*Pain*
It wasn't less than shock with what he has got to know. In one hand was Saudamini's letter while in other was his wife's. His eyes was glued on each word of the letter written on it. How did she thought that his happiness lies in Saudamini; how did she just went out of the house, out of his life without his, her husband's permission; and most importantly, who give her rights to decide where his happiness lies or what he wants.
And how can she decide to get out of this marriage on her own. The relationship is two way, than how can she.
He stumbles down letting Saudamini's fake letter fall and hugging Neeya's letter with tears rolling off his eyes.
"Anirudh beta!" Trilochan kneels down beside him holding him close to his chest. "Mai nhi rok paya kaka use.....wo chali gi..maine uske..uske baba ka vishwas todha...Ye sab...meri wjh se hua hai kaka....meri wjh se.."
Trilochan moves his head in no with teary eyes,"Nhi beta...isme tumhari galti nhi h aur nahi Bahu ke..jo hua so ho gaya. Samay ka chakra to nhi badal skte na, lekin beta; ab bhi kuch nhi bigdha h. Hum usey wapis la skte h. Wo ab bhi tumhare sath hai." Anirudh looks up at his kaka,"ha beta. Bahu ab bhi tumhare sath h, tumhare dil mai." "Nhi kaka...maine humesha uska dil dukhaya, maine use kabhi samjha hi nhi; aur wo, wo mere khushi ke lie mujhe chodh ke chali gi..."
"Beta, wo sirf khushi chahti hai. Use jo laga usne kia, lekin Anirudh, ab tumhe meri bahu, apni patni ko ghar wapis lana hoga. Wo bahut pyaar karti h tumse. Dekha h maine uske ankho mai, kitni chinta rehti h usey tumhari, tumhari har choti cheez ka dhyaan rakhti h." He says wiping tears off Anirudh's cheeks.
"Aur durga ma h na, wo sab theek kar dengi.." Anirudh nods,"Mujhe jana hoga kaka.. mujhe Neeya ko wapis lana hoga...use akela nhi chodh skta mai..." Anirudh speaks standing.
"Mujhe Neeya ko wapis lana hoga...mai aaraha hu Neeya..." "-Anirudh! Ruko!." Trilochan stops him.
"Kya hua kaka?" "Itni raat mai jaoge? Ye shi nhi h Anirudh. Kal subah nikal jana lekin abhi is samay bahu ke mayke jana shi nhi hoga." Anirudh thinks for awhile and then nods at him.
"Jake ao jao. Subah chale jana. Theek h?" He nods again and Trilochan leaves for his room while Anirudh walks to the balcony and starts gazing at the sky.
The sky was all black, but the soothing light of moon and twinkling stars made black sky look more beautiful, they make it more alive and thats what love is. It will make your life blossom with happiness and feeling of pure love. Thats what Neeya used to say. He recalls how Neeya used to stare at the sky, looking at the star, as according to her where you are, these star will always be above you to spread light in your surrounding; and there are these people who like star, always be with you during your dark days, bringing light kf love and happiness in it but Anirudh was feeling empty.
His heart, mind was only at one place,Neeya.
He was feeling guilty for never understanding his wife and the love for her, hurt as Neeya just left thinking it will make him happy but it only disd worse, anger of Saudamini breaking his trust, their childhood special and strong friendship, broken as he was missing her badly, he wanted to hold her in his arm and just confess how much he love her, how much she means to him; all kind of emotions were mixed up and he didnt know how to react.
That night, was the toughest and logest night of his life that he spent sleepless and only missing her..
"Anirudh... Anirudh beta..utho..." Trilochan tries to wake him up, who slept unknowingly in midnight while crying and at the balcony. There were marks of tears in his cheeks and his eyes were puffy and looking at his son in such situation.
Anirudh opens his eyes slowly, blinking. "Kaka??" He sits up and looks around to find himself at the balcony and then his eyes falls on the letter lying beside him; and everything hits back.
He jolts up,"kaka...mujhe jana hoga.." "ha beta. Tu taiyar ho ja, mai nashta-" "-nhi kaka. Mujhe kuch nhi khana. Mujhe bas Neeya ko ghar lana, shi salamat." And without saying or listening anything further, he runs to his room to get fresh.
That day was the haldi of Saudamini and Anirudh, but it just slipped off his mind. In two days, it was his marriage with Saudamini.
Saudamini walks to the haveli only to find Anirudh, fully dressed up walking downstair. "Anirudh? Tum kahi ja rhe ho kya?"
Anirudh looks up from his sleeve to see Saudamini looking at him confusingly. He recalls what she did and it made him angrier but he knew he has to control himself.
"Saudamini, mujhe kuch kaam h to jana hoga." Saying this he starts walking out but she stops him. "Tum mujhe Saudamini q bula rhe. Mai to tumhari Mini hu na? Aur phir, aaj hunari haldi h. Bhool gae?"she ask innocently.
Looking at her innocence, he just wanted to drag hee out of his life.
Anirudh wasnt getting what to answer, he knew if he spoke anything, he will lose his temper.
But this didnt go unnoticed by someone.
"Are Anirudh! Tum gae nhi?" Trilochan comes there with Bihari behind him. "Are kaka. Kaha ja rha h? Aaj to humari haldi h na." Anirudh keeps his hand in his pocket and looks away sternly.
"Saudamini wo kya h na ki humare kaarkhane ka kuch jaroori kaam aagaya h. To isilie. Par tum chinta na karo, bahut jald wo wapis aajaega, aur ise tumhare lie kuch upahar bhi lena h. Islie ja rha h."
Saudamini smiles happily,"upahar!?" She ask excitedly. "Ha. Aisa upahar jo jindagi bhar nhi bhoologi tum."
Trilochan notice Anirudh controlling himself.
Anirudh who was standing there, wasnt able to tolerate her fake innocence and her fakeself anymore. "Kaka mai jau ab?" He ask irritated.
"Acha humari baat suno. Tumhe pata h na ki shaadi se pehle dulha dulhan nhi mil skte." Saudamini nods. "To ghar jao. Ab tumhe Anirudh seedha mandap pe milega, upahar ke sath." She nods and goes from there.
Both sighs as she leave. "Kisey pata tha ki is gorey masoom chehre ke peeche ek daayan chupi hogi." He mutters.
Anirudh bends down and touches his feet. "Jao beta. Aur is haveli ki bahu aur humari beti ko wapis leke aao. Mera ashirwad humesha tumhare sath h." Anirudh nods and leaves from there.
▪️♣️▪️
Warning:-Mention of inappropriate place and actions regarding women. (See, i dont support such thing, but there is my motive behind writing such thing, which u will know at last.)
Flashback...
Neeya was lying unconscious in the backseat of the motor vehicle and infront seats was Indra and his man.
Yes, the person who hitted on her head was none other than Indra. After making her unconscious, he brought her to the Tulsipur station. There, Neeya woke up, with everything blurred around her.
She was shocked and more than nervous to see Indra front of her as she was already emotionally weak and broken and now Anirudh wasnt around her to save her again. She tries to run, scream; but somehow Indra and his men managed to make her drift off into unconsciousness with making her smell something.
She only remember to wake up the next day in a lavish haveli where there was only ladies. After asking, she got to know that she was in Sauratgarh and the place where she is, was one of the hellish place for women, it was brothel (kotha). There women are treated as man's shoes, their things that Britishers and Thakurs use to pleasure themselves and where women has to sell off their pride, their self respect, their body every day.
On inquiring more from the women, she got to know that the kotha was none other than of Indra's.
Since then, she has trapped herself in a room, protecting herself from the lustful eyes of men.
She even got to know few womens and knowing their story, she felt herself lucky to be daughter and wife of such an amazing people.
Every day she used to hear scream, ghungroo; but she never got herself out of the room, neither she ate anything.
"Anirudh ji!!..." Neeya jolts up, panting, with sweat on her face and tears rolling off her eyes. She closes her eyes only to see the same dream she was seeing continuously.
"Kya hua? Tum theek ho na?" A girl in her mid 20s ask her. Neeya wipes her tears away and nods. "Neeya. Tum mujhe kuch bhi bata sakti ho, janti ho na." The girl says sitting beside her,looking at her concerned. "Phir se boora sapna dekha kya?" Neeya nods crying. She hugs her, rubbing her back. "Shaant ho ja. Sab theek ho jaega."
Rabiya di, since the day she has come here, she has been really supportive and concerned for her. She is the one who knows almost everything about her and of crse Indra. Rabiya kept her away from all those devil lustful eyes in her room safe, as she was the head of all the girls group.
Neeya breaks the hug and looks at her,"Kuch theek nhi hoga Rabiya didi. Kuch bhi nhi....Jabse yaha aai hu, kaid hoke reh gai hu." "Mai samajh skti hu tujhe kaisa lag rha hoga.." Neeya stands up. "Mai jab se yaha aai hu, apne mera ekdum badi behn jaisa khyaal rakha h. Par didi, kya apko mann nhi karta yaha se nikalne ka? Yaha pe chaaron trf sirf kala, ghana andhera dikhta h, chaaro trf sirf shor h, aurat ki cheekhein aur haivano ki hansi. Aap ko ghutan nhi hoti?"
"Ghutan? Hoti h na. Bahar ki duniya dekhe hue arse ho gae. Ye diwaar, ye kamre hi humari duniya h, yaha ki cheekhein humari dard h jo inhi diwaron mai simat kar reh jati h, yaha ke ghungroo hi humare sangeet h, humare pairon ka taala h. Yha se nikalna, jaise jannat k galelagan h. Tumhe kya lagta h humne kabhi koshish nhi ki." Rabiya turns to her. "kuch ne ki, lekin tumhe pata h unhe kya mila badle mai? Samaaj ke taane, Beijjati, kalank, apshabd, apavitra naari aur chui hui ka naam aur sirf tadap." There was pain in her eyes. "Neeya aise samaaj mai rehne se accha to yeh chaar deewari h. Yha kam se kam koi hume kalankini to nhi kehta." Neeya walks to her and holds her hand in concern. "Mai samajh skti hu didi. Lekin jab humare apne, humara parivar h to hum samaaj ki q sune?-" "-Apne? Parivaar?" Rabiya started laughing making Neeya confused. "Chal mere sath." She takes Neeya's hand and takes her out of the room and to the kitchen.
"Ae! Saari ladkiya idhar aao. Chodho apne kaam." The girls who were working in kitchen gathers around her. "Dekho Neeya. Dhyaan se dekho inhe. Tumhe kya lagta h ye yaha q h? Apni marzi se? Nhi!" She points to a girl in 20,"Ye Saltanat h. Iske abbu ko beta chahie tha, lekin durbhagyapoorna se unhe beti mile. 18 saal peet peet ke, naukraniyo ke trh palne ke baad unhone ise yaha, is kothe mai bech dia."
Then she points to another girl,"Ye Swarna h. Iske shaadi ke baad iske sasural walo ne ise bahut maara peeta, julm kia qki iske ma baap ne dahez nhi dia tha. Aur akhir mai tang aakar, iske pati ne ise bech dia yaha."
"Ye..Ye Abheer hai. Aur tumhe pata h ye yaha 5 saal ki umra se h." Neeya looks on with wide eyes.
"Aise h apne log? Aisa hota h parivaar? Jaha ladki ko sirf bhoj samjha jata h nhi to khilona jise jab chaha istemal kia aue jab mann bhar gaya, tab phek dia aur bech dia. Aur tumhe kya lagta h Neeya, tum yaha aise hi lai gi ho? Nhi Neeya. Tumhe bhi becha gaya h." Neeya looks on. She was shocked to know this. "Mujhe...mujhe!!??....nhi..." Tears forms in her eyes.
Rabiya holds her by her shoulder,"yhi sach h Neeya. Tu bhi ek samaan ke trh bech di gi h....apne dida ke hantho!." Neeya doesnt answer. She didn't know what to answer. It was really hard for her to consume it. She knew dida hated her alot but she never thought she would stoop so low.
"To bolo. Jaha parivaar, samaaj aisa ho, waha se accha to yhi rehna h. Kam se kam yaha taane to nhi sun ne padhte. Yaha jeene to dia jata h."
Neeya closes her eyes in process of calming herself.
"Par iska matlab ye to nhi h na Didi ki aap apna imaan, apnj ijjat, apna jism aise bech de in haivano ko."
"Neeya...ijjat imaan to unki bechi jati h jinki hoti h. Humari ijjat to usi din khattam ho gi jab hume apno ne bech dia...ab hum kisi ke lie nhi h. Ab yhi humari duniya h. Aur ab tumhari bhi." She goes from there leaving Neeya alone with her thoughts.
She stumbles but balance herself. She was in utter shock knowing the truth.
Tears starts rolling off her eyes and she know that now she wanted to cry her heart out. She keeps hands on her mouth and runs off to her room and closes the door and kneels down.
(Dur Tak Hai Ek Udashi Aa Gai Me Kaha Re.)
She starts crying badly, with her heart pouring out all the pain and sadness through the tears. She wasn't able to believe where she is, the place that holds no respect, love for girls. And she is trapped here..
(Aatma Tak Kampti Hai Koi Na Mera Yaha Re..)
Her heart was throbbing. There was so much pain, so much sadness, but she didnt know where to take it out.
She was scared for herself, she was scared of all those prying eyes outside this room, she was scared of the walls of the kotha, she was scared of everything, even herself.
(Ek Dabi Si Aanch Man Main Darra Darra Sa Dhuaan Re...)
She recalls her life with her baba who was her life and her strength, her life with Anirudh ji whom she loved the most, her kaka ji who was more than father to her. She just wanted to see their face. She wanted to hug Anirudh so badly and confess him every feelings.
(Nark Jaisi Ye Jagah Hai Kon Mujko bachhaye......
Bhid Me Abb Dhundhoo chehara Tera..)
She wanted to scream but she doesnt, she just cried and now her face was all red with tears, her eyes were red and puffy and she wanted to cry more but seems like theres no one to listen. She was missing her husband so much that she wish she could see his face one time...
(Rishta Tera Mera
Rishta tera mera..
Rishta teraa meraa...
Rishtaaa teraaaa...meraaaaa....)
▪️♠️▪️
Anirudh walks to Neeya's house, feeling flatter and overwhelming, eager to meet his wife. There was glow of pure happiness on his face and so much live in his eyes.
His heart was throbbing in excitement to see her, to confess to her, to hug her and pour all of his love to her.
He was walking and just thinking of every moment he had with his wife. He recalls the day they met for the first time, saved her Ma amd how they both slept there, in each other arm. He recalls how she hurted her leg once and he picked her up in bridal style and applied cream on her leg and made her wear her anklet that fell off; he recalls dancing with her in rain; he recalls sleeping together and their lil fights; recalls her mimicking of him and most importantly her stubbornness.
He stopped midtrack just recalling all those beautiful moments of his life and was standing there thinking how will he confess to her, what he will, will he hug her first, ask her how she is or what. But deep inside he know, that when she will come infront of her, he will be numb of her Beauty and innocence.
"Anirudh dada!!!" The childish thin sweet voice brings him out of his thought. It was Misha. "Misha?" "Anirudh dada aap agae?" He nods and then notice that she wasn't happy and wasn't tweeting like she used to.
"Kya hua Misha? Koi baat h kya?" "Dada....wo... Neeya didi..." This makes him nervous and he quickly kneels down holding her softly. "Kya hua Neeya ko?"
She just looks at the ground. "Bolo Misha. Kya hua h tumhari Neeya didi ko?" The glow which was visible on his face was now replaced by the worry lines on his forehead and nervousness.
"Dada...wo...Neeya didi ko gaon walo ne nikal dia.." Anirudh looks on. He wasn't able to speak anything. He was just numb.."K..Kya?...q?" He was nervous but he didnt know that whatever he was going to hear would shatter him.
Misha tells him everything how villagers got Neeya out of her house and started throwing garbages and Stones at her; how they badly treated her by applying black ink on her face; how they humiliated her and than threw her out of the village.
Hearing this, he stumbles on the ground. All his happiness was gone, his heart which was full of excitement, happiness and love, was fully shattered.
"Dada.??.." Anirudh looks at Misha,"Misha..aisa...q?.." he wasnt able to speak as lump was forming in his throat. He was feeling pain and heaviness in his heart.
"Pata nhi dada..par Ma keh rhi thi ki wo chodhi hui aurat h, aur chodhi hui aurat acchi nhi hoti. Dada apne unhe chodh dia h kya?" She asked him innocently.
Anirudh just looks at her in disbelief, feeling guilty, with his red puffy eyes,"nhi....nhi...nhi mai nhi chodh skta use...kabhi nhi..." While saying this he hugs Misha, crying.
He wasnt able to consume all this, he wasnt able to believe what Neeya had gone through just cuz of him and Saudamini, cuz of his happiness..
He was feeling like Neeya was going away from him, very far and this was making him more scared and broken.
He wipes his tears away and break the hug. "Dada..wo bahut ro rhi thi...aap unhe wapis laenge na? Humari didi ko wapis laenge na?" Lump in his throat was making it hard for him to speak, but still he spoke,"ha beta....mai...mai launga tumhari Neeya didi ko....humari Neeya ko...."
He stands up and starts walking. A broken heart person, who came to this village happily, in excitement to meet his wife, was now shattered, his dream of meeting her, his heart who wanted to scream to her how much he loves her, was shattered. His eyes just wanted to see her, take her smile in.
When he reach the village, he saw the preparation going on full swing for
He reach to the house and stands there numb, staring at the house door, wishing that anytime Neeya will come out of her room running to him calling him out as "Mr Khadoos" and starts complaining again. He wish it would have been not only wish, but reality. He was just staring at the door that maybe, she will come out, but she didnt.
"Anirudh babu?" Anirudh comes out of his thought to see Neeya's dida.
"Neeya kaha h?" He ask impatiently.
"Q? Ab kyu aae h aap uske lie? Jab chodh ke gae the tab mann nhi bhara aapka ki ab aap phir aagae?" Dida partly shouts on him making him wince.
"Aap aisa kaise bol skti h? Patni h wo meri. Bataie kaha h wo? Bataie!"
"Chali gai wo! Yhi chahte the na aap. To chali gai wo. Ab aap bhi jaie." She says sternly joining her hand.
Anirudh wasn't in his sense and he knew how Dida is, greedy, selfish and she never liked her and how much superstitious she is.
"Aap hi ne kia h kuch uskey saath. Aap kabhi usey psnd nhi karti thi. Apne kabhi usey taane aur nafrat ke siwa kuch dia hi nhi h. Bataie kaha h Neeya?" Anirudh ask controlling his temper.
"Wah wah! Uska haath apne chodha, usey ghar se nikal kar beghar kar dia; aur humne usey ghar dia, sahara dia usey, khane peene ko dia aur aap kehte h humne kuch kia h? Usey chodh kar 'chodhi hui' ka naam ka kalank aapne dia, uska apmaan kia aur aap hume dosh de rhe?." Anirudh looks on. He wasnt getting what to answer; infact he was feeling guilty, hurt and hatred of what he did.
He feels presence behind him. He saw many villagers standing there. Looking at them, he recalls what Misha told him of all the thing they did to Neeya, which made him more angrier.
"Kya ho gaya? Ab q aarahe h? Mat aaie. Jaie!. Gaon se bahar nikal ke aae the na Neeya ko? Chali gai ab wo. Ab badi shaan se durga pooja ka utsav manaie... Bade gaurav ke sath durga ma ki murti ko saja dhaja kar laie. Par...Yaad rakhiye aaj jaha ek trf ek Durga Mata ko ghar la rhe h, Aap log ne ek durga, jo is gaon ki beti thi, usey is gaon se uska mooh kala karke, uska apmaan karke nikala hai. Inhi hantho se bahar nikal dia h aap sabne usey."
He sighs in anger.
"Inlog se kya kahu? Asli gunhegar to mai hu Neeya ka." He mutters.
"Jante hai Q?....Qki mai apne joothe ghamand mai tha. Mujhe lag rha tha ki mai Neeya ka saath de rha hu uske baba ke sapna poora karne mai. Maine usey kabhi samjha hi nhi balki sirf usney mujhe samjha, meri khushi samjhi mera pyaar samjha aur isilie meri Neeya mujhe chodh kar chali gai..... Wo mujhe samjha gai ki asli pyaar kya hota h...
Neeya nhi, mai hua chodha hua..." Anirudh cries on.
*Everyone looks on*
"Ha! Mai hu Chodha Hua admi. Marie mujhe! Kijie mera har apmaan, wo har tiraskar kijie jo apne Neeya ke sath kia tha.....Bolie Na! Chillaie!! 'ANIRUDH ROY CHOUDHURY CHODHA HUA ADMI HAI!!'"
*No one say anything and just looks down* There Sujata was sitting in her room crying, and listening to him.
".....Bolie kya kya apmaan kar rhe the Neeya ka. Ye...*picks up the garbage lying on the side*...Ye kachra phenkie mere uppar. Phenkie Na...Lagaie mere mooh pe kala rang...ye ye gobar... *He in anger picks the cow dung* LAGAIE NA...KARIE NA....KARIE WO HAR APMAAN JO AAP NE NEEYA KA KIA.....KARIE JO AAP EK CHODHI HUI AURAT KE SAATH KARTE H....CHODHA HUA ADMI HU MAI....KARIE NA..." He shouts at them, but actually he was pouring out all of his sadness which was now converted into rage of fire.
"Ye kya baat kar rhe h aap chote malik? Aadmi ko chodha hua nhi kaha ja sakta." And old man says.
Anirudh looks at him in disbelief.
"Shi kaha apne. Chodha hua, vidhwa, apavitra aur na jane kya kya sirf aurto ke lie h. SIRF AURTO KE MAATHE HI MARNE KE LIE HAI YE SAARE NAAM.....ADMIYO KE LIE KUCH NHI!? Aisa durwyawahar q?.. SIRF AURTO KE SATH AISA ANYAY Q? BATAIE?" He was just fed up of these social myths of society and today just cuz of this, his Neeya wasn't with him.
He turns to everyone one by one, pointing his finger, shouting,"AAP...AAP...AAP...AAP.....
KYA AAP MAI SE KOI BHI BINA AURAT KE JINDAGI KI KALPANA KAR SAKTA H?.....BATAIE NA? KEH SAKTA H KOI?...." Again no answer. They were just standing there.
"Nhi na?....Qki zindagi dene wali ek aurat hi hoti h. Humari zindagi ka adhaar hoti h aurat."
The hot tears escape his eyes.
"Har aurat kisi ki Ma hoti hai, kisi ki Behn hoti h, kisi ki beti hoti hai to....kisi ki Patni hoti h...Meri patni mujhe chhhodkar chaligayi....." He cries all his heart out.
"Aur abhaagi ya kalnakini chodhi hui aurat nhi hoti, abhaagi wo hota h...jisne usey chodha, jiske wjh se usne chodha...aur uska jeeta jagta udharan mai hu...apke samne..*he says opening his hand wide crying* Aaj mai dhang se kisi se najre nhi mila pa rha....Chodhi hui aurat apshaguni ya apavitra nhi hoti h, pidhita hoti h. Aisi Samaaj ke karan piddhita hoti h wo.
Neeya ko meri ya aapki, hum me se kisiki bhi daya ya sahare ki koi jarurar nahi thi. Apni ladhai khud ladh sakti thi Neeya.
Use kuch chahiye tha toh bas
apna aur apni ma ka sammaan, swabhimaan....aur apne baba ka sapna poora karna chahti thi wo...Phir kyu jeene nahi diya Meri Neeya ko.....Hum sab gunehgaar h Neeya ke.." he stumbles down crying badly....
He was feeling guilty of not sensing the love she has for him, those little thibgs she did for him just to make him happy, whether it was cooking his favourite saundesh for him, or whether it was motivating him, she always stood beside him like his shadow...
(Mene kaha tha sath rahuga Banuga me Tera saya..)
But he always felt guilty of that he never did anything for her.
He recalls his marriage with her, that filling her hairline, promising her to be with her for her whole life. But did he? No..
(Par Tere sang kuch kadam bhi Mai nahi chal paya...)
He recalls her lil craziness and stubbornness. She never wanted anything but for him to be happy.
The pain, the emptiness, the sadness he was feeling inside was just something no one can describe. But it was one othe most painful moment of his life...
(Tu sahi thi Teri uljhan Mai samaj hi na paya...)
"Meri patni...mera pyaar mujhse door ho gaya...."
He was missing her so badly. He just wanted her in his arm, wanted her to tease him, mimick him, irritate him.... be with him...
(Tu gai to Kyu na Jane Koi kami si lage re..
Mere Dil me jaga dard Tera...)
(Rishta Tera Mera
Rishta tera mera..
Rishta teraaa meraaa..
Rishtaaa teraaaa meraaa....)
"Kaun si patni ki baat kar rhe h aap Jam- Anirudh babu?" Sujata ask coming forward, wiping her tears away.
Anirudh was taken aback. He looks at Sujata with teary eyes.
She can clearly be seen in shock. Her eyes were puffy red and her cheeks, nose were also red with continuous crying. Seeing her in this condition, made him feel more guilty and broken.
"Wo apki koi patni nhi h..!.."
She turns to the villagers,"kaha h meri shona?....KAHA H MERI NEEYA?.." She stumbles lil and Anirudh moves to hold her, but Sujata stops him,"Nhi!"
"Rehne dijie Anirudh Babu..humara ab koi rishta nhi h.....Kaha the aap jab in logo ne meri shona ka apmaan kia...uske atmavishwas ko todha...use apshabd kahe...kaha the aap jab inlogo ne uska mooh kala karke usey gaon ke bahar phenka....KAHA THE JAB USEY AAPKI SABSE JYADA JAROORAT THI?" Anirudh didn't speak anything but he knows that every word was correct. "Bahut bharosha karti thi na aap pe wo...pyaar karti thi aapse....par apne usey kabhi samjha?. Anirudh looks on with teary eyes.
Uskey pyaar ko samjha?." Anirudh looks on with tears rolling off his eyes. His heart was heavy already and now it was shattering into pieces. "Nhi na! Aur wo pagli sirf apke aur apke khushi ke baare mai sochti rhi.."
Sujata turns to the villagers,"KHADHE Q H AAP LOG? Yhi chahte the na aaplog ki Neeya chali jae...to chali gi wo...kaise log h aap sab. Ek ma ko apni beti ke sath ek pal nhi baithne dia....KAISA SAMAAJ H YE JAHA AURTO KO INSAAN NHI SAMJHA JATA....SAMAAN SAMJHA JATA H! Jab chaha apne paas rakh lia aur jab chaha usey phenk dia....Lekin yaad rakhiega jab ek Ma ka dil toot ta h, jab ek Ma roti h na, tab sirf tabaahi aati h.!." More tears roll off her eyes. She was angry, angry for losing her child, angry on villagers, angry on Anirudh, angry on this whole world. She just wanted to see her daughter and dulaar her, nothing more but just to listen her voice, see her smiling face...
She starts coughing and Anirudh runs inside and bring glass of water and slowly holds out to her,"Ma..paani..."
Sujata doesn't look at him or at the glass but just threw it away in anger.
She was not in sense but she sees Anirudh as only prime reason due to which her daughter isn't with her.
Anirudh kneels down beside her joining his hand, crying,"Mujhe maaf kar dijie Ma....mujhe maaf kar dijie...agar aap mujhe maaf nhi kar sti to mujhe saja dijie ma.......lekin aisa khud ko saja mat dijie.m" "Nhi! Nhi karungi apko maaf...aur yhi apki saja h." Saying this she walks inside with the support of walls, dida following her inside.
Anirudh walks inside slowly with heavy heart. He can hear Ma crying badly. He really want to do something so that he can push all her pain away, but he know somewhere it was his mistake.
"Q aae h aap yaha??...jab mann kia chale aanege maafi mangne?...apne dil ko bhoj hatane...kitna asaan hota h na admiyo ke lie? Bataie jam- Anirudh babu.. bataie na." Anirudh was standing there with his heavy heart. He wasn't having courage to look in her eyes, to look at her in tears. And her calling him Anirudh babu, was stabbing him more..
"Nhi ma....mere dil ka bhoj tab khattam hoga jab Neeya mere saath meri patni ke roop mai, khushi khushi humare ghar jaegi..."
He wipes his tears away and walks to the mandir of the house where Durga ma idol was kept, and diyas were flamed.
He joins his hand and then takes the diya in his hand and walks to Sujata to kneel down beside her.
"Mai vachan deta hu...Mai Neeya ko wapis leke aaunga apke paas.
Usne ghar mere lie chodha h na, to jab tak mai Neeya ko na le aau, mai bhi ghar nhi jaunga.... Mera vachan h apko ma."
"Mai bhi aaungi apke saath apni Shona ko dhoodne.."
"nhi ma..janta hu apka vishwas todha h maine..par mujhe ek mauka dijie.. wo jaha kahi bhi hogi, usey dhoond ke wapis launga mai..ek mauka aur de dijie ma...ek akhiri bar vishwas kar lijie mera...." He begs crying.
Sujata nods.
Anirudh joins his hand wiping his tears away,"aap aram kijie ma...mai apki shona ko leke aaunga...." "Par...par kaise dhoodenge aap usey...kaha dhoodenge...?"
Anirudh thinks for awhile and then he recalls something,"Neeya kehti thi ki agar kabhi koi rashta na mile, to Durga ma pe bharosha karna chahie. To ab wo hi rasta dikhaengi...Agar mera pyaar saccha hoga, to Durga Ma mujhe rasta dikhaengi.... Uska pyaar khud mujhe apne paas bulaega..rasta dikhaega..."
Anirudh stands up and walks to the mandir and keeps the diya down at its place and joins his hand,"mai vada karta hu Neeya, tum jaha kahi bhi hogi, mai tumhe dhoond ke launga aur apne sath tumhe tumhara haath thamkar humhare ghar leke aaunga. Shi salamat."
He walks to Sujata and touches her feet,"Mujhe ashirvad dijie Ma ki mai humari Neeya ko wapis la saku..."
Sujata nods and keeps her hand on his forehead,"jaie jamai babu..humari Neeya ko leke aaie....mera ashirvad apke sath h humesha..."
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38th part will be uploaded tonight or by tom morning and i promise that part is going to be Neeyarudh reunion and confession and something more.
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