y/n was far from pathetic, she loved me and she'd never-
Her muffled voice and tortured tone hit my ears as she whispered, "Hisoka, please leave me alone forever , or until I say...." Her tone was soft and broken, but her voice rang out like a bell toll. I might really have to kill Illumi. He did do all of this mess after all. I shivered and felt pain begin to creep into my bones. My little love would never truly want me to go! I deserved to be truly loved, she told me so! She wouldn't renege on her special promise. Just like my mom, she really loved me, she'a my true family- she told me so! She just wouldn't leave or hurt me, she cares for me! That's why i can do whatever suits me and she'll love me no matter what. I just had to make her realize that Illumi simply was not an option. I snapped my finger in her face angrily and commanded, "You're coming back with me, my Love, i don't care what i have to do to get it."
She began to cry harder in Illumi's arms as she held her eye contact with me, her shining lilac gaze and washing over me and making me want to collapse. "Hisoka please just- just go, we'll see each *sniff* *sniff* other again just not now. I love you. Please..." her voice broke and Illumi whispered soothingly while rubbing her back, "All is well, please my love, you are safe. He will leave us, won't he? When my father comes to fetch him he'll leave." My love? How dare he?!My body began shivering as I dimly realized that the glimmer in her gaze and Her lovely smile was gone, when she looked at me. It had to have been his pin! All this nonsense about pain had been resolved so long ago! Such tomfoolery could never be her true, unabated thoughts! I'd have to take her! I know she couldn't ever have said such a thing if it was not for that wretched piece of metal!
I mean, Why would she even stay with me this long if she supposedly hated it so much? No good reason other than she loved me, and severely enjoyed all we did togther. She knows this! She knows this what is wrong with her? I'd have to make her know, make her remember how fucking Much she and I BELONG TOGTHER! I let my bloodlust ooze out and I seethed, "Shut up kindly, Love, that is simply that horrid little pin talking. I will simply excracate it, come here. I shall cure you, again." Her eyes widened, along with Illumi and to my dismay, y/n and Illumi called out in unison "NO!" My hands moved on their own as I grinned and launched myself at her. Id be the one she'd call savior, yes yes I would. I'd save her and take it out right this very moment, yes, yes I would. Then I'd take out that godforsaken pin and end this positively topsy turvy dance of the ages.
She was far too slow to stop me, and as I landed right next to them, I shot my hand out to her neck, honing in on her neck. That long sleek pretty neck. Sometimes I missed choking her. Sometimes I missed feeling her windpipe crack under my hands as she writhed in powerlessness under me. So what?
today, I'd save her with these hands. Her eyes widened in fear and I grinned, enjoying the look of a naive and lost lamb. but I faltered realizing I didn't know where the pin was. Hadn't I seen it? I thought I'd been paying attention! I know I must've payed attention to her at a time like this! It's Illumi's fault, even though I was in the room- he- he must've hidden it from me! That's why I didn't know where the pin was in my lovely. hat's troublesome.
. Illumi took advantage of this stagnant moment and caught my wrist in a vice-like grip. The embers of my anger were being rekindled as I watched this man wrench her from me because of his damned pins. My limbs shook as I grit my teeth and tried to pull away, but like the night wraith he was, his black eyes bore into me and he was very close to snapping my wrist. Illumi's anger rippled off him in dizzying waves of nauseating hate. Never before had I felt so much hate emitting from him. He leaned closer and said in a stern and calm tone, "You are not to touch her body, her mind, her spirit or her soul.That device ensures her sanity, It insures her life. It will remain apart of her as long as we deem fit" I glanced to y/n and she pressed her lips together and pressed herself into Illumi. Illumi nodded, and wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders. He nodded as if finally convincing himslef of something, and he threatened, "Again, you will leave when my father comes to fetch you. You will comply with all the demands and never return to her or me unless she explicitly requests it. Prepare to Leave. Hisoka." His command rattled my skull and echoed around the room, his delicious bloodlust heavy in the air and i wished oh how i wished he'd fight me, fuck, fight me Illumi. Hnnnnnn. The sting of Illumi's slap brought me back from my delicious daydream. It felt as if My body was being put through a shredder, my mind was being assaulted by Zeus himself in a tirade of undue tyranny. "You hedonistic excuse for a human being, all you think about is your own pleasure." I opened my arms out to her only for her to cry softly and pull away from me and closer and closer to him snd evermore father away from me.
I felt what only could only be described as debilitating inability to move or think. Is this fear? I thought dimly as the world dissolved into nothingness, the tall fortresses of love and comfort and security were raided, abused, and lain to waste. All was naught and all I could see, all I could do, all I could focus on was them. With a simple wave of his hand, the air i breathe turns to acid, and it hurt just to breathe. It hurt just to live, this feeling of utter uselessness, listlessness and pain- it reminded me of when i was a child.
When I watched them I just felt empty, no rage, no sorrow, only an odd feeling of tears and no connection to the absurd things. My rage had melted away and dropped off me like a strawberry ice cream dripping in the afternoon sun. For hours they fucked, despite the exhausted expressions they both wore earlier. Now they made love like they were in love. This is not how I wanted any of this to go! I had a perfect plan for all three of us! PERFECT, lovely lovely plan! A plan so shimmering and beautiful I couldn't help but begin to cry.
I wanted to stop it all, but I felt weak, Illumi's threats whispering in my ear and clawing at my heart. My existence was useless and I wanted to die. But fear not, for I know it's just a dream, a horrible nasty nasty nasty dream in which she'd eventually return to me or I'd just wake up, yes, right, of course! A nasty little dream is all it was, a nasty little dream...
Canary POV
I sighed under my breath in impatience as Silva threw a passed out and deplorable looking Hisoka over his shoulder and shut the soundproof door to Illumi's room promptly. I looked closely on at the pathetic clown. deflated and crying softly- even in his sleep. Has I not known the evil he was capable of- I might have actually have pitied him. Glad to see him gone, as we all were. Tsubone trailed slightly behind them, and I trailed her. Zeno had asked me to observe but not interfere, as he often does. Right now, he is completing a mission of unknown origin so here I am, in his stead. I'd rather be guarding the entrance, but this had its interesting points too.
Silva grunted as he walked down the hallway and commented something under his breath to Tsubone about nullifying the contract. Obviously, as Illumi prepared to exorcise Hsioka he throughly prepared for the aftermath of it all, and had given his father specific directions on what to do, and when to do it- in return for a favor later down the line. But quite frankly as we were walking down the seemingly endless corridor, I found myself spacing off as my thoughts began to wander to the subject in question. Or rather, as Zeno liked to say flippantly "the man of the hour".
_
They say he was afraid of the dark. I'm not too sure of those myths, but before I got here, I've heard Gotoh tell me stories. He was deathly afraid, never caught at night without a nightlight, he adamantly refused roam the halls alone and dreaded enclosed spaces of any kind. Naturally, Silva despised such a fear and by the time Illumi was eight and a half he'd more than enough. Kikyo had kept Silva at bay from truly indoctrinating Illumi in the doctrine that assassins were truly fearless and if they were not, they did not deserve to survive.
And so, Silva forced Illumi to be buried alive for days on end. If, when they pulled him out he was crying he would go back in. This went on for weeks- and each day without fail- little Illumi would be crying uncontrollably, always hyperventilating, and eyes wide- not yet pitch black as they are today. I'd look at photos of him in his old life and see not Illumi, but an innocent, possibly even having the potential to maybe be a caring child. They'd say his fear only intensified and he developed odd behaviors because of it. Always fidgeting, never focused fully on training (which starts at age six or so), and afraid to eat- lest he grow naseus underground with no ability to sit up and retch. Choking on his own bile, alone, in the dark must've been really horrible. Silva nor Kikyo were worried by any of this. Only Zeno held slight reservations though he only voiced them periodically- only for Silva to grow heated in his defense of his actions, proclaiming "cowardice has absolutely no place in this household of honor". Zeno knew this and remained skeptical, yet said nothing. Did nothing.
Slowly but surely, as the years went on and the training intensified accordingly his eyes became blacker and his skin became paler and paler, and he ate less and less until he began to resemble a sickly cave-dwelling creature. After three and a half years of the same sickening routine, Zeno and Kikyo confabulated and took pity on the the now skeletal, pale and black-eyed firstborn. They then taught him how to use his nen pins on himslef, as a methods of taking away the fear and the pain- and all other emotion with it. It worked. So then, the next day he ate well, he did not cry, and when they put him underground and pulled him back up- he was completely unbothered, his pants were not soiled, he was not crying, he had not thrown up, and he was not shaking. The butlers like to say that was the day he died and the day he lost his soul.
Though, Silva was finally proud as there was no more need to bury him alaive each night, and he could resume the designated training and prepare to be groomed for being the head of household. That's because, up until Killua arrived, Illumi would've been. That, and being the firstborn made it so that his training was worse than any of the other children's. So it is.
Illumi, from that day on never had any qualms about doing what must be done. No qualms concerning his orders, which he followed without question. So his love became the same. It was no longer a soft kind of love but rather an unwavering loyalty to the family and its endeavors. His love became like him- unyielding support, observant, and strong. Yet we knew the girl was in danger from a larger threat, her husband. It was no question that Illumi's pin would work indisputably. But Gotoh wondered, what then, when Hisoka is gone? Will she be safe? What then, will become of her and this cave-dwelling eel?