There was a lot I had to accept.
I was afraid to even ponder about it, to even consider it. Because it felt like I was doing my best friend wrong.
I couldn't do that to Roz. Not even as a thought.
But I guess now there's no harm in pondering about it, for I am now alone in this realm.
The truth is, I have always loved Harvey. This wouldn't shock Salem or Ambrose or the aunties. Sabrina at the thought of them.
When the Aphrodite spell didn't work on Roz, I knew Harvey still felt the same way about me. I think he knew it too.
This means, Caliban was right.
Harvey chose not to speak to me about it. Probably for the same reason I didn't let myself even think about it all this time.
But the look on his face that day spoke a million words.
I saw it in his eyes, he feels the same guilt, when it comes to Roz. He can't do that to her.
I was the one who let Harvey go. I told him I loved him too much to ever put his life in danger. I told him I'd always love him.
Those words are still true.
And I have Nick.
Was Nick right when he said I was saving myself for someone else?
Deep down in my gut, I know the answer. I've always known the answer.
I feel relieved now that I've written these words out.
I don't want Harvey to visit me in this dream realm. Even if it's just a dream.
I can't do that to Roz.