Calum would like to think he's pretty smart. He'd like to think he can sense when his best friends are lying.
He's wrong, apparently.
He stares at Ashton's bunk with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. Ashton stares right back with a similar expression, like he though Calum wouldn't be able to find them. Like he thought Calum wouldn't just walk into the little room the holds the bunks and catch them in the act.
"Um," Calum says finally.
Michael finally pulls his face from Ashton's neck to reveal a string of hickeys from Ashton's jaw to his collarbones. He sets his cheek on top of Ashton's bare chest and smiles at Calum sleepily.
"Hiya," he says, like he hasn't just totally betrayed Calum.
"Hi?" Calum responds. He's still confused as to what he's looking at. Besides Michael and Ashton all cuddled up in the bunk right above his.
"You're welcome to join," Michael offers, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning shortly at Calum. Bus bunks were not made for more than one person, let alone three. Then again, Michael is laying directly on top of Ashton, so it's basically one person. They shift over with a small struggle and a few grunts of pain when Michael digs his elbows into Ashton's ribs. Calum crawls up into the bunk and lays on his side, wrapping an arm around Michael's waist gently.
"I didn't think you'd do it," Ashton admits, darting his eyes around nervously. Like Calum hasn't already noticed the hickeys.
"Yeah, well," Calum shrugs and ducks forward and rub his nose against Ashton's shoulder. "You guys never want to cuddle with me, I'll take what I can get."
"I cuddle with you all the time!" Ashton scoffs. Which is sort of true, honestly.
"Yeah, but never the three of us," Calum reminds him. Ashton hums in agreement and twists an arm around to wrap an arm around Calum's neck, tugging him closer and forcing Calum's face into his neck.
Michael starts shifting around again until he can press a sloppy kiss to Calum's shoulder. "You aren't wearing a shirt," he points out.
"I just took a shower, I was coming to get some clothes," Calum shrugs, accidentally hitting Michael in the mouth with his shoulder. Michael pouts.
"You smell nice," Ashton admits.
Michael's still pouting, so Calum leans over to press a chaste kiss to his bottom lip. Michael beams at him and sets his face back down on Ashton's chest happily.
The thin door slides open then, causing Ashton to suck in a sharp breath.
"Why are you all cuddling without me?" Luke demands.
"Band cuddles," Michael explains, looking up at Luke without moving his head. "We've got some bad news for you, Luke."
Luke scoffs and nudges Calum's back. "Shove over!"
"Luke, fuck off, we're shoved over as far as we can shove," Michael groans. "There is literally no possible way we could shove over anymore."
There's a slight pause and Calum can practically hear Luke scheming. He manages to get out, "Luke, no!" before Luke's crawling into the tiny bunk anyway, cramming himself on top of all three of them and wiggling around until his knobby limbs dig into practically every part of Calum's body. They all groan and yell at Luke, to no avail.
Luke manages to get himself comfortable, partially on top of Calum, partially on top of Michael, partially on top of Ashton, with his chin resting between Michael's shoulder blades and his left leg hitched over Calum's thigh. He sighs in content and says, "Right on top, where I should be."
Ashton groans. "I literally cannot breath. Fuck you guys, why am I on the bottom?"
"Because you're the oldest and we are all your children," Michael explains. Calum and Luke hum in agreement, while Ashton whines loudly and attempts to wiggle underneath them, failing terribly. After a slight pause, Michael tacks on a quiet, "daddy."
Ashton makes a horrified face.
°°°°
Calum's so fucked.
Calum's, like, ridiculously, incredibly fucked.
Calum grabs the boxers hastily from the hotel room bed and shoves them on forcefully, like they'll magically make her feel like a boy again.
She shoves on the most boyish outfit possible, ignoring her hair and makeup completely, and scowls while Ashton blinks himself awake from the only used bed in the room.
"You're wearing the shirt," Ashton says quietly, yawning a little and glancing up at Calum from his nest in the blankets.
"Yeah," Calum admits, glancing down at the shirt in question. It's one of Ashton's black muscle shirts with some wild, bug-eyed skull and a stupid, screamo rock band name underneath. Its the shirt Calum wears when she wants to be a boy. It practically screams boy and reeks of cologne and Ashton's boyish smell.
"Are you going to tell anyone?" Ashton asks, because he knows Calum only wears that shirt on his girl days.
"Maybe," Calum mutters under her breath. "Michael, probably."
Ashton pauses for a second, observing Calum's (Ashton's) black jeans and Calum's (Michael's) black combat boots. He frowns for a second, stretching the tense, awkward silence out even longer. "What about Luke?"
"No," Calum's scowls. Her hair is probably wild and fluffy and her face is probably red, but she can't do anything about it. Makeup is for girls. Hair straighteners are for girls. Pretty things, like the sparkling pink bow buried deep in her suitcase, are for girls.
Ashton shifts around until he's sitting up in the bed, the heavy white duvet falling down his bare chest and pooling in his lap. He rubs his eye sleepily and smiles at Calum so sweetly, Calum's pretty sure she's going to go into cardiac arrest. "I think you're beautiful, Cally," he says quietly. "You're very pretty, even in your boy clothes. Like a princess, my pretty little princess."
Calum's pretty sure her gravestone is going to say something along the lines of "Cause of death: Ashton Irwin".
She frowns, despite feeling bubbly and happiness rising in his chest and twitching the ends of her lips. "Stop," she demands, because she doesn't want to be a pretty fucking princess. She wants to be a bro, she wants to be a dude and hang out with Ashton and talk about dude things like football and girls asses.
"Sorry," Ashton lies through his stupid white teeth and runs a hand through his wild hair, biceps flexing and tight in the early morning. "Just thought you should know. Want me to call Mikey and Luke over?"
"No," Calum mutters angrily, dropping her voice to a whisper. She doesn't want Michael and Luke to know. They don't have to, she's wearing her boy clothes and her boy face. Who cares if the pronouns they use make her cringe? Who cares if the way they throw their arms around her shoulders and say things like "bro" and "man" make her squirm in her own skin?
Not Calum.
She glares when Ashton pulls out his phone and shoots off a text to Michael anyway. "You made me tell them about my touching thing. You can at least let them know what pronouns to use with you."
Calum glowers, but its really only fair. Ashton does have a point.
"But I'm a boy," she says firmly.
"Are you trying to convince me or you?" Ashton asks. Calum flips him off.
"I'm not a girl, so there's nothing to tell them," Calum protests. "I'm a boy, Ash, look at my boy clothes."
Ashton frowns at him for a second, flexing his jaw and scanning across Calum's face to make sure she's serious. "You're the most beautiful, incedible, fantastic little lady I've ever seen in my life. I want you to tell them who you are."
Calum practically whimpers. She really, really fucking loves Ashton. So fucking much.
There's a knock at the door before she can respond, then Luke and Michael bound in like excitable puppies, bouncing over each other and lunging onto the bed. They both pounce on Ashton and cuddle him close, all three of them giggling.
And Calum feels weird. She feels like she doesn't belong in her own band, because the other three are straight up male and comfortable with that. she's neither male nor comfortable. She can't be herself, she's a bro.
"Stop it!" Ashton bats the other two off and points wildly at Calum. "Cally has an announcement!"
Michael and Luke calm down enough to glance up at Calum expectantly, nuzzling further into Ashton's sides.
Calum swallows thickly and starts fidgeting, shifting around uncomfortably under her band mate's stares. She flicks her tongue out over her dry lips and glancing down at her heavy, manly boots, wishing they'd peel off her feet and rot in hell.
Finalky, after an encouraging smile from Ashton, she mutters the words shed never thought she would say, for the first time.
"I- I'm a girl," she whispers.
((I hope you all understand this, but if you don't, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS.
YOU WON'T SOUND DUMB, I SWEAR.
I WILL GLADLY ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS, NO MATTER HOW DUMB YOU THINK THEY ARE (they're not, I swear.)
I just want you all to understand this, and maybe even yourselves, the best you can! :)
-Mel))