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"ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"
Sekido picks up his head to look at you, but he was met with a smack upside the head with every word.
"OW! Hey! Wh-What the hell are you-"
"-You think you're fucking slick, huh?!" You smack him on his shoulder, "You think I don't know what the hell you just said?!"
"Calm the fuck down-"
You grab Sekido by the back of his head and bring it back down to the floor.
"Ah! Dude! What-"
("Kinky." Sanemi huffs quietly under his breath, which gains a questionable look from Uzui since his hearing was flamboyant.)
"-You're not sending me back home! We made a deal! If we're going to be punished, we're dealing with it together!" You shout, "You can't-you can't just-"
"I'm trying to protect you!-"
Your strength was no match for Sekido, so he was able to lift himself back up while you kept trying to push him down.
Plus, he was in his normal size now, so it was harder to push him down, anyway. He didn't hit you back though, since he could actually hurt you.
"-I want you to live!" Sekido reasons.
"If I was worried about dying, I wouldn't have become a Demon Slayer! If I was worried about dying, then I would've asked you to take me back the moment you offered!" You finally remove your hand from his head.
"It's not about if you mind it or not!" Sekido argues, "We're friends, right?! And friends are supposed to help each other!"
"So then help me!" You plead, "Help me come up with something so we can both stay!"
("This is like a dramatic play I've seen once." Sanemi leans to his left and whispers to Kyojuro who was next to him, "It's getting good right now. Watch, she's gonna slap him."
Kyojuro furrows his eyebrows and slowly turns to look at Sanemi who was immersed in your 'play'.)
"I don't want you to stay if it means you'll be in greater danger-"
You effectively cut Sekido off with a slap.
(Sanemi gasps quietly, "I told you! She's gonna insult him now!")
"-You fucking idiot!" You shout, "This isn't something you decide on your own!"
(Kyojuro wonders how the fuck Sanemi knew this. No, he wondered how many plays Sanemi has seen.)
"Don't be so eager to get rid of me," You lower your voice while shucking off your backpack since your back was hurting, "We do this together. We fight together. We survive together. Or we die together. That's what it means to be a friend, Sekido."
("She just told him that they're going to go through with this together." Sanemi whispers to the Flame Pillar, "It's classic one-liner before he realizes she's right and gives in.")
Sekido sighs and chuckles, "Fine, we'll do this together. But if we survive this, I want to be carried in an expensive ass box, alright?"
(Sanemi slowly nods his head, "Classic."
Uzui, who has amazing hearing, heard all of Sanemi's commentary, had to hold himself from clapping at the scene you and Sekido performed.
Kyojuro was just confused at the sudden revelation that Sanemi was a fucking Theater Nerd.)
"Ubuyashiki still hasn't decided how to proceed, don't be so eager to give up!" You frown at the demon.
You take this time to unhook your kama from your belt since the hilt was getting pushed into your side uncomfortably.
"(Y/n) is right," Ubuyashiki smiles, "Sekido, what's the longest you've gone without eating a human?"
Sekido frowns, "The longest? 87 years."
"87 years? How many people have you eaten?" Ubuyashiki asks.
"I'm 171 years old, but I've been a demon for 150 years. And in that time, I've only ever eaten 4 people. The taste of humans disgust me, emotionally and literally, so I've only eaten them when my life was in jeopardy to fall into the hands of Kibutsuji Muzan. Other than that, I'm not tempted to eat them." Sekido scratches the back of his head.
"You're a 171 year old demon, and you've managed to stay alive all this time with only devouring 4 humans?" Ubuyashiki hums, "I can tell you're a strong demon, yet your energy is extremely limited. How has Muzan not found you yet?"
Sekido scoffs, "That Michael Jackson rip off could never find me, I'm too smart! Also, Muzan is too predictable and he makes a scene everywhere he goes. It's actually pretty easy to avoid him."
You laugh quietly when Sekido called Muzan by the OG name.
"Say his name again," Ubuyashiki orders.
"Who? Kibutsuji Muzan? It's weird, isn't it? It doesn't even sound like a real name," Sekido insults.
Ubuyashiki hums quietly before turning his head to face the Pillars, "I've come to a decision. (Y/n), Sekido, you two listen closely."
You and Sekido, as well as the Pillars, lean forward to hear his conclusion.
"Muzan possesses the ability to put a curse onto the demons he creates," Ubuyashiki says, "If any demon says his name out loud, the curse activates and destroys them. Unless the demon is free from Muzan, then they are able to say his name however they like."
Ubuyashiki turns his head slightly to face Sekido's direction, "Sekido had said Muzan's name three times already, and I'm sure he's said it other times before, and here is Sekido. Still in one piece."
"I've decided that Sekido and (Y/n) will continue as they are, so that we have more hands to help defeat Muzan, and so that Sekido can keep (Y/n) alive. (Y/n) -and now Sekido as well- will continue to fight as Demon Slayers. And I would like you all to accept it as well."
You feel relief absolutely FUCK your body in ways you never knew were possible. Sekido as well, as he fell back to lay down.
"Even if it's what you desire, Master, I... cannot fully agree to it." Gyomei cries.
You feel your soul shatter.
Fuck, you forgot that there are stubborn people here.
It actually hurt your feelings a bit because you thought Gyomei would at least be on your side since he was the other person who knew who you really were.
"I don't trust either of them, I don't trust them," Iguro frowns, "This demon has killed people, no matter if it was only 4 people."
"Well, I flamboyantly agree with you, Master!' Uzui states, "This demon has devoured people, though it's been 23 years since he has done it! I'm sure he can keep that up if (Y/n) keeps him in check!"
"I shall do whatever it is you wish, Master!" Mitsuri fawned, "The demon was so cute!"
"I'm fine either way... since I'm going to forget anyway...and since he's keeping a member alive..." Muichiro says.
"I respect your decision, Master!" Kyojuro grins, "I will accept both of them with open arms!"
"Simp." Sekido mutters.
"Sekido is... sometimes a polite demon," Shinobu says, "And he's extremely cooperative. I'm sure he won't purposely cause harm to another human. I'll do whatever you wish, Master."
"I'll accept them, as well." Giyuu, who you totally forgot was here, spoke up.
Everyone waited for the most terrifying Hashira to speak up.
"... If it weren't for the fact that Sekido saved the lives of two Demon Slayers from an Upper Moon, I would have opposed it as well," Sanemi sighs, "I'll agree with your decision, Master."
Everyone was surprised how easy it was or Sanemi to accept you and Sekido.
Sanemi, the Wind Pillar. Who was so eager to kill Nezuko, the demon who has never hurt a human. Sanemi, the Wind Pillar. Who is willing to keep Sekido alive, the demon who has killed 4 humans.
"Ohhhhh!" Sekido cheers, "That's 7 against 2, bitches!"
Sekido looks at you and raises his hand for a high five. To which you eagerly complied.
"The Power of Fucking Friendship right there!" You cackle.
"It's not over yet, (Y/n) and Sekido," Ubuyashiki interrupts, "There is still Gyomei and Obanai who have yet to accept you two."
"What? Why not? I thought we made a good point that I was like, a mediocre demon." Sekido whines.
"There is no guarantee that you won't suddenly attack a human out of starvation," Gyomei supplies, "And when that day comes-"
"-When that day comes? You seem so certain of that future, are you clairvoyant?" Sekido interrupts, "Last time I remembered, I got punched through the chest and healed myself when I could. And (Y/n) was bleeding to her death, I wasn't tempted to eat her. In fact, her blood made me sick."
"Gee, thanks."
"Shut up." Sekido was quick to quip back, "I haven't eaten a human in 23 years and Shinazugawa's blood doesn't do shit to me. His blood smells like an old man after a long day at the bar."
Sanemi was offended: "Fuck you! I smell good!"
Sekido scrunches his face in pure disgust, "I fucking hate Marechi blood the most."
"You could be giving us lip service for all we know," Iguro protests, "There is no way a demon can resist Marechi blood."
"Oh my fucking God," You groan quietly, "Must we do this song and dance again?"
"Sekido is not an innocent demon. He's eaten people, but it doesn't mean he's a bad person. Why would he go out of his way to save Kyojuro and I, if it would literally make no difference to Sekido?" You huff as you sit in a cross legged position with your haori to cover your front, "In fact, Sekido knows his life would be so much simpler if he had just let me die. He's not responsible for my life, but he cares about me anyway. Isn't that enough to prove that he's good? Or at least trying to be?"
"Yes, Sekido was the one to bring (Y/n) here," Ubuyashiki nods, "Sekido said he could take (Y/n) back at any time. Why would he go through all the trouble to protect someone, when he could quite literally get rid of the problem? I think that is enough to show that Sekido could be trusted."
"As you wish..." Gyomei replies.
"... As you wish..." Iguro sighs.
Sekido looks at you with a stupid smile and pulls you by the shoulders to hug you: "Oh my God! I didn't think we'd actually survived! I have never been more happy to know I'll wake up the next day!"
"Wow! That really fills me with confidence!" You reply in a facetious manner as you hug the demon back.
"And that concludes our business with Sekido and (L/n) (Y/n)," Ubuyashiki smiles, "Gyomei, Tengen, Kyojuro, Sekido, and (Y/n), please stay back. Everyone else, you're all dismissed."
Everyone gets up and starts to converse with each other for a small moment to discuss what had just happened. The three Pillars who have been called walked over and got up on the engawa.
"Sekido, you should shrink down," You grin, "You were so cute as a little baby!"
Sekido pouts, "Eat shit."
"Hey, but playing dramatic really saved our asses." You smile, "Plan B was a success!"
Yep.
That's right.
In the early morning after your heart-to-heart with Sekido, you two made a plan, well two plans.
Plan A: Tell them what you needed, and hoped that was enough to convince them to let you live.
Plan B: Act dramatic to sell the story that you two actually cared about living when you didn't really give a shit.
You didn't prepare much after that since you got tired.
"(Y/n)! Sekido!" Kyojuro calls to you as he walked over to you and the demon, "That was quite a trial! I'm glad to know it went in the direction I was hoping for."
"Hi, Kyojuro! It's nice to know that I'll live to see another day." You grin as you stand up.
Sekido stands up next you, towering you and Kyojuro with his height.
"Right! Now you have six people to watch over!" Sekido chuckles.
"Six?" Kyojuro asks.
Sekido nods, "(Y/n) told me that you asked Tanjiro to be your tsuguko! And that you accepted Zenitsu and Inosuke to be trained by you as well! And that you were willing to help train (Y/n) to better her swordsmanship. And me and her, we're a packaged deal. So that's Me, (Y/n), Nezuko, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke! Yep! Six!"
Kyojuro can feel the dread sink in.
He did say all that, didn't he? Tanjiro, Nezuko, and you, he didn't mind. But after getting to properly know Zenitsu and Inosuke during the week you were out, made him realize how chaotic everyone was together.
"Whaoh, what'd you tell him? He looks ready to shit his pants!" You laugh.
"Although," Sekido leans an elbow on Kyojuro to whisper to him, "If you can successfully handle all of that, (Y/n) would definitely admire how hard you work to help everyone. She likes people who are selfless like that."
Sekido wasn't trying to help Kyojuro. He was trying to cause conflict for Tanjiro since that would be hilarious.
Kyojuro can feel his face heat up as he tries to laugh off the flustered feeling in his chest.
"Well, of course I can do it all! I'm the Flame Pillar, after all!" Kyojuro laughs a little too loud.
"(Y/n)! Sekido! Rengoku!" Uzui calls, "Let's go inside."