Fresh morning breeze with sporadic melodies of birds would make anyone's day. Even Yoongi's. It had been a week since everyone lost contact with Eunbi, meaning she was nowhere to be found. It was hard at first for Yoongi to cope with the rapidly incoming cataclysmic events, but as time decided to move on regardless, so did Yoongi. It took a great deal of both inner and external conviction, for no matter how monstrous Eunbi had become, Yoongi's heart still ached because of him apparently playing a part in her transformation. That was the least he would have liked to see of himself.
He eventually reached his station's entrance after granting a full hour to himself for strolling around, the satisfied smile still not willing to abandon his lips. Lifting his gaze up from the path beneath, his contentment would have lasted longer had it not been for Bomin and his frantically assembling team. With eyebrows instantly knitting into one, Yoongi walked up to Bomin, who was now gesturing his subordinates to get into the police cars.
Yoongi placed his hand on Bomin's shoulder, causing him to turn around resultingly, "What's the matter? Where are you all hurrying to?" Yoongi grumbled, though Bomin did not fail at comprehending his question.
"Thank God you're here. You should tag along with us, come on." In place of answering to Yoongi's query however, Bomin began to haul him along instead, making him trip over his own stride.
"Wait, wait, wait. What is it? Are you hiding something from me—"
"Eunbi has finally been foun—" Before Bomin could even complete his briefing, Yoongi had already interrupted in between.
"Woah, what? Eunbi has been found? You're talking about our Eunbi, right? Where? How? Where did you find her?" Yoongi worded out every question that came into his mind at that moment, but when Bomin pressed his own lips into a thin line, he could not quite figure out much from his visage.
"Dead. She's dead. The locals saw a body floating on the river bank this morning. That's how we got to know about her. She's not alive anymore, Yoongi. She's dead."
🚨
Yoongi was well aware of how his action would be perceived as by his staff, and despite that he went forward to hold a funeral for his childhood acquaintance without any hesitation. She could have led a good life, but simply because of Yoongi being unable to find an apt answer for breaking up with her, she guided herself down the road to self-destruction. After all that she went through as a kid, and even as a teenager, she undoubtedly deserved to live in a better way. Had Yoongi known how he wound up deepening Eunbi's scars from her early years even more, he would have tried to look for a less reckless alternative.
Her soul was fragile, and required to be tended for. It must have been hard for her to love herself post all that trauma, but young Yoongi did not seem to care about it. So what he was repenting his actions now, would that make Eunbi rise from the dead again? Or going further back, would that persuade her that she was enough for herself, or that she did not need anybody else to teach her that? That she did not have to live up to other's expectations?
As if Yoongi's eyes were not already bloodshot from all the crying that he did after he came to know about Eunbi's demise, a message popped up in his notifications.
I'm sorry for letting you down, Yoongi, for not being able to live as the strong-willed person that you wanted me to be. I'm sorry for misinterpreting your words and becoming such a horrible person. I'm sorry for bothering you and making your life so chaotic. I promise I'll no longer try to barge into your life. This is a goodbye, Yoongi, a well-intended goodbye. I wish you a peaceful life ahead.
Even though Yoongi was trying his best not to let people notice his miserable condition, him being all over the place was gradually becoming difficult not to be taken into account. Juhui's focus was solely fixated at Yoongi, and she could no more bear watching him lose control over his emotions so helplessly. With uncertainty, she marched towards him, and she swore that she had never witnessed Yoongi's dread breaking all its bounds right out of him.
"I know it's not the right time but you deserve to know the truth, Yoongi. Eunbi wasn't just your colleague, she was a part of your past. The past which you didn't ever tell me about. The past that she must've made somewhat tolerable for you—"
"Speak no more, Juhui. I know everything. Please don't make me feel more guilty. I was... terrible to her. I left her because she wasn't strong? I must've gone nuts at that time. She was my inspiration in the past, she gave me hope that I'll be able to get through it all. And I called her weak? That's how I paid her back? I wish for her not to meet anyone like me in her next life. Ungrateful brats like me don't... d—deserve her." Yoongi shut his eyelids close tightly when tears threatened to outflow and smear his cheeks.
Juhui instinctively reached out for him, wrapping her arms around the anxious man. Though neither of them was sure about the effectiveness of the effort, they knew how pain could be halved by sharing it with others.
"Let's pray for her to rest in peace, Yoongi. Let's pray for her to receive everything that she was devoid of. She was a good soul, no chance she will suffer anymore," Juhui pulled back after caressing Yoongi's back for a few moments and resumed, "and smile, that's what she would want you to be doing in your life."
a/n
kinda random scenes cuz it's just an epilogue but i still hope that it was understandable.
yes loves, eunbi hadn't planned to die at first. it was only cuz the police was getting close to catching her that made her take that step. she would've just given up on pursuing yoongi and gone somewhere faraway, otherwise.
but that's not the real issue here. y'all must be thinking why did i make eunbi innocent in the last chapters all of a sudden. i wanted to address how childhood shapes our personalities. cuz of the abusive environment eunbi grew up in, her psyche began to be molded that way too. we all can see how sweet and caring (and also meek) she was originally. yoongi came into her life, gave her the reasons to believe in the good side of the world and then abandoned her when he realized she was no longer how he wanted his loved ones to be. that was abusive too. and that also worked as a trigger for her, especially his words when he broke up with her.
all in all, y'all should love yourself! don't let people belittle you cuz of your personality or anything, and don't look down on others too.
wrapping this book up with the huge-est (yes i made that word whatchu gonna do hmph) THANK YOU in this world. thank you for reading this book, and bringing my confidence back to me.
my next book is gonna be a comparatively lighter book (angst issa must), a jimin centric book. i'll be looking forward to having y'all there! tho it's also fine if you don't come hahaha