TWs; kidnapping, sexual situations, non-consensual use of narcotics, dub-con, mentions of terrorism and terrorist activity, violence, death.
Kylo (Several Hours Before)
"They're using the feds as their flying monkeys now." Kylo muttered as he scrolled through the information their team of hackers had just emailed him, detailing what they were able to ascertain after days of research and dodging the traps being set for them in cyber space. They'd planned for this months ago, knowing that the rodents who comprised Spearhead - the group of terrorists posing as an investment conglomerate - would eventually get wise to his plans and do something to stop him. Kylo wasn't one of their lackeys. There wasn't a single thing on the planet they could bribe him with to pull him into their orbit; the only thing he wanted from them were each and every one of their heads on a pike.
Much like the feds, they'd had trouble figuring out who he and the Knights even were. It was the reason why their business was so successful; in most systems and countries they simply didn't exist. All of them had long ago shed their original identities; who they once were had either been recorded as dead, MIA, or simply too far off the grid to be found. It took a considerable amount of time, money, and effort to arrange and maintain the secrecy, but the advantages to being an unknown in their world were limitless.
And Spearhead knew it.
When they first comprised the list of everyone responsible for the Amsterdam bombing and began eliminating the most accessible names Kylo doubted they even noticed. The lower level people they pulled in for the grunt work couldn't have been high on anyone's priority list. But the higher up the list they went the more the risk that Spearhead would begin to realize the trend. From what they could tell, the Montana job had been the straw that broke the camel's back.
They hadn't left behind any incriminating evidence, they knew better than that. But crimes of such a grisly nature seldom took place in the remote hills of the small town Ranson had lived in. It sent shockwaves first across the state and then further across the country, people asking how such a heinous thing could have happened to an 'innocent man' and his staff. Their best guess at this point was that Spearhead got word of the story thanks to their connections to Ranson's resources and they began to follow the breadcrumbs from there until they realized that nearly 70% of the individuals who could be linked to the attack were dead - all in spectacularly unusual ways - and most that remained were those in hiding that Spearhead had been keeping protected since before the bombing even took place.
Thanks to their connections and resources they'd apparently been able to dig up some old audio from the security equipment inside the manor when the police were cleaning up the bodies and scratching their heads. Somehow Ranson had been able to figure out a few things; most notably Kylo's last name. He'd nearly put his fist through the wall when he played the recording the hackers sent him.
For a spineless worm, Ranson had been resourceful. He could allow him that much.
Though the name still meant little to the authorities and the feds alike, it had been far more helpful to Spearhead. Somehow they'd managed to do just enough tracking and pull just enough obscure footage from traffic cameras that they were able to narrow down their location within 50 miles.
Had it just been Kylo and the Knights he wouldn't have given it much of a second thought. After all, Spearhead weren't the first to come after them. It was an occupational hazard when you made a career of taking life; there would always be someone looking for vengeance. Under normal circumstances they would plan, prepare, and fight their way through it before disappearing off the map again.
But that was before her.
She may have become accustomed to some of the odds and ends of his world, but she was far from used to dodging bullets and having to think in terms of life and death for every single design down to the timing of a trip to the grocery store. Aside from his presence her world was painfully normal. 9 to 5 job, friends, family, nice house, weekend shopping trips and mountain retreats for holidays. That predictable routine was an open invitation for the people who would be coming for them. And while it was his fault that she was now in the line of fire, there was no going back now.
It was only because he'd gotten all this information from the hackers after she'd left to meet her author that he allowed her out of the house. Had he known beforehand she wouldn't have gone more than a few feet from his side, his promises from the night before be damned. Finn was the least of his concerns now; timing may well have bought the bastard a temporary free pass.
Ordinarily he would have gone to pick her up from the cafe himself, but in addition to everything else they'd learned they'd also been able to get a lead on a local hacker who'd been working with Spearhead. Wanting to interrogate him, Kylo had sent Vicrul to pick up his girl, knowing she was the most comfortable with him after they'd spent a few days together. And Vicrul, to his credit, didn't make any jokes this time around. He simply grabbed his stuff and walked out the door.
Knowing she was safe - or as close as she could be - he, Trudgen, and Kuruk went after the hacker while Cardo, Ushar, and Ap'lek began making arrangements for their inevitable departure.
The Spearhead hacker lived only about thirty miles away from where they'd been in a run down apartment complex that looked like it hadn't seen attention since the 60s. Apparently his employers didn't find him skilled enough to pay him decently. Granted he didn't have high hopes for the man - Timmy Carter, 36, tragically without an alarm system - he was obviously low on the totem pole with the organization and likely he wouldn't know much, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up in the event he knew something.
After doing a quick survey of the building and disabling the two pitiful security cameras Trudgen silently picked the flimsy lock and the three of them were standing in Timmy's dingy living room in seconds, watching him from behind as he typed furiously on his laptop, facing the opposite wall with a large pair of headphones perched on his head.
It was almost sad how easy it was.
They had him off the chair and pinned to the ground in seconds, Kylo's boot pressing against his throat while he flailed uselessly beneath him. For a man nearing middle age he looked like an overgrown teenager with a baby face and a stained Pokemon tee shirt. The fact that he pissed himself the second Kylo's gun was trained on his forehead didn't help add to the maturity image, either.
"Please! I didn't do anything!" He wheezed, pushing desperately against Kylo's boot to no avail. The sheer terror in his eyes was all the proof of guilt they would ever need; it wasn't the expression of an innocent man pleading for his life but rather a guilty one who realizes his number was finally up.
Applying a little more pressure as he leaned down, Kylo narrowed his eyes dangerously, "You know if I were as close to suffocating as you seem to be, I would be a little more honest, Timmy." Just to drive the point home he stepped down hard enough to elicit a panicked choke.
Behind him Trudgen and Kuruk searched through his computer and files, careful not to disturb anything or leave fingerprints. If this ended the way they intended, a ransacked apartment wouldn't fit the narrative they would leave behind for whoever found the body, no doubt days after they were gone.
"I'll help you out," Kylo murmured, continuing on in a lofty tone as he watched the skin around Timmy's lips turn blue, his eyes bulging from his skull as he fought for breath, "You've been doing some work for an organization I sincerely doubt you know much about. You get a paycheck and don't ask questions? Nod your head if I'm right so far and perhaps I'll let you breathe."
Though the pressure of his foot wouldn't allow for much, the slight jerk of his head could be interpreted as cooperation. Lifting his foot just long enough for the man to gasp in a breath, his foot was back in place in an instant. Ignoring Timmy's continued choked wails for help he rolled his eyes, "Don't be greedy, Timmy. It's not attractive." He chastised in a bored tone, enjoying the moment a little more than he should. Though the low level hacker was pretty far removed it was the closest he'd been to putting his hands on Spearhead in a while and he was going to enjoy every second of it. Within reason, they were under time constraints. "Let's move on to my next question, shall we? One of your recent assignments involved a crime scene in Montana and tracing tech to this area. Don't do yourself the disservice of denying it; it'll hurt worse if you do." Just to prove the point he shifted his weight, letting more of it fall on the foot currently crushing the other man's windpipe.
"I found the audit trail from the transfer, we have what we need." Kuruk interrupted, pulling a a flash drive from his pocket and plugging it into Timmy's laptop. Beside him Trudgen continued to sift through the paper records he could find. He had a small stack forming on the desk that Kylo assumed continued something of importance.
Adopting a falsely disappointed expression he gave a withdrawn sigh as he looked back down into Timmy's increasingly purple face, "Oh dear...it appears you've outlived your usefulness." Shrugging, he raised the gun, feigning his absolution that there was nothing more the hacker had to offer them. Pausing just long enough as he waited for the -
"WAIT!"
For someone nearly entirely out of air in his lungs Timmy was surprisingly loud. Desperation so starkly clear in his bulging eyes it was clear he was ready to do exactly what Kylo hoped; reveal secrets his computer couldn't tell them.
Slowly easing his foot away again Kylo glanced at his watch, raising his brows as if genuinely evaluating. "You have exactly 90 seconds to change my mind. I suggest you make the most of them." Moving his foot back to rest closer to Timmy's collarbone he made a gesture with his gun, waiting for him to start talking.
Coughing and sputtering Timmy tried unsuccessfully to free himself, mistaking his compliance for a get out of jail free card. When he seemed to realize immediate freedom wasn't part of the deal he settled for raising his hands in surrender again. "You have to believe me," he rasped out, sweat tickling down his forehead as he pleaded, "I don't know much. In my line of work asking questions is never a good idea. The audit trail will tell you everything I did online, but someone dropped off a package at my door yesterday. Never saw who, but the second I opened my door I got a call telling me to go drop it off at the police station. They promised 50 grand. I don't know what was in it, they told me not to look in the package. But...I assume it was about you."
While thus far Kylo wasn't exactly impressed with the hacker's intelligence, he wasn't inclined to think he was wrong. Which unfortunately meant that now they would be dealing with law enforcement. The local police weren't a concern, but it wouldn't take long for them to give the information to their higher ups. Even less time for the feds to get involved. After Montana they'd been even more irritatingly persistent than usual. And though it was just a theory, Kylo was fairly certain Spearhead had more than one government official in their back pocket. Now that they had more information about he and the Knights they would turn their considerable resources on them.
Meaning the perfectly ordinary city she called home was about to become a war zone. One he couldn't afford to have her anywhere near. And even if it weren't for her, they still wouldn't have stayed in the area. Spearhead were his targets, not their minions. Facing off with them without actually being close to the source of the preverbal monster's head he aimed to cut off was nothing more than messy distraction that could cost them more than it was worth.
The anger pulsing in his veins must not have been difficult to interpret. Timmy's renewed begging pulled him from his dark thoughts, "It was nothing personal, I swear to God! Look man, you have to understand. I'm drowning here, I couldn't pass up the kind of money they were offering!"
By now Trudgen and Kuruk had finished. They came to stand from him, both their expressions grim. They knew just as well as he did the kind of implications this news had for all of them. Implications they needed to be handling rather than wasting more time with a second rate hack in a shitty apartment.
Nodding to his Knights he stepped back, freeing Timmy from his grip and allowing the two of them pull him to his unsteady feet. He looked between them all with such pitiful hopefulness he almost felt bad about forcing the gun into his hand and twisting it around to press the muzzle of the gun to his forehead, using Timmy's finger to pull the trigger. None of them flinched at the shot, nor the blood and brain matter that spattered against the dingy couch and wall behind them.
Trudgen and Kuruk released him, letting Timmy's now still body collapse to the ground, eyes still wide open in shock. "I left the forged permit for the gun with his files." Trudgen commented, glancing down at Timmy before looking back at Kylo with a pinch between his brows, "I take it we need to tell the others to speed up our departure plans?"
Nodding grimly, Kylo nodded towards the door, "We're leaving today."
********************
When he said 'we', Kylo had meant it.
There was no way around it. He knew she was going to be furious with him, especially after the night before when he'd agreed to trust her and not go after Finn immediately, but he couldn't take chances. In this case forgiveness would have to suffice in place of permission.
It wasn't lost on him, the unfairness of it all. He had promised her if she cooperated he would allow her to keep living her normal life. The kidnapping threat hadn't been one he thought he would ever need to act on. She was intelligent, she wasn't going to endanger her freedom or loved ones on the off chance he was bluffing. Not to mention; they both knew she had no actual desire to escape. He'd merely thought it wise to remind her that if she ever did something rash there would have to be consequences.
This had never been his intent.
Nonetheless, they were out of options and out of time to argue about it. If things had been less dire maybe they could have afforded a discussion, but as it was he was already fighting every impulse to have Vicrul drive her to the private air strip where the jet was waiting. He wasn't naive enough to think that a conversation would have changed anything. She would have insisted on staying. The safety of her family and friends would have been her priority; her distrust of his life would have spurred her into defiance and argument. And granted he was happy to give her the arguments, but only once he knew she was safe.
His decision was only reaffirmed when he got the call from Ushar to check the breaking news for a local TV station that was quickly gaining traction. Pausing in his task of packing her bag - only the basics, he would make sure she had everything she needed once they were settled - he felt his eyes widen at the grainy footage of a reporter standing several yards away from a traffic jam. A few small wrecks and lines of stopped cars. And the flaming fireball of what used to be a sedan.
Kylo had exactly eight seconds of pure, unfiltered panic before his phone buzzed again. This time from Vicrul, a one word text that proved to be his savior;
Safe.
If he'd had any doubts that leaving so abruptly wasn't the right call, they'd evaporated. While she was safe, she'd been in danger. Directly this time. Combined with the news from Ushar that Agent West had been snooping around her again, there was no denying the carefully hidden world he'd tried to create was coming apart at the seams. There was no choice, not without risking her safety. And that was an area in which he was completely unwilling to compromise.
Bring her home now. We're leaving as soon as you get here. Keep her distracted.
After pressing 'send' he finished packing her bag and resumed making their final arrangements to leave the country within the hour. The safe house in Mongolia would be their new home for the foreseeable future. The remote mountain location was so far off the grid it was virtually undetectable. Inescapable for her. And of course there was the added benefit of the lack of an extradition treaty.
It wasn't long after he'd finished packing her bags and checking in with the other Knights that he heard the sound of the garage door opening. Sighing, he brushed his fingers along the outline of the syringe in his pocket, knowing she was more than likely going to hate him for what he was about to do. All the progress he'd made in getting her to drop her walls could easily be lost. It was a risk he'd already accepted in favor of keeping her alive, but he dreaded the moment when this would catch up with him.
When he returned to the kitchen he found her standing there, confused and tense. The few details that he'd received so far about the attack on the highway easily explained why she would be shaken. While he'd exposed her to some of his world, the majority of it had been in word only. Not first hand experience. At least not outside of what she'd experienced at his hand. And while he may have unsettled her, he never had any intention of doing lasting harm. The same couldn't be said for the people coming after them.
"Angel?" he called out, warmed when she turned towards him, relief immediately flooding her features. Though he often forced her to admit she wasn't nearly as opposed to him as she pretended to be, moments when she was willingly vulnerable with him were few and far between.
The moment she came to him, arms wrapping tightly around him, he felt something he hadn't experienced in a very long time; guilt.
"I'm really glad to see you." she mumbled softly, the familiar scent of her shampoo and perfume enveloping his senses. The usual wave of calm he felt only in her presence washing over him. He'd known she was safe, but the relief of actually feeling her steady breath and warm skin did considerably more than a text message could ever hope to.
"Me too." he breathed, softly caressing her back, and feeling the weight of the syringe in his pocket a little more with each passing moment. It was impossible not to think back to the night he'd met her when he'd come with the singular goal of obtaining Poe Dameron's whereabouts and within the span of a few hours found himself on a course that had led to this all consuming obsession that was now the epitome of his universe. And how, just like that night, the drugs were a kindness. An alternative to much more brutal fate.
Pulling back just enough he slipped a hand away from her to pull the syringe out, deftly stabbing it into the soft flesh of her neck before she could register what was happening. He watched as first confusion, then alarm, and then perhaps most painfully betrayal flashed in her hazy eyes, "Why?" The question seemed to be her last burst of strength before she swayed on her feet, collapsing into his waiting arms.
Swallowing back his mounting guilt he lifted her up into his arms as the back door opened. Vicrul walked in, looking more somber than he'd seen him in a while. He watched with an uneasy expression as Kylo adjusted his grip, "I didn't have a choice." At least not one that he was willing to make any differently. "Rest, baby." he murmured, kissing her forehead as she drifted into a forced sleep. With the dose he'd given her he was confident she would sleep through the travel to the safe house. Not that he resistance would have changed his plans, but he didn't relish the idea of dragging her kicking and screaming from one place to another.
"Get her bag. Let's go." Kylo ordered shortly, defenses snapping firmly back into place. The moments of vulnerability he still allowed himself were reserved for her and his memories of his son; in all other aspects of his life he strived to remain unchanged. His world wasn't kind to those that chose to drop their guard.
He could tell Vicrul wanted to say something more but he strode past him, sliding sideways through the back door and carrying her to the waiting SUV in the garage. With only minor difficulty he managed to open the back door and set her down on the seat. Reaching to the lever that controlled the seat he reclined it enough that she could lay back without a strain on her neck and shoulders. After buckling her seatbelt he paused long enough to lean in and press his lips against her cheek, "I'm sorry, angel. But I promise you everything will be fine."
In the end he would ensure not only her safety, but that those who threatened it would become nothing more than a vaguely unpleasant memory.
Shutting her door he climbed into the passenger's seat as Vicrul slid behind the wheel after having stowed her bag in the back. He started the car and backed out of the driveway in record time. Glancing to the side Kylo noted the tightness of his grip on the wheel; his knuckles nearly white with pressure. "Ap'lek texted before we left, we're wheels up the second we get to the airstrip."
Though the message was concise as ever, there was an edge to his voice. From one of the others he might not have thought much of it, but Vicrul so seldom took anything seriously it left an unpleasant taste in his mouth that he seemed to take issue with his plans.
"Whatever it is, you might as well say it now. We're all about to be stuck together at 30,000 feet, if I need to kick your ass I'd rather do it on the ground." Kylo said dryly, gaze pointedly fixed on the road head of them - and keeping an eye peeled for any other potential threats like the one Vicrul had just taken care of - but he watched him carefully out of the corner of his eye.
Though Vicrul was careful in keeping his eyes forward as welt was clear he'd hit the nail on the head, "This is fucked up, Ren. She protected you earlier with West. Lied right to his face and even after almost getting shot she was worried about you. You're punishing her for doing exactly what you told her to do."
A surge of anger flooded his veins. Admittedly he knew Vicrul was right; she hadn't done anything wrong. In fact she'd done more than he would have ever had any right to expect. And justified or not he was going back on his word. But he wasn't punishing her, he was trying to keep her alive. And the last thing he needed in the heat of the moment was Vicrul's commentary. Her safety had to come before anything else.
"So you would prefer I leave her in that pitifully unguarded house, just waiting to become Spearhead's next target?" Kylo asked quietly, fists clenching at his sides as he reminded himself that dislocating his jaw would more than likely just get all three of them killed.
He made a mental note to revisit the topic during their next training session.
Sighing as he changed lanes and continued to speed as inconspicuously as possible towards the private airstrip, Vicrul tossed him a pleading look, "You know that's not what I meant." He took a hand away from the wheel to run through his dark bronze hair, the frustration evident in his cerulean gaze as he struggled to find the right words, "Couldn't you have just told her what was going on and asked her to come? I know she'd stubborn as fuck but she isn't suicidal."
"Were the bullets aimed at your head not proof enough we didn't have time to discuss this?" He fired back dryly, feeling a spark of irritation at the way Vicrul spoke of her as if he knew her. Yes they'd spent a few days together during the Montana job, but it hardly gave him the right to council him on how to handle her safety. "Not that I owe you the explanation but she never would have agreed quickly. She would insist we try and involve the police, or that her loved ones needed to be protected, or any number of other excuses she could dream up. I won't risk her life in favor of not offending her." He was fully aware of the storm he'd face when she woke up, but he'd gladly deal with it. It was far preferable to seeing one of the only people he gave a damn about in the world carted off in a body bag.
He'd already taken steps to assign discreet security detail to her loved ones. He sincerely doubted they were in any danger, but on the off chance they became targets by association he had it covered. At the very least he hoped that would assure her that he was trying to honor her wishes as much as he could.
Vicrul's jaw clenched, and Kylo suspected he was still far from being in agreement with his course of action, but after several long moments he finally gave a stiff nod, "I get it. It's just messed up."
On that there was no disagreement. Anything to do with Spearhead was 'messed up', but there was nothing to be done about it now other than continue to work to eliminate them.
And keep an eye on the man sitting next to him, who he now suspected was even more conflicted than he let on.
********************
Consciousness evaded you for what felt like days.
At first only a confusing array of sounds managed to penetrate through the haze fogging your mind; low voices, the sound of rushing air, doors opening. Your heavy eyelids refused to part for what felt like a lifetime, leaving you to guess at the outside world in your few lucid moments.
That floating, disconnected feeling consumed you. You knew something was wrong, but you couldn't think. Couldn't remember. You'd been swallowed by the void around you and clawing your way out wasn't something you could even fathom when you couldn't manage to cling to consciousness for more than a few seconds.
Though eventually you began to feel the fog clearing; you began hearing more consistent noise. You still couldn't manage to open your eyes but you felt smooth upholstery against your skin. The feeling of being lifted. Not an experience you were eager to repeat. Even with your eyes closed the motion turned your stomach with nausea. The softness of a pillow underneath you. Lips against your forehead, Kylo's voice coming through distantly as if at the end of a tunnel, "Ssshh," you felt his cool hand on your overly-warm skin, soothing you at the weak moan of discomfort that escaped your lips, "go back to sleep, angel. You'll feel better when you wake up."
Whether your body decided to listen to him or you were simply too spent to do otherwise you fell into the abyss once again, the blackness wrapping around you like a blanket.
****************
When you finally managed to open your eyes it felt like days had passed. Your head felt heavy, like it had been stuffed with cotton. Your limbs were stiff with misuse. A remaining feeling of dizziness and nausea remained, but it at least wasn't quite as intense as it had been before.
Along with the return to the land of the living came the flood of memories, reaffirming your vague sense of alarm that something was wrong. The car chase, helping Vicrul take out the driver, coming home, seeing your suitcase by the door, hearing Kylo's voice...the prick of the needle in your neck before you'd collapsed. After all of the times he'd threatened to steal you away if you didn't cooperate it shouldn't have been a shock, but you'd thought you were on at least somewhat stable ground with one another.
Especially after you lied to an FBI agent to protect him and kept your word not to warn Finn of the lethal danger he was facing.
As if summoned by your outrage, you blinked a few times when you felt his finger trace along your cheek. The world came back into blurry focus, revealing a darkened, unfamiliar bedroom. The majority of the walls appeared to be glass, overlooking a dense forest, though you could distantly see the glimmer of water beyond them even from where you were laying. Where there were solid walls they appeared to be paneled with distressed grey-ash brown wood. Aside from a few dressers and nightstands and the mounted lamps above the headboard of the bed, the room seemed minimalist in decoration.
Kylo sat down next to you on the bed, sinking into the white down comforter you were covered with. His face materialized more quickly as your eyes adjusted. He was watching you with a mixture of concern and weariness. He held up a small white pill and a bottle of water when he seemed confident you were actually awake this time, "To help with the side effects."
Despite actually wanting something that would get rid of the pounding headache and remaining nausea you rolled your eyes as you struggled to pull yourself into a sitting position, "Right, because obviously that's what I want from you. More drugs." The world spun uncomfortably for several long moments before it finally righted itself. You scooted back against the pillows, trying to create at least a few inches of distance from him. Apart from being furious at his betrayal, his proximity had your heart thundering in your chest with panic.
Reality was beginning to take root. Not only did you not recognize the room you were in, you had no idea where you were. How long you'd been out cold. Or what Kylo intended on doing with you now that he'd made good on his promise.
You could feel your breaths coming shorter, a tightness building in your chest as you looked around the room again. The unidentifiable forest out the windows. For all you knew you could be a few hours away from home; you could be in a different country. This wasn't some planned trip, Kylo had effectively stolen you from your life. You thought of your parents, your family, your friends, work. How long would it be before someone realized you'd fallen off the grid? How long had it been since you'd contacted anyone? Judging from outside it looked like it was either a gloomy early evening or early in the morning. Meaning either way at least several hours to nearly a day had passed.
The faint churning of your stomach suddenly turned to a full blown twist of your insides. The overwhelming realization of had happened felt like it was suffocating you. Ignoring Kylo when his brows pinched at what you were sure was the paling of your skin you rolled quickly off the bed and out from underneath the covers and bolted for the door you were abundantly grateful turned out to be the bathroom. You only just barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of your stomach.
Much to your irritation and embarrassment, Kylo was only steps behind you, gathering your hair away from your face and holding it on top of your head.
The dry heaves that wracked your body - even after you were certain there was nothing left in your body to purge - were painful enough to keep you from demanding he leave you alone. It was all you could do to simply remain upright, your hands clutching the porcelain in front of you so tightly your fingers cramped.
When it was finally over you reluctantly let Kylo help you back to your feet, his arm remaining around you as you moved towards the sink to wash your mouth out. Though oddly enough you were greeted with the sight of your cosmetic bag perched beside the basin.
You weren't sure whether to be touched he'd been so meticulous in packing your things, or disturbed that he once again seemed to have information and knowledge about your life and your home you'd never given him.
Given the circumstances you decided to simply be grateful for a toothbrush for the time being. While Kylo released you when you shrugged out of his hold to dig through your bag and go through the motions of brushing your teeth and taking advantage of the mouthwash he'd also thought to bring, he didn't move more than a few inches away. He watched you with that same wrinkle between his brow as if he expected you to drop at any moment.
Hell. given you didn't have any idea what he'd injected you with maybe that was a possibility.
When your mouth finally felt clean again you packed your things back in your bag, pausing when you realized for the first time he must have brought his earlier offering with him; the pill and water sat on the counter as well. Noticing you looking at them you watched Kylo gesture towards them in the mirror, "It will alleviate the symptoms, I promise."
The scoff that worked its way from your lips was forge in to even you; filled with resentment and mirth. Rounding on him you narrowed your eyes, wishing you weren't so tempted by the idea of feeling better. "You promise? Like you promised that you wouldn't do this if I cooperated? Your word doesn't mean shit to me anymore, Kylo."
"Be as angry with me as you need to be, but you're not hurting anyone but yourself by not taking that. It's just anti nausea medication. I'm happy to swallow that one and bring you another." Kylo replied calmly. Smoothly. Only the slight tightening of his lips revealing his emotions. Surely he had to have been expecting you to be furious with him? The question was - did your anger actually mean anything to him?
But, considering your churning stomach and remaining dizziness, you could at least concede to his point. Rolling your eyes you turned and grabbed the pill, popping it in your mouth and swallowing several sips of water before screwing the cap back on. "Should I position myself away from sharp edges? I'd hate to crash into one when I pass out again."
Clearly not appreciating your sarcasm, Kylo simply reached out and tapped the side of your water bottle, "You should drink the rest of that, you're probably dehydrated." He stepped around you after that and slipped out the door without another word.
Had you been thinking more rationally you might have taken it as opportunity to collect your thoughts. Perhaps come up with some sort of plan, or let some of your shock and anger wear off, but you found yourself seeing red as his casual dismissal of what was happening here.
Stalking after him, your body acted almost of its own volition. Using the only thing you had at your disposal - the water bottle - you threw it with as much strength as you could muster, watching in grim satisfaction as the half-full bottle collided with the back of his head before falling to the hardwood floors with a dull thud. "Fuck you." you snarled, annunciating each word venomously.
You watched his shoulders tense in anger. You could feel his fury from where you stood, even before he turned to face you. His expression was one of forced civility; hanging on to control by a thread, "Given the circumstances I'll let that slide. Do not try it again." He bent and retrieved the bottle, setting it down on the dresser next to him rather than handing it back to you.
Probably for the best.
"Or what?" Your challenged, disregarding the voice in the back of your mind whispering it wasn't wise to pick a fight with him. "You'll kidnap me and drag me to parts unknown? Oh wait," You feigned a look of surprise that quickly faded back into fury, "you already did that. Guess you'll have to come up with a new threat to hold over my head this time."
"I know I broke my word to you. I regret that, but the circumstances are out of our control now. You were in the car with Vicrul when the attack happened. Had you been alone you would be dead right now." There was a note of pleading in his eyes as he explained, though he was clearly still on edge. Asking you to see his point of view. And granted he wasn't wrong, had things been different you easily could have ended up dead, but he was missing the point.
"How do you know I wasn't only in danger because I was in the car with Vicrul?" You countered, crossing your arms. You weren't letting him off that easy no matter his logic. "Don't kid yourself, Kylo. The only reason I'm in danger is because you forced your way into my life after targeting Poe. If you'd left me alone none of this would be happening."
You knew it wasn't entirely fair to blame him; you'd been too much of a willing participant in your relationship to simply lay the blame at his doorstep. But in your anger you didn't care. Maybe you were safe, but what about everyone left behind? Would they suffer the consequences? Would you ever get your life back?
"No," he agreed, taking a few calculated steps closer to you, looking down at you with a mixture of knowing, anger, and apology that left your head spinning, "but you were given the opportunity yesterday to be rid of me. You could have told West everything and he would have spirited you away then and there. But you didn't. You lied. You chose to protect me. To stay with me. And though I wish things were different, there is a cost to be paid for being connected to my world."
There was little room for you to argue against at least that much; protecting him had been your choice. If any part of you had doubts or wanted to turn back the clock and free yourself of Kylo, that had been the golden opportunity. Kylo was right; West would have helped you then and there. But you didn't even consider it. Not just because the idea of Kylo being locked up or hurt or killed evading capture was intolerable...but because you didn't want a life without him.
But at the same time you'd already paid the price by putting yourself in danger. Lying to your loved ones. Lying to federal agents. Implicating yourself in whatever crimes he and the Knights might commit.
Losing your freedom wasn't supposed to be part of the deal.
You stepped back as he continued to advance on you, holding out a hand to stop him, "Just because I didn't want to see you end up in prison or killed in some standoff with the FBI does not mean I gave you free reign to drug me and take me away from my life! You've been using that as a threat for weeks, Kylo. It wasn't the 'cost of being with you'; you just made a decision for both of us. You didn't even bother trying to discuss it with me. I thought this was supposed to be some form of a relationship. Turns out I'm just your prisoner you were fooling into thinking otherwise." By the time you finished you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. Adrenaline beginning to course through your veins. It should have been a relief to fight back, but instead you found yourself only angrier than you'd been before.
Kylo had been the one to tell you he wanted to make things work. That his infatuation had nothing to do with his revenge against Poe. That he cared. And maybe he did, but clearly not enough to include you in life altering decisions. It was a call back to the night he'd found out about Finn's potential involvement with the Amsterdam attack; whatever progress you'd made seemed to fly out the window any time a situation arose that went deeper than what to have for dinner.
"I don't regret doing what needs to be done to keep you alive. I wish there'd been more time to prepare you, but we weren't given that luxury. Once you've had the time to think this through I think you'll realize it's not as bad as you're making it out to be." While he did halt his progress he made no move to step away, either. You wondered if he wasn't subtly blocking the open door behind him. Not that you liked your odds of escape much at this point; the view out the windows confirmed you were probably in the middle of nowhere.
"If you expect me to sit back and play good little captive you're about to be disappointed. You might get to control where I go, but I'm done cooperating." He'd lost his biggest threat against you by taking you away. Granted he could revert back to threatening the safety of your loved ones but at least now he was - you assumed - far away from them.
But, rather than get angry, his lips twitched slightly. A pitying look in his eyes as he stepped forward again, ignoring your attempt to hold him back. In a matter of seconds you felt the wall against your back, his hands coming to rest on either side of your head. You wished his proximity didn't still have an affect on you. Being as angry at him as you were you didn't appreciate your body's automatic response to him. "I no longer need your cooperation, angel. I would much rather you accept reality and adjust, but if you need to scream and rage you're more than welcome to. Because if you really do believe yourself nothing more than my prisoner," One hand moved away from the wall so he could grab your chin with two long fingers, "then I should have no qualms about keeping you locked up. And that would make things so much easier for you, wouldn't it? Then you could convince yourself you're not a willing participant in all this. You can be free of the guilt of knowing that leaving that mundane little life behind doesn't bother you nearly as much as you wish it did."
Whether there was any truth to what he said became completely irrelevant in that moment. That anger and fear you felt so little control over finally snapped. Rather than sniping back at him you used his grip against him and spit into his smug, egotistical face.
The hand that had been on your chin immediately appeared at your throat, squeezing tightly, though not entirely cutting off your air supply. You could see the fury boiling behind his dark amber eyes; a look you weren't sure where it would have taken him had it not been for Vicrul's voice from the door.
"Kylo."
Glancing around Kylo you found both Vicrul and Trudgen standing in the doorway. Trudgen, as usual, kept the emotion from his expression, but Vicrul looked uneasy. Angry, even. Maybe it was selfish, or simply survival instincts taking over, but you knew without a doubt he was your way out of this.
"You're late for a training session." Trudgen pointed out quietly before Kylo could speak. His eyes never drifted from yours, but you could feel the tension in his grip as he weighed his options. "Vicrul and Ap'lek just finished and offered to show her around the house."
You weren't sure if Trudgen was interfering on your behalf or Kylo's - maybe both? - but you'd never been more grateful for his presence. You'd noticed before that Kylo seemed to respond best to him of all the Knights. Even now when he was furious and clearly in no mood to surrender, after a few long moments you felt him relax slightly.
Taking a breath Kylo finally nodded stiffly. Looking down at you there was dark promise in his eyes you weren't sure you'd seen since the night you met him. "We're not finished here." Releasing you he finally turned back to his Knights, wiping the saliva from his face before joining them at the door. You watched his meaningful look to Vicrul...only reaffirming you suspicion that he wasn't approving of what Kylo had done and may have been your only chance of escape.
And you would escape. If Kylo thought you were just going to bend to his will that easily he was sorely mistaken.
When Kylo and Trudgen finally disappeared down the hall Vicrul watched them go with a sigh. Turning to you he gestured for you to join him, "Come on."
*******************
For Trudgen to call the massive property you found yourself occupying a 'house' had been hilariously generous.
After Ap'lek joined you - you realized it was the first time you'd even met him, apparently his guarding duties were usually tech related so he hadn't been around your house much - he and Vicrul took you on a tour of the safe house.
The second floor where Kylo had brought you housed a number of other bedrooms and bathrooms, in addition to a den/home theater, kitchen, and an expansive deck that held some outdoor furniture and a hot tub that looked big enough to swim in. Ap'lek explained that all the Knights stayed on the first floor so you and Kylo would have the second floor to yourselves. As if that was a comfort at the moment. But Ap'lek didn't seem to notice your preoccupation. You couldn't help but notice he was younger than all the other Knights appeared to be. Less confident in his role, but you could sense his desire to prove himself from a mile away.
Meaning he would the least likely to help you. Not if it meant going against Kylo.
As they showed you the first floor - an admittedly stunning lodge with tons of windows that exposed the gorgeous views of the forest and nearby lake - you were trying to formulate a plan. No matter how much you might have wanted to take action immediately, you had just arrived and Kylo was clearly on high alert. You would need to wait until he dropped his guard at least somewhat before trying anything. And you would also have to find a way to convince Vicrul to help you, effectively betraying his boss and friend.
You felt guilty for your plans to use him, but your hope was that if everything turned out the way you envisioned he would be able to escape blame.
When the tour concluded in the massive living room, Ap'lek politely excused himself to return to his work. Apparently he was something of an inventor and he had a workshop in the basement that he was working on getting ready for him to resume activity. Before he left he gave your shoulder a squeeze, his dark eyes reassuring, "It won't be so bad. We've had to pack up and leave more than once. You adjust."
Though you sincerely doubted it would be that easy, you gave him a weak smile. He was just trying to help, there was no sense in being resentful of him.
The moment Ap'lek disappeared in the direction of the door to the basement accessed through the kitchen you turned back to Vicrul, knowing you needed to take advantage of the moment alone. You weren't sure how long Kylo and the other Knights would be training, but you couldn't afford to waste an opportunity that might not come again. Judging by the look Kylo had given Vicrul you weren't sure he'd allow much alone time in the future.
"Can we go for a walk? Outside? Not far, I just need to clear my head." Neither Vicrul nor Ap'lek had gone into any detail about security, but you had no doubts there had to be some in place. And you figured it was likely to be less guarded outside. If there were cameras set up it seemed like a safer bet to assume you stood less chance of being overheard.
At first it looked as though Vicrul was going to turn you down, but you relied on your already overactive emotions to put a little extra pleading in your expression. Though you suspected he could see your less than angelic intent he did finally concede, "Fine. But go change first. You'll freeze in a dress."
Until he'd mentioned it, it hadn't even occurred to you that you were still wearing the same clothes you'd picked to meet Lucas at the cafe. It already felt like a lifetime had passed.
With a nod you quickly made your way back upstairs, hoping Kylo had done a decent job of packing your clothes.
*****************
Much to your irritation and unease, not only had Kylo packed for the weather and managed to select only your favorite pieces, but one of the closets in the bedroom you'd woken up in was fully stocked with clothes and shoes; all your exact sizes. Somehow he'd managed to find the time - or had someone else - to bring you a full wardrobe. Further reinforcing that he intended on keeping you there for an extended period of time.
Trying to tuck that worry away for a more convenient time you changed into a pair of dark wash jeans, a black cable knit sweater and one of the puffy winter jackets he'd thought to get you. After slipping on a pair of warm winter boots you hurried back downstairs to find Vicrul waiting for you by back door.
You followed him outside, grateful the moment the blast of freezing air washed over you that you'd taken his advice and changed. Wherever he'd brought you - which had still yet to be disclosed to you - was a significant drop in temperature from what you were used to.
There were several yards in all directions of the house that were cleared, the remaining grass well kept. Especially for a place that hadn't been occupied previously. You could hear distant grunts and heavy footfalls from the other side of the house, according to Ap'lek and Vicrul that was where the Knights would be doing most of their training and sparring.
Following Vicrul, he led you towards the edge of the trees and you quickly realized there was a small path carved out and marked with red markers on the trees. The overcast light overhead dimmed significantly as you walked further in, casting you both in shadows, but Vicrul seemed confident in his navigation.
Unsure of how far he intended on going, when you were reasonably sure you'd gone far enough to be out sight of the house and hopefully any security technology, you grabbed Vicrul's arm and pulled him to a stop. He turned slowly to face you, looking unsurprised. You assumed he'd been waiting for this since you asked him to take a walk.
"Did you know what he was going to do?" Maybe playing the guilt card was a little on the low side, but you were desperate enough to try. And you were hurt that he'd essentially hand delivered you to Kylo. You remembered the way he'd hesitated before getting out of the car. Telling you everything would be fine.
The unmistakable look of guilt that crossed his features told you everything you needed to know. "I didn't know it would play out like that. And for what it's worth I told him what he was doing was fucked up."
You hadn't expected that - it surprised you that he was so willing to openly speak against Kylo, but this wasn't the first time you'd gotten the distinct impression of all the Knights he was the least 'compliant' - but it was exactly what you needed to hear to give you the confidence to keep pushing and be reasonably sure he wouldn't just run to Kylo and tell him you were plotting to escape.
With your hand still on his arm, you mustered every persuasive bone in your body, "If that's true, then help me." You could see him about to shut down or make an excuse. You placed your other hand on his arm, squeezing to keep his attention. You would atone for the manipulation later. "Please. You're the only one who can help me. You just said it yourself you don't think he did the right thing, right? So do something about it. Help me get home."
You could see the internal debate taking place behind his gaze, the wheels turning to make a decision. On the one hand, you both knew Kylo wouldn't actually hurt you. It was why you didn't play the fear card. Angry as you at him for what he'd done, and scared of simply not knowing where you were or if you would ever see your loves ones again, there wasn't a single part of you that believed you were in danger.
"Vicrul please, you know you can trust me. I protected him, protected all of you when West came to find me. I just don't want to be locked up here while people I care about might be paying for my choices." The anger you'd thought it about the more it had begun to come together in your mind. With the FBI upping their search for Kylo you doubted he would be able to safely follow you. Escaping now would force some distance so you could figure out what your next move was. Maybe it was just as much of a risk to go back alone, but you just couldn't be complacent in what Kylo was doing. Feelings for him or not.
He looked from your expression to your grip for several long seconds, his eyes narrowing. The wait was agonizing, but you'd made your case. There wasn't anything else you could think to draw on that might change his mind if he decided not to help you.
You began to fear that his rejection was coming when he finally sighed, "Fuck." He looked up at the trees above you, eyes closed. When he sought your gaze out again you could see the dread; but it was also mixed with absolution. "We can try. Long as you realize we're both fucking dead if this doesn't work."
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(a/n)
uh oh... 0___o
prepare yourselves for smutty smut next chapter. and more plotting with Vicrul. and angst. drama. just get ready ok.
thank you so much for reading and all your support! please comment/vote, I adore hearing from you all!
until next time <3