My hands tremble as I ring the bell of my house. It sounds like a 'ding' and is followed by a tune I have gotten used to hearing. I stare at my shoes while I wait for the polished wooden door to open. If I am correct, Panther isn't home. He is drinking his head off somewhere else and this is my time to find Mom alone.
It took me a while to get here because I had taken the decision suddenly. After what happened with Carter at school, I was confused about all the things happening in my life.
I need my Mom.
The door opens and I hear her gasp before I lift my eyes to look at her. She is dressed in a pretty purple dress and when she sees me, she smiles.
"Mommy!" I exclaim, throwing myself in her arms and hugging her.
We are both of the same height and when she hugs me back, she places her head on my shoulder.
"My baby..." she coos, nuzzling her nose in my hair.
It feels good to be back in her arms. We stand there for a while, not letting go of each other. When we do let go, she still holds my hand as I step in and close the door behind me.
"I hope Panther's not at home."
"I won't be smiling if he was," Mom assures me with a feeble smile.
We walk together towards the hall. I feel like a stranger in my own house. I have no idea where I belong anymore — in Carter's house or at my Mom's. Both feel unfamiliar to me.
I take a place on the couch and put my bag on the table. I didn't bother waiting for Carter at the bus stop. I texted him instead and he marked it off as 'seen'. I feel guilty for something which isn't even my fault but the guilt is more like regret.
Mom comes back with a glass of water and gives it to me. After the long walk from school here, it feels like the most needed thing as I gulp it all in one go. Placing the glass back on the table, I face Mom as she sits on the couch beside me.
"Where did you go?" Mom asks before I can ask her about her well-being.
Her question throws me off-guard. Surely, she did tell me to run away but I don't think she will be glad to know that I am crashing at a boy's house.
"I'm staying at Lucy's," I lie.
She seems confused for a second and her eyes form a thoughtful look.
"Who's Lucy? I thought you went to your grandma's," she says.
"I didn't want to leave you here...with him."
Her eyes soften and she brushes a strand of my hair from my forehead. "Hope they aren't troubling anyone."
I smile, knowing she means it as a joke. She knows I won't trouble people, at least not intentionally.
"They are nice people."
That isn't a lie though. The people I am staying with are nice indeed. Mom gives a soft laugh and leans on the couch. She sighs, her voice sounding tired.
"I wanted to call you but Panther took my phone."
My ears perk up at that. I grab her hand in a startling move. She looks at me with sorrowful eyes.
"Why?"
"He was upset to see you gone and when I wanted to reason with him, he ordered me to no longer speak to you anymore. He broke my phone..." Mom's eyes take upon a glassy look. "He wants to see if you will come back to see if something's wrong."
My blood runs cold at her words. I did want to call her and now that I look back to the time when I thought twice about my decision and was saved by Carter's timely arrival, I can't help but let out a soft gasp of fear, aware of my close escape.
"I'm so sorry, Mom. He...he..."
My voice shakes and Mom is quickly on alert as she cups my face and makes me look at her.
"What did he do to you?" she asks with fear in her eyes.
If I tell her what Panther did, she will go crazy worrying about my safety. She already looks tired; I don't want her to go through more trouble.
"Noth...nothing. I was just shocked to hear that," I lie again.
I have been lying for quite a while and it now feels like a part of me.
Mom sighs and pulls me in for another hug. I rest my head on her shoulder as she bursts into tears. I let her cry, rubbing her back gently. She is not the kind of person who cries easily but when she does, her tears come out as much needed. They give her peace.
A while later, she pulls back. She rubs her tear-stained cheeks with the back of her hands. She smiles when she notices me looking at her anxiously.
"It's fine, Maya," she says. "Can you stay for a while? Panther won't be back for a few hours. We can watch a movie or maybe talk about your school?"
I have so much to tell her about her school but none that involves me in the least sense. I smile, nodding my head and already thinking of all the things I can tell her to make her laugh.
"Sounds like a great idea."
***
We end up watching Pirates Of The Caribbean and when the film ends, Mom tells me that I should leave as Panther will be home soon. I pull her into another hug and then book an Uber. Thankfully, for the first time in my life, the driver isn't late and arrives right before I find Panther strolling up to the house.
I make the driver wait while I watch Panther stumble up the steps and knock on the door. Mom opens it soon. He pulls her against his chest, kissing her firmly. She responds to his kisses even though I can see she no longer enjoys them. He picks her up in his arms and they enter the house, shutting the door behind them.
I thank the driver for his patience and give him the address to Carter's. He drives off and I lie on the back, thinking over Mom's words and planning all the ways I can kill Panther.
The car stops after a while and I crack my eyes open to find that we are standing near Carter's house but as I look out, my eyes instantly spot Carter who walks out carrying the same bag he had the other night. My eyes are curious as I follow him when he gets on his bike but not before stealing a glance around. I hide before his eyes land on the car. When I look back up, he has already started his bike.
I quickly ask the driver to follow him and he asks me to order him again first. I do so while making sure that Carter doesn't disappear. Carter starts to head straight for the road just as I finish doing what the driver asked.
"Hurry!" I shout at the driver with excitement flaring my veins and he starts the engine again.
We follow Carter as he heads out of the street and into the main road. The traffic makes me lose him for a minute but I find his bike again. keep my eyes fixed on his number plate throughout all the turns.
When we stop finally, my heart skips.
It isn't like any area I have ever been to before. It looks lonely. I find Carter getting off his bike and heading for a door at the end of the street. I feel disturbed by my decision to follow him here. I sit in the car, afraid to head out but this time, the driver gets impatient with me, forcing me to get out. I pay the irritated asshole and he leaves.
I stand on the street alone and keep my eyes locked on the door through which Carter has disappeared. After much pondering, I head over to it. It is when I am close enough that I see a bulky man with tattoos all over his body standing guard. He looks at me from top to bottom before quirking an eyebrow.
"What do you need, kid?"
"Is Carter Bell here?"
"Kid has a match tonight. What do you want?" the man asks.
Match?
"I...I need to speak to him. It's about his...father," I lie for the third time that day
The man blinks and then nods as he pulls open the heavy door to let me in. I mouth him a 'thanks' as I step in and am instantly swallowed by darkness.
It is dark everywhere except for the loud noise which surrounds me. I can spot people around me shouting something which sounds like them cheering. I push past the crowd of people, sweaty bodies brush against mine which makes me feel disgusted with my decision to come in here.
When I manage to get out of the crowd, I find myself close to what looks like a boxing ring from what I have seen in pictures before. The only light that illuminates the room is from above the ring where a bulb shines upon the opponents. I cover my mouth to stop my shriek when I spot the opponent to my right.
He is shirtless and dressed in shorts. His fists are bare except for white cloth which is wrapped around his palms. His biceps flex as he moves while staring at his opponent who is an older man with a huge body. He towers over Carter but Carter doesn't seem intimidated.
Before I can make sense of what is happening, a whistle blows, and Carter and the man throw themselves at each other. I gawk at Carter as he avoids blows from the other guy and I wince every time the guy manages to hit him. Carter throws a few punches too but they look dull compared to what the man is doing to him.
Within a few minutes, Carter's old cut on his cheek opens up again, making me shiver at the pain it might have caused but he appears unfazed.
Carter moves faster than the man with a skill that makes it clear that he is trained but the way he throws his punches and kicks is weak. I don't understand this kind of fighting. Carter isn't even putting in an effort. I recall the way he punched Kyle in the Canteen.
Kyle is a strong guy too but Carter managed to lay him flat with just one punch. However, this Carter is too weak for me to make head or tail of his moves. He appears trained and untrained at the same time.
The other guy throws one last punch at his weak opponent and Carter falls face-first down inside the ring. People around me start counting to ten but he doesn't get up. I should be worried but my eyes stay rooted in the way he is attempting to get up and failing. I have fallen and gotten up many times to know that this isn't hurting.
This is pretending to be hurt
The countdown gets over. The other guy wins and cheers follow his victory. I keep my gaze on Carter, waiting for him to get up. He pulls himself up with extreme finesse and jumps out of the ring. People make way for him and he walks over to pick up a bottle of water.
He drinks and pours the rest of the water on his body. The water washes the dirt off him and when he turns to look straight ahead of him, I realize that I have made the mistake of keeping myself unhidden.
The crowd fades as his eyes lock with mine, the color draining from his face.
From across the ring, I swallow a gulp because he looks like he is about to kill me.