Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru [DISCON...

By GabrielXander

1.1M 71K 104K

[Check my profile for the new version of this story!!] [This is so... I wrote this when I was 16 ๐Ÿ˜ญ] [KnY Var... More

DISCLAIMER
1: Fuck, Am I Screwed?
2: America Doesn't Suck When You're In An Anime
3: Did You Hate Inosuke, Or Did You Just Need To Go To Sleep?
4: The Fuckening
5: I Thought You Were American
6: Gurenge
7: I've Been Breathing The Wrong Way, But Honestly, What Else Is New?
8: In This World, It's Milk Or Be Milked
9: Itsy Bitsy Spider Is 'Bout To Catch These Hands
10: And "T" Is For Trauma!
11: If You Like The Big Boobies, You Are Prone Get Titty Whipped
12: Where's My Epic Background Music?
13: Knock Knock! Get The Door! It's Depression!
14: youtu.be/gGaRVoM6PFw
15: The Flame Pillar Wants Some Fuck
16: Are You The Prophet Now?
17: The Calm After The Storm
18: The Flame Pillar Wants Some Fuck Part 2
19: The Fuckening The Sequal
20: Bleeding To Your Death
21: I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It! It Tasted Like Iridocylitis!
22: Be A Bro And Don't Break The Code
23: Task Failed Successfully
24: Not Much Has Happened, But You Do Cry Again
25: ABSOLUTELY NOT FLAMBOYANT
26: The Ultimate Crossover (Not Really)
27: You Can't Have Nice Things
28: Please Spare Tanjiro Some Coochie?
29: Simpjiro Has A Twin Names Pimpjiro
30: Please Explain Everything To Me!
31: Good Evening, Rengoku-San!
32: Maybe Kyojuro Was The REAL Simp All Along
33: Are You Sure You Wanna Ride This Train?
34: It's Like High School Without The Musical
35: Bleeding To Your Death But For Real This Time
36: The Worse Case Scenario
37: There Is Mistrust, And There Is Realization
38: This Is Gospel
39: Do You Want To Go Back Home?
40: And So Things Were Decided
41: You Are Sekido's Friend
42: The Joint Trial Of The Demon Slayer Pillars
44: You Royally Fuck Up In More Ways Than One
45: All That's Happened Recently
46: Stoners Working The Graveyard Shift At Fast-Food Joints Are Fucking Cool
47: What In The Actual Fuck
48: On This Chapter Of (Y/n) Reacts: Your Life As A Manga Character
49: Life Isn't Always What You'd Think It Be
50: You Fucking Body Slam A Cop
51: Freedom From A Heavy Burden
52: Sanemi Thinks You're Okay
53: A Gift From Me To You
54: Unnecessarily Bittersweet Goodbyes
55: Senjuro ๐Ÿฅบ
56: No Time To Rest
57: The Truth Come Out: Does (Y/n) Is Clairvoyant?
58: If He Likes Feet, Say: "Fuck It, Sweep Me Off Them."
59: Koi No Yokan
60: Bipolar Demon
61: Your Own Fucked Up Fairytale
62: Story Time
62.5: Atsushi Kลrenki
63: Define Monachopsis
64: 'Cause I Might Not Say It Back
65: Upper Moon Demons
66: You Should Become A Demon!
67: I Hate You
68: Bรฉsame
69: Nice Lmao
70: This Shouldn't Be A Surprise
70.5: (เน‘>โ—ก<เน‘)
71: The Shinazugawa Brother
72: The Other Shinazugawa Brother
73: Insult Simulator
74: You Finally Get Some Coochie
75: Build Up For The Worst
76: Is That A Rush Hour Reference?
77: Sana Sana Colita De Rana
78: Love Me Now, Panic Later
79: Suspicious Cold Sore Red
80: Tanner Stain Orange
81: Court-Ordered Urine Sample Yellow
82: Marijuana Green
83: Pregnancy Test Blue
84: Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Purple
85: Bong Water Brown
85.5: Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Baffling Disappearance Of (Y/n) (L/n)
86: Moral Ambiguity Grey
87: Tropical Ointment White
88: HAPPY HALLOWEEN BITCHES
(Y/n) (L/n) Sings All Of The Words In The English Language
89: Void Of Existential Anguish Black
90: Mommy's Bright Red Stretch Marks
91: Hulk's Cum
92: Things We Can Have But Can't Keep
93: Knock Knock! Who's There? Boobs!
94: Short And Sweet
95: Home Is Where The Trauma Is
OFFICAL ART (?)
96: What Is Your Life?
97: The Endless Darkness Of The Ocean Is Becoming Tempting To Dive Into
98: Beyonce Would NEVER Treat Me Like This
99: You Won't Believe This False Hope
100: Went From 0-100 Real Quick
101: Go Beyond Plus Ultra-Fucked
102: Homura
103: Gotcha Bitch
104: The Filler
105: You Know The Rules And So Do I
106: So Pretty It Pisses Me Off
107: We Can Dance Among The Stars
OWMS DELETED SCENES
108: Your Titties Look Heavy Let Me Hold Them For You
109: You Did A Wonderful Job
110: There Are Sadder Ways To Learn About Death
111: Death And All His Friends
112: RIP You: Heart Nutted Too Hard
113: Niggles
114: What Would Jesus Do?
115: 'Til Death Do Us Part
116: Sheeeesh
116.5: (;_;)
117: Bouquet Of Red Anemones
KnY/Obey Me x Reader
118: Back On Track
119: Guys Have Funny Little Butts
120: Won't You Say My Name?
Q&A and Stuff!!
121: You're So Easy To CyberBully
122: Fuckin' Kazuki
123: It's Clownery, Your Honor
124: But What Is Unnatural Sex?
125: But Never Meant To Be
Clout
126: Remind Me Why I Can't Just Go Home
127: Reverence
128: Only Love Can Hurt Like This
129: If We Have Each Other
UNHOLY OFFICIAL ART OF NAO
130: Tragedy's End
โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT โ€ผ๏ธโ€ผ๏ธ
The End of an Era (for now lmao)
OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU IS HERE!!!

43: Your Life As A Telanovela Character

8.7K 585 794
By GabrielXander

♪───O(≧∇≦)O────♪

"ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!"

Sekido picks up his head to look at you, but he was met with a smack upside the head with every word.

"OW! Hey! Wh-What the hell are you-"

"-You think you're fucking slick, huh?!" You smack him on his shoulder, "You think I don't know what the hell you just said?!"

"Calm the fuck down-"

You grab Sekido by the back of his head and bring it back down to the floor.

"Ah! Dude! What-"

("Kinky." Sanemi huffs quietly under his breath, which gains a questionable look from Uzui since his hearing was flamboyant.)

"-You're not sending me back home! We made a deal! If we're going to be punished, we're dealing with it together!" You shout, "You can't-you can't just-"

"I'm trying to protect you!-"

Your strength was no match for Sekido, so he was able to lift himself back up while you kept trying to push him down.

Plus, he was in his normal size now, so it was harder to push him down, anyway. He didn't hit you back though, since he could actually hurt you.

"-I want you to live!" Sekido reasons.

"If I was worried about dying, I wouldn't have become a Demon Slayer! If I was worried about dying, then I would've asked you to take me back the moment you offered!" You finally remove your hand from his head.

"It's not about if you mind it or not!" Sekido argues, "We're friends, right?! And friends are supposed to help each other!"

"So then help me!" You plead, "Help me come up with something so we can both stay!"

("This is like a dramatic play I've seen once." Sanemi leans to his left and whispers to Kyojuro who was next to him, "It's getting good right now. Watch, she's gonna slap him."

Kyojuro furrows his eyebrows and slowly turns to look at Sanemi who was immersed in your 'play'.)

"I don't want you to stay if it means you'll be in greater danger-"

You effectively cut Sekido off with a slap.

(Sanemi gasps quietly, "I told you! She's gonna insult him now!")

"-You fucking idiot!" You shout, "This isn't something you decide on your own!"

(Kyojuro wonders how the fuck Sanemi knew this. No, he wondered how many plays Sanemi has seen.)

"Don't be so eager to get rid of me," You lower your voice while shucking off your backpack since your back was hurting, "We do this together. We fight together. We survive together. Or we die together. That's what it means to be a friend, Sekido."

("She just told him that they're going to go through with this together." Sanemi whispers to the Flame Pillar, "It's classic one-liner before he realizes she's right and gives in.")

Sekido sighs and chuckles, "Fine, we'll do this together. But if we survive this, I want to be carried in an expensive ass box, alright?"

(Sanemi slowly nods his head, "Classic."

Uzui, who has amazing hearing, heard all of Sanemi's commentary, had to hold himself from clapping at the scene you and Sekido performed.

Kyojuro was just confused at the sudden revelation that Sanemi was a fucking Theater Nerd.)

"Ubuyashiki still hasn't decided how to proceed, don't be so eager to give up!" You frown at the demon.

You take this time to unhook your kama from your belt since the hilt was getting pushed into your side uncomfortably.

"(Y/n) is right," Ubuyashiki smiles, "Sekido, what's the longest you've gone without eating a human?"

Sekido frowns, "The longest? 87 years."

"87 years? How many people have you eaten?" Ubuyashiki asks.

"I'm 171 years old, but I've been a demon for 150 years. And in that time, I've only ever eaten 4 people. The taste of humans disgust me, emotionally and literally, so I've only eaten them when my life was in jeopardy to fall into the hands of Kibutsuji Muzan. Other than that, I'm not tempted to eat them." Sekido scratches the back of his head.

"You're a 171 year old demon, and you've managed to stay alive all this time with only devouring 4 humans?" Ubuyashiki hums, "I can tell you're a strong demon, yet your energy is extremely limited. How has Muzan not found you yet?"

Sekido scoffs, "That Michael Jackson rip off could never find me, I'm too smart! Also, Muzan is too predictable and he makes a scene everywhere he goes. It's actually pretty easy to avoid him."

You laugh quietly when Sekido called Muzan by the OG name.

"Say his name again," Ubuyashiki orders.

"Who? Kibutsuji Muzan? It's weird, isn't it? It doesn't even sound like a real name," Sekido insults.

Ubuyashiki hums quietly before turning his head to face the Pillars, "I've come to a decision. (Y/n), Sekido, you two listen closely."

You and Sekido, as well as the Pillars, lean forward to hear his conclusion.

"Muzan possesses the ability to put a curse onto the demons he creates," Ubuyashiki says, "If any demon says his name out loud, the curse activates and destroys them. Unless the demon is free from Muzan, then they are able to say his name however they like."

Ubuyashiki turns his head slightly to face Sekido's direction, "Sekido had said Muzan's name three times already, and I'm sure he's said it other times before, and here is Sekido. Still in one piece."

"I've decided that Sekido and (Y/n) will continue as they are, so that we have more hands to help defeat Muzan, and so that Sekido can keep (Y/n) alive. (Y/n) -and now Sekido as well- will continue to fight as Demon Slayers. And I would like you all to accept it as well."

You feel relief absolutely FUCK your body in ways you never knew were possible. Sekido as well, as he fell back to lay down.

"Even if it's what you desire, Master, I... cannot fully agree to it." Gyomei cries.

You feel your soul shatter.

Fuck, you forgot that there are stubborn people here.

It actually hurt your feelings a bit because you thought Gyomei would at least be on your side since he was the other person who knew who you really were.

"I don't trust either of them, I don't trust them," Iguro frowns, "This demon has killed people, no matter if it was only 4 people."

"Well, I flamboyantly agree with you, Master!' Uzui states, "This demon has devoured people, though it's been 23 years since he has done it! I'm sure he can keep that up if (Y/n) keeps him in check!"

"I shall do whatever it is you wish, Master!" Mitsuri fawned, "The demon was so cute!"

"I'm fine either way... since I'm going to forget anyway...and since he's keeping a member alive..." Muichiro says.

"I respect your decision, Master!" Kyojuro grins, "I will accept both of them with open arms!"

"Simp." Sekido mutters.

"Sekido is... sometimes a polite demon," Shinobu says, "And he's extremely cooperative. I'm sure he won't purposely cause harm to another human. I'll do whatever you wish, Master."

"I'll accept them, as well." Giyuu, who you totally forgot was here, spoke up.

Everyone waited for the most terrifying Hashira to speak up.

"... If it weren't for the fact that Sekido saved the lives of two Demon Slayers from an Upper Moon, I would have opposed it as well," Sanemi sighs, "I'll agree with your decision, Master."

Everyone was surprised how easy it was or Sanemi to accept you and Sekido.

Sanemi, the Wind Pillar. Who was so eager to kill Nezuko, the demon who has never hurt a human. Sanemi, the Wind Pillar. Who is willing to keep Sekido alive, the demon who has killed 4 humans.

"Ohhhhh!" Sekido cheers, "That's 7 against 2, bitches!"

Sekido looks at you and raises his hand for a high five. To which you eagerly complied.

"The Power of Fucking Friendship right there!" You cackle.

"It's not over yet, (Y/n) and Sekido," Ubuyashiki interrupts, "There is still Gyomei and Obanai who have yet to accept you two."

"What? Why not? I thought we made a good point that I was like, a mediocre demon." Sekido whines.

"There is no guarantee that you won't suddenly attack a human out of starvation," Gyomei supplies, "And when that day comes-"

"-When that day comes? You seem so certain of that future, are you clairvoyant?" Sekido interrupts, "Last time I remembered, I got punched through the chest and healed myself when I could. And (Y/n) was bleeding to her death, I wasn't tempted to eat her. In fact, her blood made me sick."

"Gee, thanks."

"Shut up." Sekido was quick to quip back, "I haven't eaten a human in 23 years and Shinazugawa's blood doesn't do shit to me. His blood smells like an old man after a long day at the bar."

Sanemi was offended: "Fuck you! I smell good!"

Sekido scrunches his face in pure disgust, "I fucking hate Marechi blood the most."

"You could be giving us lip service for all we know," Iguro protests, "There is no way a demon can resist Marechi blood."

"Oh my fucking God," You groan quietly, "Must we do this song and dance again?"

"Sekido is not an innocent demon. He's eaten people, but it doesn't mean he's a bad person. Why would he go out of his way to save Kyojuro and I, if it would literally make no difference to Sekido?" You huff as you sit in a cross legged position with your haori to cover your front, "In fact, Sekido knows his life would be so much simpler if he had just let me die. He's not responsible for my life, but he cares about me anyway. Isn't that enough to prove that he's good? Or at least trying to be?"

"Yes, Sekido was the one to bring (Y/n) here," Ubuyashiki nods, "Sekido said he could take (Y/n) back at any time. Why would he go through all the trouble to protect someone, when he could quite literally get rid of the problem? I think that is enough to show that Sekido could be trusted."

"As you wish..." Gyomei replies.

"... As you wish..." Iguro sighs.

Sekido looks at you with a stupid smile and pulls you by the shoulders to hug you: "Oh my God! I didn't think we'd actually survived! I have never been more happy to know I'll wake up the next day!"

"Wow! That really fills me with confidence!" You reply in a facetious manner as you hug the demon back.

"And that concludes our business with Sekido and (L/n) (Y/n)," Ubuyashiki smiles, "Gyomei, Tengen, Kyojuro, Sekido, and (Y/n), please stay back. Everyone else, you're all dismissed."

Everyone gets up and starts to converse with each other for a small moment to discuss what had just happened. The three Pillars who have been called walked over and got up on the engawa.

"Sekido, you should shrink down," You grin, "You were so cute as a little baby!"

Sekido pouts, "Eat shit."

"Hey, but playing dramatic really saved our asses." You smile, "Plan B was a success!"

Yep.

That's right.

In the early morning after your heart-to-heart with Sekido, you two made a plan, well two plans.

Plan A: Tell them what you needed, and hoped that was enough to convince them to let you live.

Plan B: Act dramatic to sell the story that you two actually cared about living when you didn't really give a shit.

You didn't prepare much after that since you got tired.

"(Y/n)! Sekido!" Kyojuro calls to you as he walked over to you and the demon, "That was quite a trial! I'm glad to know it went in the direction I was hoping for."

"Hi, Kyojuro! It's nice to know that I'll live to see another day." You grin as you stand up.

Sekido stands up next you, towering you and Kyojuro with his height.

"Right! Now you have six people to watch over!" Sekido chuckles.

"Six?" Kyojuro asks.

Sekido nods, "(Y/n) told me that you asked Tanjiro to be your tsuguko! And that you accepted Zenitsu and Inosuke to be trained by you as well! And that you were willing to help train (Y/n) to better her swordsmanship. And me and her, we're a packaged deal. So that's Me, (Y/n), Nezuko, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke! Yep! Six!"

Kyojuro can feel the dread sink in.

He did say all that, didn't he? Tanjiro, Nezuko, and you, he didn't mind. But after getting to properly know Zenitsu and Inosuke during the week you were out, made him realize how chaotic everyone was together.

"Whaoh, what'd you tell him? He looks ready to shit his pants!" You laugh.

"Although," Sekido leans an elbow on Kyojuro to whisper to him, "If you can successfully handle all of that, (Y/n) would definitely admire how hard you work to help everyone. She likes people who are selfless like that."

Sekido wasn't trying to help Kyojuro. He was trying to cause conflict for Tanjiro since that would be hilarious.

Kyojuro can feel his face heat up as he tries to laugh off the flustered feeling in his chest.

"Well, of course I can do it all! I'm the Flame Pillar, after all!" Kyojuro laughs a little too loud.

"(Y/n)! Sekido! Rengoku!" Uzui calls, "Let's go inside."

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