n i n e t e e n . o n e
A v e r l y n
b o r d e r
I keep my hands firmly on the wheel, my eyes never leaving the road. I can see from the corner of my eye, Joshua next to me, tapping his fingers in rhythm to the music playing from the radio. Every so often he'll tug at the handcuffs in hopes they'll break, I can't do him those favours. My fingers start nervously tapping against the wheel, hard. It grabs Joshua's attention as he reaches for my hand. "Dont fucking touch me." I snap, moving my hand away from him. He laughs lowly, resting his head on the headrest as he thinks.
"I bet you want Spencer to touch you, am I right? I am, aren't I?" He chuckles, turning to look at me, "you, sweetheart, are in love." He laughs and his smile catches me off guard. Guys like him aren't meant to smile. Their lives are meant to be hell. "Disgusting feeling. Love, how fucking pathetic." I take deep breaths, steadying my breathing in a few minutes.
"I'm not in love." I stammer, because I've only known Spencer a couple of weeks.
"Good. It's not good for you baby-."
"Stop...stop calling me pet names. I'm doing what you ask and then I'm getting out of here." I shake my head and put my eyes back to the road, fixated.
"Oh, no you're not. You aren't getting away again, baby. Trust me, I won't let anything happen to you." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, my first instinct is to lean away from his touch. Joshua made me steal one of the SUV's, as I had the keys anyway, and now we're heading towards the border. "Now listen, we can end this whenever we want...you just have to step one foot out of line. You don't wanna do that sweetheart, do you?" I shake my head as tears burn in my eyes, "good. My little girl has come back to me, I couldn't be happier."
"There's police surveying the border. They'll recognise you." I whisper, my voice faltering.
"We'll be okay. You know what to tell them." His fingers trace circles on my thigh once he manages to pick the lock on his handcuffs, freeing his hands. There's nothing that can save me now. I start to feel weak, knowing there is nothing that can hold him off me. I had the advantage with his handcuffs on, but now they're off, we could get far away from this place. I don't want that. We get in the line of cars waiting to be aloud off the borders, my heart starting to race. "So, what was it like? Giving yourself to somebody. I'm not one for that sickly lovey dovey shit." He says, fanning his face from the heat in the car. We move forward a few cars, each car that moves across the border makes my heart race faster.
Make small talk. Live to tell your story. "It was nice. He made me feel like I had a choice." My voice shakes as I talk, I don't want to tell him this.
"Robbing bastard. He was never worth your time. He gave you up, remember? He told everyone. He doesn't even like you, it was obvious what was in it for him. He just wanted to get off." Joshua whines, "I'll take care of you." He mumbles.
"Spencer did take care of me." The memories of Spencer cleaning me up after sex filled my head, him cuddling me afterwards, our silent conversations that speak a thousand words. "More than you and Thomas ever could." That is something I've learnt, his partner is called Thomas Bridley.
"Hmm, yeah I bet he did. Did he kiss you goodnight and whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you fall asleep in his arms?" Joshua rolls his eyes, letting out another bitter laugh. "This is why I didn't want you to go out. You'd be mesmerised by these people and you'd let them have you. They can't have you, Averlyn."
"I hate you." I seethe, gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white. "You raped me. You and Thomas did everything you could think of to me. You made me kill innocent people. Innocent women. With kids, parents...they had a family." I laugh through my tears, keeping my eyes clear to focus on the cars moving in front of us.
"I can barely trust anyone, but I trusted those people. They gave me a place to stay."
"A place to stay?" Joshua yells, "you were fucking screwing a colleague of yours. Was that the price? You and him fucking so that you can have a place to stay? Food to eat? Water to drink? You're a fucking whore, and they know that now. Spencer won't lose any sleep over you." I brake quickly before I drive into the back of someone's car, Joshua takes this opportunity to grab my jaw and turn me to face him. "Trust me sweetheart, you were always mine, fucking Spencer changed none of that." He pushes me away, my hair falling in front of my face. I take one shaky hand off the wheel to brush it away, wiping away any stray tears.
"He changed all of it and deep down you know it." I spit, "you're jealous because I finally had the gut to get away from you and find someone I really like." We near a police officer who asks us to roll down my window.
"ID." The policeman orders, leaning down to take a look in the SUV. "This yours ma'am?" My heart starts to beat faster. I don't have any kind of ID, I shouldn't even be driving. Joshua grabs a card from his pocket and smiles as he shows it to the officer.
"She asks me to keep hold of it or else she'll forget it. My girl's a silly one." Joshua laughs to the policeman scrutinising the ID in hand.
"Ma'am, do you mind stepping out of the vehicle for a second. Standard procedure." The police officer steps back as my hand moves towards the door handle.
"Oh come on officer, this isn't really standard procedure? You wanna feel up a girl, find another one." I ignore Joshua and climb out of the car, keeping the door open. "Found anything you like other than my girl, sir?" The police officer beckons a woman over.
"Stand with your chest against the car, hands in the air. Don't move at all." The male says, mumbling incoherent words to the woman officer before walking away towards another. The woman's hands slowly check my pockets, and feel down my sides. Her touch sends shivers down my spine and I don't like it. I shouldn't be scared of a woman, but I am. And then there are gunshots. Loud, piercing ones that make my ears ring. The woman beside me is shot down, and then the two other officers. I crouch down, I know where the bullets are being fired from.
"Get in the fucking car!" Joshua yells. I shake my head and press my hands to the bleeding woman's chest as she slowly and painfully dies. Joshua takes no time in speeding off before the other officers can get to him, leaving me behind. My arms are grabbed as I scream and yell for help, but they pin them behind my back.
"No! Stop, please stop you don't understand!" I kick my legs as they pin me to the ground, cuffing my hands behind my back, "she's dying! She needs help!" One officer checks her pulse, the other holds me down as tears fall down my face.
———
n i n e t e e n . t w o
S p e n c e r
p r o t e c t
"They've found Joshua and Avery trying to get across state borders. There's been a shooting and multiple officers down, let's head there now." Hotch says, his frown never leaving his face. I get up slowly, binning my cup of coffee on the way out. I end up in an SUV with Emily, JJ and Derek speeding towards the crime scene. My mind can't comprehend why Avery did this. She got him out of her hold after months of trying to locate him, and how she pulled it off is an even bigger question.
The thoughts of Avery in my bed, in my clothes, or in my kitchen eating breakfast are fading quicker than I thought they would. I don't want them anymore, they make me sick. She was going to stay tonight, and we were going to eat pancakes together. What changed her mind? We've come to the conclusion Avery and Joshua think this is all a game. Was gaining my trust a game to her?
As much as I want to keep the memories of her moans, or her small gestures, or her anywhere in my apartment and in my bed, I know I can't because they represent something I vowed never to do. Avery is a criminal, and I now realise how easy it is to like somebody. Maybe even love somebody. When we get to the border, it's a mess. Three bodies, two of which are dead ones. The woman survived and is getting hauled into a ambulance, ready to be taken. The SUV is nowhere in sight, and nor is Joshua. But Avery is, she's handcuffed, sitting on the floor while a paramedic cleans a cut on her head. She's looking at the ground but her eyes are glossy, her bottom lip is trembling and her hands are shaking vigorously. When the paramedic finishes, she looks up at her and gives her a small thank you.
"Wait...are you...the FBI?" The woman being wheeled into the ambulance stops Hotch and I, taking off her oxygen mask to speak. The paramedics try to put it back on but she shakes her head, "that girl...over there. She is innocent...I know that look on...her face when the bullets...she was surprised. She tried to...save me. I saw her..." the officer gasps.
"Ma'am just put the mask on, I'm sure they'll talk to you later in hospital." One paramedic says but the officer shakes her head.
"No...I saw her...before she got out the car...she looked like she had been...hit. And she had...been crying." The officer takes a huge gulp of air from the mask before being wheeled into the ambulance and taken to the nearest hospital. Hotch and I turn back to Avery, who is still sat on the floor, a frown evident on her features.
"Can I...talk to her, Hotch. For a moment, she'll talk to me." I plead, Hotch nods and lets me go over there, telling the rest of the team to stay back and give us some privacy. I stop a few feet in front of her, waiting for her to look up at me. When she does, I can see what the officer means. The has red, bloodshot eyes and a hand print by her jaw, like she'd been grabbed forcefully. She stands up and brushes any dirt off her clothes, looking at me, hopeful.
She wraps her arms around me, which I quickly push away, gathering space between us. "Averlyn stop, why did you do it? I just want to know straight up, why?" She looks at me, blankly and I really hope the cut on her head hasn't triggered memory loss.
"Spence..." she mutters, her eyes filling with tears.
"Why did you do it, Averlyn? How did you do it?" I ask, letting go of her, trusting her to keep her distance.
"You don't understand..." she gasps, her eyebrows creasing slightly as her lips quiver.
"You're right, I don't understand, and I can't understand if I don't know why and how you did it. You have got a criminal out of federal custody, Avery. How could you even manage getting someone out of that?"
"I-." She stops, I know what she is thinking. I won't believe her. Fresh tears fall down her face, a strong gust of cold air blowing out way. There's no way she can protect herself from the warm when her hands are cuffed in front of her.
"Was all this a game to you then? You said you didn't want to play games but was this all a game? Playing cops and robbers with us, trying to see how weak our team was maybe? Was gaining my trust a game to you too?" There are tears threatening to fall, and the cold wind isn't helping. Avery doesn't answer, I just scoff and shake my head. I turn on my heel, ready to walk back to the team when Avery speaks up.
"He said he was going to get Thomas to kill you. That's his partners name. Thomas. I know it isn't a lot but that's all I have. Spencer if we didn't get to where he was telling me to drive, he was going to kill you." She cries, or sobs and she tries her best to wipe her tears away before I see them. I do see them though, and it makes my heart ache. "I didn't want him to kill you...I'm so sorry!" She sobs, her legs going weak. I stride towards her and wrap my arms around her waist to keep her upright. She can't cling on to me this time, but I know she wants to. Her tiny fists have balled my shirt up as she desperately holds me as best she can.
"It's alright..." I mutter. The team has to realise she did this for me and this team. Making sure it didn't fall apart with the loss of a member. She risked her life for us.
"They...he said that I couldn't leave afterwards, and that he's glad I was back." She cries, swiftly tugging at the handcuffs. It was her own secret language, let me out. I entwine my fingers with hers and it almost looks like we are dancing. I glance towards the rest of the team. JJ and Emily have sad smiles on their faces, Hotch is hard to tell and Derek and Rossi are staring at me. Of course they would be, they've never seen me hug a girl like this before. I hold on to her tightly, occasionally discreetly kissing her forehead before JJ manages to pull us apart.
"Avery do you have any idea where Joshua was heading?" JJ asks, keys for her handcuffs in her hands. She unlocks the cuffs, giving Avery's hands a small squeeze.
"No, I'm sorry. He was telling me the directions as I drove." Her voice cracks as extra tears fall down her face. She's not lying, she's telling the truth.
*****
vrrm. I don't know what to put here other than I've updated a lot and changed my username multiple times ):
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