Expectation
"Grabe si Daddy, Noah! Ang sakit- sakit..."
I once again pulled a tissue inside the tissue box I carried here in my bed. Sobra na kasing hapdi sa mata ng towel na ginagamit ko kanina, so I opted to switch it with a tissue na walang awa kong inaaksaya sa bawat punas ko sa face at tapon sa trash bin. I took the last Magnun stick from the box I'm now about to finish.
"Babe... you listening?" I asked.
I hardly breathed and sniffed while eating the ice cream. I was talking too much, and Third remained muted throughout.
I heard an intense sigh on the line.
"Y-you okay?" I repeated a question.
He responds immediately, "Are you?"
"Obviously, I'm not. I want your hug, Noah."
Third tucked his showing face on his pillow. "We both know I can't make it tonight. We'll just see each other tomorrow, hm? You can hug me for as long as you want. And kisses are free," he simply smirked.
I tossed the paper box tissue to the table after getting four pieces and arranging myself to properly lay on the bed. I hugged the comforter.
"Ayaw ko ng kisses, hug lang."
"Ok. Hug lang." He has a small smile on his lips.
I stayed silent for a second and watched him on the video call until I saw him slowly knotting his forehead while his lips are biting.
"You still there? Open your camera now, babe."
"Ang pangit ng eyebags ko."
He scoffed. "It doesn't even lessen anything. You're still as beautiful as a panda."
"Anong sabi mo?! A panda, huh?"
His lips were in a thin line but his annoying eyes say otherwise. He raised a brow. "Kaya nga patingin ako. Open now your camera so I can see..."
"Pangit nga..."
"Then panda nga." He laughed.
I made a sarcastic face as if he can watch me right now. "Hindi kita papayagang i- kiss ako sa lips ever!"
He opened his mouth but soon smirked. "Who did you scare?"
I creased my forehead.
"You?"
He laughed and arched a brow. "Me? I'm not that thirsty for your kisses, Avi."
I unlocked my mouth in disbelief. I then closed it and gulp. I made a sound. "Really? You saying, Third?" I made sure I used emphasis on his name.
He nipped his lower lip. "You calling me Third never sounds this intimidating."
I rolled my eyes. "You just have a pretty liar tongue. From what I can remember, you always do your wayward tactics just to kiss-"
He chuckles, "Okay, fine."
"Tssk. Fine what."
"Regardless of how worthy of size and dark is your circles, you'll always be the prettiest living panda. You're just cute as my baby."
I pulled more down the comforter.
"Hindi ako natutuwa. At hindi ka na nakakakilig, so stop it!" I bit my lips afterwards.
"Tss. Just don't forget to drink your water, okay? You had too much ice cream than what you should only have. I only had to let you because I know you're upset."
"Oke..." I'm not a hypocrite to never say hindi ako kinilig sa baby. My off-camera does me good.
I trailed out of the computer room after the professor dismissed us. I went straight away to the canteen where Via and Ralph were waiting for me.
Arriving, I waved my hand and smiled back at Ralph, who was nearly standing in his chair. Nakatalikod si Via katabi ang isang man kaya hindi niya ako nakita.
When the man beside Via stood up to exit the table, that's when the time I get closer to them. Medyo nagulat ako when I realized na si Lucas pala 'yon. When he turned his back to face the direction where I'm standing, that's when our eyes met and the distance between us was so close. I instantly noticed some changes in his face and aura. Hindi ko alam na guwapo pala talaga siya sa malapitan.
I faintly smiled at him, trying to cover the awkwardness. I just garnered that this is the first time I saw him again closely, aside from the often times I would see him from the view in the hallway and when we go on the same schedules. Matagal- tagal na rin pala.
Lucas simply nod a head and easily avoided his gaze at me. I don't know pero medyo na- hurt ako sa naging manner niya. I heard someone clear his throat and cough.
"Ad, ang bigat naman!" Ralph once again faked a cough. "Ang bigat naman... ng bag ko! Labas ko na nga lahat ng rambutan dito!"
Pinanood namin siyang magbalat. "Hirap!" He exaggerated kaya lahat kami ay napunta na talaga ang attention sa kaniya. He just arched a brow and gave us all a questioning look. "Gusto niyo?"
Umiling nalang ako sa kaniya while holding the lace of my ID.
"Hirap nga lang balatan! Halika rito, Victoria nga. Anong silbi ng mahaba mong kuko," pang- aasar ni Ralph.
Via glared at him.
"Chris, una na 'ko. Kita nalang tayo sa inyo mamaya."
I heard Lucas' baritone voice. Hindi ako makatingin na sa kaniya ngayon. Umupo nalang ako sa place niya kanina. I sniffed how he smell so good pa pagkadaan ko sa harap niya.
"Via..."
I noticed his pat on Via's shoulder through my side gaze. I got nervous at napatingin din sa shoulder ko. My shoulder inwardly moved for an unbelievable reason when suddenly...
"Babay..."
Nakaalis na pala siya.
I blinked twice. I unconsciously turned my head to his moving silhouette, when I heard a crispy laugh. I instantly turned my head back to the front and looked at Ralph.
"Sinasabi ko na nga ba sa hula, e!" Ralph chuckled while shaking his head. I creased my forehead at his unpredictable words.
"Ah... Avi! Wala... Ninakaw ko kasi ang bola ni Madam Bertud kagabi. Sige kain ka lang. Huwag mo ko pansinin, ah!" Ralph second- handed.
I freed the bread from the plastic I get inside my bag. "You want?" I offered the bread to him when striking Via over Ralph didn't get one.
Mas lalong lumakas ang tawa ni Ralph after asking him if he wants a share of my bread.
"Oh, you shut up! My beloved ears had too much of your laugh! Kanina ka pang umaga, huh! Rinding- rindi na 'ko sa bunganga mo!" si Via na kanina pang masama ang look kay Ralph.
I shook my head and took a bite from my bread when the lovers once turned again as nosy as cat and dog.
Later on, I gradually stopped swallowing when my phone vibrated. I took it out from my pocket and immediately, my eyes widened out of excitement.
From: Noah
Meet me outside.
From: Noah
Surprise!
I hurriedly finished the bread in my mouth and drank from Via's bottle.
"I'm leaving." I stood up.
Via who's still shouting to Ralph gave me an accusing yet unbelievable look. "What? Ngayon na lang ulit tayo nagkasabay kumain, ah! Aalis ka agad? Where are you going?"
I returned her bottle. She accepted it before I went on to speak. "Third's outside." I cheekily grinned at her while elevating my two brows.
Napalabi siya while slowly nodded her head and puckered her lips afterward. "Okay pa sa okay! Shoo! Go to your Papi!"
She started pushing me lightly to go. "My gosh! Siguro mas guwapo pa siya sa personal, 'no?"
That's when I realized I haven't formally introduced Via to Third. They actually haven't met each other, or at least took the simplest glance on each other's faces aside from pictures. I think the reason behind Via's usual exaggerated reaction is her excitement to finally see Third in person. And that's what triggers her loud squeals every time I mention Third's name. And she's very supportive also my relationship with Third! Much appreciated and it's.. heartwarming!
"You want to come with me?" I got excited so nasabi ko tuloy.
Her lips parted in shock while her eyes almost turned to a sparkling star. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Talaga?!"
I secretly smirked upon seeing Ralph's sarcastic face on the side view.
"Of course! Tara! I'm coming with you!" She's 'that' very excited to actually forget her boyfriend was listening.
"Nasaan ba siya? Damn Avi! I'm so excited to see the handsome Third! Don't be jealous tho!" She chuckled, making me laugh too.
It has no issue with me, really. But if the other girls do say that.. especially mean girls I know, I expect my irritability again just like what happened the last time. I'm just not comfortable dahil alam kong marami talaga ang bitches dito sa campus. Via along with my other girlfriends... was a different case, right. Adding the fact that even though Via often hates Ralph vocally, she'll always love her boyfriend so much.
"Outside the gate..." I advanced forward my hand for her to hold it. When she accepted it and was about to stand, Ralph, cut in.
"Ad, sama ako."
We instantly averted our gaze from Ralph when he hurriedly packed his things, scared we might run and leave him.
"Bakit ka pa sasama? Epal ka talaga!" Via reacted.
Ralph stopped zippering his bag and looked at her. "Bakit ba? Gusto ko ring makita ang..." He cleared his throat. "Ang boyfriend ni Avi."
Ralph then turned to me. "Okay lang, 'di ba Madam?"
Tumango ako at ngumiti nang slight.
His head instantly lit up before facing Via again. "You see that? Sasama ako sa ayaw at hindi mo gusto."
Via creased her forehead but shook her head soon enough. "Hindi talaga! Gusto mo lang sumama kasi para may ma- chika ka kay Lucas. Alam ko, tama ba?"
I softly gasped. "Did I hear it right?" I asked myself.
I behold my eyes directly at Ralph's, whose expression was on uptight expression.
"Tama ba, Ralph?"
He scrunched his nose and scratched his ears before smiling at me afterward when he got to recover from his weirdness. "Hindi, ah! Wag kang magpaniwala sa sinasabi niyan," he answered referring to Via.
"Binubulungan ata ng masasamang espiritu," Ralph addedly mumbled.
Via rolled her eyes. "Let's just fucking go." She glared at Ralph. "Promise me you'll behave!"
Agad na lumiwanag ang face ni Ralph, he did a salute after. "Aye aye, captain!"
"Tsk."
Napailing na lang ako sa kanila. Ralph is a lucky bitch today, huh?
We were silent walking down the pathway to see Third outside the gate when my phone vibrated. I read a message from Via, which makes my forehead furrow.
From: Ralph's property
Avianne! Please do me a favor it's actually not for me but u
What is this woman saying...
I glanced at Via in furtiveness but she was busy composing another message for me, that's what I think when I actually received another text from her.
From: Ralph's property
Stop walking and tell us na hindi mo pala kami pwedeng isama dahil 'yon ang sabi ni Third kunwari.. Please! You'll thank me for this!!
Tumingin ako sa back just to check Ralph, was also busy fiddling his fingers on his phone... Maybe the reason why he didn't notice us.
What's wrong with these two?
From: Ralph's property
IM URGING YOU
When I turned again to Via, she was also looking back at me. I shook my head because I can't be that rude to Ralph. There's no reason for me to support Via's supposed to be 'plan'.
Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mata at pinipilit pa akong sundin ang sinabi niya, using only her facial expressions. I almost stifled a chuckle. Via sighed frustratingly when I once again shook my head with a stoic face, even though I was restraining my laugh.
Pa- simple akong lumingon kay Ralph na busy pa rin sa phone niya. I sighed in relief. He doesn't deserve to be fed up by lies just so I could discard him... kahit pa nga si Via lang naman talaga ang dyingly na may gusto.
I can't understand my friend! Does she really believe that Ralph has his personal motive that's why he wants to see Third? If that is so, I'm not that shallow...
I don't even care what Ralph's unceasing mouth can do after this. He's freely allowed in exposing every juicy detail to Lucas if that's what he really wants to satisfy his 24/7 machine mouth. Kahit i- gossip niya pa here sa buong campus at mundo. I don't care. I'm proud of my boyfriend kaya!
My phone jiggled again in my hand. I sighed. This is why I often set up my phone on vibrate mode. If you don't want to get caught in the midst of suspicious moves.
From Ralph's property:
Avi come on! Tsismoso ang kasama natin! You don't want that!
Tiningnan ko ulit si Via. I mouthed I don't care. I smirked before opening my mouth again. I want it!
I wasn't able to restrain my laugh this time when she stomped her feet in annoyance. Such a brat.
"Sana okay ka lang, Avi." Napatalon ako sa gulat nang bumulong si Ralph sa left ear ko.
I widened my eyes at him. "You scared me!"
He distanced the space between us. "Akala ko kung napapano ka na, e. You just laughed out of nowhere," he chuckled.
I smirked at him when our 'another one with' abruptly groaned.
"Ah! Ouch! Ang sakit ng puson ko..."
Nagtataka akong bumaling kay Via. She arched her upper body after she languidly bowed her head while clutching her lower abdomen. Why does it feel so surreal to me?
"Adih..." Her voice was so soft and melodious.
Oh no.. her film is rolling again.
"Ang sakit ng puson ko..." She's actually the one who stepped closer to hold onto Ralph's arm. Napataas ang brow ko. "Samahan mo 'ko sa clinic."
I started to get worried... but more confused. Oh gosh, she's really good at it!
She grunted in pain again, still gripping a handful of force on her abdomen. "It hurts..."
Inaalalayan siya ni Ralph nang bigla nalang siyang bumitiw. "Sure ka?"
Mahinang tinapik ni Via sa arm si Ralph. "Bakit parang hindi ka naniniwala, ah?! Masakit nga!" Tapos humarap siya sa'kin.
"Avi, sorry... My abdomen really hurts right now. Ikaw nalang ang lumabas. Maybe I'll just see Third some other time." She smiled.
I arched a brow. "Okay, then." I kissed her cheek. "Be good, hmm?" I turned to Ralph. "Take care of her."
I watched the lovers go in another direction while Via was lightly limping. I saw Ralph kiss the side of her forehead. I sighed and shook my head before keeping up the way outside the gate.
However, another message did block again my trip. And I'm expecting this to be from the best actress.
Oh, I'm wrong.
From: Via's property
dude i know her acting. Hi nalang sa bf mo
I just smirked before sliding my phone inside the bag. Guess I'm wrong, Via. You're caught this time.
I smiled at the Kuya bodyguard after passing by the gate. He wouldn't allow me at first because of the maintained security inside the campus, yet it didn't take enough for me to convince him, saying I'll just be real quick outside to see Third. He has this small smile on his lips, and I thought he must be really fine with it, earning that he probably memorized Third's face, with the latter spending most of the hour outside to wait for me every dismissal.
"Hi handsome," I greeted him after getting inside the car.
"Hi, beautiful." Third smiled and spread his arms. "Come here, feel now your longing hug," he chuckled.
I scoffed. "Ang feeling mo!"
With that, I still get close to him for a warm embrace, sniffing my favorite scent on his fabric.
"Whatever you say." He kissed the side of my forehead.
He loosened his hug after some while. "What's up?" He held my chin up.
I sighed.
"Fighting... I guess. I haven't seen my parents this morning. I have no plans to talk to them yet. I- I just can't look at my Dad's eyes right now. Hindi ko pa rin kayang isipin na kaya niyang gawin 'yon... It's not just because of how he planned and meddle with my dream as well... I do care most about Mom... I wonder how she reacted to it? Bakit siya pumayag?"
He sighed and brushed the back of my hair. Hindi pa rin niya inilalayo ang mukha sa akin. "I don't really know, babe... But maybe she respects your father's decision. That's... how I hypothesize how marriage works. Value and respect."
I distanced myself from him. I removed his hand on my chin before I laughed.
Or just I thought so.
"Then I don't want to proceed in marriage. It shows a lot of conditioning."
"Babe."
He tried to reach me but I hold back. I placed my full weight on the seat and look out the window of the car. Nairita ako all suddenly. "I didn't see respect in that, Third? What are you talking about? I knew Mom. She wouldn't slip her passion effortlessly."
"Third," he emphasized.
I watched him crumple his forehead from my side view.
"Why do I feel you're starting to put the blame on me?"
"And why do I feel you're having my father's back?" I turned to him.
His lips twitched. "Why are you like that? I didn't mean any harm, Avi. I'm just trying to make you think what's the extension of the sitch. Don't you get it?"
"It's easy for you to say that. Yah, I get it." I mocked.
He scoffed. "Oh, c'mon. You're just heated. It isn't fair."
I rolled my eyes. "You started it! How can you just easily say that marriage works with respect when my father didn't value my mother's sentiment towards her job and passion? Dad knew that... And I can't quite imagine if Mom did respect that decision as to what you are saying!"
He paused and take a moment. I don't know but I know he's working on his patience. Tss.
He sighed and massaged his temple. "Okay, I'm sorry. I forgot people have different views to perceive things," he whispered.
"I... I just entirely see where your Dad's coming from; he told me how he desperately needs your help—and how you can support your company if you just pick a degree relevant to the business industry during your freshman year-"
He suddenly stopped talking when he saw my unbelievable look.
What now, Third? Wow. I... can't believe it!
"Y-you knew? So you knew about this?"
He opened his mouth but words didn't come out. He reached for my hand but I quickly avoided his touch. He gave me an expressive look, begging me to please listen to him. But my head is just too clouded by the continuous revelation. I can hardly process one.
"You didn't bother telling it to me!"
I don't know where my voice came from when my brain seems so lost.
"When? Kailan mo pa alam, huh?!" I covered my face to compose myself. "I wonder if you intend telling me this."
"Babe, listen..."
"You know how I value my dreams, Third... They're all valid to me and you know I was planning everything ahead and what's it like to be in my future after college! You know I wouldn't go with any kinds of shit just because I need to. It only does have to be if I want to!"
Tears started to pool in my eyes. I feel betrayed. He knew how dedicated I am. He knew how I could easily turn into fragile in a moment, when it's my passion and dreams are talking.
"How could you not tell it to me?! If you could've just told me, I just know it wouldn't hurt like this. It's not more painful to take! Pwedeng pang maagapan at kasuapin ko nang maaga pa lang si Daddy! But you proved me wrong because you choose not!"
"Baby, please..." He tried to reach me again but I was quickly able to trail out.
"You are all so cruel! Bakit niyo pinagsabay- sabay ang problema ko?!" I slammed the door of his car before tracing the way back inside the campus' gate. Upon turning, I saw again a familiar face. He was covered with a facemask and cap but I know it was the person I have repeatedly seen outside the gate. I just couldn't care now after what Third made me feel.
I'm weak of it. Exposed to it.
I thought he knew that.