[ 1x06 if tomorrow never comes- part 2 ]
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"Alex!"
Mackenzie set her food down on the table where her friends were sitting, a scolding look on her face.
Alex sighed, "What now?"
"You got kicked off the case? Why?" Mackenzie's eyes widened as she answered the question for herself. "She heard you, didn't she?"
"I thought the mic was off," defended Alex.
"Still shouldn't have said it," said Mackenzie. "Because since I was there I got kicked off the case as well. I didn't even say anything!"
Alex scoffed, "Oh, come on. You were about to throw up at the sight of her tumor. Cristina says crap every day and gets away with it."
"If I stuck this fork into his thigh, would I get in trouble?" wondered Cristina, holding up her plastic fork.
"Not if you make it look like an accident," answered Meredith.
"Hey guys!" George sat down with them as well.
The table was a little crowded with Mackenzie, Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, Alex, and George here. Even with their little banter, Mackenzie found it nice to have good friends in this hospital.
"Thank god man, I'm drowning in estrogen here," Alex said.
Mackenzie felt her chair scoot by force as George squeezed his way in between her and Alex. Mackenzie stabbed her pasta salad a bit too forcefully with her fork. She was off such a huge case all because Alex couldn't keep his mouth shut.
"Are you alright?" asked George, leaning closer to the blonde.
Mackenzie looked up. "I got kicked off the tumor case."
"Because of me," Alex smiled and Mackenzie threw a grape at him.
George cleared his throat. "Well, you know everyone has bad days. Maybe tonight, uh, if you know - if you drink alcohol I mean - we could - all of us, I mean, go out and drink alcohol."
Mackenzie stared at him, trying to decipher George's stuttered sentence. She didn't know what he was trying to get at.
"I have to go," Meredith sighs as her pager beeps. She gives George an amused look as she walks off.
Mackenzie remembers her conversation with Derek and pushes her chair back. "Give me a moment."
She swore she could hear laughs and snickers behind her when she ran after Meredith, but that wasn't something she was concerned about right now.
"Mer!"
Meredith turned around just as she got to the elevator. "Yeah?"
"Listen, I know you like to solve your sex and love life by yourself, but I need to tell you this," says Mackenzie. "Derek really likes you and from all the years I've known him..." she made sure not to mention Addison, remembering her promise to Derek. "I've never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. I don't know all the details of your...thing, but trust me when I say he's a great guy and because of that, screw what everyone else thinks."
Meredith stared at her, a bit surprised she gave her a whole speech on Derek. She laughed, "I would think you're in love with Derek."
Mackenzie rolled her eyes. "He's basically my brother."
"I know, he calls you his sister all the time," says Meredith. The elevator opens behind her and she goes in. "Plus, I see the way you look at Alex."
"I do not-" Before Mackenzie could defend herself, Meredith gave her a wink and the doors closed in front of her.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Although Annie Connors' surgery was going on right now where Mackenzie should have been, she had to look at the bright side: she was running a whole floor - with the help of Alex.
"This sucks, everyone else is scrubbed in somewhere," grumbled Alex.
"Don't remind me, I'm finally in a good mood," she says.
Mackenzie heard a groan next to them and when she looked over, vomit was covering Alex's scrubs.
She laughed. "That's amazing."
"I'm getting new scrubs," Alex went toward the intern's locker room.
Mackenzie noticed some got on her shoes as well, so she followed him to clean off quickly. She opened the door and let another intern go out before looking up. Alex stood at his locker...shirtless. She couldn't divert her eyes away from him. He was beautiful. Too many nights from college popped up in her head: clothes on the floor, her back against the bed, Alex whispering sweet nothings in her ear-
"Like what you see?" smirked Alex.
Mackenzie snapped out of her daydream and turned around to where the paper towels were. "I'm sorry."
"It's not like you haven't seen it before."
She ignored him, wiping the bits of vomit off her shoes and throwing it away. After she washed her hands, she turned around, but came face to face with Alex. He was still shirtless.
She turned around again. "Do you need me to get you extra scrubs or something?"
Mackenzie forgot how to breathe as she felt Alex lightly press himself against her back. His hands grazed her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps. Her neck arched at his soft touch and his lips hovered above her neck. His hot breath fanned on her skin; she felt dizzy.
"Do you want me to stop?" asked Alex, his voice flustered.
Mackenzie could barely say, "No."
"Don't you miss this?" whispered Alex. His hands kept roaming around her arms and waist. "We drove each other crazy."
Alex wasn't wrong. Although their relationship was full of love and trust, she could never get enough of him. She'd be itching to see him all day during her classes. The first month of them moving in together was...eventful to say the least.
Alex was done teasing as he turned her around, their faces inches a part. Mackenzie glanced down at his lips, trying to remember the last time she kissed him. The longing she felt for him grew as she looked into his eyes. Desire and want were behind his brown eyes.
Alex slowly backed her into the wall, his hands firm on her hips. Mackenzie was done messing around. She needed him. Being this close to Alex made her realize she wasn't over him and she probably never would be.
"Dr.Sloan, room 2116 needs a central line!"
"Damn it," groaned Alex.
Mackenzie pushed Alex off of her just as she heard the door swing open. A nurse was out of breath, looking a bit disappointed in the interns.
"I've been paging you!"
"Sorry sorry. A patient vomited on us," Mackenzie told him.
"Just...come on," the nurse urged her forward.
Mackenzie looked back at Alex. "You coming?"
"I'm going to see how Annie's doing."
Mackenzie had to take a couple of breaths, not realizing how caught up in the moment she was. Alex seemed to be a bit pale as well.
"Don't take long, we have a lot of patients," she reminded him.
"Yeah yeah."
Mackenzie had so many things she wanted to say to him, but by the urgent look on the nurse's face, she knew she had to go.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"Very steamy."
"Should've locked the door."
"Well, I didn't think that was going to happen!"
Mackenzie sipped on her wine as Cristina and Izzie kept asking her questions about her and Alex. Meredith wasn't home yet, Mackenzie's suspicions leading her towards her being with Derek.
"What even happened between you two?" asked Cristina.
Mackenzie felt a small pang in her heart. "It's nothing."
"It's obviously something," said Izzie. "You two give these romance movie couple looks to each other across the hall or whenever you're in the same room. Did he cheat? Did you break up with him?"
Mackenzie shook her head. She hadn't talked about that night in a while and she'd prefer not to. However, she found friends she could trust and since she had mostly moved on from then, she felt somewhat comfortable to talk about it.
"Okay, well..."
The rain pattered against the apartment window as Mackenzie looked out onto the car headlights in the street below. She smoothed out her red dress multiple times, nerves racing all throughout her body. She glanced back at the table, making sure the candle was still lit and the food was residing under the cloches. She made grilled chicken with green beans and macaroni tonight. It was a simple dish, but it was easier than trying to find a fancy restaurant with mediocre food in their small town.
Today was Alex and Mackenzie's three year anniversary. These past years were some of the best moments Mackenzie has had, but there were also moments of doubt. Alex had been quiet the past month, more than usual. She asked a couple of times what was wrong, but he waved it off as the stress of finding an internship program to apply to. Mackenzie had multiple options: Mayo Clinic, UCLA, John Hopkins, or Seattle Grace. They were all ranked very high in the country and although Mackenzie had done exceptionally well over the past couple of years, there was still doubt that she could even get into one of the internship programs.
Mackenzie stood up abruptly when she heard the keys turning in the lock. She quickly made her way to stand behind the table. Alex walked in with the clothes he wore to class, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more prominent each day.
"Happy anniversary!" she smiled, taking off the cloches and presenting the food to him.
Alex warily smiled. "That looks great."
Mackenzie noticed the unenthusiastic look on his face, but she pushed it away. He was just tired. That's all.
She waited for Alex to sit down, but he didn't. There was a moment of awkward silence as Mackenzie waited for him to say something, anything.
"Are you not hungry?" asked Mackenzie.
He took off his coat and hung it on the chair. He stared idly at the food. "Not really. I'm sorry I know you put a lot of effort into this."
Mackenzie tried to brush off the slight annoyance that she felt. She spent multiple hours shopping and cooking, as well as getting ready. A night in was a cute date and she rented a movie from down the street. "It's fine."
Alex sighed. "No it's not."
She shrugged. "You obviously aren't excited to be back here."
"Of course I am," reasoned Alex.
He tried to come up to her, but she backed away. His distant nature was getting to her every day and the fact that he couldn't put a smile on his face on this special day sickened her. "Alex, you have to tell me what's wrong because I keep thinking about everything I've done this past month and nothing stands out to me."
Something flashed across Alex's face, but it was too fast for Mackenzie to pinpoint it. "You did nothing wrong."
"God, then what did I do?" Alex didn't say anything. "Alex!"
Alex tried to suppress what he was feeling; it would kill her if she found out, but the quietness from him was almost as bad. "Kenzie, you're going to hate me when I ask this."
She groaned. "Just say it."
"A month ago when you said 'forever'," he started. "Did you mean marriage? Kids?"
Mackenzie nodded. "Of course I did. I see that future with you."
Alex hung his head down and that's when Mackenzie was struck with the reality of what's been happening this past month. "You still haven't changed your mind, have you?"
Around a month ago, Mackenzie and Alex got into one of the biggest arguments ever. It was about their future and what they wanted. Mackenzie claimed she wanted marriage and a family with him. Alex wasn't the same after that. He wanted to be with her, but he didn't want any of the 'for life' plans. It made Mackenzie believe he didn't see a future with her. Even though he claimed he did, she didn't buy it. Who would want a future with someone but not want a family?
"No," he whispered.
"You will though," she encouraged him. "People grow with time-"
Something snapped inside of Alex then as he looked up angrily. "How many times do I have to say that's not me? I'm not going to change for anybody! You knew what my views were when we started dating so you shouldn't have that shocked expression on your face right now."
"Well, how am I supposed to feel when the guy I love says he doesn't see a future with me?" asked Mackenzie. It felt like she was being stabbed in the heart and it was only growing by the second.
"I want to be with you," said Alex. "Just not with all the-"
"Commitment?" she finished for him. "Does that word still scare you?"
"It's a stupid word," he mumbled.
"It's important to me," she said. "Is it so bad that one day I want to start a real life with you?"
What Alex said next made the wound in her heart rip open completely.
"I don't think we should be together anymore."
Mackenzie tried to search for a sign that he was joking, but his face was firm and at some moments there might've been regret in his eyes, but they were well hidden.
She shook her head a bit too fiercely. "No. No, you don't mean that."
"I do," he said. "We want two different futures. How will that benefit us if we stay together and keep having the same argument?"
"I know we can work this out," she said, but with little hope in her voice.
Alex scoffed. "We'd work it out until you got your way."
She didn't snap back. He was right. She'd never change her mind and maybe he would never change his.
"I'll get my things."
Mackenzie rushed after Alex as he went into the bedroom and started packing a duffel bag. She didn't want to, but the only reasonable thing she could do now was to beg. "Alex. Please don't do this. I'm sorry I keep bringing it up." He didn't stop packing. "I can't lose you Alex, you're the only person left in this world that matters to me."
"You depend on me too much," he said, even though he depended on her with his life.
Alex went into the bathroom for a few seconds, drawers opening and closing before he came back out and packed a couple of more things. When he zipped his bag and flung it over his shoulder, Mackenzie's heart stopped. He went to the front door, but she grabbed onto his arm before he could make a quick exit.
"Alex," she pleaded, her eyes flooding with tears. "Don't do this to me. To us. I truly believe we belong together and I'm sorry I see future with us. It's because I've never loved someone as much as you."
A battle was going on inside of Alex's head and it took everything in him not to take his hand off the door knob right now. He knew if he didn't leave now he'd end up staying. He shook his arm out of Mackenzie's grip and placed his hand on her cheek. "You're going to be a great surgeon. Please don't let this affect that."
With one quick kiss to the forehead, Alex opened the door and left. She wanted to run after him, but her feet were glued to the spot. Her arms hugged her stomach and a cry of pain escaped her lips; the wound had grown immensely. She ripped off the bracelet Alex gave her for their one year and threw it against the door. It shattered everywhere.
Even with med school ending in a couple of weeks, she needed to get out of Iowa and away from any states surrounding it. With some difficulty, she went to her desk and opened her notebook. Taking out a red pen, she circled Seattle Grace with much force. That was going to be her new home. She could feel it. And as much pain she was in right now, Alex wasn't going to stop her from becoming one of the best surgeons ever.
"Wow," sighed Cristina.
"Kenzie, I'm so sorry," Izzie reached over and gave Mackenzie's hand a squeeze.
"After Mark, Derek, and Alex, I felt like I had no one," admitted Mackenzie.
"What happened with Mark and Derek?" asked Izzie.
Mackenzie shook her head. "A story for another time."
"Well," Cristina filled all their wine glasses. "Here's to men being shit, but when we find the right one, we'll check in with each other to see if he's a good one."
Mackenzie raised her glass and an invisible one for Meredith. "Cheers to that."
"Cheers," said Izzie and they all clinked their glasses.
Outside of Meredith's house, George held a six pack of beer in his hands. He had heard their whole conversation.
Alex just gets everything, huh thought George.
He had wanted to surprise Mackenzie with the beer like he had said earlier. He thought everyone else would be at the hospital late, but he guessed wrong. With disappointment, he went into the house and ignoring the jokes called out to him from the girls, he went up to his room.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
okay before i get into anything can we admire this edit i made of mackenzie and alex (ik it's not top tier but i'm proud of it for my mediocre editing skills🙃):
soooo a lot happened in this chapter. and now you know what happened the night of alex and mackenzie's break up. as i've stated earlier, i love diving more into alex's character, especially in the earlier seasons. even though it hints at why he is the way he is, i want to show more of that!
alex POV next chapter ;)
thank you for the love and support for this book, it's going to be a long ride <3
-brooke