Why is the voice getting stronger
Can't it see that it has already won
I don't want to live anymore
Are you happy
Soon I'm leaving
Don't expect me to find a savior
Nobody will save me
This isn't a cliche love story where the depressed girl meets her lover who helps her become happy
This is the harsh reality where instead of finding love and happiness the girl kills herself because the pain is too much to bear
It's like a wound with a knife reopening it every day
Each time it goes deeper
Each time the wound gets bigger
Soon the wound will be too big and so deep that she will lose her life because of the pain
At least without life there is no pain
Unless of course you go to hell
At this point I wonder if I'm actually dead and is this my hell
Or is God punishing me for all of the wrongful deeds I have done in the past
If you are then I guess I deserve it
I mean your judgement is never wrong
I just wonder what I have done that was so bad for you to punish me this way
I guess I'll never know
Well at least I had a somewhat good life
Goodbye world
I wish that I could be more strong so that I can fight for my family
At this point I feel like I'm too far gone
I don't know
Am I?
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I'm fine. Everything is okay. Bye.
January 24, 2021
-D.G